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"2017-10-03 14:00:02"
Jim Carrey | Norm Macdonald Live
\\today show sponsored by AB side travel and stitch thanks man I starting your business start here you know it you know Cameron's business perjury no believe me I'm going on here like this I'm completely sensitive to be hammered out our school I'm I'm completely sensitive to camera angle you know exactly what I'm doing tags on I know that you're completely clear in the shot 32 I don't know how to count yeah Jim Carrey who knows cameras yeah and I just I just I just I go yeah like go against the norm and yet I love the new at the same time story missile occurred everything I do is get you ever made love to a camera literally through a camera and they say yeah I know but to a box of film I did yeah yeah yeah yeah you load into I don't know yes you do goodwill in that in that time so this is very interesting as I good to see you hate to see a jobless out but we need empty cups up here because I brought you something yeah woman brought you treat Noah yeah I treat is the first yeah you could share physically loaded John hilly miles of film but I yeah doing a callback there did you see that no one get a callback it'll never listen I no longer is all so I got some on some on something called keno coffee here are guaranteed a coffee I'm I'm guessing it's not a copy what and how Holly no no no it's coffee or its coffee and the alcohol yeah but ... here she's the first few can up with it Michelle okay now what's in this is that is bulletproof cocking her bro yeah off a couple of tunes coffee and cow which is like this chocolate powder yeah ... it's also like this always like Batman and robin make we hadn stuff on the old TV show henchman that you don't know how can turn water cow that really has an element called tyrosine in it and it is an element of the human brain responsible for enthusiasts so how she'll react get who got in line with joy about what you she's okay working there attain has it's only good if you stop for the castle there's also a letter my hand Europe is also fits me take it's out so scenes from the term before margarine sticks it still forget service there right now who before and then we go right to the kick out then what chance is on the stones really funny and arriving in that but there is ... ... I'm doing you have you I don't know where his each kill the enemy gotta kill it together back yeah I see I get I get the challenge your life that you like to ask you to hold your room to hell so we do and in the story that you never heard that lost millions of her love about ... Danny Thomas images at all I mean yeah yeah yeah you never heard of that which was surprising tallest but then so I'm going to say whether this is good at any time for the hobbies that I and Danny Thomas sets of pre elections when the camera lying down lately so you like glass tables apparently I got apparently so Jim and I know this story is told the story and he said instant hello Sarah such fast pace thank you Sir and he said that's the kind of guilds that will make you build hospitals yeah hospital I do not want to be reminded you know who is a good hostel is good stuff that's nmrs Jamie's you too is that near to the art of ... Jimmy Seville he was also she is years man shares measures also it wasn't 0 ales concede the oil in this which which carries blood past noon I'm sorry blood and oxygen past the blood brain barrier see won't get outside I just 0 in didn't give you is a very no we didn't like our option I we just fight when we see well that's good holy quickly got as many good neurons home networking you get it like it you buy this anybody wears a share this wow yeah this is what is out in one shot revising there's yeah this is the other side of the Cup to slow you know to her new rumors I we right god damn can count all those words yeah chan I think that's a that's a place that time there was rain near your apartment Linda they had them both of god and yeah that's plus pose much less it has gained which is purified butter and ... and ... Himalayan salt and stevia so it is the greatest strength that you can put in your body was gene so some whose aim is one cannot wait I'm champing at through stevia there things are good at all red dye number 3 Anna NDA pla then so I went green so I just want to say is that I think this is the greater shown callout isn't NDEs we don't need Friel's any longer right now I don't think my history get to the point yeah yeah it's just people making sound solid is it's a nightlight you know it's just something like they'd entertain Janet the same time like I can set went for small you are the man you are my comedy choice whenever I learn or something on you tube or whatever it is norms always my first comic choice goddammit fitness yeah and ... elitist there is could you can suck up a little I sit there naked just going like what is this it's a big deal about and ... and I because here it is style around this you and me yeah when anyone along with you you make me feel like I'm young again is there still a lot of around one that they were commanded to I'd never met anybody who's my father is the same name as your father is a weird man Hoshi is your gas and remember that I'd never heard anyone how purse and member when you came in his life a scent of ... indeed and of a man on the moon sure yeah money and is also in the film what was your goodness in order when you came in a literal Andy who was dressed up as this as the psycho mom yeah right I was flooded right now here the reason I was that he wanted on us and you go ahead well start I can this year brown isn't really ... over with the ... late grade No Way flatland running that we talked about earlier about is a good idea Mr Kerry of myself up I'm now what's the name of the universal suitors universal half the sewer Burza they have de Ravin this psycho ... yeah and legend is a as you'd expect dressed up as a no harm he takes his mother when I was and he called the numerous Rastus yeah I mean that's not how hot he doesn't understand I understand where you're all day on the set of those just agree those people come on you had to sign a translator well hopefully they'll see a famous birth right and maybe don't even see Jim Carrey or Wayne farming but they do not have to add a new one we're doing fine so I of a G. M. well what if we show Jim Carrey Miller probably thing on the the biggest there in the world on yeah but they don't see Jim Carrey they see Norman Bates is mother chasing them with a giant knife that's right I know I had an axe n't I attack you in your judgment came up to the psycho house actually walk on this and I said what does Jerry doing some funny Saddam's elder walked up the stairs 19 Adam out of the dark unicycle house with an real terrified yeah no defenses once in awhile back that I thought had been really down I thought well yeah plugin that Martin balsam with again totally very but then you went after the ... that's for him climbed up on the back in a trance start a wheeling axolotls has I think part of the tour to this day in a talk I want to say one other things as it was brought up at the top and I saw a little tiny bit of it but ... the GM and Bob's of wooden boats all made the greatest practical joke of all time and they hope to make into a documentary or having trouble with that ... a certain mansion but you know the story of time you know and there are you having trouble at the mansion where that old man yeah yeah bono when he was cool though once I told him the story you know where do I live you know I do well you know they give a mansion with an old man and a whole bunch of beautiful young girls once the monsters is gone he was joking was masturbating tour or a monster models I'm a grown up yeah it's a liberal thing for awhile liberals off she had me as a blow the store got gotta yeah and ... no no I wasn't I was invite the humana moving to that that a playboy mansion have invited me up there for the midsummer night's dream party and I was not alone knowledgeware your head isn't you don't budgeted to absorb cut to start eating now our shore the planet at the time I was being Andy Kaufman and Tony Clifton so they said well Jim isn't here right now can can Tony come up can you come up as Tony and play and so half was like great Notitia you know they descend just don't tell anybody don't tell anybody it's Jim Carrey well but not there we heard like another RC has no idea who works out there there and then Jim Carrey was gonna come the mansion and stuff so so any got pissed and sent Tony but the real Tony that thank ... Tony Clifton who was the second Tony Clifton is ... is Bob's modems Andy's writer and he got into the old stuff again and he showed up the mansion and have came out of the light or if I can just 15 minutes with them yesterday's realize anybody you understand that ... ... he was invited Andy Kaufman give your yeah out of invited to go to violent ration Bob Zmuda hands are going to play one match of pretending to be a novelist John Calvin John I was carrying has totally politically so everyone's is fawning all hope yeah number 8 seemingly jealous he says he was like how how can you be no books shorter would you cannot NMO I stayed down in and out burger zine burgers and fries no shakes and keep in contact with them and I showed up 2:00 hours later I in my pajamas and watch the door in half was standing there with Jim Carrey slash Tony Clifton zakat and turn to look at me and his face just one ash in any because so we leave freaked out and it was instant chaos and Tony was Jack students let me mess and hold out the we're in this he's one and down here is that you are you there is a mood and the moon is down the alley and there's Gennaro saying you know Hey do run I mean this all the time and yeah and then only actually for our security at this place said price and they must be credible plan he's got his enemy got through my defense clearly Sharon how the whole book was directs the always wax me I can only imagine or is most of them are new year anyway cool or is from I did I can me a lot about who ... who is ... the writer sat for all in movies like that guerrilla theatre ask the earth and I was him he just you Ringo Starr sellers goes around and in this mood and really everything it does include an anti you to go to move York and they go to sleep they'd say during the moment where the slab and that a girl and she all they would yell out Kurt K. days off Nnamdi we watched you you if you I wish you could see any space this is one I like Donald Trump no matter Donald Trump no I don't I have to say is a big issue I don't know I was really pulling for a bit of it is I got to say certainly Luis Jimenez slip through masses of yeah certainly meaningless never really did stand out in the I ... yeah yeah yeah hello to our night so that yeah first Greta the first cell beginning my another inevitable death you're right I don't suffer what do we do into our into no Jim I it's a new form I can you this I don't I please one would you do this on the merits show I'm in show girl are you Rocca but I ... and I'm so sorry none now is this all there is you know that is indestructible hollow and your Canadian you know I read the curling general idea about every 4 years you that is a not a renewable you know it ... those are curling stuff stones I don't really know hi Rosie goiter so we take him for granted yeah it will mean that we're gonna along I there is Amazon is sponsored by upside travel if you traveled as much as I do then you know it's a game of wins and losses when you get your next sleeps and realizes an open seat next year well that's a win when the person in front of you reclines their seat taking up all your leg room so lots buying your business trip but let's not just to win that is a triple win win number one upside as the absolute best available prices for flights hotels and rental car win never do upside move reward you with a gift card to places like Everytime you buy a business trip and number 3 is the amazing 6 star treatment that you will get from upsides customer service specialists who comes out navigators now recently and navigator noticed an upside user stop me if you've heard this one was booked in a middle seat on a 3 hour plus flight so the navigator upgraders you and I'll see with more rooms that's very very grand and that's just one example of how upside navigators go above and beyond for business travelers measure what they'll do for you I'm side navigators there instantly accessible 247 by voice chat email or message on the upside at either reaching out to you with you useful info to help you avoid a problem before that problem happens and I wisteria upside 6 star treatment right now good use my code Norman you'll get a minimum $100 gift card to that's code no armor for a minimum of $100 gift card to when you buy your next trip at upside outcome upside outcome you deserve a better business trip minimum purchase required see site for complete details that with the inimitable ... Jim Carrey him in a room imitator enter inevitable enter into but that apparently on her when I haven't asked I developed quite a habit with the cell phone well I like the sandbag my arm every once in awhile keep myself so it's like with producer not sure yeah yeah I can see sleeveless now NPI music I you just ignoring you right now yeah but it is your other failure to tackle you know how far well Hey Jeff before because we could you know of the zombie apocalypse has occurred is that people are mistaken about theirs on people of people talking on the zombie apocalypse that you're the fucking zombies ... Nnamdi this this is the feral zombie apocalypse matter right are you I am today on one of the items on these men well there is I mean there's no lag black if you ever guys I'm it's all cool I guess I'm just market into zombies yeah now listen June evening well the nails on the network figures yeah yeah ruse are this is one person one person on this blue card as all these things that he is present or should I or you can say anymore worship it's not right to say anyway yeah it that's executive who's are sure times I'm dying up there receive the generational or of the 2007 digits for last comment as a mature on July a documentary jamming kit and Jim and the the great beyond the story Jim Carrey an anti government future very special contractually obligated mention of Tony Clifton wasn't accepted by the Venice and Toronto film fest with many documentary that we were talking earlier I need a collar on GM has love painting and sculpting and he has an upcoming art show in Las Vegas Nevada the ends of ever perhaps I was missing but if I'm not then they're very popular painter because what I heard is to be in the same room as the paintings sites you back $10000 ... I I guess I know I'm totally organize that type of thing and you know it's not my doing when they did and I went OK we're talking about 10 now we're not just a good start good start weird I wear red Skelton knew that users at a big collection of his band yeah Rocklahoma Buckingham it wasn't into the red Skelton's yeah nothing he won't do a shabby old hat from his chest you know that he bought everything he ever did and destroyed it what no you bought the rights to everything ever did university and red Skelton who earlier never seen red Skelton kinescope I see anything he just erase them separate why now you know if you have any idea why or like the ... yeah invisible man is gone he went away you know why I don't know why ... could be self hatred leads figured out could be he didn't know that he could do that without leaving I know is it leaves blowing it was gonna leave but he that he didn't know that he could actually erase himself without raising his work like I'm racing myself I I'm not even fuckin here right now I have I don't know what you're saying he lived in a time I don't exist I have no needs I don't need you people none of it nothing Anglo prove from anybody right ... I need long 3 squares a day yeah just to keep this thing alive but there's no me involved because I love cross the river of tears you don't have the typical ... ... you go on the ... of the performer right now you don't need anything all you needed so far is it is a little bit of ... trail mix and I need your arms Halloween is on fire New Zealand catching the wandering impressive 9 did not sound like a Joaquin Phoenix movie yeah so listen civil no I think your kids love that strangling the ocean does the bush never been down the book and awesome breaking but I will do it eventually strangle the ocean strangle the ocean 3 things poetic yeah yeah unital slaughter but neither Copperfield's out there going you know I'm really I love goddam eyes joking but I'm not Wonderstone who love them I said I was like that first by that this can't yeah I'm always wrong rise in this can fail were you in the mood now old timey them in magician that you root for you know yeah so Cornell that store gets you the super Christian agile or whatever guys as you are crusade nethack that's not the really cool who's the guy that not brand guess Damon soon but there by one of the new guy however I believe you should our house looks I believe the one who was your childhood or make a sound you I do the one where you you should ... staple gun into your head and I drill myself in here ansaroff drugs act always not like ... amusing Jonathan I think you should do something I don't know anybody so he always a real they are China like a super magician one of these guys you know everything out and I rock and roll yeah almost uses music majors yeah yeah yeah thing is we're saying Jesus but I'm not going where Jonathan Katz no I said NTSA Harry Anderson but but yeah I got here and is among the cheers and I'll do some trick at the beginning number you dad I'm under here and eyes and on his sanity the guy goes like this need takes the dime and I'll see your real I do go to him I thought and I 150000 fucking I'm gonna pay this guy why are you dumb or not but you know for under the deer there is maybe there were still focused on the rousing they just got from Carla I don't even know what that means even know what that means did I lose track of the story does it mean my tendency is to doubt myself first you know I don't think so in this you know this man Congress or I do not know nnst senior around their money you know when you were in charge of the whole I'm not just book it very excited about a project known as someone I knew it was wrong and I really so incredibly lucky to be the one you know they're bringing that you know kind of place and time that too active people xeno attention Syriana have highlighted one asked me but ... anyway so are you what we're talking about what if you're saying you know life about life but later in real life unexpected shatters all life 30 year career I ha I have a career your career is there's a career but there's no me she take me out of that question that then fine was heard on it or just the career yeah okay yeah so there's a rare the career begins with ... a young man man who's an impersonator yeah and I believe like I believe probably all comics at some level start as impersonators behaved children person eating bad and they watch funny people try to be like that sure that's a person and that was the first phase is is impersonate anything that that made it to where you want to make it right writings that they had so and now we are really just title was the first national you know the friend companion ... human slash doorway that you looked at as a Canadian hazards and an apparent Canadian and and you ... anyone all that's the way to do it see just imitated that senior imitating an imitator on acid that how the drives were your brothers you'd be doing I'm for no my frantic way yeah thank Darren is raising a different like to hear some data from authentic nnsl you'd be doing a person you never seen a movie like yeah Jimmy's acklands arsenal and yeah I'm doing Louis prima said so we frame ... marmoset yeah and you know who I am because our ... so there's so much in return now earlier times while we were in Thailand you were talking about the the career so then the career got here in Canada your ... you said I should be person the world's greatest numbers matter but you're also funny say what you want about a rich little guys not funny in between those god daily yeah he didn't take the leap into that the river of No I say no I have seen them trash is due this year yeah so I can keep that shit over there yeah and I've seen impressions do in dog give feelings on a tip that I yeah Clinton gets over here I swear to god I know it's not proper to say that kind of shit shoot little dog most people to me at bargain dog is football I can see impressionists do this ... they'll they'll either only new impressions in between completely commit to being a Vegas impressionistic guy who who present that's what he'll honey I want you know what's that I went to Vegas I suffer eternally not so rich little and our Bob Anderson and they're all phenomenal impressionists and I sat back and I think it was a third of Bob Anderson who used to do the alternate Tony Bennett compression around phenomenal phenomenal impressionist and ... and I and I would first of all it was 200 fucking degrees outside I went this is where I want to go there to say yes yeah I think it was July I got off the bus I was like yeah desert isn't bad among the bar as it is in listening I mean think about it I walked off the bus it was just I don't know he here Adam is neither here do not know the following I you didn no wonder it's I'm going you're just there's the same remove I question well Jim Carrey G. directly and would you say Ugandan boy I can I live in southern Iraq other committee will in the ... have care to be voice but you never had so this is too high there is no no no no so as not to believe all I'm I want to just just the vaginal reasons Paris now we better Bruce Dern and but I twice I broke my leg the worst nagged me that you I ran to it now morale without even stop I went from it is said really you see now you're doing a well one labor and now away during and route we do very the movie slowly brown very nice Sarah you will need for bring this out wait has basically on the word anyway we're going anyway you need limousines in the Latin leaves and no you you know I hear some to a later although we are diverse yeah we have said about it yeah yeah when not we were there yeah my greatest from where is view all came in and I wanna Lara Flynn literally laden than the years driven by I will not well explain loyalty yeah I just drove couldn't find this now yeah in this caller your so to be the greatest I like in the old days as old higher all that stuff if that guy for the young the middle part what a life is this really got one combat and got them all down literally in the really sloppy all day real and don Moreira mom unhook one of the phone second only I'm happy even there so while many line yeah but who since you do movies where there's one take Troy call I got better shit to do I heard that was out Jack but you know I but I was there became so ... read it they they it was very I don't ... the rap do it when they did the movie this is what I've you do a book dean Martin's in a friend sure Sammy Davis Jr and jury last over and one cat well then you how do you tell us how do you find a guy Joey bishop a jury should be at then not logic Sarah so you know Joey bishop and tonight he's on he is a he would be high and enjoyed this then you're watching the show now go Hey there's progress and you know I wonder why it is ladies you're going to let it go crazy for and that's not Joe rainn our yeah I really other shows on NCCU let's address previously so fellows well I'm sure answer is around us voiceover I go right back in their will and impress I mean I don't know you and to you already manages and we're doing everything ... ... you had to pick changed a I live in the first may I go my god as very calm very high and ... Kinison was around and ... people were is like whoa wait a minute as they can needed to be so and and for people who don't know you know crashing look. Tyler it generally income well tough time and they're not they're not they're encouraged home their own person yeah I don't know of course that if I don't remember that one time I was in Vegas when I was in a transit or Danny yeah your pan for James Cagney that's right exactly now so I was in Las Vegas one time I was open and I was at the dune show at the comedy store and that and the ... and it wasn't going over so well I I'm Nnamdi whose mere comedy store hadnt Yahoo I was rob there but not you was rob there I met a man like here's how Larry's by him as well as email banded I think ... and there was a one armed bandits ... on this episode anyway and ... yeah no I was I was playing the dunes in Vegas and I was listening to motivational tapes at the time that was a bad like a big thing back then it's like these these motivation but motivational cassettes in my Walkman and that so I was laying on the bed in my underwear and I'm listening to you are a winner Nnamdi thing comes easily team unity and stuff and see goals and stuff only piece down I fell asleep that way in my and my briefs and I woke up to something rustling over the side of me and I saw what I thought at first in my in a stupor I woke up and I I I thought I saw a cat on the table or something it was something furry on the table but it wasn't on the table the depth perception was off because I was sleeping and suddenly was right in front of me was one of Zhang like that and it was a woman squatting on the floor beside my bed going through my all Venus is squatting on the floor right next to me unlike filter my water yes and I left out of bed through my Sony Walkman music I location but I didn't marry her and I grabbed her and she was and she immediately said I thought you were Frank please send mail for Frank that's their alibi right decisions like nose ring on the repeat 03 call home a hooker and whenever I do know who else was there so I just pushed him to the door and pushed her out to the hall which was open and that apparently there was a guy waiting at the elevator her her and for sure whatever was we had earlier with the door open and that and they took me down to the the mug shot office and I found during the mug shot systems in they said Ali as she works all the hotels it's like you know did you put your dead bolt on and I said I get probably didn't I was listening to motivational tapes dreaming about being so successful splayed out on me on the night stand beside me house I read yeah but I didn't put the ... the deadlock on and they just take the do not disturb signing a peak on a sweatshirt yeah and then maybe she sends growing disease disturb me synergy Edisto disturb this guy and in this for me yeah anyway there's a fantastic story now I can't do it on TV we are now when you decide flock in and you know a commercial and I knew it I mean do you know ... impressions ruin ... I did yeah idea with there was a moment in Vegas than moment Vegas when I saw the impressionists and I said this is Valhalla for impressionist this is where you go this is what the and the game is over and I went I keep this can't be there is a Canadian performer and now and the legion of minions is amazing graze amazing Graham credible but it's not what I wanted so I quit exam Prussians it's not funny now yeah I mean you know I know I when I saw it I think it is funny I think ... Dana Carvey's incredibly fine I saw in this guy's new funny impressions I saw rich little do ... Cary Grant for Cary Grant and everybody Cary grant's table want he's got you down like that and now was the as the end now you do it better than I our they hate you I hate designed ideas with and this is the greatest form them into what in the fuck man yeah is it I guess had your hand yeah before its release here and the rest yeah now the guy in the legend show that the I remember was that her name and I'm doing John Wayne Gacy in the legend you are good now you be in the cloud right ouch it's yachts interchangeable anybody complain with the clown that yeah accord yeah course you wanted to see all the children as a clown makeup and you have a crawl space you bring with you every space is a crawl space yeah your she this isn't I told so it's not so gentle here and see what and right wrestle it will get worse it wasn't the worst part of it wrestling was she's parents Miley wrestling were then as now I have a chance all rights Americans so we had to you know you know this new nose birth date is is by the way joy here is yeah for a little time he talked to me and there's got Albert Finney he was a and I won the first in New York City in the column the grey man the werewolf who Styria the grey man the gray a little less pose yeah raising so they finally done and then he writes yeah he and there is a total yeah not only the for he rebounded really go all day long you just did he make this last a long you know it saved him using the killing for maybe once a you never do you know about years all I ask of you I don't this is do you know about go chill out actual balcony I know welcome to I made all the money on alchemy in those emails as do you know that the story third and ways I mean yes all that stuff none of what I had originally well he's not the race car yes we're out there and ... and so ... you know parallel between is that I'm sorry outcome our chemical is uncertain yeah alchemy it has 33 vertebrae singers 33 years in the life of she has her okay and what it does our sound like a coincidence I okay Suzanne there is there is there is on I substance or liquid or and you know I substance that comes from your men doula which is basically completely looks like me ... are gonna covenant has has an angel's wings around it the whole thing that you would do in the shape now is this where Michael Jackson is called Jesus juice yeah now now no not not to say they won't get the kids into whatever god there now ... they know what is good is that gonna know I am so in this this substance comes from your mid July it's the truth trip down your spine to your say crime which is the which is quick get a dictionary Christ's coming down into human form and if you don't squander that essence that sexual essence it ascends again and goes back up to heaven which is your thing is also the story of Santa Claus why he comes down chimneys because this this juicer this what us whatever substance actually passes what's called the Clow stream which is where they got Santa Claus so it goes notion and back up the tree resolved very freakish so so you believe without a doubt ... if uses that exists in and ... and the form that I believe yeah was that sexual being now I can say that I eyes I think you probably saved you know so he can get clear so he can be sharp not now like Aulie or or just like a fighter are just making it just like Patrick Sexton tricks such as about that it's not being sharpest looking goes via have never been in bed until his knees and spread when I was young maybe you can tell if I'm anywhere close I used to run the track 800 meter full speed right at the end I go I hear you're asking her to restaurant you I don't you were rough character in the water and I didn story different nonna stories I heard stories about nor but you know I'm this is suddenly gone your I have a lot I gotta get you down aware you this is so and I now it's not so Greg Berlanti I don't know midgets it's a yeah sexual on on this is a really about only about it hung if this has anything to do with this I don't relating this wait we are praying and when I'm waiting well I don't think anybody knows anybody knows I'm I Iran and 800 naira afterwards I'd be I'd walk up and the water would and out of the little thing and ... state only one and I get and the water is your turn to do we get colder and colder you know as soon we get colder and colder and which of the wire really college then just let it run that lock ran on that there water she couldn't and why wouldn't anyone near the house a lot a lot which I guess so because you shot it so just who you are one time one time I went in now Nash talking clearly our dream and the little things the water for so for now come out not