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Teal Swan
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"2018-05-19 14:48:10"
OVERLAY (What Prevents You From Having a Real Relationship) - Teal Swan
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"2018-05-13 19:19:34"
What/Who is Teal Swan?
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"2018-05-12 15:07:28"
Healing Your Mind - Teal Swan
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"2018-05-09 18:16:15"
Fragmentation, Self Worth and How to Understand your Shame - Teal Swan Synchronization Workshop
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"2018-05-05 17:10:52"
How To Open Your Solar Plexus Chakra - Teal Swan -
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"2018-05-03 16:19:52"
Self Work Exercise in Finding the Right Partner for a Single Parent - Synchronization Workshop
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"2018-04-28 13:15:12"
The Defective Doll (Dysfunctional Relationships) - Teal Swan
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"2018-04-21 12:56:08"
How Has It Come To This? (The Societal Collapse into Independence) - Teal Swan
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"2018-04-14 16:03:54"
Internal Arson - An Amazing Exercise For Anger (A Self Growth Exercise)
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"2018-04-07 14:00:51"
Incompatibility (A Harsh Reality in Relationships) - Teal Swan
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"2018-04-04 13:52:13"
Teal Swan's - Mirror Event
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"2018-03-31 15:32:56"
School Shooters (Understanding School Shooters and What To Do To Prevent School Shootings)
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"2018-03-28 18:56:33"
Working with Commitment - Teal Swan - The Completion Process
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"2018-03-24 14:04:21"
Self Hate (The Most Dangerous Coping Mechanism) - Teal Swan
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"2018-03-22 00:03:58"
Channeling Your Pain - Teal Swan Workshop
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"2018-03-17 15:40:24"
Make Everything Matter (Transform Your Life) - Teal Swan
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"2018-03-15 21:20:52"
Codependency - Awareness of Codependent Patterns - Teal Swan Workshop
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"2018-03-10 15:33:40"
Own People! (How To Take Ownership of Your Relationships) - Teal Swan -
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"2018-03-07 14:21:33"
The Problem with Diagnosing in the Mental Health System
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"2018-03-03 14:26:44"
Blowing the Whistle on Spiritual Teachers, Gurus and Self Help Experts - Teal Swan -
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"2018-02-24 12:56:33"
Will Healing Ever End? - Teal Swan
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"2018-02-22 16:50:19"
Christ Consciousness vs. Modern Christianity (Understanding Love and Fear)
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"2018-02-17 14:48:37"
What is Healing? - Teal Swan -
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"2018-02-15 16:16:57"
How to talk to and Understand an Extreme Liar - Teal Swan
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"2018-02-11 14:37:11"
When The Only Way To Be OK is to NOT Be OK - Teal Swan
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"2018-02-07 21:28:59"
How to Talk to Your Pain (Alternative Healing Method) - Teal Swan - Online Synchronization Workshop
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"2018-02-03 17:45:02"
Do You Make Relationships A Task? - Teal Swan -
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"2018-02-01 21:08:25"
The Volatility and Future of Cryptocurrency with Teal Swan
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"2018-01-27 15:35:43"
Is It Your Decision Or Not? - Freedom in Relationships - Teal Swan
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"2018-01-25 20:15:11"
The Problem with the Justice System - Teal Swan - L.A. Synchronization Workshop
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"2018-01-20 16:46:42"
There Is No Such Thing as Self Sabotage - Teal Swan
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"2018-01-18 04:03:48"
Fragmentation and Relationships - L.A. Synchronization Workshop - Teal Swan
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"2018-01-13 15:09:36"
The Real Reason Relationships Fail (Seeing Their Reality) - Teal Swan
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"2018-01-10 21:48:05"
Relationship Exercise to Understanding Presence in Relationships - L.A. Synchronization Workshop
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"2018-01-06 18:26:56"
Awareness Exercise - Teal Swan
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"2018-01-04 06:11:00"
How to Get What You Want - Teal Swan (LA Synchronization Workshop)
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"2017-12-30 15:07:47"
The Real Holy Trinity (Mind, Body, Heart) Explained - Teal Swan
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"2017-12-28 19:25:41"
Financial Abundance (Repairing Your Vibration Around Money) Teal Swan Synchronization Workshop
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"2017-12-23 19:34:35"
How To Get In The Flow State - (Getting Rid of Resistance and Into The Zone)
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"2017-12-21 01:13:05"
How to Process Anger and How to Set Your Personal Boundaries - Synchronization Workshop
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"2017-12-16 16:02:06"
Thought Is a Sense (The Realization That Can Change Your Life) - Teal Swan
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"2017-12-13 22:41:36"
Working with Depression (Exercise to Process Depression) - Teal Swan
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"2017-12-09 14:37:32"
Playing it Forward - Teal Swan
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"2017-12-02 16:14:44"
Oneness is Not the Ultimate Truth of the Universe - Teal Swan -
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"2017-11-25 14:20:10"
Your Definition of Love is Wrong - Teal Swan -
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"2017-11-20 15:02:46"
Teal Swan Los Angeles Synchronization Workshop - 9th December 2017
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"2017-11-18 18:00:30"
The Castration Dynamic - Teal Swan
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"2017-11-12 00:04:04"
The Silence Technique (Putting People On Mute) - Teal Swan
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"2017-11-10 21:39:12"
Teal Swan Los Angeles Synchronization Workshop - 9th December 2017
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"2017-11-04 16:35:35"
Find Your Subconscious Core Life Commitment - Teal Swan
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"2017-10-30 20:30:23"
Teal Swan Answers To The Allegations Made Against Her (Exposed, Fraud, Fake, Scam)
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"2017-10-28 18:49:27"
Fear of Intimacy (How to Overcome Your Fear of Intimacy) - Teal Swan
\\intimacy is the most important part of any feel good connected relationship intimacy can be broken down into into me see but intimacy is much more than that it's not just seeing in the somebody it's also feeling in the somebody listening into them and becoming an expert on them to the degree that you completely understand them it's to comprehend a person's internal world most of us we think about intimacy were just thinking about sex sex can be a by product of intimacy but you can have intimacy without sex mmhm and some people many people part terrified of intimacy the basic number one thing that they avoid there's a reason for this they may be terrified the names Mrs can lead to something that feels bad for example we might be terrified that if we let someone really see the truth of us still not tolerated or accepted if they know the truth of us they may use it against us later if they know our weaknesses vulnerabilities they can capitalize on them toward detriment conversely for their own best interest if they know what we really want they can use that as leverage to control us if they give us closeness we may feel like we're obligated make them happy in return which is a kind of trapped indebtedness so we've lost our freedom as a result if they find out things about us they might judges batter wrong they might increase our shame abandon reject us if we let the men they might find a way to engulf us completely so we don't even have ourselves at all we need to spend sometime imagining being completely close to someone and having no distance between ourselves and the other person so that they can see feel hear and understand us and be permanently connected to us and see what deep imprint of fear arises as a result when a child is born it is born with a natural need and compulsion to be close to connected to together with its parents so what goes wrong in order for us to develop a fear of intimacy it means that there is trauma that we experienced when we try to get that closeness someone how apparent response to being wanted needed by a child as well as how the parent uses this need for closeness for their own aims dictates how safe closeness and intimacy is or isn't if we have a fear of intimacy our parents either dismissed our neediness of them in chambers for it and are used are needed this against us a key feature and households that develop adults that have a fear of intimacy is that the child's emotions are responded to with an attitude of I will not tolerate you so it's not just about feelings it's about I'm not going to tolerate your truth I won't tolerate your ideas I'm not gonna tolerate how you feel I'm not going to tolerate your reality in this type of a household the way that a child feels what they think the things they want is perceived by the parent as a challenge he is an example let's say the little kid is getting ready for school in the morning and really start to show signs of distress because they don't want to go to school how this type of household the kind that creates intimacy issues when that child responds to going to school in a negative manner their truth is I don't want to go to school what the parents going to do is not tolerate that feeling that perception what they're going to do is turn against it now this parrot either dismisses it entirely ignores it or minimizes it that's ridiculous it's okay everything's fine or this parrot is gonna turn in opposition to it and maybe they'll say something like well you have to go to school it doesn't matter what you think we all have to go to school your sisters and brothers had to go to school this is just how it is can I get ready the message the child gets is that the way here she feels thinks as well as what she or he wants or doesn't want is invalid shameful and is in direct conflict with the parents feelings thoughts and desires the message here is can't have you and have me too because our truce conflicting I'm the adult so you're wrong in bed so the singer ridiculous this is we decide that the parent must be right the sake of ending the terror we feel to be in conflict the parent that were dependent on who is the god of our reality we traded this owner feelings thoughts and desires and idolize the parent because viewing them negatively overwhelms us with anxiety our own personal truth is swallowed by them in the same way that a prey animals followed by a predator and we allow this to happen it is a strategy to try to keep yourself safe from conflict and keep ourselves from being abandoned but we feel swallowed we feel engulfed and we lose our souls another common form of intolerance for a child's emotions that leads to a fear of intimacy and then some interesting results in adulthood happens when the child expressing their thoughts or desires our emotions actually causes a collapse in the parent no if the parent is addictive or how some other type of mental illness or even is just going through grief deep enough that they can't honestly emotionally face the task of parenthood been the child literally believes that if they impose any of themselves the way they feel the way they think the things they want on their parents it will cause them to fall down to die so basically that person will withhold all of the trees themselves how they feel what they want what they think everything so as to preserve the well being of the parent and they take this pattern on into their adult lives so often the case in households where a parent is suicidal the child learns to never share the negative feelings because if they do it may push their parent or the edge of cause and kill themselves what we have to understand is that if in our childhood or need for our parents as well as our feelings desires and thoughts are not tolerated by our parents were by the people in our environment we will develop a fear of intimacy we will learn never to share the reality of who we are with anyone else we don't let that man we don't offer cells to them now that's bad enough because it means that you can't actually have a relationship or connection with anybody but the most awful part of this pattern is in order to live like that we have to disconnect from our own personal truth as well we have to separate ourselves off from the way that we feel the way that we think the desires that we have in our needs for other people because we've already learned that they're not to be tolerated what does this look like in your day to day life you disconnect from your feelings so you don't have to feel them you disconnect from your thoughts so you don't have to recognize those thoughts you disconnect from your body so you don't have to feel it you disconnect from desires and you go with the flow or you isolate yourself one thing we have to accept if this is our experience in life is that our heart is broken it was broken a long long time ago and we haven't been able to heal because we hadn't found a way to resolve deep deep pain of never being seen never being felt never being heard never being understood and never being wanted closeness inevitably involves vulnerability how obviously vulnerability is the number one thing that you're trying to avoid if you have a fear of intimacy because what did we learn it's not okay to have feelings it's not okay to have desires based off of those feelings and so we're looking to avoid anything that induces those feelings and vulnerability is the one that induces the majority of those feelings for us so we are literally Inc thorn avoidance of all that could possibly be looking like ability in the scenario closeness is to be avoided at all costs even though closeness is our most suppressed in desperate need now here's another thing we can't dismiss our own needs feelings and desires without doing the same to other people around us we don't want to see or feel deeply understand someone because this brings up these deep feelings of unfairness that we have to accept and tolerate and take care of someone else but they will not give us the same treatment return just like in childhood for this reason the people involved with those who fear intimacy feels if they're not seen not heard not felt not understood they will feel like the person who fears intimacy doesn't see the obvious ways that they hurt other people or do anything to remedy the situation the person who fears intimacy seems to be completely void of empathy because the truth is here she is not connected to the other person enough to perceive their feelings or thoughts or needs or desires enough to even have empathy so if you're struggling with the fear of intimacy this is how to approach that fear step one get in touch with your emotions your emotions are like a compass they're always telling you about your internal troops your personal truth so if you're thinking of farm your mirror it will always be the way you feel they're gonna tell you exactly where you stand at all moments of the day it doesn't really matter whether the feelings are reflective of a thought or perception that's accurate or not feelings themselves are always an accurate reflection your emotions are the doorway to figuring out what she won life what direction to go what's keeping