come which I don't know I well you know when it mixes with the calm waters mixing not on their side as you lose all your while 3 liquid so where does one or not during the he's I thought a little to no and most blow their load around what are some of their reserves yeah I worked on a and we were all right yeah the writers there was one girl who is a so gorgeous but yeah I did and he was a lost art she a all you know see I hope on the right as a result nobody notices and I know they're like writers are I knew I tell and is it really we got find a polemic not all over to I was like well but no one would have been like Ford is wearing a fire no one wanted to look at I is so if you're anything like me you'd rather be doing anything close you know I can't I'm going to all parking crowds don't like going on a endlessly browsing if I could just wear the same tee shirt and forever I actually would because it people think I'm odd so let me tell you that I loved stitch fix men they have reimagine how to find and buy clothes and you never even have to leave the house it's that easy all you do is you gotta step sh and you telling your size you're telling your favorite type of clothes and you tell him how much you wanna spent then your personal stylist gets to work hand picking new clothes for you based I'm your style and your budget 5 items are delivered right to your door you try them on at home and you pay for only why do you keep shaving is free both ways so anything you don't want just send it back and we exchange it you can get their fair monthly quarterly whenever you like it there is no subscription required it's that easy that the shipping is free why not give them a try I promise you this you'll be hooked get started now it's did sh slash nor and you get an extra 25 percent off ditch slash norm 25 percent off when you keep all 5 items in your box set stench slash norm to get started today for those of you not listening stitch slash norm it I yeah it we're back with Jim Carrey here's a thing about Zamudio who doesn't want to do jokes Jan when I do a job well good this is why I love Zmuda billions of because I like how we might change her XXL hot hot hot still all day long we had some limits are allowed to then attach or sex and also into ... staying when I was a lie gasket order your own shows you know I I'm sorry some of these things don't translate when I do them physically but in my mind a fucking supplies into the audience what's inside here you know holy fucking running to the car that's funny you say that because you were then anyone do but what you really sank away if I do something I think I'm making these phases and I look at that moment and made a face at all stroke it's sometimes they're subtle recital first thing to go is his facial expressions and I like this the whole time but I will say this guy of you see in ... ... Kirk Douglas lately but it hasn't hurt his comic time is fucking amazing I like the look whatever they undervalue him regardless you do Kirk Douglas and I'll do what we'll do a scene together in essence is a Kirk Douglas and Burt Lancaster Ohio I went out to war stance is warming are you my commanding officer or use a grunt looks like your grad non listening grunge voice just do that just do the essence O. una just like the glow I see yes we do need the whole part about exiled the great one if you forget how new Brighton remember the ruse during a mile of new impressions and I love getting a dog cookie afterwards James Mason because of his arm Kelly rob there are some nice little people to go you're actually yeah and show a a Steve Martin plays the magic there are guys who are incredibly to you do art there is guys there are there are impression verify there was ... Frank Gorshin primary flight ... that Peter Sellers yourself he wouldn't impressionist though he was a character yeah yeah what areas characters that includes all my whole life growing up here somewhere that's interesting that that in the movie being there when he was doing an impression the entire time of the comedian Stan laurel yes yeah you are record yeah I hope it was as interesting for yeah much for I or do you think of what do they go on strike on the U. erred on the side of the out takes and he's gonna crack on the bottom row will in some good so where do you think you guys are really make movies that are near perfect evening and ... I was just the idea of killing them fuckin face yeah I mean let's not let's say I want to know he owns about let's say a guy you guys who make movies that are good orangey and nobody should be fucking day shot number but let's say gag you don't you says we want to do ... and sergeant Bilko with you stead of Phil silvers but his third time there are readers so you won't I would reach into my pants grab a handful of my own shit and when during their fans that's the obvious answer I think he how do you know who's gonna be shipments of over there is always she hotel Jim I've been trying to Israel's never guess this I try I want I don't stop is this question I always ask people where you yeah here I'm here marriage here he goes where'd you learn when you as a comic where he gets his ideas embarrasses bears in reality here that there's no me so I've been telling you that I don't hero is that it doesn't happen things happen there that I had to do it exactly you have nothing to argue that any other crash nearly all right Donald yeah questionable here in mass OneNote is a name yeah he has a religion yes and nationality yeah hockey team that are out there that's exactly what I always are now talking abstract stalking building blocks that he cobbles together into some sort of pseudo but didn't Nnamdi Jesus there was a Russian woman there's no him why do you think Canadians are so funny wrong known Canadian is only a zone that is colder than here has merger someone's room lying around ensure I don't see you as a as a fan of nationalism knowing more nationalistic person because I'm not a puck in person right but there is a rather even a real person now there is a relative you know manifestation how obviously happening they were all it's pretty fucking convincing at times there so when I crossed the border I have some papers ... papers with your work yeah yeah but you know it I am not gonna like I'm not gonna suddenly are you cross the border in Canada will who was that paid an innocent this is a sign of amazing where you these papers you know still thinks you are where you're talking about vanishing yeah he's not I'm a vanishing physical outfall Jesus aware no Steven didn't Steve did something happen to Susan own Kirk human Kirk did what ... not Steve on who need to record in an instant earner during work as well yeah right yeah he's you want all of us are always desertions and now that was that was ... ... Shadia all that's in your way all is earthly alternative never forbidden and similar to what you're talking to no I have tons shit there's tons of stuff which in Kerry's name on it and ... and there's money in the bank and there's lots of good stuff but did say meaningless relative manifestation by I have nothing to do with it earlier this gem no I don't I don't think I Richard Pryor is 7 years ago 15 right why when Richard Pryor was any key up any hope of 2 years ago I'm I ... Andy Kaufman died before I even was in comedy ... isn't it odd that their greatest comedian and the greatest mmhm whatever you would call that medic committed are performed performance artist comedian lived so long ago and I don't know he's even come close to them then most of them most lost art this is this this is not true but you know what's amazing is that none of it matters a that ultimately no matter what happens in a matter of it another great comedian never comes along it's not gonna fucking matter at all from 500 feet up F. from 5 letter Philadelphia from up parents make and whatever but what little there did you ever Waseca nothing bombs we don't matter at all but this is this is a trip were on and it's fun and it's going to have clear answers headline loans question here on the blue cards given that now you can in a relative sense but their last August that is in our relatives yeah you know I mean even though there's no meaning to her yeah it's a fact why do you think Russia in the 50 years that are ... prior is not gonna clips he cut is ... there hasn't been a comedian that grew up in a brothel and was forced to suck somebody's date because Europe's beaten and lives you know tortured and you know we all come from us a you know comics come from a certain level of torture or abandonment terror whatever you probably a sick mom yeah well I I can pretty much do that because with every comedian that ever lived has a sick mind on things is that the doctor said she won't but since the doctor said she no more I don't not a doctor I said has she do it nobody knows your gentle are ill is your mother I think so by doctors and she is more virus that host at this point yeah nnst gobbledygook NDA virus is the host never worry about maybe it's you know you're the host now now yeah ... when you say most comics come from and I need for parents are you going my god like I want to say to your clients are great command is a great goal not here with me and the people that live in the universe yeah I found it really if they have Leonard Cohen I am such a sick Winterkorn fandom that literally 2 days ago I'm painting liner on I've written here how can I undergo another note painting with that music could n't is an incredible I did one of the dumbest things that I was at lunch and I tell you there is in line and get a goddam common illnesses a club and Leonard Cohen used to go there I you know who he was anywhere beret and online thing as it is loony so he's a poet and that he's really good memory yeah he likes you I'm like that's good I don't think I want to hang out with the Polish and then ... you know you took about 2 years and then I listen ally like holy shit that's a guy in Jesus Nazareno find it holds no fine and then I you know I thought I go Hey I ... women against I want to be his friend to the comic level because our reach out to me cut the fun bag knows he said no yeah you know hole in the grating because you know I mean you get a lot of profits when you're when you're comic when you popular is that I get a lot of people who were like oh my god this guy's like my favorite in loves me it's fantastic feels good and that you know they pop off the movie screen or whatever they become your friend it's unlike literally black and blue from pinch me moments you know but ... but every once in awhile somebody really admire hate your guts Nnamdi guns until you and said okay it's it's it's it's it's the creator of Bugs Bunny he did me now a shock jock general exciting one Chuck Jones hated my does it since the president admitted that her failure and why I believe I usually don't for one minute I still watched real money my whole childhood relying debts and you hated me how we going duck factor exam known only this was later out which was later it was on his deathbed or some last Nnamdi Lee Jones said to me he couldn't sanction lie before the crude I didn't say this in my report work how nice and we did that thing where you're the start I was a star the problem yeah you think do your brothers probably nominal acted with guys who were like a after this for a good movie star did you ever get that now because there is no me either but I made a lot of the guys that Tommy Lee Jones a stock Ali gad Tommy Lee Jones is talking to or thought it was at a restaurant and he and and he and I you know the maitre de Salle Thalia here you work with Tommy Jones he's over in the corner having having dinner ... and ... and I went over and I saw only a great I went over and Seth Hey Toni how you doing like than the blood just drained from his face how quick scene we have together movie and and largest drain from his face any copies started shaking and you got off anyone that I don't like this he must've been in mid to kill in the fantasy here something like that past like Disney went like to hug me said he you a you really don't like you like that in online I said Gee man what's what before what I pulled up a chair which probably wasn't smart and he said I cannot sanction your personal my theory on that would be that he is a famous guy I used to be the center of attention you out in her room he's not that I might even uncomfortable doing that work to that's not really his style of stuff you honey signs like you know we were jazzed jammies cash the check Reds right that's where Harvey dent minutes right west point Margaret answer I just you know you're right yeah threatened next job was a cooking victories yeah solo victories down now get out now near era man is very still young young kids and here ... incredibly funny yeah larded truly criminologist everything so why I'm working so hard incredible acting I tried some well I think you do things in love now it's it's true there's no there's there's no pressure whatsoever I I truly am kind of need this in the universe and I'm just I'm just doing because doing is happening sound and do you find that in a sense you you're afforded this luxury ... not having to work ... gives you more free time to think about this fucking batshit crazy ideas yeah yeah ... yeah you know I gotta go down all kinds of little Edie is a current past some salute yeah I learned a lot and you know I I I truly believe especially if you've made it especially if you become a big thing that you owe it to people to get the fuck out of their faces well you know to get away and not be in their face Eisenhower now run wanting to ... you know sever my right arm to learn how to write with my left and also some people get pissed off they go with a fucking annoying and I'm doing any movies with 0 wrong with you you know and and ... I must learn how to write with the left and then when I do and I got a new trick when I come back and I so this one back on and then they get kind of both you know and then I can show them something different as well as the old thing that I that I still don't mind doing and also do you think like here for movies if they happen in the future will be ... if what you want to I mean if if you want you can have yeah my idea of an artist that has no time for I mean I'm not at a big artist as is colloquially what the fuck is he talking about I have why would you think it would be ... ... dramatic will be your new movie that would be here fort for the rest of your doctor doesn't matter though do you see any distinction between a comedy and a I don't care none of nothing about that I am I just want interesting things that happened what's your favorite little interesting run of one manifestations of consciousness what's your favorite color my favorite movie network patted Johnny you know it is fantastic do every I'm really analogously has enjoyed is is a smorgasbord ... you know I was going on now that I'm a little older to you like you can look back on that movie and seeing you know William Holden and Faye Dunaway in the in the kitchen scene and he sang like I'm closer to the end into the beginning you know for me that has become a real thing with definable features I mean Kerry who writes that that's incredible I mean that's incredible you know so everything I do seems like that is what a great as voices ever ions and wasn't is Stefania yeah powers Stephanie powers person she and no is it all does not have names for it and what I was gonna ask you though was who is the most enlightened person they've ever matters that are I figure that he looked up to and I learned from a near personalized I have a ton of people tennis great teachers just Eckhart is great Eckhart Tolle is great ... it is an innocent how some of them friends was you know them personally yeah I'm personally and ... my good friend of mine Jeff foster who's a young guy and he's really is really gonna perspective on things it's incredible on you should check out his ... dissertation on depression its meaning grandfather Frank super and whining about it his his concept is that the word depressed means depressed that basically are you know depression is your body and natural occurrence rather than you know there's times we have to medicate once dire but they were there I think yeah right World War II we have to medicate because you know you're in trouble but but mostly just understanding that that ... depressed depressed means your body needs depressed from the character that you've been playing in the world and most us walk around with a kit you know we're trying to be yeah appear successful on appear not broken and all those things and we keep that up for awhile and your body goes it's Austria yeah and it just it just takes your legs out from under you and and it's an amazing thing but you know you are a tiny round like crest deep is publicly and hang man at the carrying as there are yes money's well yeah so to //
"2017-09-26 14:00:02"
Tim Allen | Norm Macdonald Live
\\today's show sponsored by ProFlowers well that in here yeah there's another show another then another show absolutely and that is all this stuff in the news lately fake news real nurturer now you know that and you know was who coined the term taking is original I yeah but I don't know it was me always you are yeah you're not saving enough here and ... but now it's the real thing fake news reel the so I thought what I do is click some mountains okay hand you see if you think this is real news are fake no follow you used to jerk off ponds on the greens were a bridge for 15 Bucks a man breaking news now as we are at Sir heart O. for one I wish real news our failures when Neil Young wrote his masterpiece old man I love Neil Young okay plaintive lyrics old man look in my eyes I'm a lot like you the Canadian songster was actually 21 year old severing her latter stage cataracts as well as mass your generation giving his eyes a cloudy bluish room however young's is and would be surgically corrected by the time of the release of the 1971 masterpiece after a couple of Russia real news or say promising real news nope now it's fake news after gold rush was actually used in September of 1970 camber 19 real loser failures Fred Rogers televisions Mister Rogers neighborhood along was rumored to have been a U. S. army sniper in the Korean War with over 28 confirmed kills even his penchant for long sleeve cardigan was described to his hiding tattoos from the eyes of curious little tikes on a TV program then Israel without straight news that that is vague archer Rogers never served in the military and that he was a an ordained a minister in the United Presbyterian church and his tattoos were simple self drawn depictions of the lake of fire from the book of exodus they lose our real names the country powerhouse duo big and rich are they're great yes used to have a third member named John full of cum that made them a trio called big rich and full of cum that's got to be room that's that's got to be I want to be real news tomorrow and that's how real I think it's really all we're gonna check either check that out that seems to read there's there's no way that's not real I've heard that name digression for calm idle rich and full of crap yeah who's our guest ... they were in any who's our guest Tim Allen's dogs to knowing who we found a hell of a great you know little bit when I met him when he yeah I met him when I was the pleasure out of it that's why I hope we have time to go into that and ... how long does that go was before his account of Jesus 22 years or a holy shit so I can afford administration over there during the Eisenhower administration ... have right now and you can only see this is a during the Eisenhower rose jasmine lazy Eisenhower administers yeah yeah well we're joining us they're our our it's invalidate so by our guest tonight Tim Allen and my trusty sidekick ... added me and I don't Morris 10 was always ... I'm communist is a communist good actually good he was in college no I don't the ... but are a lot of readers get into this because Israel and possibly wrote the intro harbinger we your time in the winter of ragtime as yeah wow had struck me right remember McCarthyism each ... the user Eugene was this person de now that was a different character ... one of the largest in Moses first moves McCarthy's Hristo a joker knowing tail gunner Joe tell yeah well so he ... name members a guy you know he wanted names of members of Congress party so that the Congress party members were named and then they couldn't work right they they wouldn't go to jail was an illegal to economist where you couldn't work right now and it was the worst thing in the world nowadays you can say things that people don't like and easily ever right and ... and then and now people go well ... he has the right to say it but we have the right to not to employ him so to me that's you don't have a right you don't have the right if if you if the consequence is that you can't feed exam I was above my eye is on the larger issue that where I have my sister and I argue about religion all the time Mrs you can do well yes or what's the purpose biblically M. philosophy major and what what what is god's will whatever this is what to do you know do the right thing is so you have free will to do the right things as yet but if you don't do what he it's the punishes I that's actually a choice ... this the same thing you know you can hear your opinion is valid but if it doesn't of if it isn't appealing or whatever that we think is then you can be punished for a new have been punished for I think you know I don't I don't know I said them I don't know you know I did say that because I've been so blessed in your life grinding his is nothing more to my life is fine as it would what's what's funny to me is that I'm I'm on a stand up comedian have been that way for quite a long time and work ... ever enter office I do have you know what Leno says you do it you shouldn't fall over the hookers and that show business show business is just turn a profit it remember it is all a prostitution yeah I really like you for awhile then they move on to somebody else and it's not it's just the way they did even if you fall one knows more about show business well and he's a really sad really he doesn't he's he's he's he says we do we are blessed to be comedians does that mean that people come to CO they pay money and you get it there's nobody in the middle of that situation and I I said at one time I was doing an interview for a while both I did on MSNBC which is curious and then did a fox interview and I said it went over the interview are you interviewing the character I'm plan or the guy that who's that I've I am they said they didn't see any difference between that I said I play that's a very different situation you don't interview the Belle Gibson error or revert Harrison Ford is the guy in Blade Runner Mira sometimes they want you to be that opinion and I said my opinion it's always been that way as a standby hate taxes I hated as a stand up comedian I work hard now week by week you get cash in an envelope usually by guys in suits and a surplus of workers think about comedy club straight it is an implicit parasitic able facts but you'd have to pay tax you had this I this we partner and we said the federal government never help me any I didn't I don't know what that was about there that was assist you in comedy clubs what did the government ever do for us is comedians now I lived in when I was a kid it was 4550 percent OR got Iran where for regular big right great appear rich people written 80 percent 80 percent was horrible as just an idea I never that's always been my position as a comedian I don't know why we got into this subject but this never taught Zanardi some dude McCarthy communists and I have this 1 hour I thought because you broke brand of communism that that we're facing now a days where you get fired for it well and leave yeah man actually communism was a sort of a dangerous level now they're like nearby likes it casket we this is this is ... I look at that is it in a museum I hope Jay does my dad store he would eat his most not that I have Imelda not middle the roads are aware but he doesn't he's not magmatic he doesn't get offensive it I do I push some buttons in Vegas when I'm on the road doing comedy jade has said he would you know I was happy yeah ha ha ha he does he just said some about it but the pastor's wife in the kitchen and the whole audience booed you know because it is old woman in the kitchen he goes I know I'm just saying she was in the kitchen rich and as you said this is when it gets like this and even Jerry's had but I'm worried even in his January all the people he's not that way at all ... I'm actually Otto George the right out a window man passed away but he I 2 I do enjoy and it is this is that this is a comic comedy team of vote among the dummy was beat up several times a night you access any any offended someone in the audience so much hurt a guy came up and stabbed the doneness this is like a us money Monday so good that other other Makybe charge he comes to play here other guitarists major ones are watching them and I don't George would show up in every comic would be in that audience school like this I couldn't say that nobody nobody could say with this dude said that he was teens talk that dummy sometimes privately yeah yeah yeah I mean there were doing shows would you shut up dry shut off when they were go go this is kinda creepy I want to just the that W. one time look them just keep keep your hand up my ass to keep my lips moving you shut up he's doing that's going to go hold because I could I bought one of his lines before he passed away what we before it he said I love I exaggerate to clarify and that's really what I do in comedy I you know I try to find he did dig down through the we'd enjoy defines something similar to when we're doing the last man standing we had that their staff would come up basically a group of really a group of liberal writers couple conservatives in there but I said that we've given to do comedy you do comedy it's funny trouble have to laugh at it in Hillary at the time of Hillary's run it we can't be pointed the the one that was very difficult get these guys to say something I wasn't mean spirited towards Hillary or mean towards truck that you have they both have to laugh vada and they just did it it was so you dig down to the December one time they still do this joke about trump Peyton gay guys this alright alright and we we can get in there what is you how do we know that that's true it's common knowledge there well what does that mean well we all know he's the type of guy that doesn't like gay people I went wow that's a little dangerous and that's that McCarthy and you can call the city everybody's that's the way it is as we can't really make a joke about unless I have some semblance of it might actually did he say something ways people said something like that's gonna repeat yeah ... it's like what you say he seems like he seems like the kind of guy who would be that way so that gets because I got I don't think people like the way it looks I think that's all it's about a member summaries that we should have that guy from Canada Trudeau there just because he's handsome men young etcetera me that that's the benchmark rat is if it looks better than it's gotta be better but of course with the devil comes in a violent wind it down nice who really look like so well is that we that you possess the number one book the number one movie ... galaxy quest that ... no is a sense in our closet and I wasn't book in in ... home brew my brother mentioned to he called me up these did you know that in the U. my crack staff no yeah I don't know what to do nobody noticed it and I was alarming because this is what it was Monday you have put up with a New York times bestseller came out that data but of all people you Barry Sonnenfeld summit a copy shop and that he talks like to every talks like today used to be a very tough like Arnold that we have had our our attacks a day in a very thought he brought to my attention that's an amazing occurrence is I never thought of it being like that yeah I never thought of it like that and I should you know that's I have one room in my house I just with my black socks no job like this stare at and I used to be somebody hadn pads never and yeah server before so I know if they don't and I think what's ... Beyonce ahead or somebody want one or ... Jennifer Lopez or somebody was in there that had maybe I'll move out of the it was it quite a bit I don't look at it like that I I said more to most about week you must defend well only because my brother who generally doesn't say anything in the deserts gotta wear nice in winter well even if it is kind of a new well that's my family that's my mother who I went awry when I first moved to Los Angeles and image eyeliner show and we're not a new one idea of anyone else know how you're doing and reading and I read I read on I'm reading on this only 11 early eighties I ever you should do Reba I do as yeah I'm talking about that's what I wanted to work with these don't look good alerts I wasn't trying to recover the O. I'd like still hang out with those guys ecstasy you ruin it would be good it's a good idea and remove it Netflix me a fortune boxed father just didn't think that you have to have you see but I would I would after it is 0 or yeah Roseanne's honestly I thought but that doesn't she like going to Netflix and now I'm just surprised he did it I think is well you know we should but to have all those of strong actor still didn't John died in the yeah sociology are kind of well I'm cool looks isn't do you hit Telecinco that Cleveland is ... room now lots of us is that if you could yeah why the red wings at good literature I read Lange's I understand if they are both well I'm a big hockey fan alone there are big red witch hunt from Detroit I I never put that together Detroit house in Detroit that ... that ... what's a night lance heard her glance Lansing Lansing as excited capital I fear it is home her she had just I passed that part of ... Detroit that's now a lot of fixer uppers most of that and then hear the Lansing or work yeah I do of the I'm the voice of a mission tourism I've been doing that for about 8 years and my family's I've still got a family in Michigan actually originally from Colorado but my family moved to Michigan right there in the right section there is really no that the eserver calmer castle and I realize this but ... because he switches that are greatly mark really is one of the nicest guys yeah ever met still owes me 62 Bucks yeah senator Richard had class right I went from rags to club owners you know number he soon every damn order so sweet but this one is said when I was researching this about how he has always said mark ... we came and saw how close were written and ally store and the improv religious ... for those of you who fears that are not just ... assembly line of stand ups that do 50 minutes scholar showcase query but that mark was one of the first to start this paradigm below dinner middle and headline that true yeah well I'm currently were doing it you know that that was my life amount as I came out showcase I could show Jim a college 20 on the tonight show that arson that was all I ever wanted to do Liza with Jesus you you'd better go getter well around the guy after after you know would prove that I did this is actually a do was terrified story at the time his macauley kept showing up at these clubs in L. A. into the supposed to be here in a whatever time and I do my 8 minutes whatever they needed for TV and I go into my show about my knots or whatever I talk about but is that really not family fare it's non current crises that you can't talk about women's periods or whatever is talking but then he goes as a noble you know here's what to show up at the ice house I did I minutes I in every time he saw me I was back into the routine occurrences well I can't trust you to go I'm not gonna go into that a club on national TV then later I did the day I do home improvement became number ones and the woman is a TV guide I wanted that job you know this area where I see all the overtime goes well the you're already over unit I don't want to be over there one of do stand there