you from that not being in touch with your emotions in life is similar to being stranded in a foreign wilderness with no compass for this reason I want you to watch my video titled how to feel learn how to start feeling let me to feel after having delivered the cut off for your motions begins with the conscious choice and decision that you want to feel now I know that some of you were intimacy folks may consciously Bielecki I wanna feel I'm I'm good with that let's learn that no but by far the majority views like you know that's dangerous so you got to be aware of that aspect of you that doesn't want because like I said learning how to feel begins with the decision that she wanted that point you start slowly and once you learn what feelings are having you then practice communicating that to the other people in your life consider this a process of re owning your personal truth 2 you gotta discovered the part one or multiple better actually fueling this issue the ones that want nothing to do with connection the most avoiding aspects of you the ones that are like nope not getting close close isn't known those types of parts you have to find them once you find them you've got to feeling to them see into them listen to them understand them and meet the needs that they have basically what you're doing is giving that part that fears intimacy the intimacy that it never got from the people who created its issue in the for from this space that part of you will tell you what you need to do and what it needs other people to do in order for to allow for intimacy in its life as I understand how to do this processor to find parts within yourself I want you to watch my video title fragmentation the worldwide disease 3 make a dedicated practice of noticing social cues I know that sounds like a funny thing but here's what happens when you don't believe that any of you is going to be accepted or tolerated so you basically close yourself off in a little bubble what happens is that people who fear intimacy live in a kind of self centered sphere it does you no good to notice all of the things that are going on with other people you can't have that connection it's dangerous anyways and obviously this creates a kind of negative patter you decided you could never be acknowledged by them or be supported by them to you too and other people out this means you either ignore or dismiss subtle and not so subtle cues from other people all the time but the reason this is a vicious cycle is because it makes the world and intimacy more dangerous when you don't pick up on social cues in other people and so you don't adjust your behavior according to the social cues what happens is that you become dangerous to other people so let's pretend that somebody has just barely lost somebody that they love if you're not really attuned to the fact that they are giving you all kinds of social cues that they're in a state of grief because you're walled off you may be the person who walks in and says Hey it was so gloomy it's a great day outside why is it like that I don't like it actually use it like that you shouldn't have sent me worry we 3 drag me down see so so years your own behavior didn't just according to the social cues that you perceived so what what is this create it creates a scenario where everyone's gonna look at you like that is a fucking asshole right there and what do people do when they make that decision if you're the bad guy now you're the one the threat that means all of the aspects of them that want to protect themselves against you come up that means they're not gonna take your best interests at heart because it's obvious you don't think there's to interest so basically the world gets even more unsafe for you which actually fuels your belief that's causing you to withdrawn not be intimate in the first place the more you know the social cues so as to respond to them in a way that makes people feel safe near you the more they will want to take care of your needs and personal truth and best interests so throughout your day in every social interaction practice reading their emotions and checking in with them about whether what you are perceiving is accurate or not for you've gotten notice your disconnection with people wanted a curse notice that feeling like you're just a brain that doesn't even know heart Thomas like it disconnected head it's wandering all over the place you're not even really somebody that has a body at that point that sensation which you usually don't notice is an indication that you have disconnected another really good indication is if you've disconnected from an aspect of yourself other people in your exterior life will become the carrier of that aspect so here's what I mean let's say that you felt rage in your body and you disconnected from that and so you're now the sort of floating kind of a brain at this moment and disconnection likelihood is the other person is going to now amplified because they're the carrier of your rage so when you see people in your life screaming at you and this is the kind of movement they're doing probably a good indication you're disconnected at this moment to elaborate on this notice how other people are responding to you with anxiety neediness and rage rage is a call for a motion for powerlessness happen because you are disconnecting from your own feelings of anxiety neediness and fear in this moment you feel the by disconnecting from the other person who you perceive to be causing those feelings you can escape from the feelings themselves obviously this makes them become the carrier of your suppressant disowned emotions in that moment and they will become even more anxious because you are making them responsible for both their own anxiety and yours so when this happens choose to drop into an feel the feelings of anxiety powerlessness and neediness that you're trying to avoid you are terrified of strong negative emotions force yourself not to distract yourself or leave the physical vicinity of the other person and choosing instead to drop inside yourself and let yourself feel these feelings underneath the disconnection is the only real way not to create a vicious spiral of lost connection with the person who you genuinely want to be connected with 5 with a willing partner who actually does want to do with mom and dad never one to do which is to be with you when you dropped into the truth of yourself you can have a rehabilitative experience where when you drop into the way you feel the anxiety the neediness powerlessness and even the rage that person can sit and be there with you without needing huge change they can receive your truth that's genuine intimacy so isn't it interesting you can even learn intimacy by somebody being present with your avoidance of intimacy 6 you gotta commit to a path of authenticity if you have a fear of intimacy you have not been authentic you have lived your life in the exact opposite state trying to be authentic around your parents which is an intimate thing because you're trusting some of the truth if you had consequences but notice the pain involved in living in an authentic life annoyance then once wrote and the day came when the pain it took to stay tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to do them the question for yourself is are you tired yet is it too painful yet has that they arrived if it has I am begging you to watch my video titled how to be authentic 7 your fear of intimacy has made it so you prioritize things that don't require you to go towards those emotions that intimacy stirs this means that you gotta check your actual priorities you may be saying my priority is my relationship sorry most of your energy is going into hobbies or obsessive work anything where you feel confidence and don't have to feel vulnerability don't have to feel need of other people that's where your attention is actually going and this is the thing if you're going to develop a genuine connection or relationship that actually does have to be your priority you can fit is so things into your life by all means people do it all the time but you gotta know where your priorities lie because I'm a guarantee you that if you get into a pinch and you were with a partner and you say my priority is work your lose in that relationship a life of achievement is absolutely useless if you have no one to share that life with what you really want need this connection closeness to be truly seen felt heard and understood by someone you need to see that you can be loved for who you are not for what you can do or for what you can achieve or accomplish 8 notice how positive feelings trigger you almost more the negative feelings this means when you do have that close and so when it may look like you actually have a sense of togetherness or you ever gonna get triggered the reason you're gonna get trigger is it conflicts with your entire reality it conflicts is what you think is possible and what you know about yourself you're gonna feel suspicion and distrust for the other person this is gonna unwittingly triggered that deep seated feeling that you developed in childhood that who you were was not tolerated as a result it arouses all of that pain to get away from the pain of that trigger you will disconnect from those feelings entry problems are tension in the relationship you're in or push the person who is loving you away if you have this pattern of fear of intimacy guaranteed the people in your life feels super freaking confused by you because it seems like everything's going wonderful were so close and suddenly there's a problem suddenly in getting pushed away and then when I go away suddenly you're chasing me it's that classic pushing pull relationship 9 face your shame shame is the root of a fear of intimacy why because who you are are those internal feelings thoughts desires needs that's who makes up who you are in this life and that was not to be tolerated so if you learned that what else are you to decide others on who you are as bad wrong in this not to be tolerated that's shame that's what it is that's the definition for this reason I want you to watch my videos titled how to overcome Shane and the number one relationship off school and how to dissolve it 10 be aware of when you are pushing people away I want you to play a game with the people in your life given full permission when they feel like you're doing the push away either through an action or something you're saying you're doing or not doing let them voice it to you have to become aware of when you're doing this I'm sorry to break it to you but if you have a fear of intimacy it's impossible for you to be a super self aware person because you had to push away your feelings your thoughts your desires your motives any awareness about you the truth if you so you're gonna have to accept that and realize that you're going to be continuously learning about yourself and re owning your truth and part of that is seeing what you're actually doing to people self awareness is the key to recognizing your behaviors before they are acted out in damaging relationships 11 if you fear intimacy but you want a good relationship you're going to have to commit to becoming an expert on the other person the person you're in a relationship with go usually be the first to start this with and this is going to be the case eventually with all the people in your life but pick one person you need to become expert on this person you've gotta understand them look into them really want to know their internal world to such an incredible degree that you get them completely the house a bit of risk you're willing to take and a commitment you're ready to make 12 I want you to make consistent practice the connection process in the connection process you're going to be actually journeying into somebody else's internal world and they are going to be joining into your internal world I teach you how to do this in my video that's titled how to connect with someone 13 discover your needs and even though it's scary cada express your needs to other people even if you can't do this directly you've gotta take your needs and you've got to put them in the center of the relationship so that people can choose when and how to meet them if you can't express your needs directly I have a solution for you you can write them down on a piece of paper put them somewhere in the house or send them to your friends so that they can receive those needs and choose to meet those needs what happens when we don't trust that anyone's going to meet our needs because we've already learned that our needs will not be tolerated is that we now have only 2 options either we go completely without our needs in which case we starve most of us can do that ori manipulate to get our needs met so instead of expecting a person to meet those needs are manipulating them to meet those needs surrendered to the vulnerability of letting other people meet those needs because they want to and because your happiness is their happiness when you were younger needs were not met with warmth and consistency your knees were either not mad at all or were met with inconsistency anger and resentment and often with strings attached you learn not to depend on others to meet your needs but the swing between manipulating them to meet your needs and meeting them all by yourself you need to let yourself have the experience of having your needs met by others because it brings them pleasure to do so 14 except if you are starting from scratch you have no freaking idea how to have a good intimate close committed relationship with another person and that's okay but what I want you to do is literally wipe the slate clean just admit I have no freaking clue how to do this and from scratch start learning one by one how to be close how to be committed how to stay with this person so that were connected and not pull away become okay with throwing your old paradigms away if you're an intimacy folk chances are your concept about how to keep a relationship together should be thrown away 15 become comfortable with vulnerability the foundation of a good relationships vulnerability the more tolerant of vulnerability that you are and the discomfort it causes the closer that you will be able to be with people and the less you will push them away vulnerability is not a weakness instead it involves great courage to be willing to be vulnerable if you can choose to acknowledge and share your vulnerability in the situations of coke by pushing people away creating conflict disconnecting you can remain connected to the person you want to be connected with you can bring resolve to what is real you can meet needs that are real you can make relationships feel good again 16 what you gotta recognize is that you meet other people in the same way that your parents met you you gotta recognize that you're doing this what that means is you are meeting other people's feelings thoughts desires and needs including the need for you with intolerance if you can remember how painful that was you can recognize what you needed instead and provide that experience to other people I want you to imagine in this will be easier if you have an issue of connecting with people that every time you provide for the other person this not only tolerance but acceptance and love for whatever they're presenting to you it is the same as doing a lot for your inner child the one that was so hurt by that in the first so it's not possible for you to provide intimacy for the people without also rehabilitating the aspect of you that was so hurt by not having intimacy is an act of courage and I want to remind you that courage implies fear you can't have courage in the absence of fear so you're going to be scared you're gonna be scared the high heaven when you have a fear of intimacy and you're trying to develop it you gotta be okay with the fact that you're gonna feel fear don't try to escape from the fear bring that into the damn relationship with you the good news is if you have found a partner that really wants to be intimately connected with you when you bring yourself into the center of that relationship your truths your feelings your desires your need for them and they're allowed to do the same to you you have found resolution for what you suffer from as a child you will have a genuine experience of somebody really wanting you and wanting you to feel good because it brings them pleasure to see you feel good //
"2017-10-25 16:49:59"
Teal Swan Answers To The Allegations Made Against Her (Exposed, Fraud, Fake, Scam)
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"2017-10-21 15:37:18"
Non Reactivity (A Doorway For Spiritual Abuse) - Teal Swan -
\\there are many ways of spirituality can turn abusive spiritual beliefs can be used to justify abuse a coverup abuse and even be abusive in and of themselves I'm gonna be talking about these abusive friendly dynamics over the course of my career at length but today I'm gonna start with one and that is the abuse in the spiritual field surrounding the concept of reactivity mmhm most people in the world and even in the spare do not differ and she Trina reaction and the actions that are inspired from arena they're lumped into the same category let me give you an example if you see a nasty comment for someone posted on your social media post you may immediately react with feelings of being hurt feeling shame flushing red feeling anger in the impulse to fight back this is a reaction if you act on impulse by posting a meme comment back that is an action that was inspired by the reaction we need to make the distinction between reactions and actions inspired by reactions it doesn't take a genius to see that reactions can cause a lot of problems on the planet earth for example let's say that a wife cheats on her husband he gets so jealous that's his reaction the heathen murders his wife nobody's gonna look and be like oh that was gin reactivity can lead to dangerous things and if we've been hurt in the past by people becoming reactive then it's easy for us to throw out reactivity with the bath water in make all reactions in reactivity not okay traditional spiritual gurus have perfected the persona into the world of being individuals who either have no reactivity or who have entirely master their reactivity they set the standard of not only what's expected of any master teacher but also the standard of what being a perfect human is therefore our idea of what we all strive to be and must be in order to be perfectly loved is non reactive we imagine that in the state of non reactivity we're constantly open unconditionally loving and perfectly in control of ourselves the bottom line is if we subscribe to these ideas and face non reactivity is what we expect from ourselves as well as each other so what if I told you today that you can't actually control your initial primary reactions feelings don't exist inside of a vacuum the only arise as a result of something else this means feelings are always towards something or about something when you came into this world you were in essence engaging in the world through primarily felt purse you came and dealt with the capacity to perceive as well as reflexes one of these reflexes which is really common most people know about us the moral reflex you see this in infants where when you hold them on their back with their hands loose the instantly react as if they are falling that reactivity is not something that the infant can actually control the nervous system is going to take over it doesn't matter what the cognitive mind is going to say or not say here's another example the child does not have to think about being abandoned with the consequences of abandonment when mom goes away it simply has a reaction to that separation and cries out for its mother for her to come back that's another example of a reaction what we're dealing with here is cause and effect can you imagine expecting a dog to not react when it's kit can you imagine poking a C. enemy with the stick and expecting it not to close up can you imagine expecting a baby calf not to create when it loses its mother in a field unless you are disconnected dissociated you will have a reaction to things in the world it's called being alive her reactions also happen in direct proportion to what we've already experienced in our life so it's really common to hear people talking about how someone overreacted actually there is no such thing as over reaction there's only ever reactions in direct proportion to what we previous experience before we do this all the time though when someone reacts in a way that we wouldn't have reacted if we were in the same place but guess what you didn't have the same experience obviously and I love using the scenario but it's really really good to use let's say that we're in July 4 party in there are fireworks going off somebody's freaking out reacting as if to getting shot at we mingled Kathy in those overreaction but what if you knew that that person was at war what if you knew that the person was reacting in direct proportion to what they were perceiving having occurred I need you to understand that there's no such thing as an over reaction your experience is becoming coated in your nervous system your nervous system then reacts accordingly for this reason I want you to watch my video titled drama how to avoid drama in drama queens the most abusive hallmark of an abusive home environment usually those of us who are familiar with dysfunctional home dynamics this takes place in the home with a narcissist what will happen is that the narcissist usually will inflict some kind of injury they'll do something now the person who reacts to that something is then made the bad guy so it's not what I did it's how you reacted that's the problem if you years back I was working with a woman who grew up in this type of a dynamic with a severely abusive man now in this particular memory just to give you a picture of how this goes she was tied to a hitching post and this man who was abusing her in her childhood was forcibly raping her the forces of rape cost her to have a bloody nose when he got done raping her and he noticed the fact that she was not only crying but having a bloody nose it's not the fact that he raped her that was the problem is the fact that she's so weak for having a bloody nose and crying I'm gonna tell you a reality of our physical universe which is not really something that most people who are spiritual want to accept we live in a universe by some because of the fact now I know that I can get highly complicated in the quantum universe but here's the thing someone punches you hard enough in the nose it's bleeding guess what if someone sets up to punch you you're gonna flinch you're gonna feel ahead of adrenaline so you can understand the potential spiritual abuse that can take place when we make an enemy of reactivity altogether I want you to I want you to pretend that I walk up to you and I punch you in the nose and it starts bleeding and then I go while something was seriously wrong with you because your nose is bleeding right now if you need to get that handles Peter should take you to see someone in spiritual communities we are doing this to ourselves and to each other all we can't turn the shame of having done something that caused the negative reactions so we immediately make the person wrong for having a negative reaction and even more wrong for any action inspired from that negative reaction in this is called shame deflection to learn more about this dynamic of shame deflection I ask you to watch my videos titled the flexion the coping mechanism from hell and the number one relationship popsicle and how to dissolve it if people refuse to feel their own shame they can't take responsibility this is true if someone is perpetually in the victim role to escape responsibility or if someone is doing something to hurt others and will not accept that fact and thus makes the victim the one to blame for his or her reaction I'm gonna give you a tiny and I mean infinitesimal little tiny piece of an example of how this works in spiritual communities we expect ourselves and each other to have no reaction when someone betrays us it's just a part of class betraying us and so huge focus on that you won't get mad back we expect ourselves and each other to have no reaction horrible memories are triggered cast it's not now if we can just be in the now we won't feel those feelings we expect ourselves and each other to have no reaction when someone says something painful to us Tracy them with compassion instead they would be doing it they wouldn't even worse pay we expect ourselves and each other have no reaction when we lose our loved ones snow death and if you feel a loss conclusion do you see how this goes yet I can make list 5000 miles long about how spiritual beliefs are used to suppress reaction to make reaction wrong they're used to shame if you have a reaction in other words if you have a reaction you're falling short of the standard of human perfection and something is wrong with you how many times in social circles have you heard the following statements how people treat you is their karma and how you react is your car or it's not what happens it's how you respond to it or how you react emotionally is your responsibility like I said it genuinely takes a frigging idiot to not see that our reactivity if it goes completely unchecked and 4 I'm aware of it specifically that can lead to some seriously damaging ends nobody's arguing with that but what I'm here to present to you today is the real danger in making an enemy of reactivity we can use these teachings to avoid looking and owning the impact we have on others completely that can lead to a wickedly painful world one where as if it's not bad enough that we did something had negative impact on someone and hurt them we also make them feel like something is wrong with them for feeling better getting hurt or having a negative reaction when we did that thing we can use these police to completely avoid serious and looking at what we're doing to other people and what we need to do differently we can use these beliefs to shame ourselves on top of our pain which creates even more reactivity aside from the obvious external world of pain we can create through doing this what I'm really concerned about is that we can create an atmosphere of such incredible toxic shame and self blame by doing this if we have this attitude that reactions are not okay we will make an enemy of our emotions that's what will happen so as if it's not bad enough that they are occurring in guess what you can't help that what will happen is that on top of it you'll feel like something is really bad messed up about you for that in other words every time you have a negative reaction to something you'll believe you're bad and wrong for having it or that something needs to be fixed about you if you've had the reaction therefore instead of being able to address the very valid reaction you had you will immediately unconsciously invalidated so this is how this works you have a painful reaction all people do if you kick a dog is not going to feel good so there's that negative feeling if you have the judgment that it's not okay to have a reaction to something than all of that it's not okay this needs to be fixed I'm not a good person because I had that reaction slides over the top kind of like ice over water now the only way to actually deal with your reactivity is what we need to be doing not getting away from reactivity we need to be caretaking reactivity you can't actually get down into it if you do that instead you're resting over the ice kind of fighting with the ice and there's nothing you can do to make yourself feel better the shame will in essence suppress our reaction but the pressure of that will cause so much pain that will either exploded collapse and so often we overreact quote unquote in emotional crisis or have an emotional breakdown this is the tormenting process that is occurring within us these beliefs lead to bigger reactions instead of smaller ones I have to mention at this point that if this is a chronic pattern in your childhood it's a guarantee that the caretakers you had in your life couldn't own that they ever costs and negative reaction within you these were people who couldn't on their own shame so what happened when they inflicted some kind of pain that caused you to have a negative reaction they meet you the problem for having the reaction the took no responsibility for causing it and instead decided the negative reaction was not could not possibly be warranted if any of you suffer from bulimia or were cutters were diagnosed with borderline personality disorder you can think this pattern for a lot of it I know that if many of you are watching this and you've already made an enemy of reactivity than you're almost getting triggered when I'm talking because what you're thinking is on my gosh I'm just going to condone reactive abuse so for example if we condone reactivity all we're going to do is say fine it's okay to just get mad murder people revenge is fine and all of this type of highly abusive stuff is fine that's why you want to make an enemy of reactivity in the first place right because you think that's where the world is headed if you make it okay again I want to say that we have to separate out the concept of reaction from the action that that reaction inspires and stop judging reaction was not okay you've got to accept that you're going to have a reaction doesn't matter whether you want to or not and then initial reaction was gonna occurred a much more primal level far below your capacity to cognitively understand something so as to stop it in the process curry and at that level there is no such thing as overreacting if we accept this then we meet our reactivity we have to begin to care take our reactions as if there's a real reason for the reaction a real reaction that was either caused triggered by someone else this is the real responsibility we have is a face it as if it is valid because it is if we think in the victim mode we avoid taking responsibility for caretaker our pain which might not only involve finding ways to heal and feel better but also asking a person to change behavior towards us if we sink into the opposite which ashamed for having a reaction to being hurt we also take no responsibility for caretaking are very real reaction every reaction that you have is valid and real because it's coming from a real place the question is what is that place as long as your life you're gonna have reactions and so was everyone else expecting yourself to read a terrible comment somebody has put on your Facebook wall and have no reaction is super super damaging expecting yourself to lose a loved one not really feel grief deftly not long really really abusive if we can see these initial reactions is valid in real so as to not add shame on top of them we can figure out what that reaction is telling us about our troops in the moment and about our past unresolved pain and about what we actually need in this moment we can use them to become more aware we can address them like we would address real wounds and by doing that the actions we take towards others as a result of our reaction will actually change if a trigger is the blame in the situation where you're having a reaction to something that somebody else is doing it probably isn't their fault in that moment that you're feeling the way that you're feeling but that doesn't make the way that you're feeling in the reaction you're having not okay and not valid it is absolutely valid so blaming them for the trigger isn't fair but neither is expecting yourself not to have it or tell yourself that something's sicker wrong with you because you have it or telling yourself the because this is a trigger you shouldn't have the reaction towards the new situation so let's pretend that a dog who was battered goes to a new home in that new home a super loving you don't look at the dog it's a ... should be having that reaction is ridiculous this just to trigger even though it's in a loving home no it's gonna be of really really intense process of rehabilitation the needs to take place so we're not doing this with dogs why are we doing this with each other we have the tendency of believing that if we just changed our perspective we changed our perceptions of what's occurring or change the way we were thinking over enlightened enough we wouldn't have reactions in the first place can you see that this puts you at war with reactions in the first place you can't take care of something you don't think should be there in the first place you're not going to be able to meet something with compassion if you're judgmental towards it in the first place you're already pushing away so how can you pull it close enough to explore it examined caretaker I realize I'm beating a dead horse here plus if you have a reaction in this very real in the same way that if someone walked up to hit your leg with a lead pipe in a broke you wouldn't be like oh my gosh I don't know what's going wrong couldn't possibly happen this way no actually it would be exactly in order with the reaction that we'd expect your leg to have to being hit with a metal pipe but it works the same way the motions we have to look at that because we have to look at what it caused us to feel in our bodies and feel emotionally and what it calls the stuff think we have to ask what is is letting us know about what we need we need to meet those needs and this includes communicating needs that we have to people around us action actually comes after reaction we have made an enemy of reactions because we confuse actions that are taken as a result of a reaction as a reaction we can intercept this chain from reaction to action but we need to stop expecting our souls to intercept this chain from external event 2 reaction because let's just be honest for a good few tile your reaction is always legitimate so what I want you to do is to let your altering exceptions let your exploring of your emotions and all of those types of steps you would usually take to try to avoid reaction in the first place instead be away of caretaking or taking care of the reaction I heard if we wanna learn to intercept the chain between reaction and action we have to do is to stop trying to intercept chain between action that happened in the reaction we had to here's the thing if we're making an enemy of reactions you don't even have to say anything people can feel it in your energy field if you act like a reaction is not legitimate it will escalate the situation people will be 1000 times more likely to take an act cause a serious impact from a reaction that is treated as if it's not legitimate any reaction you have can be used as a tool to access more awareness about your personal truth him universal truth but beware of expecting yourself to not have a reaction in the first place and it's especially beware of feeling shame having a reaction //