do wife does laying in a row over he goes are I think you do stand up I was also excited you out works I go annoy you when you say that yeah whatever that means the curtain opens and there's a cop there's tape over the goddam floor and I don't know where he was to stand by just walked out the curtain kind hit me no back I see booms will not at all yeah not not every day because I sit and way too far back flight when the light and I see all that I've completely game I bought not bomb but nothing hit everything was wrong flatland Johnny's brings we overheard us he leans only goes you've got to be funnier than that I was very young no off when you go to eat and then press said I said no god I did over to stand I did know my glasses on so you can see the market goes in this is the last 4 weeks he was on the air every she come back next Tuesday I came back the next Tuesday or not fresh did the sock killed in that all of that school and got to do it twice Lana said that was it was amazing this experience better if for maybe that was it I came to LA to be the last new comic I Carson yeah because I was right just checking my stride I figured I can I can be the last guy and the college game every time is drunk yeah I need say no and I like it when I'm really drunk I he's necking with a girl Nash so also we hired the girls yeah so she went ahead you know then that's Roseanne here to do that if you but he ... so that he would go then he had this thing goes I promised someone actors so they are as you know I hear a J. comic no on our plaza I do it because I'm a Johnny come I actually said the rumor and meet the ultimate Johnny Carson yeah J. calculators he whispers to me this and that Jay is going to be taken aback I know it's been on a paper for what would I say did did you guys did showcase out here did 8 minute sets if you're on the road I did that's I spent most of my life on the road Wednesday to defend what you get up to the that's huge money my back then to do the headliners at this I can you could live well you dead and I moved out to headline on the road and that's that was if you still need some credits in that whole border 0 for a year as compared to like Jay Leno was July before days before me because he did he worked at the state theatre Kalamazoo I'm still going here Tommy nightmare stories like from and it was like from a different generation yeah it's fun it's not that much older than me I got an autograph from him that he was doing he did a comedy concertina Kalamazoo into which you were went above college and then as are hard to imagine a guy better than him now for what is doing there's nobody had made to literally kit kat someone's that's our members river new comics when I don't know you know and it they make fun of well this is kind of funny because I said I use this analogy ... I there is a couple go there and I ate a kidnapping you get you get I don't I'm not as well will they have star search or was it known will resume then McMahon best start our search I had loads of goods couple comedians on there that tried everything so I decided to try comedy and I get real pissed because I know I've worked a series with those guys couple those well I tried you know pain team the nitrite shoe repair knew they would do a litany of all things yeah finally to settle on stand up and there's a room of people that had to do this or really worked hard in some of these people were pretty good at it yeah and Jenny Jones yeah I just want to get this I did a show with her that yeah that's that's what we did of horror you know comedy they've midden of mid day show in Miami middle of summer and I did the whole act on the diving board have to do it puts people around the full of new wife yeah I was on the diving board sweating but it was to Gyptian I was horrible I mean in the ancient Egypt line of work here Schiller's pictures I've do stay that now in Vegas what is it with the should I don't mean turn injections but I don't mean any indigenous relation problem we have to explain every single thing so people don't go ... of where you're going to be in trouble on Twitter oh yeah go but you had that important question I wanted to ask yeah I was just wondering about on them while I did I I ... then where did you come up with is the character of 1010 ... to tune in Taylor that was literally means that the whole I that I did a show in Akron Ohio for a a Goodyear tire and rubber company can die and up and a Scotch and sirloin night men salesman they're all smoking the demand error though I realize no you listening to what I heard on stage was more well off both pull over we just heard people grunting back and forth on men when they talk about Vietnam so I started just mimicking what I heard as well off ball ha ha ha and literally in mid with yeah the so I added that 2 a but I use to sell guns and ammo a sizzle car parts I love all that stuff and you heard that noise that is exaggerated at exaggerated Oregon and then started talking about clarifying exaggerating Carla I did a lot of that I did about but I did did did U. fills in New York and Rodney had no idea what I was doing because I don't hit below what should go on the internet I start my new Jersey's politics or whatever they did in New York and I was talking about lawn mowers in vehicle maintenance Sears well in New York referring right well that audience it you know because I did there is this mainstream appeal to and I hardly comics were comics did it I mean what are the stories of raw diss everything was 3 different comics that you work there studios what everyone you know you can hear male who all have the full length and it always a potato the beads of Iraq clubs now I shall no matter what you do so I got me a job well I'm gonna with only olive oil glaze in the top so got it club sandwich but what it was you order he was a close Sam I put it on home improvement he could never not respond to the crowd but the scene were doing he's a big data into industrial so in that letter that so I thought I and then the key in the door yeah we would you look out there what do it with please any day indeed each year and I got to know him pretty well is is what I need to who's ever I only heard it ... all I remember is involved is and his heart good yeah you know years old and ... earlier scared heart Cole I'd write so any good co ... Amtrak is wack notably he moved into I know that Detroit relax and now this is Columbia and then Israelis enter as at at so what's the our noses are going to be because that's how you get around you're on the right here everybody was that I think it so you can alright here is a because there is some ever goes well beyond the day and I'll be out I met okay last I think I I was just curious where you get your ideas for that yields characters I'd I realize that because I'm right now room for well you are you have been doing it for I don't know that a while but now I like Vegas so or I should I don't know exactly but 2 or and I'm sort of real I don't really write bids I get a guy character I'd developed did that ever and I go I can't Biden grandma with my it's always always a combination my little one I've characters that's where the exaggerated now when you go out you have to go home for awhile a little bit wanted for one I I never have been a in one of the ironies of my life is that I'd really don't like children mine or anybody else's I'd I've I'm not gonna hurt somehow I will raise my kids is pressing him is like a minor Carrefour it'd be cute I die pretend like I like it they all look exactly the same in me they look they look like a problem they all look like right was a box of rocks mind yours everybody and if they if you don't leave them to classical and traffic they go directly were dangerous dental care do the stupidest animals monkeys are smarter bird sick kids in the nass they kicked him out use 16 they're they're still ... things in order heard is covered her joy was 27 what they did but I said I would try to come up with with bets that I get these a but what is your character well it it really I'd I wish I could tell you because it isn't it isn't a pleasant guy means I'm a bad about every I'm bad about everything I get into a little bit of politics again a little bit of a religion I love religion I buy been going to church since I was a kid you know and about my job that I always says my parents are you gonna go to church that you're 21 like I did neighbor but my dad but when he was alive and I didn't think to my kids except on NFL season yeah how I'll be with you syrups and won't be right there with you but I said the caregiver fill out the the new crown me there so much atheists do I feel it's kind of like a new hack comedy to me it's always been that way I'd I don't I'm not a proponent immune I've studied religion in college I take my kids I that's why I got into physics they say that the chances of this thing happening like by accident nerve is Carmen base life forms out of bed heavy star do Tony immediately that the quantum physics of the it's a very peculiar that were here at all is very peculiar that this work like this and some of these ancient texts especially Jewish texts I give these guys Jews a great credit because of that was a 34 years for the bonus they came up the law from some areas Babylon is blah blah blah but basically without law we need each other you know that human nature is this is I think John Wayne said you can't legislate he said it could be turned from a but very good progressive from Democrat to ... of Republican yeah got pushed by we think and he said lets you can't legislate human behavior you put 30 people in a room Jamal a Buck in a week 2 guys are gonna have all the money that's that's just how it works if people do this this evolution of mankind and I said I've never been like I church was there I got kicked out of more churches because of stupid crap I'd say yeah I think even the bishops that we just don't watch around me literally what is they find someone times the problems with atheism is that really their problems are with church is not your child will listen they go there's no guided because a priest proctor yeah yeah no indictment I said way more and more older daughters atheists I said well philosophically it's a weird it's an irony there too because they just don't believe in god well there has to be a god be not to believe it to my daughters I I I I she's still out there be over the head no I always wonder about that because and and also the a the atheists are usually choosing I got Natalie things and you have to have gone on to other ways leg doctrines believes doesn't believe in a Christian guy I specifically exactly and I said I get the idea to weird there's there's an older than the spiritual side of philosophy will get to this point where this it if god is unlimited which you have to agree began have rationally that's that's what I got how would god ever deal with limited us new it's very difficult every time does try to speak to us that person got killed you know because he said yeah this is great and then people shot and there's only been very few people that actually spoke or had said they spoke directly and they all translate what they heard into human speak and they're generally kinda screwed up somehow worth melody very difficult there's no I used it as I dove there's a mark courthouse or is to be a magician I work with all the time and this is one way analogies for the spiritual life because I guess he did that trip we refer newspaper member web magicians always worked with us with proper acts in any other context probably got improper act and you know a lot of prop bags I like the amazing Jonathan is hysterical I like what you should wear a route that you read the newspaper and then you can hold it yeah I'm on stage on this project ahead because I while I was but then there's no hidden and I you know I I I I couldn't get it going axes to show me that he does not not showing you that if I show it to you through things will happen you go no shit that stupid era then you'll try it and magic will no longer mean anything to me and that's the same thing I buy one day I I was and wonder what it would take profits saw her in that god is imaginary god said listen if I show you what's really going on here you're gonna go now that's stupid there and then you're going to try to tell people and the third thing is you just want to be here anymore this won't be anything so you god did I heard some guy yelling guy ever showed was Joe but I or and then I think ... the profit is like you know Muhammad he they showed him that he wrote it because of that his made his miracle he said to his staff was pregnant too deep in the Gulf hot hot hot I do see if he could rewrite so is it is America was he wrote that their holy book that is a nice guy Ramallah counts really Andy it was a kill for he never he never a pale who's on a which by the way I'm on right now sorry glued no of those only Kitty night never slept about what a feeling above every day but I got it just refined sugar moving the habit and try to find transfer itemize army who I am I've never slept better Malon cookbook cook'n only try to find it inside and they took out everything materialize Angelus aids is thank right everything's a diet everybody's homes are I'm nerene heard the word gluten until 2 years and it was always like I'm still doesn't it it's in his eyes you can remove it only ran around oat bran he ever had them oat bran oat bran he did with that was it ... orange Ruffy member that every member that yeah Scheck but ever that was big it was yeah those huge or drug use everywhere and then somebody wrote kale got a publicist yeah some now so we said what we do with the stuff we usually line it would dribble cage is usually journal however the green stuff in the ... I hate it as a way to end it let's get a publicist a lobbyist we have my manager Rick we see that is a great reckless and he's got you a marine a vast revolve where yeah he's got a marine iguana named Paul or someone who is 40 pound marine iguana will leave one of players a lot of money Israel he go on a its own tail it will eat anything but it won't eat kale eyeball any figure but it just needs a network rail down there you the loser goes spotting discussed ahead of time your brother this ensemble has never going movie el Comino Christmas not a Christmas movie and it's on Netflix a Netflix ... data 10 Melfi who wrote hidden figures road yeah and I was still again I told the audience in Vegas it's coming out don't bring your kids I don't know why they call it el Comino Christmas but it is not is no Santa Claus are okay it's a terrible of character a very deficient guy that you get to know why I'm as bad as I am and it was a very ... pay like we're an FX yeah I don't I don't know I don't know I don't know but Netflix which is there is a broad stab because I've gone through that I'm circling around the same why is that I was on the stand out then I do a little thing on TV then they don't think you're a stand up they think you that thing from the team trust me I don't think that most people I was in Julia Cellini you've discovered me here in California at the ... ice house in Pasadena put me on the air in California my career took office selling out arenas all blah blah I don't think people have any idea that I'm a comedian sometimes I go to these big very specially Canada to a lot of big shows in Canada and I get because I was being home approval is big Santa house we all shot in Canada blah blah blah but I get there I think ago sometimes a crowd looks a bit ago start talking as he loses Chris what the hell's that you're talking about is not for this where's where's Santa Claus bit there are generally very stabber toward rivers to call my wife in an emerald queen November 3 and fourth Las Vegas of course but the wonderful Mariah's little more obviously I'm in those incredible those little league yeah it's great to do great be known Vegas it and you can see ... last man standing is in syndication that's about where it's going to be in on me that even though it will occur matters to a tie with going to CMT at it what is this you couldn't handle this worse and not for me because all survive but there's 190 of us that work there that didn't rather than where they did not around a late June it was being handled very badly to me it was handled badly you know thank goodness you're innocent currently reigning sat several second biggest show why now haven't haven't won a Friday night in 15 years Friday night wanna be put aside the patch on Friday we one Friday big night for us big night for them I would have put Roseanne ever Friday I would put Roseanne after us and that's what I would do is blotch Roseanne watching the show you want users do have a lot show there is nothing out there it's hard it I I have no idea why they do what they do well you know I do more years and years ago when I was young and the Beverly hillbillies Greenacres Mike castle of the other with the top 10 shows because William Paley ... and as ... friends in the upper west side that javaworld comedies were embarrassing unite I made and I think that may be you know what a year later I I always wanted elements les mis stated be like Archie bunker Archie bunker push bowed out it was like that if they push Banja Carol Connor was not that guy at all and I'm I'm a version of that guy but I like I said there's nothing more dangerous to me expression in this climate than a funny ... likable conservative that was the most dangerous thing in that because is mitigated on the show by a family of all women that had different opinions but the guy was a likable guy really was a principal guy just about work in ethics and all the stuff I think there's nothing more dangerous right now than a likeable conservative Karen you well ... Archie bunker to me was by far the most likely I think exactly the more any head hasn't really gotten more angry he got the the better he was that and ice and also the funny guy when he is the guy you're gonna go to right out rather well uses example a time I don't like kids and every time I click a Santa Claus movie sex no no matter how mean I was in these children aside yeah how I like you so much you know St applies still all right in the new meter in order children they're like can they kept coming back and they're the directory gives you gotta stop wherein they seem to care what I DO Smokin cigarettes a whole half the beard off the guy kids because we did this site it's actually my bits we didn't hire and I believe a guy got stuck in Vegas we'd hire the human beings don't grow to for being height I don't know what they're called anymore I'm afraid that all when I was a kid it was called it was called as a child it was called midges images but dog gotten people start we had about that height challenged I don't know what it is like he came to be as did I but the word is game of thrones dude size and that's what I did the best I could come up with a fat we hired real children that and on the set it was Disney east magic it looked like the North Pole I mean we did one of these in ... Vancouver that set was corps jets I mean I do I fill up with the name everything was built the that was when the Canadians were not they were building sets like we built in Los Angeles it's half of it right was real furniture Gloria and it was it these kids wrist would follow me around or what is the elves eat because they didn't get any they couldn't tell so I happen we want to go there is no such thing as Santa Claus so I can't do that so I come up with the I thought who would elves they probably eat reindeer I think 91 of the best I could come up with his reindeer they and why do you like ... Milken could be settled among because it takes the edge off the Jack and coke he told his mother when one of my favorite was we're doing that Jerry Bruckheimer opening in with the periscope and it was a big open the cap to cover the camera comes around catches me the North Pole is under there's a C. 130 with the airforce guys look in it then a Bruckheimer help to set up this big show was great deal and then there's 4 kids behind me that just in the background is that it's always the I came from 7 boys to girls is always the big one little one pension each other there goes that you know I think it is that just Beckham should hit the side who guys guys please come on and then they'd stop that we had this big Israeli PA commit to talk to Jordan he'd shaken and then now you already established these kids so they can't stop this whole thing and then there's the big Pimpin Stallone lip is reversing that doesn't guys doesn't we just that's take 27 I just gotta get around to get me it's open in high do a blink at the camera but the kids right here in your establish again please just just play with the little stupid one as I look at Isabel I ... documentary the of our lives now well gets right here right here were 2 seconds from cut that and then the kid is really and I just want and now the whole set went quiet in here to us and as a set for some animals and all these kids froze and then they had a busy guy he said how do you feel like it's a Swedish word me take a break and it was a horrible if you might learn my lesson break that is you know is it worth it labor's Rosetta break in that so he values I take a break that speaking of to your brain for that he pointed to his head you like to do that I really do you like to doing what only doing this oh yeah or ... we're gonna take a quick break and be right back worse was more Tim Allen what is Amazon as Radu by pro flowers I love surprising people gifts I know I enjoy it when I get sent spontaneous gifts so I made sure to do the same for people in my life so they can feel good as well ProFlowers once held views surprise someone for no reason at all while also surprising you with a special deal for my listeners get 20 percent off of any of their unique summer rose bouquets or any other day of $29 or more their colorful rainbow roses are always a hit if you aren't sure what to send someone bro flower bouquets guaranteed to stay fresh for at least 7 days or your money back and guess what you control the delivery days bro flowers gives you more bloom for your back big beautiful flowers with Mar stands for your money to get 20 percent off summer roses or any other bouquet of $29 or more go to prove use my name ... mac Donald at checkout that's and code mac Donald and code mac Donald don't we waits to make someone's day it's nnsl and now the first online Canada around for hours and counting but I wanted to create an original drug crimes as well because I lived fast incorrect city so I came in there anywhere and ... ... errors I went to mountain rounds next week going and then the next day there was the whole festival was a buzz like something had happened the night before a club soda Raya shariah and ... and ... and and table saw it was Chris Lyman knew of I think it is a key week a new Zealander and he came on I walked there's a real thin part of the backstage kind of gotten appeared to the curtain in his manager was in her as far as I could tell was naked you said not a stool adjusting his sack because it wouldn't fit wears leg was in my god what it looked like he was on a person on a brown paper bag clinical good lord that guy that's horrible it all even people in the cruise going well imagine your surprise you about god what is that he goes and Edie was talking as though nothing was up Chris comes on he said finality gentleman my client Kris lamb and he comes up Buck naked do the act with the guitar did moderately funny stop the Baba blah blah blah and then he goes in for his closing he had put a Roman candle in his rectum and spun around on there's no business like show business the spot around anyway nmhoa little sparkles with that lasted a pulls it out of his rectum I think it is close is chief of the actually I don't know but that's a whole closer he gets off there is smoke is sitting in club soda about flatfoot up so the PPV Chicago people have hot hot hot the whole audience is it like in this movie it wasn't hot was poorer mixed with anxiety and what do I do next commanded out of here is it's alright Nancy what no thank you Chris now old comedian Tim Allen and I was there was no transition no explanation Brad see it was a big moment for me everything was set up and I had to do literally 5 minutes of therapy I know we all saw something terrible we don't have to define ourselves by what happened in our lives is a lot of this I when he came up the sand in the theater the next night he was packed because our buddy heard about this hurt out about me he went up and was fully clothed and so is a manager they did all is a mock up it was a terrifically clever and it was pretty funny wasn't it wasn't remarkable hat and know that growth yeah he came up and did the whole thing in their diet he was nude last night against us our that's is horrible the real revolutionaries but I will say or the year after that I broke then the send any had me is the host and I've often uses vitamins for go on they said ... it is going out to sea be CA United clean up a bit ago list literally I'm an artist he can't excuse me fucking tell me 2 seconds for a goal on that I now it's it's live because I live CBS you cannot say anything I'm so pissed at the time that one just tell me 20 minutes ability to restructure the opening sound like a dirty ages sometimes use basher language so I came out I said welcome got up let's start talking about cock and I went in the hole but love the guy go notice it onto the server on your bathtub so we can talk about get fresh cock in the bathroom but it is not a person out there in Canada doesn't say how bad with some fresh from here in the bathroom we did a whole thing about Brett bad though because I got around you know the next day in a what is the Montreal sawgrass ID said Tim Allen talks cock on stage but they spell it see AJ you out okay so it did make right now reduces the vessels are now they'll a 30 gallon other Sony gallows that was norm Crosby is there that night who I love watch it and how guys not Jesus I heard several boroughs or when you're with the transition from those guys and never that really formula they live under the same guys that I appreciate that you know Milton Berle we don't do the show him he could barely walk he got on stage but we use that as a within the recklezz who just passed where exactly where they're complaining ... is doing to lie like that rather listen to him then you you know known Berle and I let the other guys are he's doing to our user chooses them say brought funny guys amino dubbed I'm I love being part of this brotherhood sisterhood of comet Rosmerta 11 former borough using using all the communities news and say they do longer than that but going I can't read his Jeff Foxworthy's observers laser when Jeff fox William hamburger loudly and so there's kind of this cruel theater where you brought to many times of the world stopping and one more time a good judge of or more down one more time than just because you're a nnova a book of those voters who you know so that I think I was in the middle of the room where one I never saw shaky greener rented under sugar buddy Hackett was really funny iris he was if he was a he he I can't do his voice as I try to eat him allegedly wrote a lot of material and then ... Carson seduced people steal your material I guess I just write fast so they can steal it Rana added it happens and I never thought would happen to me but I mean Karl and I use it go anywhere he when I watch him Steve Martin was really hot for what you different cut you is more hook performers like ... but prior and in concert with 8 days are the best thing I mean I was I was I was hurt and I laughed so hard I mean I never left her my life into my hand up like he was gonna go look at the little hero he had no reason to come close to him not not in a way that he could make he is self effacing about him he was about what it was like he did that nobody did parodied had his European etcetera evil mayhem actor he was so damn fine I like the point you were making earlier about how few stand up specials Comparato yeah colleagues have to do it is an ad is already has one here now 3 with the cassettes do you burn through it I don't know how you'd I don't think it's possible because I did the reality as possible she's quandary over and I don't think you can do it I just does it you did robin could do it because I think they do but that my point was Carl and never wants to see other committees I wanted to come see me because I can't do it because I'm likely to steal some are because I in it Henriksen good happens keep Dada used to be I used to love watching killer nobody timed nobody to this day times jokes better now I stole his timing but as material I watched way nowhere worried we build his in his routines up but Lewis black I like so much they appreciate my wife saw me do a concert nutritious you're starting to do little splatter south as I start to do what I love about him but I know I'm not his material but I was it's jet it that's what we do we mimic a little better yeah cyber it's very difficult not to admire somebody so much you can start doing some of their absolute I didn't hear you from learning Argus Hamilton slow I am sure are so are his told me a great story about Ollie Joe Prader back in the day and I heard he was a he would still on people's jokes I'm doing better than ever then you had to walk on in this movie review would if you're at the bar with all the joining by his shot that means you just did one hear bits on this half will be handed you enjoy it that means that in one year one the jokes just he just did on Carson maybe here we Carolina followed does does a visit well we are not us we are you know I go back where do do all yeah Joe it's they were back and ... ... that's not going to happen don't please don't go yeah the Clinton now was nice enough to stick around and ... ... this is ... my ... trustee ... head writer Steve o'donnell threw for ... ... letterman top 10 list he says here is you know that was it group effort many many people in the blood he was the he was the guy letter seems paragon's letterman and choose your attitudes are other people influence on what I did not know that letterman talks to the ... Paul Shaffer right after he does is allow it I thought that was all a big ... just Atlanta but no of course it was scripted but screw them as a but this guy that I know I think that was had lived actually well let's get our story straight this crisis just go on Serb homes now rather number 22 nnova grow from Steve o'donnell how much he does work tool Toy Story 4 due out in another year so please tell me the buzz Lightyear finally get the fuck Jessie the cowgirl understand technical a question you understand because I to tell you if you see in the picture is smooth and that area like GI Joe yes very much like GI Joe if I was if I was like my body had exceeded says anything I'm not in order that I really know much it's just a story on I know that much about it that's all I wish we didn't say anything hangs woods is he doesn't need they don't touch him because he's really he landed the plane on the Hudson for the lot on that I not a week later is looking for stuff in Paris they need guidance in everything yeah recent buzz Lightyear's going through a transition might be a female ... interest to him being buzzer Elaine Noone knows touches now caches of why do we gotta go there now right away now you have all the jokes is where we do the job gotten the joke surgery just after Rio Joe gravel move paragraphs joke and get rid of the other show I'm not Jay problematic so work joker would you like ... would you like a tent this one seems like it might cover it you know so I should have a little bit when the little PSI just all right blue man group it's a long running off Broadway show in New York men dressed in blue the unseen it very annoying that beat on drums for ever the blue man group is enforced by the federal government to hire an orange man I love purple woman well yeah here verbal what Sarah turn or you know yeah orange man the Purple Heart nnova purple whenever burden the CDC states in only one third of Americans use condoms well 2 thirds of Americans are still pretty cool Gennaro right you still because I just well is this still somebody's choices I have until ever since trump's new policy came in the band foreigner scare flat water because of Donald Trump the den foreigners scared well but well trolls immigration policy that banned foreigner in sand the sun Myung I said that at the laugh factory they get stolen but even still really because I just admitted that I still have when you get about 100 fusing because United player phrase band foreigners like where I learned as I went to a they say curiosity killed a calf but I don't think we should rule at that shifty looking kid next door go I I was raised in a broken home my father was a drunk carpenter Ohio school and so you know some tells me a cock and bull story is a very different meaning in a gay rodeo no this is a this is a goes along with this stuff I I've been doing govern slogans is say that you don't understand where they came from colder than a witch's tit there whoever measured whoever actually got a which down on the grounds that Paul Gimme that tomorrow yeah it's like the freeze enough coke to kill a horse right well the one I got the a bet that Jerry's debts and a Clint Eastwood was in the audience and I did what no one that he like this it when they used to say yeah fuck you and the horse you rode in I don't know that horse is gone let's just I Meg did the livery stable it before we get into yet the students laughing that's good any polygonal but yeah it is often the whole story like you have everything is a claim with the cat out of the bag for god sakes do it jihadi Medicare you know you pay too much would actually cost you an arm and a leg where where did that even come from whatever this rare or near you served time president could bring that I first of all around 600 grams of cocaine your fan was as he said to kill him while boy imprisoned your salaries who I I don't know maybe just heard some its embargo on them as you can invent nnova long we didn American know how hard I have some dignity we're expecting the other words your cocaine I was not expected to do that you brought that up because our goal was good it was really good at his job al-assad's did they tell you know you just learn to pick so Bob with your feet that's all I learned well you bring me a big rock at the man of you and your friends into print outs on demand you do feel better I'm not where does it mention that we're not we're not of course now and I'm has anyone explain why I'm in here no there was a gentle man my nose is empty that is so really your man man that can demand that we now have a and IGN you're the Joe you know I'm happy to help out a friend but the next time my roommate as for help put in sunscreen he better be talking about this back fool me once ... that was for an Amiga why would you include other play guys I'm sorry silent this is a fairly good for you them yeah that's Morris this is a pilot said Sir a person who invented the free cremated and made into frisbees after he died his body was then spread across roofs and poorly maintained backyards I know that's true nnova thing you know is let us like a truck tweet yeah right does make any center was not as easy as pie where they were and ... easy as pie is part you know it's not is is by making them talk in actual pa solicited my kitchen is in how you view your Xing you have lived in I well yes crying over spilled milk they would unless the milk was spilled on your father's fresh corpse right before his funeral too many worries not bad India is known crying over spilled concision yeah gonna tell everyone I tell you piece is I say exaggerate horrified wow or you know this is a tragedy plus time equals comedy visitors Kennametal via yeah here yeah a lot of pro where do you lord sends for 600 grand idea you do feel better Mexico man was arrested for urinating on a family at a Metallica concert goers Adam you get knows skull foreplay bonus you are denying the US at Amiga using the food here is a good thing you're talking things start house saying star when I grew up my family so poor and one of those who didn't have a pot to piss in so we piss in other people's pots we break into houses the dead of night bind people spots and take a giant pissed because we accumulated full bladders promoted their urine all day long waiting for to piss in people's pockets now literally told this as a character that's too long but it's that there's there's similar so me to meet him there it's 2 separate jokes may not be long enough teigen-nude-dujour here there that you know I shoot myself in the foot that's another's expression number here we get here is yeah nothing funny about Nazis you can type in the same night Nazis the only thing about nausea uses right really means that I don't want to shoot myself in the foot but my left big toe is a neo Nazi even worse my big right toe believes that there should be a gender pay gap gender paideia yeah dealers is not funny still has done that time except he did kill the monster style yeah whether Shibley well we do know that yeah I would I mean on area nation guys in prison would take the attack to fuck you on their foreheads pressed still wouldn't go that far right get swastikas everywhere but they they got now that's too much you did what glacial Jordan yeah song yeah well everything that ... rituals in the future Israel maybe just that's where grew I'm the last person I expected it shouldn't Charlie Chaplin Hitler yeah you guys ever did try that what that look to it hello I think Hitler took a from tacita young he was a man of the people we are here button stash before obviously before the great dictator really this picture is not a member that picture thinking about the other headlines member of World War one is a wasn't first notable he was very common knowledge she's a very good to eat isn't very high even exist and I bet you have never met a bigger Hiller buff no ... he is ... revisionist a Holocaust denier nnova you feel better Alyssa is arguing that I know I'm just you know I ... boy no I had a little smile yeah units for Frenchman full ju I'm just saying Stalin everyone overlooks calling him to sing songs you know solid Jim Dobbins word does not third there both tune all know now here we do stay on Hitler what about the opposite of what the Ottomans you get a good that one the automatic Ottoman Empire autumn all we had the honour yeah well how is it that was 4 and that's right very recent isn't yeah how often are the Ottomans would go area and you get the old army also that story about that you that some that they did just a movie there it by thinking about that that was on it's a bit of that about the massacre there are known yeah no dessert is yeah yeah they did a musical about the only is this didn't love of cruise told a murder uniforms unicorns is called a blessing and a group of cows is called my in laws you disputed evidence still okay it is sold at the end yeah I need well you don't like children so this might be an inspiration that you said I don't like you give children you said your last trip that I said it was about as wide of defeat and for a 4 foot tall child really I like hippos unfortunately after measure their bows mouth almost all the children were even what ... this was about the wife and I just sent a 4 foot tall child okay he forged Lee after measure their bows mouth almost all the children were eaten should I go there because I know the Bible says not to covet thy neighbor's wife right possesses a damn thing about covering the neighbor's house and especially his sweetheart fuckin assholes didn sweetheart the headliner just toss all that stuff true do you think about coming doesn't you make a good point norm well what about whoever is using windows you know women the statue of liberty is setting a bad example for young women when times get tough you just can't stand motionless for centuries old retort consider you are going through this valley or wear a dress and people walk rainn right you know the man behind the cameras now on pajamas he won't do it I I'm relieved more of it pay a booster yeah arias artifacts from Ofshe which are set to go on tour hours time you guys won't stop experts believe that this will be Miley Cyrus is darkest opening act yet well this is all I heard I don't do that it's no accident that although get the crowd Walkin out I really let the 2 great Tim Allen experts believe one of the best joke tellers to Harold and I don't know J. or Jay is a man's amazing joke teller J. funniest guy on the planet though is is Martin short yeah Marty short of I can't be around for an Oscar hurts me yeah can't help but isn't he couldn't wear that his eyes and his honesty and we did the view Ian IV or a movie we did together and the first time ever those Wilshire's I mean we we knew we were we were on that ship he so frequently we the whole bit in the makeup trailer about all the theater we done we never because every everything's a theater play mean the Jiminy Glick has so I learned I was delighted that he can say but you know I was on it oracle should do you and his his generous come off one and when I did it hobbies and I can go on his his any wouldn't come out of character and I Sydney but this is all coming here name again who are you these horrible horrible man this every told me ... ... Kristin Meyers somebody said well yeah that's that's ... Martin Marty being Marty yeah yeah ... with so this is going to be the final joke I hold in my hand contact the final joke this was all a plot with its current well he asked for it worth it made Diagon he'd romance you're living in the month of September yeah this is this is the final joke now I'm going to read ahead alright be the head read ahead you know so you get off now all right the new study finds in the bar and before he faces do they wanted him Jo Beverley raise your tellers an early lead on his way in and ... ... so said thank you very much to Tim Allen progressing on where is that you can rooms just brought from home yes most cameras are sick this is a new study finds that men are more likely to blame stress from work is a contributor the poor mental health while women are more likely to jabber on about something nter I shot in the broad and that's a good idea I I to yeah //
"2017-09-19 14:00:05"
Margaret Cho | Norm Macdonald Live
\\okay show sponsored by major box and when I for another 6 Norman down a lime and my trusty sidekick Arab media to my immediate right you will recognize our house your high and it's been one even knew I wanted to ask him great towards lackey buying your time and mine are you know just work I'm glad that we've come back ... it's been great and I were what kind of work to do and I'm still I'm still ... goes to recall the story so welcome storybook gonna Dallas started when I was in the job he had ... who a button and ... fence oppo posts origin workroom nor our plan fire just was very ... army barracks in Iraq where the Tonys where you can store sing yeah I don't do a lot of how I just saw my cow it again it's not an actual store that's just the name it's a it's a well and vote well I know that I like to do over my head is of high AJS of course is indulged my insatiable advertise for history earlier you of those out of course ... I'm now very interested because of it you put me on to this ... this whole thing about the Nazis can you tell me you have a watch more more of this Nazi propaganda where ... where the school idol any reference style what's your name right from stone Lenny rife in stock and I agree with you she is a fine director fine director I recommend the movie Rudy has Larry arrives installed on any comedies but often unaware of no wasn't very good at and what she does and ... and you know what I like about it there's always something new well bringing new new new ideal and video recording of being found yes usually errors dramatic every idea one came out just last week ... ... shot who I think was the Nuremberg rally yes the Nuremberg war rally and such fascinating one because they have so there are very rare recordings you listen very carefully very closely you can hear people speak Jose Luis sailors are tighter and tighter trash around look at the piece of architecture the it's a murder yeah who is I listen very carefully right here do you have the tickets what role are we end me I don't have the tickets you have the ticket this is so embarrassing would lead as it is and how we don't even have that to you you to where you get shot up I can't what role are we in see G. 44 G. 45 jeep 52 what not even sitting together I think we passed to G. section this is section D. she at just find a place and sit down or moving I don't think so they are really strict okay so there it is have had us during our you're right about that you're right about that yeah enjoying to watch the news and I will get a big kick out of the now I don't agree with what the man said I have to that's where you and I part ways but I liked it I like the the scope of it than the big mass I guess not the film I suggested to I told you to watch movie yeah really but I don't know what the fellow's name was but that's not it's just that's in a stadium as well in non combat rooted in Notre Dame that was fine fine Seinfeld and I thank you for there are some things yeah that you will never talked me into and I do not care for that matter when we return a third will be with us Margaret show I our guests tonight wrote these lyrics I ask this song is called my price the mayor's got past Illinois Venice my posts looks so fantastic the opus yes well I better my purpose likes a nice and rob whereas your prize that bad Dan my post so fine that I flaunted as well as your prose is so old it is yeah hunt my purse makes everybody who the opus look somewhat like Bon has 150 into your purse hangs down journey of my posts it must be pretty if it showed who was your opus has its own zip code now the latter my first one the FIFA World Cup it your post makes me sneeze and trauma it my plus the soft my number is rising up from us if dad like they are often those lyrics my guest tonight Margaret and ndem as I gave you an immediate there's ... list and I would then and the high is ... Margaret and I were just get back so you know ... excuse us if we ... if we aren't as good at the I don't want to wake anybody's as well because it's like it's like putting your time on a 9 volt battery designers account for field seats Caffrey and it's accurate yeah yes pennies intertextuality Freitag like pennies out I've been told I like the flavor because of pennies from heaven but yeah I'm not that I'm not saying only inclined as I where I was much more into one of the this is what I and there's a for freezing anal when your tidy yeah meticulous you're cleaning up ... that follows a in Houghton not for well we can't NCCU 8 weeks and what I learned in you should be instead of the word anal usage just to just use the word tidy because what happens is that I'll get out of jail big fella you know with 3 or 4 other bands story house and he's cleaning up his meticulous by golly is say Rocco you seem like an ennobling on now shin and I realize that used hi yeah not a no you know well we did try to explain to yeah not ... ... you're making a point earlier no not in the car talk about you know about it of dad just a whole class I guess you would call because I'm Mr shows like my mom Monty Python yeah it was a big event and so generous in my python was money prize money pie found but did it did you have a sense at that time and that you guys were really it's an honor something ... Monty Python yeah I don't know that in the show the good shareholder called the goons I Mulligan yeah well yeah well really funny spoof comedy hurt no one is ever the calm there is a guy that Sharon and Jack Ernie Kovacs it's too that's all that very cool lake old TV that was very surreal M. but Mr shows also very surreal yeah yeah we did have a sense that something was happening that that we were around something great and that something amazing was in our midst and you know we'd see Weezer in spin magazine as I'm one of the guys had a teacher that he'd written I love Janeane Garofalo on it that's for you know you would think the nineties is like such a vibrant with whom you have that in me at that time an enemy ... prominent on me Iowa Sarah who was no longer in the Saturn I live the old guard was a Saturday and they were all you know you are on a Laura was Jeanine was on right in this era the ESR self reliance on all very we do all her there were all yeah there it was that show was more do I think it was more establishment but we were still involved in that you know you guys still all a part of it in the which is amazing because finally we were seeing like ourselves reflected back in real media such in the Israel and Steve's like SNL in movies and in and I've been at the time of day ever because like ... as well now what about Northern Ireland I think they I mean it shows it's your show and has no it's pretty vast because and so now ... was very structured and and kind of like that since format that it always has done but it's your show was totally surreal totally rock and roll lots of drug humor lots of weird stuff ... on you know my favorite is when David cross is in there hipness is headed to them the bad and you are sure for he's a hot guy Titanic battery did he try to commit suicide but in a vat of acid yeah so he did all the way now so he's just like ... a hot dog and I remember being in the audience and that and I could not believe how funny it was like it was so incredibly ridiculous and I I just laughed so hard so go to Forrest is really funny sketch but they're there and they were so like if I I mean David cross always makes me die laughing gross he so funny you know what I loved about acid now ... over that any ... all turn to show up till then goes on this last known as an alternate shown a camera but that has now and the first to David Letterman show at 1230 we are sure that ever saw on television where everything didn't show in like every other show every other scratching on every other time everything went to hell in a low impact laughter everything that was said lecture SCTV there was sometimes they didn't even have a laugh track going on with that and have a laugh track but I mean if it had not and that it would kill me and ... the only 2 shows I ever saw who the first letter minute the 15 letterman they laughed sometimes did you do it other how many of you did come in that show yeah yeah well I bombed a lot on TV but you just it it sort of was okay you know wasn't part of it although I am banned from The Tonight Show from doing stand up comedy because I switched my set they didn't do what I supposed to do that was like nervous and I had a bomb that I read at a time and then I was like ... I just kept going and I did know to do because I want to and and laugh so I can do sit down I can sit down at the desk and do the interview but I can't do stand up comedy which I did I guess you're here anyway room you're promoted it and you're sitting down right now but I wish that I would want to do stand up comedy like as what to do comedy on letterman but I did stay the sit down interviews which I saw was an actress not a comics are ever got that feeling you know it's yeah and the other problem with with people who were removed at some point in it and I was a stand up because I was on a sit down there that the panel the US the thought of this because Orson being you know they were no matter what saying big raconteur well we come back we will not tire with Orson bean but right they haven't heard Roger by nature by now it seems almost impossible to find snacks that aren't either delicious but 1000000000 calories or boring and tasteless odorless yeah but not anymore artisan you give up your snack game I think let me think about that a lot lately well nature Max can help you major back tears over over 100 snacks that taste good and are actually good for you bar snacks are made from high quality simple ingredients which means no artificial colors no flavor no sweeteners do you feel good about what you're eaten by fair is a white cheddar Carmel pop grown and their crimes are bad review twists are absolutely delicious though Mamie till you know 0 snag and why a minute chat area media munching on there are not a power clusters yeah sure to find your news snag obsession at major Bucks they had new snags never mind inspired by real customer feedback latest food trends and professional chaps it's so suitable just go to nature bugs dice com you choose us next you want and major bugs so deliver them pray to your door and there's no risk there was a bone yeah Vieira tries snag nearer like knowing it power plays it for free new Arab bono line alright now nature box Zaveri norm mac Donald fans 50 percent of your first order when you go to nature slash known as nature box Dutch com slash nor a 50 percent off your first order nature bugs that com slash nor no no no is NMAC with the incomparable the inevitable or they could say Eminem all ... justice complementary ... Margaret shows are gassed and a fire stuff up a color to it in a jar as ... that'd be it it is so low that a ... well also for me to have more you want me to bring up about a super it because ... all her fans ... love super is mia prior whenever I think it's my favorite episode our first up so we were doing was was super involvement in we found out off camera that your brother yeah is worthless see my brother is Fuji food you know it's amazing yeah he's one of like he's like a third generation Fuji so he's now the original Fuji buddies like turn on it later has a Fuji so I'm not sure what number Fuji that said it so he's in he's incompetent is up and he lives in Los Angeles yes and you know super de le socially yes yes conservatives in Salah Fuji hadn I caught up with the money he loves ... everybody that's great and I love stupidity that Susan funny noises character is very he's he's like ... disease still velcro himself to the it myself and I think this is seems like I'd be taxing and he has a we're also saying that your brother works with him and his brother is Albert Brooks and ... I I think they have a little sibling because Albert Brooks was I was looked at as the genius every pearl this whereas ... ... you know ... super Dave is also quite quite intelligible ... mailer that may be looked at as a differently but I soon learned let him out of various but there's an audition or had had special yeah yeah as soon as possible narrow ... I was discovered by Bob Hope you weren't like one of my first television job Seattle members group members young comedians com ... that comedians special so he would have like 5 comics now ... this was every year he would do around Christmas time and you would a cat 5 comics in the year that I did it ... believes data gold Caroline ray remember the other performers but we ... all had cell phones and it was very stressful because you have to do the press junket at Bob hope's house which is filled with portraits of by of clowns by Phyllis Diller always major collector films are now that's amazing show usually circle wasn't really an assault on the senses because it was used by all of these greyhounds and then Bob Hope who is so old he couldn't hear you or see you or talk to you anything but she was still there with him on for the entire day it's very strange and that's we do the show ... then to be in the presence of Bob Hope well he was barely alive but he was just being sort of up pushed around by Linda hope his daughter you know kind carried to places he did sets but they were pieced together because he couldn't remember anything and the whole time you would you would see and hear Linda going tad tad like trying to get him to wake back up because he would kind of fall asleep during the sets and that he actually tried to do comedy and then they would add it all together to make ... it looks like you got a set on a sound stage now with an audience in round what year was that that was about 9 I guess 9089 while ... and that was the time period and ... the first when I watch a watch did a JJ Abrams house use now that that big director Star Wars and lots of other produces a lot of things that is so I would watch it it to his house that's how long ago was people get together and what was the mood was of the Christmas type of a show it was a Christmas type show I remember that it was like a holiday exams and then it was a big deal he got picked to be on a genre because there was like different degrees of success you could have like you could be like a star search comedian which I also was or you could be an evening at the improv mediator keep a letter comply I think he was like a letter meet ... or you could be a young comedians special comedian yeah yeah how did you fare on star search not very well because I was not allowed to do regular star search I do star search international so he's so you we did start searching irrational the longer the bushman who a bill bush bush who is the bushmen kaput shirt is from Africa Walter that Seattle but yeah I'm not that I'm aware of okay this is much more international yes I think I had lost you Jim tolerate he was from me London and me which climb up on his cello he played the upright bass wouldn't.not tell upright bass into climb up on it and play and then also competing Jerry but not over the other did not jazz committed ... he's Canadian on but he was a huge representing India hot so ... I was officially Korea for whatever reason but I didn't win nbspyou back at my my ... manager on them choice at all I wanna do starsurge he's no this isn't a NASA Sir surge that pays $1000000 Edwin but to live a lie but then you only had to do one round instead of yeah rule even entire season so actually kinda worked out better yeah but you ... after you've already lost to new your last name you'd have to come back and face the face the music and I remember when we got a room I got a room at the sportsman you live as well ... for star search eurozone yeah yeah we were to realize genet Jeanine Graf look came over she added we we spend the night in the room nice school it was there is a lot long run news over at the sportsman's lodge who don Knotts O. yes known as big a lie was to the ladies on the ... ... 3's company they go to the small council John Ritter leans faithful to his wife and so those rumors and Richard kind was it it wasn't a player but don Knotts platoon and so don Knotts berry lines to the big lines to the what they call the bimbo office of the week you know it's just a beautiful girl so we come to the show ... when nobody was looking he put ... some booze on their their beer goes yeah funny face I but they say the girls go it's ... I'm married doping well is and then determine the sportsman's lodge Bob Hope but they're allowed to he likes to swim I only knew it better I went there run Bob Hope with and within the laugher starsurge I also did down to show there was Steve Allen when he no and he is very very old there and Jack had a pottery around backstage wanting to get a ride home very strange at that age he was he was really nice it was just odd to see in that data I mean not there yeah they really should do so has them at some point I yeah realization that put down but ... I scrutinize students see love Jackie Mason but it was the last time I saw him is just like a wax figure right and wrong yeah because I loved it when he made a comeback in the so fun and that yeah that that that here is not very good person but I don't care but is as actor that day discovery adventure and ... by the event I you know I sure as we get more and more yet ash and ... hot to where is this a mac canter up that very hard to understand but still the real the may 11 that there is a big job was at the time your cross border you could not bring pride use I'm but that was already had aids so it's an area that you wait a second you with the aids the disease in her body that you could spread that kill people the modern day plague so the big bargains and orange cash your dad was that was the you murder columnist this wasn't his blue car there's a jet fighter and he isn't best so he wrote a lot of different kinds as staff land but one of them was jokes Ennead and different homes and different things you do radio shows he still does to some extent he's a writer and Salah financier to cover service yes a younger player mother who has but not as his very country Israeli she so show business Sheila is shown that she loves to be on a TV she loves it reality shows we did like celebrity wife swap USA I I she wanted to train me Hollywood yeah they they they do am I yeah that's great do it's your it's our it might almost up to our own we should Littler will know you're here how yeah we're no I ... yeah my momma I'm almost showbiz to hopefully one day I'll be able to earlier manner yeah here it's like you're staring into my soul knobs while 200 no I was an inner house just as an aside and what's the next question or do you want to question you can think of one yourself auto F. 25 is for you to call well you know one interview where I was supposed to happen not ... ... we took a couple years often not dolls for it's a Pang of guilt for those who you back through the telling jokes awesome with the great and ... pioneering continues today on us enough new issue Margaret Charo right today show is brought to you by week except with a C. we do have a great glass of wine it enhances the moment whether you're reflecting on the day or with someone you love there were no arrest someone you love anymore after last night she took it why and how we can understand this Israeli well wink with us your what you like about wink norm it's why they started their coming to give you access to exceptional winds around the world to you can have more of those moments where Taiwan early just go ahead try has of the seat with the city try way T. R. why you're one of the wind and sea yeah wink will recommend a distinct and interesting wine half well Caroline Mason soca actually customized your palate this is a pallet profile quiz and find out your but your palate sure we can only do that with the quizzes that profiles your palate none of them is the only clear is we have to profile your palate is the proud profile file quiz so and then afterwards of course is will be shipped directly to my door to door every door any do any tour that I choose not of your time is wasted fitting in a run to the store on your way home from work although not very none of your time is wasted being outdoor thank god it is just sit near chair no time no more time spent guessing what you might like those days are over because when could decide for you weight base is the winds they send you on your taste preferences wink will even introduce you to new rare and custom why ends that are not available anywhere else and they will tell you the story behind each one this story I know you not listen the store object you can just drag yeah I enjoy sending wind to people as a gift for their birthdays or holidays but I never made a huge wine drinker myself and so I end up blindly buying bottles for other people wink changed all of that for me because they held me pego delicious bottles of wine with labels that are unique works of art knows no membership fees for this skip anyone you want cancel anytime weekends a 100 percent satisfaction guarantee costly endeavor for you never paid for by you know nothing Jon and right now wink with the city zafran listeners $20 off your first order when you go to trial slash nor let's try wink no T. R. why W. I. N. C. .com slash no arm to get $20 off your first order try slash nor so we're gonna live mirrored over 2 years ago one thing has remained consistent throughout yeah jokes so we're gonna do some jokes with ... the us a rather troublesome thing I've got to ... ... address this was an ... that to me is stressing to figurative incidents isis hunting permit if it's not mine I don't know it's not it's not mine whether or not it's years you're defending it earlier when we talked about just now I said what does this mean even ISOS hunting permit everyone would want to kill ISIS milieu said no no I would want to kill isis I don't know I think I think you're where you search now norms I'm saying that first so it doesn't make sense but when I set eyes