"2017-10-14 12:33:21"
Cut the Invisible Strings (How to De-Attach From Manipulation in Relationships) - Teal Swan
\\to love is to take something else yourself no it's impossible for there not to be estimate connectedness when we do this it's impossible when you take something as yourself to not care about its needs do not know them so as to meet them the let's be honest most of us didn't grow up in this type of a situation if we did were damn lucky in probably don't need to be watching this video probably should just get to have other people in our lives it should be watching this video but art for the rest of us who basically did not grow up in this type of situation nobody took this is part of themselves so nobody could actually consider our best interests and meet our best interests the meter it mmhm you those of us fortunate enough to end up in that type of the situation in childhood then we form connections in the same way that a spider forges a web to catch flies people who are not loved feel lovable for who they are they live in a permanent tornal atmosphere shame as a result love as a gift seems impossible someone simply wanting to be connected to a seems impossible someone wanting to give to us because it makes them happy to see us happy isn't possible instead we have to get love by giving some our love becomes completely transactional we don't even realize that this is happening we think it's love but here's where it gets really really is gritty if our self esteem is poor enough we don't actually believe we have something of value to give someone enough that they would want to give us something back sore transactional nature takes a drastic downward spiral in which we feel like we actually have to trap people into giving us what we need many households around the globe regardless of what culture these households belong to parent without love the parent in the way that a spider catches flies but I'm gonna have to get you to understand the way this happens and so I'm gonna have to pick the cultures that are perhaps the very most like this the Asian culture in the Indian culture so that you can understand I'm going to give you a highlight from the Indian culture picks up to generalize in this culture a person is not really seen as unique individuals free will and their own purpose who exists to be loved and unable to follow her own path a person in this culture is seen as a thing that belongs to their family and to society and that by virtue of being born in the first place here she is already in debt to the family in society and will repay that debt through serving whatever role and identity has been decided for them in these kinds of homes apparent often believe they're sacrificing everything for their child one factor not sacrificing anything they're simply wearing the facade of sacrifice of the contract their children was shame and guilt in the sense that they owe their parents in some way the things these parents give always calm with invisible strings attached they're always giving in order to get back they're engaged in a transaction that the child did not even agreed to in the first place they're simply putting the child the state of debt to them they're giving things to this child simply so that they can get things back from the child any time the child does something that this pleases them the child's debts the things the parents have done for them are hung over the child's head so as to get the child to surrender their free will in conformity to with the parent wants this parents give their time to a child potential even give up their own dreams to get the sensation of being good and righteous and receive gratitude and praise from others in this way their murders these parents put a roof over their children's had to get loyalty alliance these parents feed their children to guarantee that they will be taken care of by their children when their children are grown and they're elderly these parents give their children opportunities of they can gain status these parents say I love you could look at everything I do for you but the reality is that it doesn't feel like love because it isn't it's a spider web that the children have been trapped so you can understand the horror of growing up in this type of a family and you don't have to be part of these 2 cultures like highlighted in order to be part of this type of the family what happens here is that any time the child except something the parent does for them which by the way the child can't not do because it's dependent on the parents an invisible strings attached so by the time this person is an adult string string string string string until this child is so controlled there are massive consequences for not complying transactional love in the twisted web that weaves is a human epidemic on the planet today it's present in any type of love classic dysfunctional home with the presence of the narcissus in a co dependent type dynamic this is not a household of love so it's really funny to me when I walk inside these kinds of households because so many of them have these plaques on the wall Leeson America plaques say there's great love in this home in really it's like somebody should take the plaque off the wall scratching often right there is a great manipulation in this house and home hang it is the family implement the house I talk about manipulation and links what creates a one of my videos that I strongly encourage you to watch it is called meet your needs one of the biggest problems with being raised in a transactional type of love relationship the child was he grew up to believe that there's no of love that exists this becomes your platform proud how the relationship you don't even see the minute things out of order we basically approach every relationship her life as if it's a business deal but it's a lot more dysfunctional than a business deal because the strings that are attached are invisible set of visible if I do this then they'll do this our whole life is tit for tat now when we enter into a business type of relationship we expect this I will give you this and you will give me that but that's transparent is the transparent nature of these business relationships that we don't do in our private life that makes it so incredibly dangerous we basically have all kinds of writing that's not even written down you know it's not even about the fine print so you get trapped in you get yourself into when you didn't even agree to it up here is where this gets incredibly painful expressions of love are instantly equated with the sensation of owing some no owing someone being in debt is not fun because a subservient position there is no equality in that and so we will naturally avoided at all costs the name of the game if we are in this type of transactional relationship dynamic with people is you keep them in debt to you and not the other way around the one who's in debt is the one who's trapped in a spider's web under the control of the spider you will actually feel worse the more someone is loving towards you each thing they do for you makes you feel more and more unmatched more trapped in the spider's web less and less free more and more in debt eventually like you're gonna have to give away your free will and your desires and your needs in order to repay the debt this is when you're in national trauma kicks in and you have to withdraw to maintain your sense of free will and identity at this point you are the push the other person the way I have to create a situation where the debt is paid off entirely so that you can put them back into to you you're doing this because you learned in your childhood that love equals being trapped those of you who want to believe that the spider's web analogy is just feels way of being extreme explaining things in an extreme way so people understand it think again on an energetic level this is actually the relationship that's occurring spider either simply catches the fly because it flew into the web which is the same thing as a child just being insulae born to a family or because it finds a way to lure the flight in the same way that a person offers thing to someone else but in either scenario there are strings attached either way the flag it stuck to the women the person is trapped in the same way the flyers trapped then the spider feeds off the fly this is the phase with the person gets his or her needs met through the force transaction they're taking what they believe they deserve pollute the person didn't agree to giving us an exchange in the first place for example mother has a child and decides that she's a child to be a professional athlete so she can have status insignificant through that child the transaction is that she will give her hours to drive the child classes and spend money so that the child can become nothing which I'll never agree to this transaction but anytime a child expresses his or her own free will the mother will remind the child here she is trapped into I give all this money and time to you so you could beat this thing you're so selfish we don't make the joke continue to become a professional athlete mother feeds on the status insignificance through the child she is literally eating her child those trapped in her web by virtue of being born to her and having any needs at all I'm also going to explain the forward into this transaction relationship type of dynamic when it comes to love I'm gonna explain in the common pattern if our self esteem is so incredibly low that we don't believe that we can actually offer anything that is of enough value to get a genuine transaction going to functionals that is meant we go a step further we realize that one of the most perfect ways to put some money in debt to us is to rescue them so we become a perpetual rescuer we can be love for who we are so we gotta do something to rescue them now here's the problem when a person gets rescued if we rescued them they naturally start to get better and there's a point at which they start to rehabilitate they start to get on their feet again now when we're in this type of a position we stand to risk the loss of the and so what we have to do we have to put in and out again other words or leave us right we don't have anything valuable enough to offer them so that they stay so what we do is we create a scenario that makes them need rescuing gal and by coming in and rescuing we put them in debt again to us so we're actually creating a situation where they owe us over and over and over and over again that's another type of dysfunctional transactional relationship you will see this pattern chronically an alcoholic homes or homes where a codependent is married someone who's mentally ill you got a person who has a dysfunctional ready and it's a genuine dysfunction so when that person starts to improve it creates terror in the other one and so they actually create scenarios that cause a flare up of either the addiction or the mental illness so was the collapse the person and it's one of the reasons why we're covering is so incredibly hard for a person who's trapped in that type of if somebody tried to collapse somebody who didn't have a dysfunctional ready it wouldn't work the person would immediately feel the pattern a plane would leave the relationship but the person with the dysfunction can't because they have a real genuine problem this kind of desperate dependency is the closest that a person raising the transactional waking field to guarantee that they will never be abandoned they believe that being left by a person without a dysfunction is inevitable because they don't have enough to offer someone who does not desperately need them for the transaction of meeting their needs because they've already learned they can up and love for their if you were raised in this type of home what you aren't aware of that I'm hoping to make you aware of today is that the name of the game in your relationship is get people and that to me we have to have transaction relationships right but the major thing that's destroying your relationships and also your own capacity to feel good because you're gonna for some 2004 hours a day is that you put them in contracts they never agreed to and this is what you're not seen these are sub conscious undisclosed agreements and contracts but you haven't these people one of the reasons you didn't directly express the subcontracts contracts you have with people the strings attached is that you've not consciously aware of them also somewhere deep inside of you the part of you that is aware of them knows that if you expressed lease contracts or expectations directly that no one would agree to them so you need to advocate met so you're just gonna have to get it without their knowledge work without the consent I'm gonna give you some examples you figure out quickly how to meet their needs so that you can guarantee that you will be indispensable for them this is called cooking someone you give up something in your life with the expectation that they give up the same thing for you you show them physical affection with the expectation that they're going to give it back to you you give them freedom of space so you can get that from them you pay for dinner so that you can avoid being in debt to them and said you can put them in the position to you you help amount of time of need by doing something for them so that you can guarantee their alliance and loyalty you do things for them so that you can get appreciation you give them a gift with the expectation that they will never say something bad about you your ... is counting score so using this previous scenario let's say that you give somebody a gift so that you can guarantee that they will never say something bad about you you're basically buying loyalty they didn't know that's what it meant when they took the gift they were saying aunt this means I'm always going to lie to you and I'm never going to say anything bad about you they never agreed to that so obviously because I was in a transaction that they agreed to maybe they talk crap behind your back and now you're like how dare they after what I did there's the expectation you feel betrayed because the