on serving time in a nice letter trying I was that way why not me in the eyes upon impairment does that mean that this is supposed to him as some sort of red necked ... then yeah it seems like it would be on why would resume their redneck thing watches seems typical of something you'd see on the back for be rationalized but now everyone wanna kill isis you know as you say I ... that it's just the thing is is that somebody would use that as permission to kill Muslims just ... because they couldn't differentiate right wing who is I says why we did not say a months long hunting well because it ... they sort of look at all Muslims as being nice you know that's the problem with people wanting writing also Muslims for America and they think that they are all part of ice when in truth that not right now crash at all yes you know ... it's like saying ... someone like Timothy McVeigh is all Christians yeah I've read some bulldozers or anywhere else I know honors re well spoken the point I don't we found a sigh from my dressing I don't have a dressing room blue skies on my dresser who were toddlers you hear what yes I agree with with everything Marc rich or so 0 person yes I mean I don't I don't ... disagree I think isis is terrible absolute and everybody here here listed for her on in particular I am a lot of ... rage towards however somebody would take this ... in the wrong way I mean somebody would look at this and think of it as permission to kill all muscles which is sort of a sentiment that's that's going around in conservative circles which is not the right way to look at ... mouse in the near yeah it's like after 911 people were shooting ... ... seeks for ... people from India nothing had nothing to do now it it's just this unawareness of ... cigarettes people who are different from them not even different in our hands and I like cancer my friend's name but he said his biggest fear yeah I that ISIS or some ... terrorists you're black mass we get a hold of a dirty bomb ... exploded over major city within the United States who and kill tens of millions of people because then the blow back against innocent Muslims would be absolutely terrible yes that's right that's true but those 2 subjects while Josh now this is a great Jones I think classic Joe this may have been written by whose is new boy that I've taken quite a now how gay interest to laugh thigh up why Scott black black and as I really like is black ... and ... Syria thing in this jungle you just speakers jogged out loud into that camera Europe to read Harry casual I'm taking a fascinating class struggle user comic timing and delivery again taking a fascinating class all about the Hollywood freeway no it's called one a one one I want phenomenon one little job that's as clear as I hear that miss Mrs Donald J. trump fresh from a plagiarism scandal is has a different kind of heat a racy photo spread from 95 is a merged with photos of melania trump line nude in a bed is another naked modeling razor behind just below her breasts which are fully exposed another photo shows the other naked model in sheer stockings a low cut bustier and high heels raising a quip as if preparing to spank malattia who pretends to re coil Jeez who does well I think she is Mamie Eisenhower the crowds in Brazil greeter arriving Olympians and signs reading a welcome to hell imagine their local chamber of commerce really needs to brush up on the basics I have so is your job that's all it's funny when I found because he is when he started he sucked of jokes and no one like that but is again live better better yeah okay just say that camera right ... there's no hard evidence of flossing helps your teeth March scientists now say though they add it is a great activity for people who enjoy tedious repetitious drudgery some of them someone has gotten better you have a stumble that wasn't great now is good news effects because no jokes good when when the responses that was good in Lee laughter foa what about New York City apparently horsemen here has ... taken over New York City ... how about that little in the terrible memories is Joe for the great Margaret show the heat wave striking a New York City this week has led to piles of horse manure to spontaneously combust so for the first time in history you can explain why New York City smells like a flaming pile of course tomorrow for all we Maritza pulled out you right through jokes to I have my mom was a drug addict so we had a lot of could then she baked but you know our secret was love if Texas induced love yeah the nnova you should read ahead on this one but I think this would be a good job for TBS well you're reading ahead though CBS is developing a notorious B. I. G. inspired comedy series which I guess explains their new slogan TBS fucking dog shit for summer 0 say that kids and TV as a phone you say we're interested in what's that enough ... and who last week even pope Francis paid a somber visit to Boschwitz which surprised me because I thought he was one of those fun ghosts a see dead in my in my time they died NTSA retire you know we go back to their first love yeah Jesus mmhm August 4 is the biz a birthday of the great poet Percy Shelley thank shelling and jazz great Louis Armstrong who doesn't like Louis Armstrong when I do that yeah but it's not personal ads seemed tired took would you know time in the day and age related to the Lizzie Borden grabbed the accident or best Paul Bunyan impression leaving her father and stepmother is heads like hot grapefruits because their skulls were split with such precision it is believed her parents were asleep and therefore didn't suffer so they say Nnamdi ... summarize wasn't a joke yeah but what about this is the actual job okay technically ... approved it yeah I I know not the most attractive when women look at me I can tell there are you know you're not the most attractive man I don't know the most attractive man in the world but when we look you know you're not but as evidence ... alright granted this is to support of any others I don't know try no not the most attractive man in the world and where we want to leave me until they're over dressing me with their eyes Nnamdi earlier get good one read ... like doing homeless guy jokes like those 9 they really need to be made fun of ... do you guys talk he'd read all those fans Ono bono the user is going to go into a pile just for for use on on the net because I'm having trouble during the war on drug my cousin got a Purple Heart during the war on drugs skin after he ... tragically overdosed on cocaine O. Nnamdi no no who who will burn means I while 9 last time when I was in an orgy it was me my I pad my laptop in TV while my phone watches for a comment really he has a smart comment Terry coming no I was raised Catholic people find out the house assume some creepy priest involved you know but they never suspected and you can Nnamdi but ... we raise in a broken home I heard that from somebody has I was I was raised in a broken home my father was a drunk carpet but the you n't jokes and now you really were a little girl and they were there any who who made you laugh for a buddy movies and that is all I ask for flip Wilson flip Wilson show by Allie after if you care getting about him shall the day we all do that we do that all the ... you know ... fee to the L. blows in the wind high of local no I'm afraid she cannot hear heard you must have heard one of pages albums where she's incredibly dirty charter yourself funny umpire guys dolomite ring out hello layers shot of love the law because those guys they were playing and is it legal ... speak right so they whatever the hell they want we don't I really don't know no I wasn't shall as in the sink the Chinese exchanged I'm all for they sort it's of my fair lady with all of my since I learned to be part of the community I watch that Los Ripley harm done 0 I read the book you wrote about do you like the process of writing a book I think I like it so much I want to take you know that was a long time right yeah I told them I can do in the air and the fact is 3 years I threw everything away 430 as Linux use and so I wouldn't rewrite any I've burned flesh he burned it burn the paper was yeah he's a computer he just burn papers burn all day reserve I wouldn't leave behind his eyes scraps of ... little clever lines and and but iOS it's finally coming out of and I have to get my ... American citizenship owe you haven't got that told that it good and I need to nor I can win the National Book Award well now now you need I needed but it takes I thought it short I've never been on top of trends I guess you know when everybody was burning CD's I was still burning books German burning CD's for yeah yeah on their computers knows like making mix tapes various little for I heard about it terrible thing you'd never hear about the guy that burned the qu'ran I heard about a guy he made on his computer 1000 different word documents of the cramped like that PDF's but he deleted all of them ... it's and yeah he was ... ... Rivera take a break but you were telling me before the show a story about a sad pizza that you know me yeah you're friends with the sad pizza how did you know that that's and the pizza was so sad I mean have you heard of the sad pizza now cuts itself gosh no that is thank you for making us laugh for so long and yet for so long and if you thank you at a meager thanks for nothing nnova back next week it's //
"2017-09-12 14:00:01"
Rich Little | Norm Macdonald Live
\\they show sponsored by upside travel and stitch picks me well the main show for me Jenny excited I'm excited rich little my hero as a child some of the national arts center in Ottawa Ontario we'll get that with a great man gets here speaking of getting here where's my trusty sidekick Gabinius he's always late lately his lately late when he's taking liberties with this program is what I think yes just to ask correct no it's my phone I that'll be yeah yeah down all I am but a minor speaker so as not to exclude you thank you and I mean that you're on speaker but Jenny and no harm by Adam or are hello good morning Leon sand yeah hard rocker yeah community you have given to the show no where Kim made here and are just incredibly ill oh listen to our listeners that's bad news good don't worry because I have the solution I'm gonna get a little riff volunteers out but what I do whenever I get sick I make love with my wife you should try that I earlier perhaps alright I'm sure yeah for good yeah Dee Dee Dee OB find somebody does have a significant other mmhm you know what that means how it where I'll note that well 2:00 hours Jenny he has the left side of my head looking right about ... action still kinda worried though because still no sign that immediate tell me I mean yeah I'm just not allowed speaker because he might say something ... have immediate how are you are you feeling any better how no click he says he's feeling better and also and I have a lovely bedroom I mean that I mean yes I or amber is again and my wife's a slander slash tourney woman 9 sorry to hear that that there were it's a word slash certainly I she's a dish water that would never why is that he is feeling better fall our yeah rich little it's going to be a because ... rich was the ... first entertainer I ever saw in my life railing mutant you don't get around much well I was only a boy and now my mother who I talked to this morning is very excited about the inner asked me if you're doing impression her favorite impression that you do now Charlotte Whitton well might go we shouldnt alliance is she blows in Ottawa she lives on auto to learn well sure everywhere well yeah Charlotte Clinton probably will you know people come up to me from Canada remember me ... you from years and years ago and asked me to do Charlotte Wetton John Diefenbaker Esther Pearson and I am on that still such a long time ago and of course none of the American audience know any these because my courage to do it for my son I wouldn't I could do it ... well Charlotte wouldn't talk like dish Richard I you're useless I I want to chop down this creek Braben action will chop down together Jewish Amaravati hurt ya yeah right here a friend and I did chop this tree down it was rather somber place yeah and and we did chop his tree death one and as for chopping my friend says my dad is working for her opponent let let's have it fall on the house and we didn't but we thought about it Nnamdi spelling now when I was a young boy is what we would do yeah we all idolized rich little tomorrow and so we would run around doing impressions of people we did now you know that you had done and ... so we would do John Diefenbaker however the line you did was some people say I look like now but how about I I don't care frankly I wish I don't give a hoot yeah yeah he did look like absolutely look like and how yeah you worked on the Judy Garland show yes at what age ... and my other early twenties so this must have been incredibly intimidating well it was a big step for me on I mean I've been on television and in Canada and a and a lot of clubs in Canada but good television was there in Canada well there was alot Glover's luncheon dangerous a lot of variety shows in Toronto now my gosh Tommy Ambrose and Joan Fairfax and and ... and a lot of shows and and canton Messrs jubilee as John Nash's jubilee and ... gosh Jon I did a lot of those shows in Canada hot Mel Torme our came to Toronto and down the golden fog known the velvet file that fog and I ... I did a television show with him and he was a huge movie buff I mean you know everything about movies and so we loved me because I was doing impressions of Glen for it and you know people had never been done before and also William Holden that Dana Andrews William Holden well what his satellite when you have the greatest voices ever I William Holden we have not meshed you on my we have not match that my splendor thing yeah it's a hard voice mine anyway hopeful he loved Ali's character actors and we were trying to break before the show you also are an incredible movie buff yourself well yeah I I watch a lot of movies in the buff but yeah I'm I I've always been I mean I have a collection of movies at home I must have a couple of 0 movies blouse yeah well I've man gently trusty sidekick yeah huh and immediate we love Phil Norris O. I love film yeah I watch all the the asphalt jungle is prior favorite underling Hades did you ever do Signorelli did Charlotte longhaired hours Darling Hebert's sterling Hayden and gala cannibal voice of doom solid on one plane you know each other like they should have hardly ever got excited and I'm gonna do my impression of sterling Hayden laughing want to say it again does character yeah sure go and ... and Mel knew them all and so he put all these voices I think you've put about 30 on a tape and I he played it for Judy Garland to get me on the garlic showed wasn't that generous yeah what he he was going to be doing special musical opened jarriel for Judy on her show so he was going right from that show we did in Toronto to work on the garlic Shawnee took this tape with them and play Judy this tape of me doing all these impressions and she was not impressed really know she said I don't like impersonators actually she said it stronger than that but I won't tell you what you really sad but Tom she did not like impersonators and Mel thought but listen he's doing Dennis weaver is doing Alfred Hitchcock Fred McMurray my gosh this guy's different she said I'm not impressed now all of a sudden the tape is still going she heard my James Mason and she went while far away that again and so we did and she loved James Mason because you made that Starz barn with and out that's how I got on the early show she was in the middle son impression because of the because of the chimes Mizell impression that listen to me ask them Makuria is a curious thing challenges on them off you know yours a decisive timer alive for a single counting points or recognize him the big shots when it comes along and cropping yeah that was the speech I did from stardom yeah and then I then looked down a few years after that I saw James Mason at American film institute tribute in LA and I was invited I think they were they were honoring a John Huston and there was James Mason so I went up to chafe Smith a certain and I said Mister Mason I'm recital and I do an impression of you and you want one generous for sound on her way Shawnna any lies I just want to thank you for getting on the Judy Garland show new I don't know what you're talking about move away from the Soviet that wasn't the John Houston have anything to say harm Gyeongju sure not all John Hugh I've made a film with John Jewish German or Russian well well what and dived back to let him live shots and I got to know why I'm John Houston quite well and Orson was terrific indoor air greatest loyalties are never really source and one of the best voices there was one H. so funny because I'm I made this movie called the other side of the wind with Orson Welles I was never finished lap and still sitting in the can somewhere but anyway we filmed it in Phoenix and there I was suddenly in my late twenties working with John Hewson ... hello Orson Welles why was thrilled who directed this horse abortion or an artist and John played a part and I played his assistant and anyway I I'm member one day we went to Denny's for lunch it no I think and quit the first of all Larson said I don't think we can go down a squeeze I don't think I can fit him to one of the movie and he said Johnson would you will wait your way up so anyway we went we waged Orson yeah this booth fast and we were having lunch at Denny's and and how bad a lady recognized because I've done a lot of television shirt and short of you gentlemen are all she did know with these 2 Guiomar Carson that Yahoo I don't watch TV while they were just 2 elderly gentleman I have no one is very directors of all time one of the great actors directors of half time this for her and so she can just that guy who's in charge and Mr level can I have your I'm sitting there with these 2 icons on I'm going of course yeah nmhoa yet this summer to pass them riding a big thing on here they're watching and then she's kneeling down and that's I'm signing she says and I kinda loud voice who shouldn't who who's your fat friend Orson right Hoosier offenders are and while I don't we found along the highway and you look on Google and we brought him in here for a cherry coke should fry and we're going to fatten about him on his way nor assume that thank you kind Sir and that's true whose area that friend who is your hero title for your blog right it's called little by little and others are cruising it and it's fascinating because by god you met everybody well I've I've been very fortunate to have worked with a lot of the great sin let me ask you about that movie pose a problem which one are you there was never relents ... ... the other side of the wind does other work yeah now do you feel that if you had not been an impersonator you would try to be an actor full time while I did try to be an actor I started out ... and auto you know it's a little theater I know there's a lot of the enemies lot of plays and I really want to be an actor because I was such a movie buff but I have ... then I started doing impressions and that sort of caught on and then I said to myself wait a minute there's only about 10 impersonators in the world on their supply 50000 actors so I think I'll be in a person of good you know I do you see the Joan rivers document I saw it and she was so frustrated that she could be an actress not I felt the same way I'm like you're so funny why would you wanna why would you want to compete with all these people you know when your house exactly Polaris which she was she did you want to become an ashes series actress amber yeah I mean a couple of movies as usual and of dark measures putting on a play that you really want to be taken seriously and ... but I agree with you why when you're that is what I wanted to ask you when you began yeah I love you as a kid but who you love was there were no impersonators rather well yes there were impersonators ahead of me there Frank Gorshin was a little ahead of me a little little bent and no George Kirby share a little bit ... he was to help me when you're a kid will Jordan it's all of them look like him Hey he was ahead in our area are kept out when I was a kid ... I'm trying to think a Larry Storch from F. true that he was alive perhaps I think I think he is still alive yeah I'm trying to think well I wanna allot of people did impressions that you don't think about like Debbie Reynolds doses impression on and ... Sheila macrae member her half court and she did impressions arm but you're right it when I was a little yeah I'm not sure I remember really any impression us I don't know you were at the top doing personal the most famous impressionist in the world famous most famous impressions that ever lived boom I I don't think maybe Harris poll I don't know about that how would I do a bit more road vehicles whom ... who what I pick I'm not the best left most famous out most famous I'm well the answer is rich little ... crew you thinks the best of the news Gorshin while I think ... Garson was pretty good ... you know he had his voice as I had mine he was now do you feel Gorshin reserve a physical actor like when he out Gorshin he was an actor is by had the bodies yeah I'm Gorshin Frank Gorshin was the first person I thaw who did did an active where you get serious things and I hope I hope you did a scene from Camelot and he did a serious speech from the movie most impersonators before that we're just comics yeah one liners yeah and if you try to did you ever try them what we have to suffering Gorshin did you ever yes yes you have not had a big influence on me and then I started to do speeches from movies on more serious thing he would do Camelot do Richard Burton whole speech and then a song by Burton and that was very oppressive I never seen that before right because when you think about impressions went because one let's say me and my trusty sidekick atomi gonna talk about movies will memorize ... you know big debts from a good godfather from Nashville Chicago and doomed each other and it's very funny we don't do any put me jokes at work bush is fun yeah as it is fun to do Hideo shadow where talking earlier about how in your day or not before your day actually because you're young man they're older that kid that actors who nowadays would probably character actors where stars right love her Bogart Edward G. Robinson James Cagney Cagney the John Wayne outlandish voices now and larger than life larger than life yeah easy easy to impersonate is America's today ... it's harder because the actors today are not as exaggerated Ryan and you've got George Clooney and you've got Todd Damon and Brad Pitt I mean how would you imitate Brad Pitt I would know where that is yeah yeah play abroad outside rather do and you'll be delayed to tell you the truth Laffer yeah I'd end up jumping my I wouldn't be lonely nnova ... but Brad Pitt would be hard to do yeah what about the first day is and how it's a movie I don't really know the history you're in your twenties right you move to Los Angeles California right I came down to do the garland showing my Rambler I drove down a ramp took me 6 days catalogs is that sunsets discrepancy route 66 ... probably yeah yeah well this was 1964 I ramble everado I'd Terry Largent just kind of yeah how yeah yeah yeah my little green card yeah yeah yeah yeah I came down to do the garland show and never went back never and so the garland show ran for how long ... well I did 11 show and I think it ran good why general for it what 3 she's so I'm sorry you just did 1 show I did 1 show you move to Los Angeles knowing that well no right after I get the garland show ... that that went over so well that I suddenly got offers to appear in la clubs and other television show yeah right after the guy on the show I did the Steve Allen show I did the Donald o'connor show I did ... Jack Benny I'm you know I get a lot of shows right after we would love to hear an anecdote about Mister Jack manning well I love Jack Benny and then isn't there was a sweet man gentle man kind man and he was not staging now but he I am it was a little finicky though in a in on his way see with everything he did was typical Jack Benny and he'd say to me branch did you play the Palmer how ocearch Chicago I said yes I get Jeff you know I love working there I love to play the palm I supplied Jack well the towels are short fluff but no answer I can hardly get them on my suitcase but I don't want ... that's away Jack little things metal up to him I member one time he was on the tonight show and then he said to me after wretch are you going to join us at the commissary for dinner and ice at the commissary at that NBC said yeah so why the commissary wow they've got though greatest check on sale I mean that's fabulous that's the only reason I did the show tonight from us again apple grabbed a famous you know so that and so we all went down to the commissary to get this soup they hatched raving by different dress in my book and we all filed down there right the commissary was close and Jackson idea I want to check them so it's close keep banging or bang on the door and there's nobody there and finally this this lady those cleaning up lettuce and we raided the icebox and found the shoe and then Richard they heated up with gamers cups of this shoe we laughed were walking back in Oakdale our cars and we passed where they were shooting the Lucille Ball show hung in the red light was on and Jack one ready and and and walk right on stage where she was doing a scene and you said to Lucy you have got a private room I managed just fine athletes have you ever tried it up the common sense she said Jack we're trying to do a show I know but and he started did pass the shop around to the audience and the audience for drinking yeah they finished it and judge it we gotta go back this is all in my book that I'm as funny funny story about that we do tell that story yeah Jack Benny is so funny and your impression of him but he's saying nothing funny you know if it was anyone else there were no there's no there's no jokes partisan just such an incredibly just on a yes you are reading this thing it's a thing about your life yeah that somebody gave but I I did not know that's my favorite performer of all time is DDR yeah and you performed on the Dean Martin show 24 times 24 titles on that game mark Rocio hunt or the roasts on the road grocer credible work that they were great I don't like today's roast know that today's rose are very very blue and a lot and they will you know who they are don't know who each other and I think they're funny yeah and I'm not on a new look at those old ones everyone else goes O. Roeser great but the biggest stars you are receiving your biggest stars ever yeah that was yeah you're racking to haul my gosh weapon early garish ion nerve wracking that and hosting the tonight show's was the most pressure I've ever had on me in my life but you know those rose ... more terrifying to do because I mean a lot of people are watching out high rated show like that but it's not only that you were standing up there in front of the giants of show business I mean if you could look down here right here to your left you might get panicky because you'd see Lucille Ball and John Wayne Orson Welles and Jack Benny George burns and the it just one on on the me the best the best of the best and I'm thinking to myself I'm just a kid from Ottawa what a wino you know there was this due to the to the they are great to ... ... friendship with Dean Martin are what you may have not had that that day Margot tract is it cold yeah started so yeah that he was very popular and the show is popular now so he had the best of the best on you know and I think one of the reasons I did to show why it's the main reason why as if I could imitate 3 or more people sitting on the dais and then they booked me on because you know if you watch those as soon as I start to limit imitate data Johnny Carson or John Wayne they cut them see their reaction you know yeah and ... they always did that so I ended up doing and I think 24 hello there's a thing with impersonators where somebody nobody can do it guys and then some really cracked the code and then everybody yeah did not I mean yeah because they listen to the impression exactly why I don't think anyone in down Bravo before Dave Thomas and now that's right that seems like a sort of an easy impression did like Bob Hope I wanted yeah yeah I just flow longer doing London dual command performance for Queen Elizabeth in the royal family they ran out of ushers but I want to was sort of speed with with Bob and then yeah because a right and I want to tell you I shook hands with so many blue blobs my fingers slipped like my toast during the Great Depression station yeah I mean stupid stuff trailer and we all laughed then when you did impressions of comedian did you then because you just said he had this read them yeah and so forth and then did you pick up on that and use it in your own comedy and between the impression well yeah you know as a comedian it's timing and undermining us via as a something that if you don't have you know I mean it was terrifying yourself slip in and a guy named I actually don't have like one time I did a show I can't remember where years and years ago and I want to do Spiro Agnew remember surely the president of the college annnnd I was named blogs I wasn't thinking and I set it all up Spiro Agnew and I did Gerald Ford's voice from afar and the audience didn't know that there yeah said anything that with the flowers of the nattering nabobs of negativism nattering nabobs of yeah negatives as a great big given not low enough politician I'm a liar haunted the discrepancies promulgated by those who closed their eyes to the pernicious influence of the spirit of masochism encourage quite a feat core of the Indian is smaller Farrakhan America here is the words but he would like Howard Cosell was cara because ... Howard wish to and loves so it has a not only actors but the of the politicians the because as a sportscaster there're outsize characters oh yeah Howard Cosell I only counts and amazing right chef you can't speak in my voice 2004 hours a day there's no dead great dub greatness you got not obtain in the world of shell I love that trails up at the end right yeah yeah the thrill of on the subtleties I never noticed that movie James Mason where there's you know there's all subtleties in your version of you we we hear bunch James Mason and we've done and and you get the little subtleties that you don't pick up on I love that clearly this is my house Americans living area we do do you know when I last from the version I did how how how how is larger than life I remember one time we get to show in Rochester New York and ... he did to somewhere else I was doing my show at a theatre and we met at the airport the next day and he offered to give me a ride back to New York and he has super jet plane half and they sent him a prop plane the weapon then yeah so loosely but man is when he saw this plainly yellow made that sound wave a superstar like me on my mother's brought millions tell them that works and I am greeted by a prop plane disgusting there so we drove trails off the prop plane and I did not enter the viral yeah I got a lot I Thera ruffle any feathers and we're going to pre very upset with you over a particular impression well ... I don't think so aren't known not to even Nixon I'm a friend of his ... said that he used to watch your next used to watch me on television about it was quite funny name maybe didn't know I was doing and I don't have you know but that that surprises me yeah I was pretty tough on him but what is inside story with the demise of a giant cars what happened there you were there yeah where everyone well that's I I I don't know what happened really I tried to find I would good find out why I was a noble come the show after ... per year are now hearing on it 20 times and hosting it about 20 times and then all of a sudden I was a notebook and ... obviously because is sensitive man well I don't know whether it was him or what it was Freddie decordova ... about ... as somebody took something I said the wrong way I was put on a list of people not booked on the tonight show and I found out later that that list was about 200 names on know how of people that were no books and not hurt a lot because that show hope really helped me but I don't think it was Johnny because even though I wasn't booked on the show I ended up doing our ... charity of that with Johnny and he was very nice to me and very friendly and then the last time I saw him after he retired I saman a restaurant in Malibu any came up to me and ... you know this is about 6 or 7 years after he retired I said rich on are you are you still going we have your act and I said of course Chuck I'm doing you every night in my act really get your people remember me perhaps I should of course they do what I do I don't use I have let on television for about 7 years I thought maybe you know you were doing yeah John you ear you're still popular you always be popular people live theater on ash you're not just just try to make me feel good you you really are doing maniac a bush so insecure hats are yeah their houses interesting you and us is on the senator John Harrison every column jog 7 guys are closer to home would come on John which you just do it yeah residual because it gave you the other way around relate ... unless people that no one column John and I just heard you well much like John not try fee ... if he called me and what you did Richie or it's Bobby and car you know and then if he liked you election yeah and yeah but I never noticed that that's interesting John yeah did you ... when you began did you open for what you do when you began to hear over the first big singers and so forth while ... I open in Las Vegas at the sands hotel in 1965 with Jack Jones who I just saw at the Smith center our nights how and that is sounding great on still great but I open for Jack Jones said he saw the coverage my first parents share Las Vegas right now or right after the garland Joe wives and lovers yeah no the isolator song hear that song lollipops and roses and the love boat the love that's what I know and the whole well boom soon won't be mad came down not all of the room I love that he wasn't allowed I money from that alive these guys Pauline commit a lot of money from the tonight show what yeah sure yeah yeah boy he must've I'm composing that song and listen to compose the fame in case you don't know when I started doing comedy was in Iowa probably close to where where do you want honest child ... yuk yuks was the beacon arms hotel beacon arms on my gosh truffle while that hotel there was we were underneath that we get good crowds and I was pretty easy work up stairs on the first floor there was a big guy conference room and a young man and looked out for himself he performed it only for 4 or 5 people we go up and watch it without it is crazy that is like that Republican or some but he is very talented it is all in this family and the next time I saw was and I'm ... wasn't ... less Angelus he said I'm you know rich little likes me and that he brought me to Las Vegas really Gordon brown Gordie brown yeah yeah yeah I'm Alice is Gordy is terrific and won a great impersonator here and here you by you I put him on the show because Tommy Cassie though things from a lot of news from Ottawa and apparently came to see me at the arts center when he missed by 15 any sat in the front row and half way through my act he turned to his father said that's what I'm going to be who are very cool where I went to see at the arts center yeah and ... I play I said now I'll just be a damn I said I'll be above did did you pay but yeah did you say parents etcetera couple these are just questions from the internet but the a lot of bad what they're how but they know this is a question here's a clip from your questions 0 Spirito there be questions on this program aria I'm sure inferred that there would be you did not yeah speech from the treasure of the Sierra Madre her favorite fellow right and of the great poetry Bogart and one of his greatest roles ever as a friend she'd job frenzy Dowd's hi Fred she jobs don't shine not made domain I don't be such a slap why did you over grow up alright I'll make it clear to what John had like you we took a wholly owned lands good vision head up north to leave the old jackass flats afraid she'd jobs don't shy not don't my I love the last night NBER a yeah I don't know great movie how do these children the laugh n't laughed at that and saying we will both be with gray hair when the when the Mexicans were down and looked at her look will bogie was great when he pay played somebody a little paranoid like okay Newton yeah said was very same character here they both were incredibly paranoid yeah paranoid one was shot finding the golden merely wish strawberry issues I've great movies on yeah they don't make movies like that soon though so you know it's so funny on I mean I would say Bob is you would not even care about the movie you just go I mean this as a John Wayne movie and well yeah I'm gonna watch anyway no matter how matter what he was yeah anything Genghis Khan will let the senator I but you're right you're right you know it's so funny kids today arm like the movies of today and I don't think there is good and I say to them ... you should see some of the great black on white movies are tantalized gender Roger there was there was some some killer I'm I met here who's going to UNLV taking a course in and and found that and I should have you seen the classics you know treasured shall Audre Citizen Kane Casablanca Ono I never watch a black and white movie alright you're taking a course in movies you never seen a black and white movie a hit new look this is said to me well I don't like them because Lifeson caller so then I thought for a second I should really what if you live in Seattle what what's nighttime it certainly doesn't hollered like this not necessarily for a night it's not known the shadows all yeah shadow will you know what I I ask Claire Trevor about that member her from the forties very barely from the Alfred Hitchcock presents yeah she'd known anyway ... and she said several Nawar you know ... was all shadows sooner light and darkness and she said that happened because they didn't spend money on light or half paradigm many layers while show they just shot it with those dark in the darkened now it now movie Hannah's heart and it came about they didn't have yes I never knew that I liked yeah we were of us remembered I like Phil who are that they have their own ... star system did you know sometimes a big guys show up jarred them out of the past you don't mention or but Robert Ryan all of your so mom real guys you know yeah or seemingly yeah Robert Mitchum at your measurements right there yeah there's a sleepy John Robert Mitchum was a little bit like caroling in my own way uses that he didn't care didn't care yeah yeah but store owners see dean's attitude was ... I get the job done I go play golf for like to watch old western some nah anything seriously when I was when I would watch her loose American I'd I like the part I did not care for Jerry Lewis my one of my favorite stories of dean it's in the book is on and this is true ... we're going to do a roast at the MGM grand bright this and we're all in the green room and that's where the fun was in the green room for the yeah yeah because you're having coffee with Orson Welles and she'll Balin Jack Benny here marriage is such a thing yeah and then Greg garrison that produce preserved okay guys are going to start shooting in 2 minutes so a let's make our way to the data so we walked towards the dais audiences there doesn't Los Angeles out right here throws a Vegas yeah so we walked towards the day is going to be 2 minutes from more on the air and as for walking there dean is right next to me and dean says to me wretch who are we honoring tonight I said what's that adhesion Yahoo Peugeot guests of honor my I says Michael Landon all NASA good push always highlight them we're going to have some fun another words here we were 2 ministra taping on they don't know who the honor would right he probably would have found no 18 when the show started in this the cards were there anyway worry here are my 2 water yeah my homeland more yeah Gee that's a good short care the rose that they had Jim Martin a famous drinker but then there are not a hospital room her reply of larger group behavior 0 how you go out and then I wish she was so drunk machine guns same 8 you know I mean he was funny wasn't a wall is that I have to know where to go Mister are you know he try for inanity could get it so it goes for another yeah this could well the ones on the house on the market rose a player that played characters were foster Brooks catalysts Jonathan winners and Charlie Callas yeah we're always playing like so not true is ... drill instructor our I don't you know John winners who was ... us Frank's teacher at school entirely and they they always played somebody here says American nature American long battle Josh's works with I'm tired from his little league and they can have my actual skill yeah he was funny Damasio dar's starting with the hometown of foster Brooks yeah gosh Jimmy dean that's televised thing is the deed might be sitting there laughing a reversal of money when they broke up all right outside yeah yeah yeah yeah everybody like Cain and what else when you think of it as a whole is whole character was it was based on somebody you didn't know what they were doing right and so when he screwed up which he did a lot her hair it was funnier than if you don't I I don't mean to my show if you come see me at the trop who Jack Kilby at the Tropicana and there is that where you are always on here for years Tropicana went home come and sit on Harry beverage little yeah but anyway so show clips from another words I and my act now I'm doing sort of a history of my career and I show up clips of from from very show so I do George burns on them I show me with George burns some I do John Wayne and I show me with John then I showed dean Martin's show me with Dean Martin is a less what I do in the shots of me and I show one clip of ... Dan trying to read the words on the cue card and holy law everybody got up to try and save and the place is bad luck and I mean you wouldn't believe the ad libbing in the people that got out every now and then it was all over dean looked into the camera now all I was rehearsing now your honor this I missed that I missed that data era and Vegas where the stars were a red fox and ... and buddy Hackett and I'm sure as shit don't fucking Johnny Tama and then to lead the life that was don Rickles in the lounge in regards to the landing on edge ... and would you good ever Jackie Leonard toady Fayyad Jackie Liza fat Jagland now so you toady few toady fails so it would you go and just oh yeah under roe yeah what do you do in those days was we were going to see a show right and then after we'd all go to the lounge and see a lot of great performers in the lounge there and then about 2:00 in the morning then we go get Chinese food at the at the house that they ... desert and are aware sands and have we gone forum the morning so you are seeing this city changed dramatically terms of entertainment yeah for the worse yeah well you know I and now it seems to be chefs seem to be the fat now could put up pictures of chefs can hurt her brilliant up before that women were not wearing those that's a show you know yeah yeah over at the Tropicana right now they have chef on the side of the building for restaurant that's not even belt the all wise it's a restaurant I managed you know show I'm so no no that's what draws me loves to people go to clubs rather than they're going to closures yeah and ... you know the marquees now have things like roast beef 895 on instead of game Martin Frank Sinatra great stars of the forties and fifties act now now I as an impersonator like I said you ... guests and Gordon brown was kind of a progenitors and ... rich reveille no one is traveling yeah we we lost in Tucson last yeah he was what a great I had him a couple times but also that sadly and ... you can kind of did the he did a fantastic impression that I always loved it was ... Charles Bronson during a cat food commercial yeah so you say a Catholic to for you to know that I I have a hot commodity like how such a great really greatly written yeah there was a guy named Johnny darkly get love our hand are he did he did Charles Bronson to yeah commercial really take does your breasts theme park ugly Joe blow steam ride this toothpaste you know have I I did oppression but that Charles cry I sadly Charles brown how near the end of his life when he had Alzheimer's and it was kind of sad and I remember ... it that ID end was near because we were sitting there in the 8 everybody's desert yeah so I wanna love art yeah friend of mine told me that they why he was a writer in Hollywood and he said ... we why George burns to do the TV show George burns is very old and I said need another ... where we hung out the Holly you know them Tennyson I don't know where rich people go free play bridge there every day so my friend this writer is arsonist twice and it went the picture showed a and I told him he's on the top in this game still funny and I still funny and ... if you had a lunch with them and he looked over and ... ... George burns was buttering his own hand how wherever the great rich little momentarily there is never load is sponsored by upside travel if you travel for business like I do you know it's a game of wins and losses have an open seat next year on your flight her person Friday reclining the seat that's a lot big loss buying your business driven when it's not just a win triple triple let me explain why number one upside is the absolute best available presents for flights hotels and rental cars when number 2 I'm side Moore you with the gift part card to places like every time you buy a business trip that's annoying number 3 the amazing 6 star treatment you'll get from upsides customer service specialist what they call navigator how many stars they made that upset thoughtful conspire that's one more than recently a navigator knows an upside user was booked in a middle seat on a 3 hour plus flight the high so the navigator new upgraded here to an aisle seat with more legroom that's pretty 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then gets to work hand picking new clothes for you based on your style and your budget 5 items are delivered right to your door if you have a door I tried them on at home after the incident and you only pay or what you keep shipping is free both ways so anything you know why I just send it back and exchanges are always free to you can get your fix Zalman quotation mark practically here that's so yeah hold on okay go on you can't really get your fix you can get your fat rhino like yeah that's a plan where it's monthly quarterly or whenever you feel like there is no subscription required it's easy the shipping is free H1N1 try I promise you'll be hooked lyrics art get started now ads bitch slash norm and you'll get an extra 25 per well when you keep all 5 items in your box that stood slash norm to get started today stitch slash no harm we are back with that Liane Emina ball which is a stranger I guess it was kind of a strange what does that mean it will often unable to emigrate yeah you're gonna watch it every so ... the inevitable I have rich little and was I just about to ask what we just talked about I for gray hair loss have Ronald Reagan do you fly that you do impressions of people and the people that our beloved like Ronald Reagan right ... when you would get a better response oh yeah yeah that's why a Reagan on Johnny Carson on you know I deem Martin are so popular say like them rather you know and I love the voice and I love the voice yeah yeah and the guys that run around Jack Benny I mean they just love Jack and they love George do when you just say the word George burns people start the last half and yet many would like when you're doing I watch the show I was laughing he never says anything fun and like it's not it's funny no John punctual is no Juno no joke it's exceptional know that it can get elaboration yeah yeah and ... but your Ronald Reagan is so amazing and well I'm here so you started with well that's when I started just nothing but well and then I change now what do I say I you know when I first met Ronald Reagan ... ... somebody had told me if you're doing Reagan start with well he always starts every sense of the well and make sure you look down before you speak and then raise your head and to Ronald Reagan so say ... whale and looked down so Reagan asked me the first time I met him he said I wish how did how did you get me down I said well ha ha ha ha and then I said I looked down and I said Mister president why is it you all wish look down before you speak and he said very simple I I wish to own a horse ranch all he was very quickly yeah funny yeah it's amazing I want you know we did impressions for me once regulator that the White House he did his impression of Jimmy Stewart how you know as everybody does who can't read you do on why Wall Curie were far from drummer bill our and I thought to myself Mister president don't give up your day yeah this is not that great but anyway then you just John Wayne which was fair now we did Truman Capote for me president Reagan ringing true insurable you plug and it wasn't bad it was knows it better too Ronald Reagan doing Germans well while he said in a rush twentieth what do you think of my true my ability I said well Mister president I said I think it's your best I mean of all the voices I've just heard that you have that this is great he said yes but I I don't have a line I don't have a joke and I said well I've got one I'll give it to you which you you give me a line I should of course well this is wonderful and you got a secret service man he got a piece of paper and you start to write to choke out on his back the ship which the joke and I said while the joker's first must present yeah I did Truman Capote in you know and a lot of people think that I am road in cold blood but that's not true actually I rode in ink yeah but okay now regular first off I was Jewish terrible right Julie's writing this down in the handwriting is getting jerking his he's laughing what is what I wrote her name Kenny's wrote this down and he took the paper and put it in his pocket new chef British can I use that I show of course shatters sterically shit I can't wait to try that out on Gorbachev from but it certainly will allow then I think him later tried that out on Gorbachev hi lo doing Truman Capote for Gorbachev I mean I would have given any of mine yeah Mr Mr general secretary all I have to say as well you know why people think that I would put it at that ass and cruise jobs going but I got there Gorbachev's going what dead dog to jump on you have only got a 2 couple deep what I don't know if you understood what you do is dead but you didn't do your Truman Capote impression which was spot on then you did Ronald Reagan during treatment but do you understand you're doing that known his do it now did you notice that yeah house pretty Amanda showdown that badly know are doing is that you were you were doing it badly you're doing it as Ronald Reagan was arrested yeah there was a way having a lot of people team yeah yeah yeah yeah who didn't have broken that ruling scenarios trying Rivera was some kind as recently killing Reagan's Armitage and keep killing right now don't you Delaware Irish book yeah and I edition for national earthquake of me doing Reagan will you be a perfect ancient off I'm I was about the right age and I I you know it's my best impression and I sent them a tape of me doing his farewell speech to the nation and the reply back was ... we enjoyed your speech but we're going to hire an actor from well it's all things that's good I didn't watch it but I am not considering the person and actor which is ridiculous well I've done a lot of acting I mean you know but right now I feel anywhere on impersonation my god I mean whether what is that it's not acting yeah well I didn't see the show but then I died but I'm yeah here type gas that's the real one we don't want that what a great part for me I don't like yeah that would be incredible now and but I did you meet John Wayne also yes the neighbors is so remote figure I met John Wayne ... the first time I met him he was on last fan and our rabbits outfit imagine what are you doing and if that was a crazy show there he wasn't as rabbit out of a and the we had to get to the airport so we took a rabbit out fed off and ... they were saying goodbye to lime and ... and I happen to be standing in the back of the hallway and I never met him before and I was on all of them and you notice me and recognize me and he said well yeah hell over here so I over I said yes Mister Wayne it is so I hear you the other one impression on me I hear you are doing why walk let's see I do it for me I god dammit I'm losing it so I said why don't do my walk for me so I did John ways bokeh all got back and I went right across the set did John ways walk and he's looking at me as I'm doing it right and he says well I finished he said well what's how I do it my god I'm going to walk on like Loretta young for 30 years ask well the second a little in a family that 90 is walk was very feminine little then I'm all right we're going to end this thank you so much for being with us who's a joy and always great fun I understand there and if this is going to be a great shot we're gonna we're going to take you out I'm gonna it it's //
"2017-09-05 14:00:09"
Caitlyn Jenner | Norm Macdonald Live
\\ //
"2017-08-31 17:00:47"
Dollar Shave Club Outtakes
\\the guy that does the yeah you know you don't see her younger nowadays but number one when I use my DSE executive razor when I use my DSE executive Bruiser with doctor Carvey's yeah it and what is right and right is my idea see executive razor with doctor Kirby shave brought home alright is why DSE executive razor comes with their doctor Carvey shape now and why is my idea see executive razor with their doctor carvers shave Bonner when I use my idea see executive razor with their doctor carver shave but of the blade just gently glides over but for a limited time new members get their first month of the executive razor not with a tube of not not not not not not and then but soon with the sugar and water Paul dear god in your first month box again awesome weighty handle full cassette of 4 cartridges and of course troop of their Shea butter after first month replacement cartridges ship automatically at the regular price that correct Ndamukong sparrow some //
"2017-08-29 14:00:01"
Jerry Seinfeld | Norm Macdonald Live
\\today that was there is Brad here by media undies bone branched dollar shave club and texture this advisors Brad do by dollar shave club getting great shape at a great price conveniently delivered right to your door I know you've done it and I know you like alone it it's an awesome life hack and what that means is a no brainer choice no longer have to schlep to the store to buy a cheap disposable razor that will give you a cheap disposable raises and I use my DSE executive razor wit third doctor carvers shame minor a boa the blade just gently glides given me such Smoot share their doctor carvers shave butter which is really really what we're looking for transparent for more precise shade helps prevent ingrown hairs here though the worst and fights razor bumps I personally use dollar shave club because I like my face to be as smooth as grapes can you too can make the smarter choice by joining dollars have never enjoyed I did join you too can make a smarter choice by joining dollar shave club just like Anna her limited time new members get their first month of the executive Razer went to move their doctor primers shame butter for only $5 free shipping after that raises are just few Bucks a month the $15 value 5 Bucks in your first month box where you get your an awesome weighty handle full cassette of 4 cartridges and a tube of their shame battleship honor that that's your first month replacement cartridges ship automatically at the regular price and there are no hidden fees no commitments you can cancel anytime you like you can only get us up at dollar shave slash norm dollar shave slash your thing every number while you go there is the greatest think of all time thanks Seinfeld we created the greatest did you know then of all time Iranians in Paris thank you who drank coffee ideas with us for the full hour but there is time that's a Larry King Arthur Russell for versus Larry can you never you never take from their ... from your predecessors sure whom I don't use or take form would prefer influence in for via I saw this guy ... because when I was reading ... rollingstone I go my god we we were greatly influenced by Gatemouth brown so I'm not going to stand out right and next door there is a basement said tonight Gatemouth brown lego down by 8 people in the audience guys the greatest guitarists I've ever seen in my life Santangelo area you know about the rolling stones really say the he from then on the internet no money there once they have the money well because the influence them I know if you the greatest guitar full time make your own money now so who influenced you boozer Gregory hang yes I miss about Larry King yes it's just in there it's 9:00 you look at your watch it's there and you don't think we want to see Larry King though but the dots I felt the black with those colored dots it made a very nice here is to keep the TV you want the king the background place move meatball of people like TV is a place medium if people like the place they like the show who the people are not as important as the place this is my theory of TV it's also my theory of why sports are so popular on TV because it's just that airy open outside environment that looks nice on your wall that's my theory I saw some of the stuff I've got a lot more who is your serious influence in comedy mine Robert Klein how I took everything from Robert Klein he was the guy when you start well wishes that he was that first guy that you saw hate this guy's come like me there you know and that's what you need to get you gone what who did you see that went yeah I'm kinda like that maybe I could do that ... nobody ... where comedians in Canada when you're a kid will Americans ... you must have seen somebody by let Bob Hope I thought he was the greatest man that ever I think Bill Cosby is the biggest command although there yeah them I don't think anyone will ever match his production and quality of material new do you like Bill Cosby humble because Anna did you listen to those records in Eureka we were a song you know I had the maybe the greatest bill Cosby's story ever really announced on the top 10000 yeah ha ha ha ha ha ha because I'll tell people the story right now constantly be interrupted by and then did it they rape you I either here or rape me and it had nothing to do with the story how much are you bothered by the fact that this comedian who you really thought was great turns out to be this person doing horrible things the guy you have a do you separate his work from the person has attained at all nada not because ... let all this because what I don't know if I don't do however I don't know nothing about his own followers but ... you hear Hank ... they tell yeah rape is on the other he did well and said okay would you give a good god damn when you give a round yeah I would that's pretty bad through a big difference in Iraq differ crime saga not toiler store Lindbergh here's army was guilty of that a lot of people don't know yeah he was deep yeah now I that's not a crime now but it's true yeah but that doesn't affect that makes that a man makes it even better does her understand that see I think if you could hear his music will be better yeah I probably would that universe is ... one but these committees that have some god damn horrible affliction and then come up and talk to member of that haven't been on stage or in live stage so some multiple sclerosis muscular dystrophy sunlight that yeah and then they rule over here and there makes you feel uneasy ton comfortable and it hurts timing yeah with Helen the thing but I when you get a guy close to you like that yeah I I don't excel and those type situations no knife and I feel very bad about myself sure maybe more than any other time that is what I'm taught dealing with someone with an affliction and ... and I'm not sure what I'm so close as like if you're walking down the sidewalk in the somebody coming the other way in a wheelchair yeah do you have a look or do you so I know I'm gonna act normal sure he wants me to act normal how do you what do you do well I tried I look at the guy and I hope to god my face isn't making all kinds of which but I like to hedge my bets I don't wanna norm so all look out on but all of it Scoular something really wrong with the same joke horizontal into the same job fair and that's a cop that's comedy rule right there I shattered but he does have a question for you great I did my trusty sidekick data mean that by the way who runs the world hands down his arm chooses the comics so how do you manage to do this at the same time it's if you must chose a bunch of millions of analyzing leaves and you make the trip now you to at which time the ice is your first Norma Donna live in New York yeah so we have the fancy a skyline backdrop and instead are great yeah well yeah de do you ever work at the ... powers Sir I know they ... Missy didn't like me last June care for me yeah I just for I wanted to know about I wanted to hear about that your your history with the store I I was there a few months ago and you popped in with Sebastian yeah I think was your first time on stage there since the night bash 79 yeah saying and cat who was the last man to start let's say you got it have managed how ... is going by that as well so yeah energy so do you have a question though yeah I wanted I wanted to hear about your a little bit about your history with the store Mitzi in particular well look not everybody hits it off for him you know and we just didn't hit it off I was a very ... independent fellow men in those days a lot of comedians as you know prayer have that ... broken winged bird thing about them and I was not one of those people still not not damage now not that the damage type you're a bird on a wire right yeah I'm the ego well known in there and even when I was young I had that attitude yeah and then I hear the ego have you see a bird with a whole wing broken wing boat either on it yeah yeah I know anyway down south now so I remember the I had a meeting with her and I asked how come you know now where are you in your career at this time just a few years then but I was pretty good I came New York and ... I audition there and I did while and then I put it for spots as you do and I think I would get like one spot in Westwood in than men and I kept putting in putting an end no spots in the vet's I asked her for a meeting and she told me that ... didn't didn't care for my additive your attitude on stage no maybe I think as a person your attitude offstage yeah yeah that's 5 everyone's entitled to that you sure it was one of the greatest benefits to my career of anything that ever happened to me because it made me very angry and very hard working them motivated yeah I have a very motivated after that I think I'll psychotic LA to perform at the comedy store every night that's why move there right much like a breakup or something where just you wanna it yeah revenge yeah yeah yeah he now jammed up the the the hotel next door I'd survive then that was I think grace literary then yeah I even that guy's name ... yeah Gary mule deer up up up up yeah leaves members never leave about can deliver a great guy and a good friend of Richard Lewis really mean things yeah now who is it now when I say rich loses I you don't even know who are your contemporaries my contemporaries or Larry Miller Paul Reiser ... Jimmy Brogan Jay Leno was a few years ahead of me but we became friends when I came out to LA ... ice those are the guys I don't know how big the generations our economy I think about death marked shift remember him little around we still are together very murder Barry martyr yeah funny yeah funny I know Jerry rogue one time news I you wouldn't curse right and ... heckled mercilessly fashion and so the guy was like you fucking cock sex is a very nice very good the judge in my life that you have I have second mag catch just like her very nice yeah you're free to go but the funny yeah way to handle it isn't we know goods are you there they would bring down you know he wouldn't even lower himself and so you know as well as a little and sometimes a little blue on stage yeah and afterwards I just try to avoid Jimmy because then seek me having a you know you're funny I guess you just not have to devote even well I'm honest I'm the reason I'm here is because I like the show that's very kind and I feel that you've really got something good here willow's resent that ... I I hope you are stay with it 3 flyin from a ... less Angeles inner city and that you know now they have ... now they have funny things that they tell you to be just watching to David Brenner's electric no actually we were gonna die where you up because they say they think the funny virgin I think it's ... they say for those of you know I don't know if you've heard this but then they'll go for those of you who have never used a seatbelt here's how it works right and I will use to build joke of your son through right now here it's a they live ... I think for 10 and worked in law that we call an influence they there but yeah they've I've influence them and my job was a case you have been in the car since 1966 were is how the simple or now you could do a joke about them taking a job yeah one could yeah in case you haven't been ... virgin Atlantic flight in the last year and her this announcement right you seem to do a good bit of traveling I looked at your schedule why do standup yeah I mean how do you like that how do you like being out and about well I do instead of his own thing I do is I mean now when you are not true you're good at this ... ... yeah but I mean I'm time when acting we knew we knew a lot here on the site when you decide to just send you cast of people knee and when you casted people and the many of them were standups did you find that ... they were awful actors almost per month in the because they didn't need they had they didn't have the need to be a good actor you have to have a ... survival like if I don't do this while I'm not eating ... I have no career right stand that's always feel like I handle my overnight on the I've ever run into a guy I took 3 acting classes and ... than a house and way more money than everybody else good I had stand out there watching dishes and stuff like that if you could've had any kind of career if you could just just had a magic wand and and just and I'm sure when you came down from Canada you had you you imagined wonderful things that could possibly happen to you what would both be those things if you could have done anything in show business point Roma's new show wasn't what would you wanted your career to big not that it hasn't been great but did you have thoughts of being a movie star or sit coms on our I only wanted to stand up and I you know as I I was looking back I saw that people were always had one foot in the door right now even ... guy member I just wanted to be on David Letterman and I was on David Letterman I said well that's fine and good now that's enough yeah you did a sit com some kind didn't do things right there were 3 winsome yeah and then I I figured on roads time for him to you know I would just surround myself with actors right and justice Merkel are that's what I did and ... and background I thought a lot about that in a background I think no no no I would watch the background actors Leona notice they would talk at the same time to each other right here so I'm proud of those who deal with that now it's there at the back I you had ... ... ... an amazing now explain how you ... Geyer show because it was different you run to the just of late night at the time that's correct because perhaps you would have failed and had Mr Carson depart no no that wasn't on that wasn't now though what late night show would you possibly be up for it was just the guy who was in charge of the of the late night department was the only guy who liked the pilot that we made ... on this very blog one yeah he liked it nobody else sunny potential and so when you did the show and in the summer you had less ... network interference not stand nobody even came by incredible luck yeah credible lock if you look at that the flute that ... that is ... priority thing that doesn't exist as much you think it's hard work more loon I think that ... I I think that it's a a ... are any if you really wanna be funny and you don't really care what the consequences are but you want to do this thing that you think is funny and and you have a good sense of that that and that's what makes or breaks it like Larry and I together had a very solid idea of what we were would not do right and but what about when they give you notes they didn't while they didn't because it was a late night department nobody gives the zone notes songs Johnny Carson with them so you have this is the most successful show ever and then you would think people of the exact cause of all this is well known we'll find a great stand up comic we'll find out ... has Frannie I will put them together and let them write if it did that I was the Honeymooners that's what the Honeymooners was very few of those shoes one or 2 names math but what about a little why did they do that since years they did who were doing it now but was an imminent prove every every comic you've ever met photo they have their approach I mean they have their their noted to death well you have to do something during the day yeah if your network secular you can't but how do you say no to the notes well that that's where Larry was great Larry was fantastic when there ever was suggestions from anyone he got ... a violently hostile and I I don't really have that ability but he did and he protected that concept of the show whenever it came under any any ... attack any of that on Scientology until all the credit for that what the universe petition for for being like on stage as well right where only doing with hecklers and stuff like that yeah very hilarious Larry is ... a free man you know well not unlike yourselves was what your great gift and charm is we can see that no one 's gonna tell you what to do and we love people I shower and and then grows weary happen if you learn David went on to do his own show yeah when he made that up but it but ... to answer your question wasn't a fluke yeah this always lock but when when you don't care if the people are attractive you now if you and I sit in a room and they say we're gonna send then 5 people to play this part how hard is it for you and I go well that's that's the funny guy right there room how it is that it's very simple it's very simple but because we're comics and we like breathe this air or do you think of that of that phrase likable but they often use I don't I I think it's just a word the people that don't know anything about it would would use I think it has some evaluate their vote person is funny were instantly likable of course plus you don't really need to like them to laugh anyway we want to laugh that's where he hears the great story we're reading for the part of crime and and they slept in whatever it is in ... was sitting there with the president of the network and ... these guys come menace like 34 guys Michael comes then I'm Michael blows a room why we're worse crying you know and ... then network president turns to me and says well if you want funny and I just looked at him like I don't even know what that means what else do we have for if we're not funny what we've been doing in front of the camera and you're doing your job as a result yes so that's there they don't show it here so what they should do forget about the get a great comedian and and ... his friend make 2 comedians this they and chart put them in charge of the show and has a problem with that I mean you don't want to work they don't and now they don't work and sit coms are a lot of work anything's a lot of work with sick comes our time to work in a cranking out a 50 page script in 3 days that's a hard ass work and how many committees have you met that would you say that you would say are industrious individuals 1010 I couldn't ray Romano thought can generate a model for sure what software do yeah Larry David now Larry David goes on a does Caribbean foods as and when you think I'm a lot it's great and how's that different than some of well they it's it's a whole he created another place ... though what does sometimes we call the good universe he's got the good universe and you know when you're when Larry show comes on like yeah I like this place I want to be there it's like that mansion in Beverly hillbillies they're now Larry ... I don't know this but they say it's ... improvement and privatization yeah so the why not just write it out my mind is made up well that morning when you have Larry on the show I think this is a great line of questioning but I don't I don't that you would have no reason to dial you and I would never do that now I'm not interested in what actors think you should say era but doing this let's say there's a scene on curb your enthusiasm is Larry David and John Farley somebody else and ... they're told a show up in a bowling alley in there's and ... don't you think Larry comes in with some jokes and this and that all improvising from Larry well I think he knows what the scenes about yeah why it's a funny scene yeah and that is 90 percent of good a sitcom writing is why we even doing the same if you can answer that question with a funny Sutton's your ear on the right track if the answer is well so he can meet the mother in law and then then find out what now that's not funny is this going to be a reason in this scene that it's funny that we're even here right this this is something we learned over the years are we didn't know Larry I didn't know anything at the beginning but we learned over the years of like if you can answer that question why they in this bowling alley and what's the reason it better be something funny name and then the jokes will sit on that but if it's well it would be it'll be funny when no where your server technical master of Joe I love jokes and I love to ... disassemble and assemble them yet either and now because of the sitcoms are very able to solve that haiku also ... then after awhile we figured out what works on our show yes and are you ever considered publishing a book that tells Allah how how to book no but I have considered some way to pass along what I have accumulated I I don't really know how to do it do you have any ideas on perhaps a good executive producer show with ... Sebastian Mancow as the star I can do that yeah and ... and ... but what fun is that the where is the fun part for me for the no there's no 5 is no fun for me that's true as well but what's the fun for you and given a homeless guy ... strand a handful of quarters in Washington badge in and out of traffic ha ha ha ha ha ha either but I name is the that question answers itself they were fun and very not fun but you obviously ... you obviously want to give back and everything is no I don't take anything that's true I earned it yeah through the streets do there's a goner ... I think there's something ... that ... that ... makes good people that makes good things happen to good people in the most general sense obviously bad things happen to good people good things happen to bad people but I think in general if you're a good hearted person a generous person a kind person things will go better for you and I think that's kind of the of the cash register of the of the universe if that's got okay but I I don't think of a guy people like they gave you that guy idea the old guy why yeah Howard Reno's nature yeah but but when I look in your eyes I'm not sure what I was I've never had a talk show host say that to me when I look in your eyes I see and I've done hundreds of talk shows I see ... tornal then thank you know I'm analyzing the side do you think there is such a thing and as as well as handsome as a trainee knowing eternal day I think we all are phone I think we're on different chapters of a lot an endless story true well there you got that one time Michael Richards this is before the yeah catastrophe yeah and that he said I'm going to go across the country he would walk on stage and follow in his hand and funniest thing I've ever seen and then I start talking about the Bible and then he said to me because I want to go around the country you think a man could live inside away who hung on on you should I never knew that you had such a flair for impressions they really really good impressions and I do not I do in the Jimmy Brogan items in any major Jimmy Brogan eyes I was great and I love the gym he broke rich little really yes and ... Philly I the only guy who really do as Richard Nixon well that's up here already yeah I see that but I can do an exact Richard okay and it's that I'm going to one thing look at it but he's being interviewed by David frost alright and you know that they've made a movie where they pretended David frost yes for US only but in the real tapes Nixon one you know clear right but ... anyway it was very funny because Nixon when you see this ridiculousness of Watergate a against his ... interlocutor rise so ... so I went by Democrats as says now when Howard hunt and do you go to a broken to the yeah Watergate hotel they were wearing though any weakness and listening devices and Richard Nixon well I suppose you could say they were wearing listening devices perhaps you call them hearing devices and waves big time well we're gonna ... before we go to the break one more question if you're Michael Richards and you for in that situation that word that word you said those things what would you have done next well I I I I said well I think what he did was ... panic and start pretending was Lenny Bruce like you know because he said that word everything they said that word that a word it still had his power or he did as he did this you know I mean after the incident itself ... I would move to Idaho if an item Idaho okay I understood anyway blues brings up by us yeah poor ... Papa this is what I we were talking before the show began and I Toyotas Rini's George burns oh yeah things like to read page love the thrill of books of his writing here's a compilation of George burns writing yeah above all the books that he did it's all put in one giant books I loved having that book in my office and and I just love that everybody's just trying to in the and you know make a few dollars with whatever little shit pick they have right everybody go Hey I got a little stick and maybe I can get by with that never and I and that's like an eternal show business ... what would you call it paradigm yeah I don't think that's the right word as for I always like to have her say paradigm so I'll say that's precisely the right words to check the Oxford English but a but but ... are you going to just to Georgia me one favor if when you do go to break are you going to go to break things just please say we'll be right back after this we will be right back these Orton massive we right back after this I thank through audible for sporting or renowned live for free audio book with a 30 day free trial please go to slash nor rod wasn't unmatched selection of audio books ritual shows news calmly and more ID which are great to listen doing you doing something mindless like sitting in traffic on the subway for our audience I was out here free audio book with a 30 day free trial you enlisted to it bottle has a very reliable books Ohio where you're in right now goosebumps whispers the series all well if you want a browser on mash selection of audio content why you download a title for free right now and start listening I spent a lot of time the road novel isn't true traveling for me how keeping me entertained not I don't listen to my own book based on a true story by norm mac Donald getting one I listen to me speak so get a free audio over there in a free trial I will not calm slash norm that's slash nor okay sure brought you by bowl in branch you know science does there are 5 stages of sleep of course off but before you can enter any of them you need to be comfortable so you can fall asleep yes you need bowl one branch sheets that the most comfortable sheets that you have ever slept on I guarantee it what makes them unique this each sheet is crafted from 100 percent organic cotton that means the Bowen Brad she's not only feel incredible but they look amazing also and since bone branch sheets are only available online you don't pay the retail markup taunts Greek twice the quality half the price I like not so gore bowling today and you get $50 off your first set of sheets plus free shipping if you use a promo code nor and live in the continental United States that's $50 off plus free U. 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Mister Dangerfield ... what I liked about him and it was kind of a throwback to Benny and hoping none of those guys is it not a he had the greatest joke yeah but he not only had the reserve he talked funny any looked funny yeah moved funny now yeah yeah thought must've been behind every one of those actions you know ... and ... did you ever think of doing that did you ever do that ever occurred in a physical eyes I think the only way I can think of is Ryan re enough to my head that has great jokes and yeah and a funny voice and Sebastian and cow juror also has someone out Halliday here I think he's maybe one of the bass physical comedians I've ever seen right that's also a great stand up there were guys like Charlie Callas who they would sell the dog of proof that you know and they would do funny physical things but the act really wasn't much sooner so now you have a guy who can move funny and has great stuff that's a powerhouse your jungler Dangerfield in New York on the break spurring them right I I and ... young all shows the break and when the White Rabbit as and as a as a a flyin as soon Robert frosty and phrases as I went into Dangerfield the other night to ... take the stage and performance and kind of see what the place is like there these days and I think it's like a frozen in time place I thought it was like a fly in a piece of amber like a front like a fly in a piece of amber how about that time has proven I'm glad you joined the of the mocking you know you have eternal look in your eyes we're all internal that if we look at each other like that how could we ever ... turn down a homeless persons equestrian something I think you could I could you could I mean that's I don't think it's helping these you never walked past a homeless person in there the bagging as a fellow human being or something and you ignore them and you may feel some evil vile come out sometimes I think if I give this person money I'm kind of agreeing that you can't get out of the situation but I broke a lot of that I don't know if they can't they can't but I feel I took a homeless guy into a restaurant has and so given the money a table in a restaurant boy I was out of sync 5 seconds tire restaurants mouth like a swinging urine and they were looking at and urine yeah well then yeah we're a nation with me and the homeless after a year they executed him your those are very badly and vaudeville act I've never till it was relevant context learn a new room extra your heart like a ... I went to run in danger thrills club that when I was in century city in Los Angeles the open one yeah for short all I do know that and so the Congress will go I'm gonna after the guy was you if he'd come up and they'd be wearing his pajamas and yeah fan there 3 take questions from the audience that's funny because some of the great mother was rich us with that suddenly the artist so they go you know ... has you down to you kids very moved by ... ... us we use that in 4 cases of ... read his are right now yeah but I think you are no has your dating life going around here you can you know as as well as a one time he was it was the day he got married he stabbed the improv to do is send his wife was in a wedding dress and that he ... intrusion come on and he said the giver has got married alright okay and met a woman stands up in a fuckin winners and everyone claps and then he goes she's no prize a bigger issues as ram so much in common I suddenly dissect Dick John Nash's through her wedding day but I was at rice deride man is taking questions from and so they you know they're so this is very well bounces asked about his kids ... no respect at all it says that one as as a one ... warning into your next movie you tell me you Cox mother fuckers there was a lot give me a movie of the foregoing every day is all you can well here is not a terribly compression test they alone and so ... anyway as though he told Fred Stolar you take too many liberties with the audience alright Ken so ... that's what I like when you take no liberties with the I. what does it mean demands a this punk attitude of just gone out and I'll play over the back of the room or how I started not to shady of or all right or whatever yeah Disney no regard for the audience well that's where the George burns influence on that we talked about earlier is I I kind of like the old Valur Neisseria because by god if you see if you go near to and you see hope in Bennett and ... and their man by god writer wearing a suit to them complete command the audience right in the 30 year low of 35 if I go and this is where you had thank you still have both thank you very much will burn started smoking cigars to look that part when he was a kid I that's why I started with the cigars yeah here's a kid he thought if I had a cigar I would look more adult talents interests then got I told you before the show I was going to because you know so much about George Reso gonna tie this joke I heard George burns talent I simply don't understand now the more you know the the view the funny papers then there'd be a you know ... that have Marmaduke yourself and and I would understand it but they end ago while setting my parents I go what the fuck we're doing that does make sense my ... who affected in that differently that's about it really bothered me that ... it now I of for some reason ... it didn't play out right minimizes the job majority words that he said was his favorite shows of all time organizer here this may be a for there's a vaudeville act and ... there ... there 2 guys in a bar and they see their communicate euro sitting at the bar so they walk up to them of my god eh it's so great to see you we you know this such a pleasure says Fallas it's it's not a good time I just lost my way this morning and ... that rival yeah Los O. we know how you feel we ... we lost our trunk on the way here are you laughing at me Joe well let me think that I would like perhaps you by way of mass yes news no reason you would never know it when you were in vaudeville and the trunk is your whole life throw the props and remove all the beer hops all your Kassem's all you make up your if you have no trunk you cannot do your act ... all so so it's an inside show business joke like for example I I'm Jewish and I like ... who's this is his want like the court is a great is Joe joke I've ever heard that I love it it's in your not gonna get it okay okay yeah but that that's the joke is that you won't get it he as yours are you Georgia okay then you'll get it okay okay half to no I'm full closer closer and I tense but you're young so you might not get moving okay so here's the job Holocaust denier they also but I'm not going to hold that against you ... interrupt so here's the job now you've just says the scent of the joker's it's Junejo okay to ... a gentile businessmen meet on the street one of them says how's business illnesses greats so he gets it the yeah really got a really liked it so the joke is about who doesn't get it back to the trunk job that's part of what makes the joke funny is that men are getting certain people a lot of people not getting it you know religious name is Anisha same with the Jewish joke that when they saw him right where none of you are he's Jewish he gets a you are not you down but I don't believe in god oh yeah god he got here and find out yeah tell me how little to tell norm why that's funny because that's 2 jurors honored that my house business great because that's the death of somebody said knowledge to gentile business yeah I know that's what's funny is are you married or not 5000000 yeah secured Janta right ones'house business yeah there are those who worry rates and the joke is anyone's guess and I know they should know in the audience gets an exhibit haps Daniel Kelly the it's not gonna be great if it's Santa if it's to Jews then that if that's ever going to be a lot of the earth yeah because they're gonna mean to do it all and I am out as all big they're all kind of complaint he made if I could send a 2 seconds after is as a well I it was not a major yeah here I like the job yes I do like the funny joke I like the job and I understand what you mean about me not getting it ... adds to the job yeah how do you do with non comedy guest you have to guess that are not commit had Larry King Palisa he hasn't gotten shaped hole in his heart rather I tried to fill I said what do you think about after live dirt turn now turned on how much do you make doing this you know 0 knowing come on you gotta get something America but I think these fellows do over here he doesn't know chameleon shows up anywhere for nothing ... gentile I I WNED came from the from the twitterverse similarly won a Tony do any other what else could we do with the standard here them sometimes secretly want to play a dramatic role now have you ever seen a guy nonstop Bob thought about but you seem comics and and yeah show on there their guide that soft in the head and yeah this is it from Twitter I run a much which is okay occurs at the regular program what do you think like guys in borough and I feel sorry for them do you feel the solid feel I I think you maybe you agree with this to be a comic actor so rare no and as you comic slash actor no comic actor like my favorite movies and read another movie yeah yeah might be really is ... is ... plans right now is because I love John candy and to be it because I'm a Canadian yeah admit comic actor so rare and to be a dramatic actor so common that he will fly with a a a great comic actor want to be 1000 percent thousands I thought this when I was a kid start now the businessman in my twenties that wives only answer would you ever do a dramatic while I go they got people for that right or get millions of people for that yeah but those people do it the greatest thing in the world is a funny guy when it just admit it relieves the burden of life did you like that movie ... mint Preston Sturges fellow it's my favorite movie government capsule element strong because unless your favorite screens we will well the graduates my favorite movie to watch as a movie yeah but ... what it's about is what's on the ground Zaki wears out yes exactly do you have about you was I'm I love so vote out of fear that doesn't surprise me I didn't expect it right it will surprise you about me what surprises you know about me images during this interview isn't just some general ... you seem kind that's surprising her because I would think you're cool right and at your warm up thank you and then your I. has I was glad again does go ahead you should answer is what I was blind sexual not only section what if someone's blind my dad knew of the wind and my dad was in the war is now he was a double generation older than I you know I had Noone is 50 so he wasn't that explains a lot he wasn't a great a great one and our friends were alright and so ... when Gretzky here a check it out so ahead of a blind friend that he can lower and my dad said you want a coke number RC Cola guide them we don't got no RC Cola or coca Cola the gold standard around noon lying bastard ones are Logan and Adam were taken ... picked up her sleeve and Paul mile 0.5 walk right so I work with this blind sentiment and he says to me you want me to describe everything so I said ... okay well on the left isn't has loaned them you know there's a fence he doesn't like that one that's near petrified I said yes it is how big is it Thracian I said ... John Aylmer Jarocin ... used on this land he said I don't want to hear that is tell me what is and so all of a sudden I saw things as they were I was very young but I'll never forget that ... because I had deceived for this through for the sublime I have seen and and or I'm not my opinions in a variety so when I went by John Miller Jr since house ... half I have quarter later right now I didn't mention Johnny or anything I just described the house right because that's all we wanted to see and then that I began to realize that life is what is not what you think it or not you know I appears to be and he but I I think you would agree that your life or my life is just a series of facts the series of incidents it's not what you dream hold criminal if it's what you do I would say the exact opposite what do you think it first all you mean to tell me this jet does not end with we suddenly realized why the hell are we getting this blind man a different brand that's not the punch line on the rope and all my other friends are Syrian yeah does not need to tell you 1000000 miles away 0 percent why we getting a different brand coke for a blind man that's not where we're going or he didn't work he has to his sense of taste was expand what we just drink it's resigns the I guarantee you you could fool a blind person with ... an off brand code but anyway let's ... let's go back to your question is life the facts here floors of what we think near this and I would ... to me the facts are somewhat irrelevant and what you dream hope imagine is the reality our life is the perfect testament to that because everything we are is only because we imagined it yes for you imagine wounded being and so the big rise let some poor yeah no I don't know what to do is imagine the man he just said the Senate Harmon imagine things in your chair is are you just a person sitting on a chair or are you what is in your mind the imaginings I other so you're thinking that the imaginings the the real world is not but that's these are props this this is the trunk there's this great act is in here this the room okay if you really funny what a poke me like no other I mean there's a reason that we don't look at each other in the chest and ... yeah but we take notice of the chest are we guys but we also moving around or you might get your estimated ha ha the of god what else you got there what else you got there now appears style yeah show signs of this is my question great you would use terms you call me at a whole chunk of coal but yet ever there was a loose woman on the show she may well and not Madonna or Britney spears George has the handsome man makes it look like Robert Wagner and not Matt Damon or somewhere like that yeah so Europe is the purposely picking iconic figures from the past I well yes who thought they were funny name so the funny references ... there was one reference actually got them name escapes me now that Larry put and it was really funny ... it wasn't gig young where somebody like that would be what I think you're on Yahoo path you know how you go down the toilet yeah Monique well insult from his wife shaving and in that Marcus Welby but wait 70 no from mom and when he went back to the to in time or is it the one you really real life walking as often as we were back in time yeah I think so in real life Holly Marie wants to hear that now hopes room well that's enough of really really ... arcane item that you focused on that Sir they would name references sorrow that were old mere opinion what stops the 99 percent from coming over the one percent taken techno area I have often pondered this why when they came up with this idea of complete independence and freedom and everybody will make whatever they make them all just live together the rich and the poor then didn't someone I think well why wouldn't you just club over the hand if they but it's like the Arab spring Jim me and though it is just fine then I think now that they turned a bit but then I think well now same thing in England while they just just get 20 rugby players to storm Buckingham Palace and take all their money queen is a lot of money with the rubber plants have even more money well though I should've said rugby player Julia yes Sokol Lisa Sokol yeah Houllier because I'll tell you why because people in the end love order and rectitude mean like dogs they cancer but they know they cannot survive without the pack what's next for Jerry Seinfeld we'll find out after this no young man I'm 62 what 6 only Alicia it now looks a lot better man I'm 60 days no but you do and I hope that the same is true of me only benefit from the the the mallow weighing of the wine this is the great one of the great comedic ... secret weapons is that as you become older and even a little more crank year and out of it it it's good for your it's good for sure what they know Russia bid don't you love scene all cranky Kaliya super Osborne forum where ever yeah how is your honor on Conan you know sure thing to my son he phoned me up into the mini overcome the street on my way to Conan and I was I guess what you got so totally Josephus protect those red pop because go well with the bread popped sit beside code more time for 5 minutes signals a heavy Chris jungle Martin is so hard amenable on popular here hold on talk to one but in the need in me the following a who Annesley day's gonna bomb popular the guru don't know the stories of but Nnamdi gasoline into our hours when the grade your time of none of the light thank you know I have the pleasure was mine thank you Adam was great was really funny was dreamlike how fast that go profanity ream like Whitney till it's of it's a wonderful thing there who I knew something beautiful about this one I'm sorry but they're not being ironic no I I really loved it it was great sorry that this guy was there not it's I think that's why I'm a person servers card room the biped joke will go down theory as the most obscure who did you meet him half toady fields daughter only learn how about that my god I was excited you have no idea who then and now this year by pander I don't know which had the families it is that yeah that's a great job not only I guess I I yeah //