trails about a breaking of a presumptive contract however is presumed on your part and never agreed to on their part so doing this with people sets up a recipe for life longer sent basically what I want you to understand as you're doing the same thing to them that your parents to to you when you were a child the roles are reversed you're the parent now trapping the kid in the situation where they're frozen under the weight of now being in debt when they didn't even realize I was situations are getting into by accepting something now here is probably the worst part about this transaction relationship dynamic now that you're in this place where you feel like somebody did you wrong or betrayed you because the transaction wasn't fair on their part you're in a situation where the only way to stay feeling like a good person because of your deep seated feelings of shame and on top of the deck game is to feel like someone has wronged you you have to be in a place where what somebody else did to you was unfair you are dependent on the state of resentment which is being unfairly wrong to escape your deep seated core Shane and you're full of anger and the you most likely can't express because of this dynamic I want you to see what parenting is supposed to look like without this dynamic in this type of a household the parent understands that the child did not ask to be born that's something that the parent decided and what is being given to them by the universe is this precious gift which is not actually there is in the first place it's the universe's gift and they have been charged with the guardianship of this thing and the enabling of it to move in the direction of its own pre determined destiny and a story so this child is like a gift to unwrap to see what it has in its essence in terms of purpose and desire and motive this relationship is partnership not a dictatorship the universe had trusted this parent with scribbled gifts knowing that the partnership between them will lead to the expansion and spiritual progression of both the parent and child this child is meant to be seen by the parent is part of him or her this level naturally inspired the parent to demonstrate his or her love to the child through affection and give some quality time in acts of service and precision when these demonstrations of lover down they are not done to get anything back they're done because it feels good to demonstrate love to something that you love you do not incentive doing something lovely for them feels like doing something lovely for yourself when you've taken some things part of yourself and all beings including children naturally demonstrate love back when they feel reciprocal of which a child always will both parent and child are free and so they are free to love each other and demonstrate this love to each other the child didn't have to do anything for the parent or be anything for the parent to feel this love this is the kind of love you want from your parents and this is the kind of loving relationship you still want the kind with no invisible strings attached having a relationship with no invisible strings attached to you is very dependent upon becoming aware of the subconscious assumptions and expectations that you hold for this reason I ask you to watch my video that is titled priceless relationship advice expectations and assumptions the next thing you have to do is to become aware of these contracts that you were forging on a subconscious level of people before you actually expect them to sign it when do you really want to be giving something with no idea of what you'll get in return notice the betrayal and unfairness you feel in all of your relationships especially when it arises betrayal again is the breaking of a presumptive contract the question is which contract I want you to remember that in a business transaction the reason that often takes so long to settle on the agreement is because the companies go back and forth II until they agreed upon that contract I cannot tell you how fast the company would be brought to lawsuit if what they did is sneak him some kind of agreement that the other party didn't agree to so we can't expect our relationships to go any better than that on emotional level if this is what we're doing now I'm just going to tell you conscious contracts in a relationship something worth like I'll give you this and you give me this it's still painful but it's 10 times better the if you're conscious that it's a transaction that both parties are agreeing to it however what you really wanted wasn't that what you really want is to be loved we really want is for somebody to give you something or to do these loving demonstrations at if the sheer enjoyment of doing that for you because they've taken you as part of the puzzles become aware the discomfort of feeling subservient and in debt when someone does something nice for you feel the pressure of having to even the score to feel free now here's what I want you to do I want you to make a valve that you're not going to do anything for someone if you want something back unless you're gonna be willing to express that expectation die rechte this includes appreciation I really want to focus on this because this is one of the most common societally accepted transactions that we have our subconscious expectations were many appreciation back I don't want you giving to anybody if if that is your expectation next find a place in you that is able to love something so much that you can take it up as part of yourself to the degree that you literally simply feel good when nothing feels good and I don't really care to begin with is the person may not be this may be something like a planter in animal I want you to experience the sensation of not really giving to something because it just makes you so happy to see them feel good the next thing is you have to develop healthy boundaries and you have to give in alignment with those boundaries in a healthy non transactional unconditional loving relationship there is always room for people's boundaries and if there is a need conflict the conversation about the need conflict it's not about you need to give him to me for this reason I ask you to watch my video titled personal boundaries verses oneness how to develop healthy boundaries it is better to acknowledge to somebody or to yourself I don't want to give to this person at all than it is to give something you don't want to give it's better for you it's better for the other person so start to give people what your parents never gave you or other people who are into this transactional dynamic never gave you now I'm going to explain the something transactional based relationships do not work for self esteem long term why because what do you think that your going to think of yourself if the only way that you can possibly get anything from someone else is to give them something worse than that what do you think you're going to think of yourself and the only way to get what you need from somebody because they can't possibly love you enough to take your needs in the consideration trap them into it now here's another thing I want you to notice the ways that you are totally strings attached not unconditional interviewer given do you give yourself a day of rest so you can be more productive and perform tomorrow do you nurture your body or give it what it needs with the expectation that we'll never get sick a breakdown do you let yourself have fun with the expectation that your work to deserve it do you only feel appreciation for yourself when you give yourself an achievement begin to notice the subconscious contracts that you have with yourself notice how they mirror the transactions you have with your parents growing up in practice demonstrations of love toward yourself without any expectation of return from yourself unconditional demonstration of love this is no strings attached is a type of love relationship where we give something without any idea of getting something back we give it out of the pure desire to see somebody feel good in the receiving of it living in the Swiss active extending yourself of vulnerabilities included into uncharted emotional territory with the intent that regardless of the outcome we want to benefit another person when someone else's happiness is experienced as your happiness you know you have found unconditional love this unconditional no strings attached love is the highest form of ecstasy that we can experience on this planet and all beings on this planet deserve to experience this type of love and let's start with you //
"2017-10-09 19:22:39"
5th Element Event
\\every aspect of our by every organs every emotions can be assigned to one of these elements first they will be gone through exercises that help us to allow the fire element and and so on and so forth until we reach the fifth element which that's why we how do I get more and more in touch tricks the personal desires because then it's easy for me to touch with that you don't need to guide you are your guide it's basically telling someone interested blossoming so by the time the closer to who they really are which is the which is cool Shimon //
"2017-10-07 14:44:19"
The Most Dangerous Parallel Reality - Teal Swan
\\intimacy is the primary ingredient for connection what is intimacy intimacy is to bring yourself who you are to the center of the relationship and for the other person to do the same it is to see into someone to feel into someone to listen to somebody I fully understand them to be into it you have to commit to being an expert on someone no it's tempting to think that it's possible to live your life without intimacy but it isn't mmhm without intimacy in childhood we don't actually develop a sense of who we are we come to know ourselves as children through reflection what that means is the reactions were getting from other people or even the mirroring the way we feel all you feel sad right now let's meet the reality that you're in right now that lets us know who we are so obviously if there's an absence of that we don't develop a sense of self if it's particularly bad nearing the we get we develop a negative sense of self but here's the thing that is so dangerous about that we start to perceive ourselves existing in the parallel reality when what we don't get is intimacy so you can understand this let's imagine that when you're a child you feel angry or you feel sad or you feel afraid in your perception of a situation is that you are hurt that's your reality its perceptual reality now if the people in your environment want to acknowledge that reality so you're afraid and they won't even acknowledge that you're afraid maybe they bypass it completely and say Hey what do you want on your pancakes there's such a discrepancy between where they are in their reality and where you are in your reality that you start to believe that 2 different realities exist this is happening in a very well somatic level it's happening at the deepest foundation of our being it is not something that's happening rationally so we just start to develop this concept of weird so deeply alone that it doesn't really matter who it is that we are in our environment with now let's pretend that you haven't had a whole reflect childhood one where you didn't get any validation weren't acknowledged and grew up in a different parallel perceptual reality from your parents the majority of people on the planet learn about these parallel perceptual reality is when they go through extreme grief let's say that there's a death of a loved one what you'll notice when something like that happens for you is the time stops sleepy impact happens in at that moment life to no longer be the same you can't feel good no matter how much you try you're missing this person in every moment the things that held joy for you don't hold joy for you anymore and meanwhile in the rest of the world people are moving on with their lives you feel like life isn't it may come over and they say Hey let's go get a drink one you start to feel this way fastened difference between your own perceptual reality in their and this is for most of us this is our first experience with the parallel perceptual reality into this torment I will never forget the time when I was in a public park who's a few years ago and there is a park bench and sitting on the park bench was a girl teenager she had her arms completely cut up and then bandaged and she was crying and what I watched completely blew my mind I watch joggers go past her friends talking go past her not one person noticed it was as if this person might as well have been a ghost she was existing in a parallel reality of room which was completely not shared by anyone who was around her there is a problem that I thought to myself if people can be in a different perceptual reality and not even notice something like this the rest of us who aren't so demonstrative with our state have no hope at all to explain this concept further there is no perceptual parallel reality that is set up in quite as extreme away as a set up by abuse let me explain let's take a classic situation of incest and let's pretend that it's data your uncle in this type of a situation you basically have to create a split reality eventually wife because what this perpetrator will do is it alright if you and then an hour later the next day they ask you what kind of man is he one of your sandwich you're having to go to thanksgiving dinner at this person acts as if nothing has happened and pretty soon what source happen is that reality which is dated a life you know the thanksgiving dinner the going to school it actually starts to feel fake the reality is that you are in where you're being abused feels much more real to you it's actually activating more of your nervous system that is dedicated to fight or flight so basically you start to get sucked into this parallel perceptual reality where you're actually living a double life so that when you're at thanksgiving dinner you can't actually be at thanksgiving dinner it feels false it feels fake is apparel perceptual really in one reality a reality is torturing pain and danger and that's the enemy in the other life is mundane you go to school you have thanksgiving dinner and doubt is down when you're at thanksgiving dinner when you're at school or when you're doing these mundane things in this other parallel reality you feel like you're just a thing in other people's world it stirs the feeling there's a pane of glass and you can see out but no one can see him this is the real kind of parallel reality that we need to be concerned with our lives here on earth this is the kind of parallel reality that makes it so people perceive themselves to be so alone and no hope they commit suicide the foundation apparel perceptual realities is emotional invalidation how I cannot stress enough how important emotions are not just for our own lives but in our relationships I can't stress how important it is to respond to emotions appropriately for this reason I am begging you to watch the video that I created that is titled the emotional wake up call the reason why it's so important to watch this is because this dynamic that creates pearl perceptual realities can happen in all kinds of homes even loving ones the ones that are not overly abusive so I want you to think about these parallel perceptual realities as existing in a kind of ... sliding scale so let's say that you grew up in a good home but she doesn't understand how to deal with emotions you're going to develop apparel perception reality but it's you know a mild one is still causing you pain but it's you know not super super super intolerable all the way over to the other side you have the people who commit suicide they're living in such an incredibly painful perils perceptual reality that there is no way in their reality that anybody will be able to join the and all of us fall somewhere on the scale until we learn how to address people so that they don't create apparel perceptual reality to understand how emotional invalidation creates parallel reality to have to go back to the beginning I want you to imagine a little girl who's unhappy she's in pain because our family had to move to a different town she has no friends here she's lonely she's afraid of the harshness of the new place she misses so many things about the old place if you look on happier acts on happy if repairs can create intimacy they will respond in one of 2 ways they will disapprove of her emotions or they will dismiss or ignore promotions the parent who disapproves of the child's emotions is critical of their children's display of negative emotion and reprimand or punished for this expression the parent who dismisses or ignores the child's emotions disregard them is important ignores the child's emotions or even worse trivializes their child's emotions they may have an interactive this child is a she's fine this creates a parallel reality between the parents and the child the child is now a reality that hurt in her reality tragedy and loss has occurred in her really her parents are not even there even if they're in the room physically and the parents reality on the other hand they are meeting the child's needs and everything is good the move was great because it provided no opportunities for better things because they can't actually see their daughter or feel her understand her they can't actually make any changes that would improve the way she feels this little girls isolated completely on her own payroll perceptual reality and her parents don't even notice as life goes on society you may begin to mirror the split reality she will perceive yourself to be in one pearl reality when everyone else is in another the torture of not only being in pain the being in pain alone or worse watching people were together and happy is so painful than she might develop addictions children anything to escape the pain and to be honest the pain of the condition is worse than any drug addiction she could ever choose but because she's unconscious that she's experiencing a different perceptual reality she just feels the torment has no clue how to resolve it she has no clue how to resolve because resolving it would entail breaking down the separation between this parallel perceptual realities she felt powerless to do that because she was powerless to do that with our parents in that powerlessness for options either escape from the pain through addiction or commit suicide we are at risk of developing a parallel perceptual reality anytime that we don't have Missy anytime someone doesn't see us hear us feel us or try to understand us so as to join into one reality so let's go one step further mental illness is in fact primarily caused by these perceptual realities if you break it down each one of the mental illnesses that we have diagnosed today at the heart of them is a parallel perceptual reality I'll give you some examples so schizophrenic for example parents schizophrenic let's just pretend this person actually feels like they're living in a perceptual reality that people are following them that's the reality no everyone else is acting like it's completely normal how would you feel today if army men broke into your house and they were literally raiding the house out to get you and everyone else was going what you don't see any it's one of the most gas lighting experiences and what we do as a huge mistake in the mental field is that we try to convince them that there really doesn't exist instead of trying to join them in interact in some way with what their actual reality is so that we can break down this veil between our reality in their reality we have not managed to integrate people who are mentally ill because the rest of us judge their reality as false an invalid if we judge them this way we can never joined them wherever they are supposed to make any improvements we can't find a way to integrate their reality with our instead we're just doing the same thing that parents do when they ignore dismissing disapprove of their child's emotions someone suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder is also living in a parallel perceptual reality so let's say that fireworks going off in this person's payroll perceptual reality let's say their return but for more they are getting fire on this is war in our perceptual reality it's just fireworks what's the big deal that's a different parallel perceptual reality someone suffering from depression is an apparel perception reality of hopelessness where life is pointless someone who S. panic attacks in the different perception reality one of imminent doom and there are looking at everybody else when the moment that they're having a panic attack in our in a reality where they're actually everything's normal and fine because I'm gonna explain gas lighting for a minute because when we are in 2 different perceptual realities it's a gas lighting experience the gas light somebody has to make them believe that their reality doesn't exist so what you see you don't see what you hear you don't hear your troops can't possibly be your truth now is is this can get really scary because it's it's a classic something that happens in dysfunctional homes so let's say that you got dad dads drunk off his ass he comes home he falls down before it passes out clean what the mother in this scenario let's pretend that she's a codependent what she's going to basically do say you know what kids you know you don't he's just tired from work so it doesn't gaslight in his in that moment the kids going fuck I don't get this like he came in dead drunk and passed out and you're telling me that when I see it in see what I feel I don't feel on what I'm hearing I'm not hearing my reality is a true the reality is that's just tired from work no when we have a parallel perceptual reality was somebody we are setting up this type of gas leading experience for each other which is why it is so important to find a way to merge our realities so that we can basically find a place me in the middle so were not isolated our own realities the real hell honors is not suffering the real hell on earth is suffering alone when we're living in a parallel perceptual reality this ultimately is where it leads us we are suffering in her own reality and looked we can't actually handle that nor should we nor should we put up with it in our species so what we have to understand here is that we all benefit by getting rid of these parallel perceptual realities tearing down the veil between them really being intimate with each other it doesn't just create tortured for the people who are stuck in this parable perception realities it causes torture for all of us because eventually when we're on the other side of the person who's in a parallel perceptual reality of pain is that we lose them to I'm gonna just give it to you straight when you take a snapshot of human suffering hell on earth right suffering alone is the number one healthy you can experience when we watch these images on our news channels of people who are suffering in earthquakes people who are going through famine or disease people are starving to death even in Africa I'm gonna have to break it to you that is not the deepest form of human suffering infected doesn't even come close for one primary reason because everybody is in the same perceptual reality suffering together the people who are suffering the most are the ones who are suffering in their own perception reality hello it's a tragedy when people say I never saw it coming when their loved ones commit suicide because the reality that we have to faces and that is why it happened because we don't have the level of intimacy in order to even know where this person actually is if you did not believe me there's plenty of warning I'm going to be honest with you when people come to me and they tell me I never saw it coming with some commit suicide my first response mentally is and that's exactly what happened another thing we have to understand is that it is ignorant and incredibly cruel when we say in a derogatory way misery likes company we gonna literally cut this out of our vocabulary would you like to know why because of happiness misery actually needs company that's what needs it doesn't need somebody in a different payroll perceptor really jumping in saying look at all the good life now what suffering really needs is for somebody to join it and from that space where somebody is willing to actually join there will be an improvement in that vibration just by virtue of the fact that we are bringing the light of consciousness to that space connection is what people need in order to feel good and feel like their life is worth living all too often people who are in pleasure cannot accommodate the reality of someone who's feeling pain this is the real reason actually why any a a program or any support group works for anyone because it's the only time that you actually perceive somebody joining your perceptual reality it's the opposite of long now obviously I told you that alone that feeling of isolation is what causes addictions so of course it is working it is in the developing of genuine connection that we can tear down the separation between Israel is so that these realities can merge one reality must begin to account for the other and vice versa denial is like the bill that serves as the divider between 2 realities it is within our capacity to accommodate polarities that our consciousness will find true progression pain must accommodate the reality of pleasure and pleasure must accommodate the reality of pain to understand this concept fully I want you to watch my video titled and consciousness modern day replacement for the middle way there is no possibility for 2 people to stay close and the stay connected when they're living in 2 different payroll perceptual realities and it is intimacy and our bravery to join people where ever they are that is going to bridge the gap between these 2 realities that make us so utterly alone have mmhm //
"2017-10-05 15:49:35"
Teal Swan Prague Synchronization Workshop - 8th October 2017
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"2017-09-30 15:52:35"
How To Stop Taking Things Personally (What's Mine vs What's Yours) - Teal Swan -
\\you would have no idea of what you actually looks like without your bathroom mirror think about it am I right or am I wrong ... Mme the bottom line is you come to know yourself through reflection if the people around you special you were growing up telling you because you're such an angry person you come to see herself as an angry person if they tell you cut your beautiful you come to see yourself as beautiful if they tell you you're so smart you come to see yourself a smirk if they tell you you're supposed difficult you come to see herself as difficult if they're constantly focusing at you with a look like there's something seriously wrong with you you feel defective we see the way the people react to us as a reflection of who we really are this is especially true in our children and the problem is we don't question it instead we swallow the mere we swallow that reflection completely without wondering is there anything wrong with the mir itself is there any component to the near the could make it not be reflecting the accurately let's imagine that a child has a mother who actually doesn't want a child because she wants to live a life for and what she wants to do and have no obligations the mere which is the mother will not be accurate it will be tainted with I don't want you this mother will not be able to reflect to a child that here she is important and valuable the reflection the child will see in the mirrors that she or he is a burden and is not important and is on unwanted burden instead of questioning the mere here she will swallow the mir and will see himself or herself as someone who is a burden and unwanted and unimportant and not valuable in order to ensure their survival they will then adapt their behavior according to that self image for example if they see themselves as intrinsically worthless they may decide they cannot get connection for being who they really are because no one would inherently want them in that way given that they have no value therefore they might instead get the connection I need from others through codependent strategies snow you understands concept of swallowing the mere no we swallow the mere of ourselves being bad and wrong when we grew up in scenarios were surrounded by adults who will not take responsibility they do make us the problem they deflected their own shame by blaming us for everything the mere we swallowed held the reflection we carried all the responsibility for anything negative and as a result we develop into adults who take everything personally this means any time somebody reacts negatively at all we instantly think omigod it's my fault I'm the one to blame because we swallowed that near to the can with which pencils as being the problem because of our childhood experience we learned that it was personal because the other person wouldn't actually take responsibility for the way they felt they just burn it was easier to make us the wrong one and about so another way putting Mrs we were raised by people who could not own their own shame instead they went and pass it straight to us because they couldn't deal with it so we're the ones that hold that shame swallow the shame internalizes shame and obviously when any negative thing occurs we took the triggers the shame for this reason I need you to watch my videos titled the number one relationship obstacle on how to dissolve it in which I explain the mechanics of shame deflection and projection understanding the psychology of projecting responsibility is the opposite of victimhood when you're in a state of victimhood what's happening there is that you're basically saying you have no control no sovereignty over your life and everything she is happening to you responsibility is the opposite of that it's not self blame or responsibility is gaining your power back and saying you know what I might actually have something to do with when my life is turning out on may be able to do something about it this causes them to feel a sense of their own free will and a consciously choose if you have responsibility you're leading your own life but what about toxic responsibility responsibility is the opposite side of the scale from blame even though they seem like they're the same thing to people who have shame there are diametrically opposed so somebody who is in a state of self blame is actually a set of victimization personal empowerment that so many has a responsibility is filling their own free will the reason that it takes some serious consciousness to recognize self blame and responsibility as opposites is big because of both states recognize you as the center of the causation of some for this reason self one can disguise itself is responsibility like a wolf wearing sheep's clothing but when a self hating and the other self loving one condemns the self and the other saves the self if you're taking responsibility you're feeling empowered if your self blaming your feeling bad about yourself and disempowered but self blame is in fact how we escape a feeling of genuine powerlessness to someone else sometimes taking self blame is the only form of empowerment that we can find most common way to understand this is to think about survivors of sexual abuse one of the hardest things to get people who have survived from sexual abuse to do is to give up their sensation that they somehow brought the abuse upon them so let's just look at this at 20 years old you'll be trying to convince a woman that it wasn't her fault that Daddy raped her when she was 4 years old now the reason that she can't let go of that self blame is because it was the only thing that separated her from complete victimization if she can be raped by Daddy thinking to herself I brought this upon me in some way there is some sense of control as opposed to complete nothingness when it comes to control instead of being totally at the mercy of the world to be responsible in other words to see your part and everything that is occurring in your life is an awesome step open to the point where you are using it to completely miss anyone else's responsibility which if you take things personally trust me this is what you are doing when we believe down deep that were bad we automatically assume that any negative thing that happens is because of us we take any negative reaction of someone says personally in our deep visceral sense of shame is instantly triggered and many people take advantage of this by other allowing you or forcing him to own that plane whether or not something is actually responsibility