"2017-08-22 14:00:01"
Dana Carvey | Norm Macdonald Live
\\today's shows you have a great I hear that trusty sidekick add only the show is being spies right came yes Gimbels nope it's being sponsored by Pearle flower out fuck me yeah I ... right norm who loses everybody said to be here at 3:00 it's us also note to me dear Adam it is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you know I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I want to avoid the inevitable screaming match with you about how you are eternally single and how we made that pact all those years ago to die alone but I did find a real love with Guinevere she's so nice but I knew you would never approve or because of all her piercings or tattoos on her tight motorcycle //
"2017-08-15 14:00:05"
Sarah Silverman Pt. 1 | Norm Macdonald Live
\\today's episode is brought to you by bowling branch nature box and went with the sea yeah Sarah Silverman well joining us I'm here on my trusty sidekick Adam me yet the other you know what I'm good schmo stiff I have a computer now for the show yeah going I see you have the laptop I would do well that way as a answer your guest says I mean I don't know about I look it up on well that's a minutes Mara what's it called it's called the internet now that is a special thing it head on yeah ask Gee we're asking so who's this fucker that ... doc into I just get blood Dutch I used to work at a historic data as customer around service well hello right there now do I take their dogs and lord I know this is the newest thing we're by this sets a Sir Sir I got right was rarely a service dog I'm shark Shawwal Rosen as wrong got as you said ... she wanted Ranma and a big candle as a mother can lead to big enough that the dog and into well I down rollover and jump up and all this burn she's having trained everyday whenever those service dog do dogs always raced to the door when you when the doorbell rings it's almost never for them I think alone and create more jobs than any touch on the television your dog do I ever done in well you know what they say nature abhors a vacuum they those Newton nature abhors a vacuum but so was my dog I would a I after talking sheep dog just seems ridiculous talking shit Noel after talking sheep dog gets all the ships in the pen he reports back to the farmer all 40 accounted for but I only have 636 she says the farmer I only have 36 sheep there's 40 I know this is the sheep dog but I rounded them up Drilon worse for container or what do you call and an Amish guy with his hand in the horse's mouth we call on Amish guy with with his hand in a horse's mouth and that can harmony guitars now Hardenbergh here all of the horrible wrestling yeah hi good restart now we're done we'll be back with Sarah Silverman a moment care of Maryland is at her up owner but I want to say owner now where each other's companion listeners in clear from this is a good start jazz scene shears cheers this is so great well maybe I'm setting up 2 months but ... ... bill Wiley is character actor who is Henry Filipstad tall well yeah in a new photo comedic bone and one arm you love them home much this call is really close with mica judge yeah so anyway his dad is this character actor who was gonna be college and shares he was testing for the role between him and the other guy well when he had turned it down because because chairs was just a pilot and he got a real concrete job playing the bad guy and Porgy's too maybe the crazy so you there we wouldn't even know woody Harrelson because he's still alive because bill Wiley still ashigaru well yeah well we might still long I felt another Grammy winning and he woulda got some work but when I was in a movie with true detective would be like to try and introduce a I did a movie and I'm not act and he's incredibly you know and in the but ... I was in a scene with them and he's a really good actor so who is the director was Milos foreman he just forget the script and thank god for that already forgotten NDA says just sit on the say what and he was Larry flint rate of course but he was doing the voice all the time hostages for fun yeah because it's fun to do that voice carrier are numerous Oliver jointer whenever you shouldn that were in in the city in takin this was is forget descriptor there was in that woody Harrelson goes carry bear you wanna be on Iowa 0 years a lot of beer is a like a lot of and I got it at all not Trippin those lines from the movie as in the movie yeah earlier in the lastly I didn online I came out and he makes the choice to say acting good enough that it's well I do well I know it's not like I think it's a choice to be like him not only to be a regular guys things good though I suppose you do because your fancy I know you you say like when then where yeah if you remove that Shakespeare that's as my parents and I I learned the WHT was proud a whole loaf of bread hold will feel free to call I always think of that is like a whole 8020 writer yeah grow how do you describe ... are added the second month of the year how do you pronounce that February her to listen to what he said hashish everywhere it's mostly Shephelah isis in February here until I learned how to spell it for its but you sense that where he's wrong I don't Larry no he's right now but I know what I know is right around but now that I know how to spell it I mean that's like how I say wed nest day yeah exactly but I don't know what it was comfortable the guy that's spelled comfortable comfortable and well we took transposing tea in the are yeah I got one that website Kantor asked but I think it pink dress yeah so I know a painter asked but then it's because it's inter asks then dress very true but I say interesting my sig contrition say interesting as interesting to really do you want to live in a circle for interesting it's probably better to envelope envelope and envelope unless a model of good sound who didn yes same trying hard to sound for the tour try not to draw attention to your right soften any matter so what is the the painted fingernail ... this is similar to pronounce my solidarity with I children who have been abused you know as then why more and there then you know then you think thano Morris no ... young boys were views yeah but girls she turns around to all of our 100 percent of Gennaro's because I like I'm for one day does mean it's all others voters are very worried clean here I have if yeah nder that only when the great against clean the no cleaning those 0 writer o'donnell Madonna here and on the desert hero so you're not a good actor political activist fine guitar players who earned a staged television internet Sierra K. Sorrell on the case as for can ... anything in any book for kosher or kind hearted that's nice not I think I mean we're all thinking Hey whenever a scene he calls me. shoes also used an interesting point cutting okay so join or just the origins all in all areas racial so you may change okay sunny today was sound of the landing language saying that do and in the winter Gillian Sorenson yeah can be used to describe what you are it can also be the only one I can think of where do you know just you know there are things you that was like a bill don't she leaned down that was like a Taylor here Arabs depends on how you see some it I you a graphical user the man in charge slaves and I used always as China alright when you we we can't use it no that would call you a China China is not so you can't you you go analysts and there a woman even all we ask their enemies she is Asian there's it is our Eurasian your age and Eurasia it was well last number nnst that and then you were on each and I'm ROP it's a really good luck him to be other people and I'm anyone apologize for real I mean listen Irene enough we have been calling for change here the the sure all the it all over the years the way it well and bill Maher with you acknowledges I sure is a here then adding this liberal a white does I you know you can any very racist there are re in its most people it is actions of huckleberry Finn I know that was one of it would look I wanted to know yeah high in the air along quite so I'm right or no doubt so miss no and as only one so I've never you're here was we need you we I know yeah I was what I was on but Larry that the media reaction and then move my arm right before that it was a Joey way unless so where midnight go in there we're going I he Tom we no but to 3 so well it's a I learned a lot yeah I you know pretty deep and DHEA as granted use their including my there were never hello I think there's errors in which grew really does he have a great she's you guys are so like remember you know anyone with the every 3 years and never talk cool and yes crowd really and Carlos very I have done it is a out of life as other Tom yeah everybody's that is very is my head ladies wouldn't it those are it never gets to it's always going after how much and there's yeah I just you're see in his face anger and all our normal to yeah there is certainly a sort of cruel that acting now all Latin as acting teachers hands on that and they become good or is that aren't as they may want to just be worship it's a really good argument or the ... the cold and I was like yeah did you an Indian guy yeah yeah who live here the track there it is and we can you get and those were Irina senior she's and she and he I but see part boy it sure virtual no that was a all grew she was a ... Wally's relax right Harry this guy and I meet with him he just goes when you're running from lasers and you're running only a 3 you seem to we'll be right back you I got a there is today's show is being brought to you by bowl and great sleep starts with the right sheets I resent yes that bowline branch I only feel incredible look at amazing no and you know I they're sold ex hold pay that expand do so gore bone ranch today do dollars off free U. S. shipping right now ball and ran he ... al I'm terrible gardener arm bowling ran code I areas river Adam being it I say we all on each I feel like all the options out there are delicious 1000000000 calories or but it me that when more why prove you're still it has over one tastes good and are actually better for you quality since gradient no artificial callers no artificial flavors NO artificial feel good what you're my faith are there high and there Chris the noodles because they taste incredible they fill me up feel bad for eating them data media's likes their dark cocoa nam now you're sure to find your snack jobs ashen and nature Boxhead new snacks every month aspire by real customer feedback the latest food trends and professional chefs it's so simple to door to nature bugs now I'm calm choose the snacks you want and nature box will deliver them right to your door then there's no risk did you ever try snag you don't like well don't need nature box will replace it for free wow and right now you can save even more because nature boxes ivory norm mac Donald alive stands as you 3 free snacks with your first order when you go to nature slash your major slash non that's nature box .com slash or part 33 snatched with your first order once again nature slash no army n't well the other 3 airs through there is a serial killer on again off you know I guess I don't know 0 who are ... though what about ... you say is a brilliant actor Idaho is the desert near China asking like how do you do that but not if you're not a good actress but now yeah I mean I don't know he it's funny because he's played a lot of people and I go I got you do sense did I impersonations and he gets really mad because I guess they're not impose any since I inhabit aluminum because I love you know is pretty deep though is like a really big brain guy I was sent to them there will be blood with Daniel day Lewis is I'm a bluegrass actor yeah and it was our impression of John Houston that bothered me the whole time you know Brenda I asked Paul Thomas Anderson thank you Tony is do John Hewson and it's about it at yeah you know I don't know what John use that era Chinatown Mister did she it's time you leave China town Sir I can do delayed because it was a great impression character Alwan someone showed yeah he's ledger and you know he's and Evelyn that okay and then he's doing like a really young ... wait so there are a lot of our I heard that there is like people Indonesians hardy does a lot a lot of people Peter Sellers city every territory ever did Stowe Vermont and well that we saw that we were all gonna split although it was very sellers and passes we can be very trying to corner yeah kind but there was something that sellers owners person that sellers duh played for being there knowing who does matter being there are glorious he was like Stan laurel I well my job I think we should treat was the secret of saying about he says if you give me my fucking money persona when he saw the door like satellite units he's Cuba ranging a lot of this I will challenge you is great I never realized and there's the other glove the cast of the downside and they're talking about as one senior and the river look about 6 pounds and talks to the godfather it very often leads a wedding at his I hope you on the that's hilarious line item veto resume you asking the other first and I would just hear me so in real life and they did it and the guy sucked as an actor like usually cast because he is good at killing a look did so is trying to say this this is like ... called brand okay NTIA the athlete but still Bill Clinton that Sachsen cameras lines insurance or the like fire with the familiar and then coldly goes now and keep it and then the next day he did a shot of the guy outside waiting practicing a speech so the godfather and the other only say you did majored in into the lake of memorable scene for this for this portable actor yeah because the reserve don't ever me no if your god damn sure in the film nonna Yzerman tell 03 it's for their own hates anonymous here great time ever there was a Rodin and direct this great guys Larry kert Larry in Iran no mergers you skate and highly goddammit Alexander dinner certain ... move the mini series like Melrose party game things yeah he's like that when I was growing up had chosen that like Serbia celebrity home K. another dimension as are drawn she was so good with Alec Baldwin and CNN doesn't much matter there are and that's you want to clear it up for adoption I who believe leave so they didn't get a sick latest so lines the person I dropped out so as a whiner super day from personal Ashton major science I know super dense yeah it's a fun service so I understood please let me and say well it's in the room with the other celebrities how you know just well very funny guy and you daily and like the other day with the long enough to sure gene or anything I was on the Paul is going to be when I'm there is it not clear the super wealthy your letter and grand kids come grandpas super Ndogo it's funny you forget how funny and name super Davis yeah keys to come up with a rationale to ally senator Lott and TV shows like I was around when I first moved to LA that friends pilot wouldn't script was going around there were making fun of people are and how you would do you think Brian laughing but it was does he know even Happy Days with the impact it is but it's that was a pilot program who told don't worry strips does Alan a good time Zettler climb I went and told them that like us and that's how much you tell them it's not it's com I would hit someone doesn't like I never really thought of it here sure Lou number that till Ronnie's and this mama's and or care to listen I mean she alla time and then when I was in Wales and he wants 50 sketches and was that the ones and maybe select their career on Yahoo here on the I love he went on to do a for why was America it's hilarious but Ronnie cool record would tell stories on the site units share British smoke and Sharon tell a story a whole bunch of jokes in the story credible does your does your bald storyteller why Wales yeah when it sometimes and that I'll go say Shakespeare leaning goes we can only your monkey you don't and any Anne so easily goalie nter introducing them to your friends you go as my boyfriend is from Wales I'm from normal to yeah I hello never Belgium waffle girl from Wales soon them but in the mean buffalo slots Jr is yeah around buffalo that's where we got a buffalo Rochester that it can I do Anna so as a result we dug the biggest guy in show business all America was how little tedious because you know he owned all my so yeah yeah it was the biggest guy and proved screw the enhancement are ... manager here no neighborhood Beverly I tell him I was he did gay pain nearby not well yeah I wanted to my aunt India so that's the question you grew up together also question I think you've been so generous to some Ali mode prime Moses all word some airmen to heal many mentors yeah parishioners did a job in show business do you once when your waitress I'm all where a man a man I'm just saying yes in armor talks about we're asking Hollywood knows I and we know but it's a and some because I have something more in this one man raise your hand if you have when a guy is the guy IBM pub we simply everyone in my life one Greece series I know I really is like guys don't really have a shot this is a story I heard let everyone like some 4 is a as what she like around a gas the Irish our primary thing you know where the guy very nice Johnny here today SO billboards of ... for yeah sex right making and and you don't have I does no one so sure Sir let us know my horrible means and be about area and the rest of I only on how be Q. do you wish hello hello always almost I get from you ... so the the other guy I can easily way more than now is like for you do I upset all I do is fun for I know you and you have to 0 catch the lan I hear scary noise see her and her I everything's alright whom right after admitting something is done it's your last because of yeah there and ... there's room to European I mean it was a series of there is a cellphone there is a felon ladies lasers fog IRA as I'll is long Dyess we need to get it but they her home is interesting many G. Sarah but about like yeah I don't ever gets maybe later this year we're like sorry is what it is IBM doesn't Hey can you give me a ride and do they you were both the river this 9 is now I'm using look for it today's show is brought right wing great glad I do when you reflect the day or you were so when you love I understand around the world right wing old our why a brief is man it recommends just resting well it Dore I have your time is wasted eating in a run to the store on your way to an inventor gathering no mark gore new rare and not available anywhere else so you the story behind invited to a lot of did sure I do and I like brand wine with me and up for when W. I am you really enjoy like a I'm getting a reviews is a man well one this is a good bar join for free speech a month so and they have a one 0 per satisfaction guaranteed so you never pay for a bar right now even better wink is offering listener callers are shorter when you hi they'll even cover cost of that's right wing now remember that's spelled T. are wide W. I. N. slash no harm to get $20 off your first order plus complimentary shipping try slash norm was it in your nature girl loaning nobody early in stand up or were there acting people when you because it wasn't really young right yeah I think like Woody Allen and Albert Brooks my mom and all these albums Llobregat was yelling Allan Sherman the charter donation easy when you're in love with the whole world is to answer her Woody Allen that's just like in this that I imagine in my ear holes like a tiny little club Monday cloudy here like individual laughs and you know he does not like this watch that my spends has sentimental value my uncle on his deathbed sold me this CNBLUE's jung room from the other Broadway Danny rose was someone or something he wasn't he was no it isn't pretending to be a bad comedian and yeah she hadn probably I lemon Broadway Danny rose let me see because we they dry there and I suppose that Kathleen shot a guy in the eye and he goes only got dizzy blind shows he's dead in his home right you know like show business they just sell the salmon arm and this and that is all right now and the guys telling stories except it's your doctor crew and passenger last I I don't mind sharing the only character actors a lot of fucking room there's a guy that played Lenny Bruce and ended up homeless I hear Los Angeles what's his name check it out Jack Cloonan this glad I found you yeah yeah yeah yeah I heard how he would remember how ... I OCD or whatever the word is but you know he just get names you know you go Henderson to grab back woods quite like Johnson that whose names really Johnson gag we try to find the perfect name at its heart figure out you know if you get a good name for you know show like a person's name and it's to me it's very attractive like when Seinfeld so I don't know because I knew them using the same name as like the most beautiful man and Pomeroy moves as a good one thank god it was and Pomerania I would've been in movies and shit you learn all you can and do you know limited you which way you can kind of Winona Ryder hunter name Winona Horowitz she would star in the agent and send well then managers that know allowing this situation and yeah because people are fucking racist ran even the Jews were that run Hollywood don't wanna see Jews here you along a certain route Ronnie tone Sandler not to tell people this year I think so but sailor said though that all the young Jewish executives loved by me is making it is successful yeah so I did that they love seeing ... in on Jewish did you lose it all right earlier yeah well I don't change the whole game and a lot of ways or make some guy in Manhattan does its little consumer hometown just rallies are greasy I lied went to Larry go planning called me last and so I got stash randori planning planning funny and this excellent again so I went on right before Adam Adam was doing stand up and so I go on and then I get awfully signaling some watching Adam and he because I don't I guess because I was just on the habit he told stories and I'm like because he was the same age medicine as my sister and all this stuff and then he told a story about me that I've never heard but to like my age doesn't mean how did you remember happening you know earlier and I know anything about it his mom was my nursery school teacher Mrs Sandler and she tells this story but I had never heard it before that I when I was in nursery school this little girl said a swear word and this and that goes we don't talk like that here and then I overheard it I go those are at home I didn't hear a story about yourself from when you're little you know various so you only get from like siblings and parents that's weird in there because I know Adam's mother die another day to burn anything other terms and you need edges Jersey the Watson rounds in his movies but because she had a job yeah she wasn't mad at her mother back then some but yeah it was due to the Jewish that yeah I think he broke down are insane yeah character song sure shed all that shit I knew when I was writing the Hanukkah song I was you know on the internet so that's echo doing Rhonda the livelihood to start with his Jewish research department you know she Susumu hyperdrive legends of the layers earlier this our writers everything disappointing I'm on running backs duration in a perfect line about we're not going on then again a lot of fun not too sure on this road right here you know who wrote that Schistura Solman from was in a lot of different people did you write most of it or room but was but I'm framerate episode you read the last episode of the little house series though no those you know let's see you as well Dan Harmon before he was fired from my me gotta so brilliant it is brilliant yeah funny how he describes it best stories in the in hindsight I think he said that I said ... there's only room for one bat shit crazy prisonniers so amazing then and now Rabb shrub really is the whole look of that in the family and Dan sterling Chris Romano they would remember that he was upset decorator no it is it and he directed prayer almost every episode and also he just has such a specific look right just looked cartoony radio when you when your hours earlier all that shit yeah I like all humanity uses playing house user Astor showed us some of those scenes to download a musician Jean Claude Pierre that's true Gennaro Brian you know okay Harris Wittels nearest this was his first job he was a internet comedy some are not so cool and he was like names here on a bomb yeah the everybody invented some of Bragg's army yeah I don't think that's what he wanted to be known forever at anything for easy and really and he came up with the best lines leg when he and we had this bet and we know where to put it until we then we just we just hide it you know you just put stuff in like a cool burden yeah and so I there's an episode where I wake up and I'm like 9 months pregnant so I go to my abortion astron Lynch and he's like I can't give you her version months pregnant women like an irate something light it don't mean like sentences please J. jazz Linus and his friend dies and he's just the sobbing beside himself and my sister goes he died doing what he loved and she goes you won't die see when it when it first came out was when you pull the Mexican apart and Sam Carr who I was but they're yeah we need anything from hasn't to like stuff I learned just the you know the guys in the 0 Skechers are in charge of an alarm let the river is a writer clients and Aaron and shayanna so we would just all be in the room but you know many many Hollywood shows it's a complete schism between the performers in there no right if somebody did somebody script and we all rooted to get we all break we all wrote the outline together and then once we the detailed outline then whoever was assigned it usually the person whose idea was the main idea was someone who really wants that will go off and write in and ... yeah they'd be on set we we didn't do any overlap because I had to be in there I I wanted to be in the writers room the whole time and then we'd start shooting when all the scripts were done so there was it was only there is overlap so all the raiders can be on the sat if they wanted to be or if they didn't want any that I have to be but you know us later you saying you you shot the show then sequence after all of the scripture more for this season we wrote all of them and then we shot them and then because I didn't know that any better I I insisted that we shot 2 weeks on one week off 2 weeks I'm really gotten counties under let us do it but I'm just act I only have so many vital hours in a day and I also don't have stamina yeah I don't and the stamina of the average person that's in that area but there's nothing I can do show runners have lot to stand well great I'm inviting all in that most of the show you know I need that I need to rest yeah I guess I wasn't a suggest that you take it right over to Netflix with it you know because a lot of the wind keeps saying the rest of the shows that some nice names are pretty on the outside the old ones well but I know you at a bad time to anything that Congress central like your grade before they gave shows why they had a county central was not a fan of comedy in any wheat but it was pretty great we get to make the show exactly what we wanted to tune you know but it's yeah and then the writers strike cabin in the middle of that yeah but I know that I do I do I mean I know so many people now I'm I'm pitching to produce a show that for Stephen Brian a spinoff show no speed Stevie J. already have always Steve and Brian I thought he said Stephen Brian Allen had even Brian without I suppose I have the other so god damn good data yeah all that spin dart out there so many funny scenes with poster number but there's so much great stuff on her nose we think you'll soon neither does early childhood aging in Hollywood as a woman there which is a tough thing extender watching I've had this usually this finger paint or may find it because I and there was there was a thing there's a thing it's still gonna happen in palm springs Scott palm springs follies that's all it will be real and that's that them dancers from the Ford isn't there is this guy ripped as the MC in the US alone corny jokes in this which is too old 9 year olds and I'm a vaudeville act then they have a special guest every week so I did my mother and the experience with Gloria DeHaven I don't know but she never she's I go I can't wait to hear that so big screen comes down and shows Gloria DeHaven in this movie most beautiful one rehearsing alive gorgeous long Linus and dislike translucent skin just gorgeous why do I they're here to their real life boxing lady looks exactly my mother when I get down that's cruel show you know you can find well we deserved even house to look the same at a certain age well is when they're like what comes first then short frosted TenNapel sexuality my meantime well even if we think well I'm a little crazy filler faces but are I mean I same to you you better damage other he's you know it's a little thing about Murray here is any word you know I went out only one to complain in the John now are you I don't mean sense of I would like sure cool so yeah yeah manners it nerd melodic we need some you look at how women can aid there's some failure on right yeah your change perception like whenever said ... big breasts are out can you really knew if what if you're bright yeah you can't help when jet room no matter I everybody hates the had the you seem content since well the no there isn't girls isn't and this and still in my shoes far from the owner breast with shoulder retirement like who's not insane and ... Arafat by it's like saying god Normie stand Mary no where near