they get to avoid their own shame by doing this but taking everything personally leads to a painful life and it reinforces shame which leads to things like broken relationships addiction and even suicide so what should you do in order to not take things so personally step one we have got to question the mere as I've explained already in this video we swallow the mir we accept the reflection that we see through other people without ever considering that maybe there's a component going into the mirror itself that makes it not accurate when it comes to reflecting our actual image ask yourself in a situation where you're taking something personally is there something in them that could be destroyed in the reflection for example let's say that somebody's route is there a possibility that something else in their life maybe the relationship of stress in the mail so bad that they can handle life right now if they're furious at me because I have triggered someone healed wound from their past if they're treating me like I'm a slut could because they disowned their sexuality if they're treating me like I'm worthless because I have no money could it be because their father traumatize them into feeling like they hold no value unless they were financially successful some people are a master at avoiding their own sense of shame and so the strategy that I just gave you they do it naturally they do it to avoid their own personal ability I love to say that had nothing to do with the fact that I was nasty tourism had everything to do with their past trauma so we all know that that's a technique that people use and it sucks when they do it however if you chronically take things personally this is not what you do you have to practice what they are doing witches let's actually see if there is something distorting the mere 2 if we struggle with shame which we do if we take everything personally we have an impossible time separating out responsibility that's ours versus responsibility that's not ours for this reason I want you to get in the habit this is not a one time thing the habit of doing an exercise called what's mine and what's theirs alternatively what's mine and what's not mine to begin this exercise take out a piece of paper you want to write mine and then below that a significant amount of the way there's or if it's not about a person not mine and you're gonna make a list of everything that is actually yours to own your pardon situation your responsibility and the truth about how you participate in the situation and you're gonna do the same thing for them here's an example the client did relative to herself and her husband post divorce his as parents of a classic codependent narcissistic relationship in of raised him to relate in that same style he was a child at the time I was not ready for marriage he doesn't want to be there for a woman he told me so himself he's on a tune said that he doesn't care whether it hurts people emotionally he decided to marry me even when he knew I had clinical depression assuming you wouldn't have to deal with it he just gave up with the pressure of taking care of me and didn't even communicate about it or put any effort into getting us help with it he makes himself feel good by putting other people down he didn't try to remedy the marriage at all no therapy just filed for divorce he made about me being too hard handle instead of admitting that he really doesn't want a serious relationship you once a trophy wife he spins everything that he does to her relationships and a good thanks he's not committed all the minute the going gets tough he gets going he can't be in a relationship with someone who has needs and who needs anything from him as he puts it quote he will not sign on to be leaned on him once an independent woman who does not depend metal he sees dependence a success he was so self centered that when I was in labor he focused on how much discomfort he wasn't because of feeling sleep deprived because I needed to support now this was her mind category I was so desperate for blowing that it didn't matter what man I was with because of this I had no discernment with men I get like a starving person willing to eat poison food I struggle with clinical depression this is too much for me much less other men I married him one month after meeting him I was obsessed with pregnancy because it meant belonging to me I wasn't concerned with the man I was with wanted it I feel ashamed that I can't cope like normal people I didn't have the money for therapy at the time so I didn't go to therapy which put all that pressure on my partner I told him I can be a stay at home mom and I had a support system and it wasn't true I didn't realize it couldn't do that because I couldn't see my limitations 3 do a meditation where you give back what isn't yours this means the responsibility or any shame that was placed on you that reflection in the mirror that may not have been actually about you you basically give all that energy back now you can create your own meditation or inner journey work process where you do this or you can follow along with the meditation that I specifically created for this to access the guided meditation that I offer for this process visit my website WWW.till swan.com and click shop on the menu for if you take everything personally you were relying on other people's reflection I tell you who you really are for this reason you struggle to find your own authenticity for this reason I want you to watch my video titled how to be authentic 5 put yourself in other people's perspective oftentimes when we're taking everything personally we have and put herself in somebody else's shoes enough to see what's actually going on with for example if you put yourself in someone else's shoes you may be able to feel well that reaction really wasn't about what I did it's the fact that they're experiencing this thing in their life right now or this is their history or this is what it feels like to be them in the world now their reaction makes sense and it's not all about you I have an exercise for doing this to understand that you can watch my video that's titled the AKP step 6 you've gotta face your own shame the root of taking things personally is shame but the bottom of it all your self concept is shame for that reason I want you to focus on resolving your shame you can start by watching my video titled how to overcome Shane we all take things the most personally when people hit our sense of spots for example if I feel confident that I'm doing something right I won't feel insecure take it personally when someone says I'm doing it wrong if I'm insecure that I'm overweight I will take it personally if someone makes a joke but wait recognize that when we're taking things personally often a deep wound or sore spot that hasn't healed as being triggered to learn how to heal the sold rooms trail my process called the completion process which is outlined in detail in my book titled the completion process 7 question the meaning that you are adding to each experience this is what you're doing if you're taking things personally you're making their reaction means something about you or about something you did now meaning does not inherently exist so what we have to notices you can either make something mean something that causes you pain or make something mean something that doesn't cause you pain we need to ask ourselves what am I making this mean and then question that meaning that we've assigned to the experience for example imagine the somebody ignores you when you try to get their attention you could make it mean that they are currently absorbed in their own thoughts or you can make it mean that you don't matter to them you need to make sure the meaning you've assigned to experience is the actual meaning of the experience and here's the thing you can allow other people to clarify hopefully you are with a total ass that just puts it all on you but most the time you're not so you can clarify whether you're meaning is actually accurate to what they mean by doing or saying something to understand more about how this works watch my video titled meaning the self destruct button 8 it's time to recognize the ego centric world view there's nothing really wrong about this you experience your life through your prospective near not changing perspectives that often so what you perceive that the entire world revolves in a 360 degree way around you but guess what everyone else thinks the same thing everyone thinks the world revolves around them and this is part of why we take things so personally because we assume everyone's thinking about us and everything is about us when it actually isn't most people are worried about themselves at the same time if you're worried about yourself most of the time 2 people are both taking something personally so you have to start to recognize the you centric world view that all people possess in order to understand that very little of what is actually a miniscule part of what people do is actually so what we have to do is to throw up the mere the image that reflected everything negative is because of us and as a result throwing up that mere you will see yourself and also the world more clearly //
"2017-09-23 22:07:08"
Compassion (And How To Cultivate Compassion) - Teal Swan
\\action is a form of connected go speak on injuries it is spontaneous compassion is a feeling of connectedness that naturally arises when we experience sympathetic commonality with someone else in other words it naturally arises as a result of the felt shared experience pain there is a harmony inherent in shared feelings as well shared understanding when we feel compassion we feel sorrow and understanding and concern for the suffering of someone or something else in having that share a commonality of pain and therefore sorrow and concern for them then compels us to alter actions towards that thing we show mercy and love towards it instead of cruelty and separation from think back to a time when you're watching a movie in some painful event happen to a character help in that moment you instantly related to that character that means in that moment not only did you feel that sensation of shared pain and therefore connection with that character you also understood them completely this is what I mean by compassion I compassion immediately arises when we see someone experience pain that we ourselves relate to and by virtue of relating to that pain we understand what that person needs when we don't relate to something we feel different and separate from them this is why our meat industry in the world is doing so well today because we grow up with our golden retriever for example our family talk we relate to the dog when the dog experiences pain we feel compassion this is why the idea of eating our family dog would appall us however most of us we don't relate to countless we don't feel assured commonality with them we don't relate to the pain therefore it's easy for us to sit down and eat a hamburger as a person who has a commonality of pain was somebody we are incapable of inflicting that same pain on that person because we know how it feels this is why it's so common for people who have experience severe abuse to just stop eating meat altogether we feel no compassion for and therefore propagate cruelty towards things we don't relate to if we identify ourselves as totally saying we will have no compassion for people who are mentally ill we will treat them as if they're a danger to society and get angry that they can't just snap out of it and ostracize them and having a sense of their needs because we don't relate to them will do all kinds of things towards them that increase their sufferings that it decreases another example is we feel no compassion towards spiders will stomp on them and crush them with the heel of the shoe and think that the actions a good one many wealthy people have no compassion for people who are poor because they don't relate to them so they imagine them be lazy and keep changing laws to increase the cost of living without increasing salaries thus making it harder to thrive and the bottom line is no real positive affect change can come to a person from the person who does not relate to them deeply enough to understand their perspective and some Whitley needs today I am gonna make the idea of compassion so simple for you that you will never be able to forget it I'm gonna make it so it isn't abstract so that you can never use the excuse that you don't know how to be compassionate compassion naturally arises when we relate someone's suffering therefore all we must do in order to feel compassion and know what action to take towards that thing to deliberately look for help you relate to their pain if we're terrified to look for how we relate to someone we have to look at that what would be so bad about us relating to this person what would be so bad if our suffering was the same what would be so bad if I connected to them if I considered myself to be same instead of a friend to them now here's the thing we need to compassionately challenge the answers for the faults that arise as a result of asking those we need to compassionately care take the aspect of us that is too terrified to be vulnerable enough to relate to someone suffering because of the consequences that we think are going to happen when we do that compassion only happens when you're maintaining the idea that you're different from something having compassion begins with looking for higher the same as something do the opposite of what your ego naturally does which is to look for how you're different it therefore if you're struggling to have compassion for something dedicate time to being present with that thing learning about that thing in understanding it from there if it hasn't happened already deliberately look for ways that you are the same as that thing from there see if you can look for ways that you relate to their pain how was your pain the same as their pain can you identify their pain look back over the course of your life when did you experience pain like that remember what that felt like remember what you thought what did you really need back then when you were in that pain the connectedness of compassion naturally arises when we assume this perspective instead of a perspective what we are separate from them and different if we have a bankruptcy of compassion towards things that are external to us it is an indication that we have a bankruptcy of compassion towards things that are internal to us the reason for this it's fragmentation when we experience trauma that is situations a cause distress which can't be resolved in early life we have to dissociate from it to dissociate is to make yourself separate from an experience or separate from something you see where the cistern our consciousness splits when we do this as a matter of self preservation we push an aspect of ourselves that is experiencing the pain away from ourselves and we rejected deny and dis own unidentified with the aspect the does not feel that from ability but because we have no way of becoming 2 different people at that moment instead our sense of self becomes fragmented so even though we have one body with in that body we end up with multiple internal selves some of which we bury in the subconscious and never allowed to see the light of day to understand how this process happens in depth watch my video titled fragmentation the worldwide disease when we split off from and decided to fight from an aspect with enough so that that's splitting occurs we naturally stop relating to it we tell ourselves not now not that's not me nope and so obviously we lose our compassion for but the thing is is part of us so really who's compassion for part of us we're demonstrating cruelty towards a part of us and we feel that in our own embodiment this is why we're capable of propagating the same abuse that was done to assist children this is why our parents can force us to abandon our true dreams in favor of doing something rational and practical of their choosing and then we can force our children to do the same no longer relating to the kind of torment that caused in us and therefore not relating to the kind of torment that causes in our children in order to release ourselves from suffering we need to re integrate these aspects of us we need to relate to them again we need to pull them closer so that they feel that they're part of us again the opposite of push them away to do this we take the same approach that we would to another person when it comes to compact only this time towards that part of ourselves that we're personally to give you an easy example the inner child which we talk about all the time in the self help field in the psychology field in the spiritual field this isn't an specter of view fragmentation so we developed self compassion when were present with the inner child within us when we're learning about him her in understanding her the next steps are easy because you'll naturally relate to it because it's already a part of you but from there if it is not naturally happened already you can deliver they look for ways that you're the same as your inner child from there see if you can look for ways that you relate to his or her pain how is your pain and there's the same can you identify their pain let your inner child show you your past remember when you experience that pain remember what it felt like remember what you thought remember what you really need to pack them when you were in that pain how can you provide that for yourself and for other people now the connectedness of compassion with this part of our souls naturally arises when we assume this perspective instead of a perspective where we are separate from our inner child and different from them in worse when we assume the perspective that we are adults and so a child within us does not even exist when we do this a lot of compassion will cause an integration of these fragmented aspects of us we will feel more whole our shame will evaporate in the light of our compassion like sunlight melting ice we will take actions towards ourselves that are in alignment with compassion I will give you an example of how this process of internal separation works relative to the loss of compassion motion that you have a politician who for the most part is cruel and also dictatorial imagine that way way back in his childhood he had a father who shamed him and rejected him anytime he wasn't the very best maybe this father called him a loser and called anyone else a loser who didn't meet his standards having no way to resolve the pain of that experience and in order to keep the love of the father he had a cut off from that aspect of him that felt like a failure and from the pain of his own feelings that he might not be good enough he had to identify with the sight of him that's a winner he had to cover up the side of him that never fill it was good enough with achievements so that he could never even see the side of himself he had to push away any feeling or thought or action or person that his father's associated with being a loser he had to consider himself different to them no because he has pushed them so far away the aspect he is identified with cannot relate to them now he is the one calling them all losers he is the one taking actions that increase their suffering and thinking that they deserve it and until he re owns the side of himself that feels like it's not good enough so as to feel compassion for it the side that suffered the pain of the rejection and shaming of his father he will not relate to the people who he is sorted into the category of different from me because they are losers he will continue to propagate separation of and cruelty towards these people and not be able to meet their needs this world functions like an impartial mere that means that the fragmentation you see inside the world the war prejudice slaughter houses it is a complete reflection of the fragmentation that is happening with enough when compassion is the condition of our internal world it will be the condition of our external world it is often much easier to feel a sense of shared commonality with people's pain instead of their joy now a lot of people argue that we should be feeling compassion connectedness in our joy and nauseous are suffering and it's not that I don't agree but the reality is is that our joy it doesn't really need us the way that suffering does why because it's already working joy is not the thing that is causing the issues on our planet suffering is it is our lack of compassion that is creating the issues on this planet is the way that we have not made the decision to relate to each other deeply in to see ourselves as the same that is creating the issues on this planet compassion is perhaps the single most critical thing for humanity to develop in the world today and to be quite honest with you the survival of our species is now completely dependent upon it is no longer a luxury we are no longer at a point where we can wait for compassion to spontaneously arise one day we are at a point in our evolution where we now have to help it to arise //
"2017-09-20 23:08:43"
Teal Talks About The 5th Element Event - Oct 13-15, Munich
\\I developed a fifth only workshop because all people are made of elements everything in the universe you could say could belong to one of the other so you say her belongs to fire you could say the ambivalence belongs to air safe things like us right so if you're looking at a human being in its totality in the state of health it doesn't have resistance to any one of these elements and what I was watching is a natural progression through these elements so let's say we start with something like earth now some because out of all women with their their ... first centers is not gonna be grounded or is going to be too grounded I mean what are you story conceiving of is how awesome it would be if we had a workshop that happened over a course of day at the idea of being able to house people who don't act can't actually afford to go to one of my high and events with with me for a full on week of the ability to have them over a course of a few days where were specifically working on what's preventing the earth so that we can let go of those of the earth naturally flows Ben work on what's preventing fire then work on what's preventing Aaron so and so forth what will happen naturally when when you're like shutting his layers of these elements within a person or that the quality is related to these elements can actually releases also expressed is that you get closer and closer and closer and closer to your essence which is your fifth element naturally being a teacher and authenticity the fifth elements what I'm all I'm what I'm here for it's the government you're here to find your essence you're here let us it's be the thing that expresses itself around the world so it's only natural when I thought about that let's do a fifth element workshop where we can get people close their essence we can do this over a course today's little be fun to have that kind of control I also wanted to make this more of drug experience for people to because my workshops on slayer for people who really freaking love getting deep like I I don't do fluffy stuff I'm not going to be talking to you about angels all day long market is telling you the world is awesome you know I thought we might but because a person what I like doing wars really deep work so I love anything they give me the opportunity for that but it is also very difficult for people so I noticed that obvious if you if you like someone who lives with me in my intentional communities the capacity you have for it to work it's ridiculous and it gets to the point where you can do all that off it's just like another athlete begin begin learning a Spartan slave hold on I'm tired after an hour but you know you go to the point where Yemen's people of my community will be doing the 7:08 hours a day in the select right so what we have skipped over in the past is how difficult it is for people in there at a full blown daylong workshop to just go as hard and heavy as I like so I wanted to give them you know to splice is between having fun experiences that are exciting and that certainly get you out of the the D. intensive depths that I like going to but with the ducks as well so it's like coming up for breeders so what I wanted to be part of the is for the Allman workshops to this month retain the pieces but that apply to what we're doing I I just I can simplicity is this being just this awesome show piece where we can get people's close to their essence as possible but that's where creep them //
"2017-09-16 18:01:57"
Do You Need Space? If So, You Are Being Inauthentic - Teal Swan
\\do you frequently find that you need time to yourself you identify yourself with somebody who really needs and likes a long time but technically we're social species our species survival depended upon being next to each other connection technically connections the top human need so how can that be that you feel better when you're alone I can it be that you need so much space mmhm I want you to notice that when you need alone time or when you need space this never include your family dog or you cannot or plants but they're living into pets need you but you're not really turning around your family dog saying look I just need space and time to myself right now so what's a variable why is it about people I'm gonna tell you today something that most people will find controversial at face value it's if you identify as somebody who likes your longtime and needs a lot of space it means that you're struggling with an authenticity the difference between your dog and a person that you feel like you can completely be in alignment with your unique desires needs perspectives feelings thoughts and do whatever you want to do when you're with your dog and you don't feel like you can do any of that with the person there's a big incongruence between your internal self and your external self when you're around people this leads to both pressure and exhaustion it is hard to act differently than you feel it is hard to do you don't wanna do it is hard to tailor everywhere in action to the response you want to get from them emotional trauma is a difficult thing and very very common for the human species now let's think about measuring trauma it's basically nobody listening to boundaries so here's how investment trauma goes in households where one adult or more refuses to see a child as his or her own person and instead regards them as an extension of themselves the child is not allowed to have their own desires needs perspectives feelings or thoughts there were consequences for that in order to maintain the secure connection they needed but this adult they have to lose their sense of themselves they have to forfeit their autonomy therefore the desire to develop a sense of self is as strong for them as the desire for merging is for people who have suffered abandonment trauma if you have suffered emotional trauma whether you notice that or not when somebody enters the room you instantly feel like you have to abandon yourself to cater to their needs their wants their wishes you have to make yourself into something that pleases them you'll try to create connection with them by anticipating the reaction they will have to anything you say or do you so that you can only do and say what will get you a positive reaction and avoid doing and saying things that get you negative reaction you'll immediately lose your authenticity for the sake of connection it's like walking on broken glass the tension and the pressure you feel as a result of not being able to be natural will be immediate there's a thing it doesn't really matter whether that person is somebody who can actually welcome the totality of you including your boundaries are not you just automatically go into this reaction whenever you're around a person basically a easy way of saying this is that other people are a trigger for you to not be yourself now if you're paying attention the way that you feel around people is absolutely terrifying it's like suddenly the minute that another person steps inter facility you start to lose yourself over some you lose touch with what you need and what you want and what you actually thinking what your inner truth is and what you need there's a sort of like okay nam bleeding and everything so the only way to get a sense of yourself back is to push them away when you're away from other people meaning you've pushed them away now are you from the way and now you're alone no you can't actually a tune to somebody and so in that moment you have access to what you need you can feel what you want you can figure out what your internal tresses you can feel yourself no let's be honest those of you who are like this who suffered a measuring Trohman so you lose yourself the second year round of the people it sucks because you're kind of torn because part of you really does need connection and purview wish you didn't need it at all because price for connection for you is to lose yourself now to give you a view of the flip side people who were in relationships with you they really suffer the reason is they feel pushed away by you why do they feel this way because they're right to get a sense of self you are pushing them away chronically impulsively just so that you can feel yourself so usually people let themselves be pushed away of more than a few times and then it serves to prove their own self esteem continually being pushed away and so they leave you and so you say see see if I can't be exactly what other people want me to be they just leave so I have to abetted myself even further and so the cycle goes on and on when you were unconscious if this dynamic it is only through that friction of defiance and rebellion to another person that you have a the jewel and this in fact feel safer to you it does not feel safe to lose yourself because losing yourself in the sense is not the same as becoming one instead it's becoming the other person while they're not becoming you so it feels like you're being consumed by them or absorbed by them and losing your free will so you constantly vastly between pushing people away and needing them relationships do not feel safe to you if you are too close so this is what relationships end up feeling like you can't let somebody to close and if they don't get to cause you to push him away but if they go away then you chase and so I actually call this the rubber band syndrome in relationships because it's like the 2 people costly doing this only allowing for this much space between them never letting that space fully close because of that terror of clean some patients here's the bottom line pushing people away is not a good thing especially if you're pushing or it could be love it hurts them and ultimately you as well it's a reaction you have to a threat that threat is absorption being alone can be a good tool to use to get in touch with yourself but remember that it's a tool it is not actually necessary for physical human feel the resistance you just have to that statement that should tell you something about yourself no I'm gonna make a revolutionary statement here because of the way that a physical humanist designed if you could be completely authentic around other people you wouldn't actually need space to yourself you'll have to take my word for it go try it out that's why some people are so much easier if you just be around matter what other people are but that's the reality of the human species the single most difficult thing for people to learn is I can have my self and have you to if you struggle with this issue of authenticity in relationships or feeling like relationships erase your entire identity the first thing that you need to do and commit to is to work on personal boundaries when people have a poor sense of boundaries when you say boundary what they're thinking is a fence right it's something that prevents you from doing what I don't want you to do it's not really what boundaries are about boundaries are about anything that represents a note to you and also anything that represents a yes to you so let's say that someone says I like vanilla ice cream that's actually a boundary that's them defining who they uniquely are no if I was with this person and I said I like chocolate ice cream that would also be a boundary it's something that defines what's unique about meet my unique desires for unique needs no if I said all that's interesting I love vanilla to it's still a boundary it doesn't matter whether we agree on a personal preference the personal preferences still uniquely ours a boundary is an imaginary line that uniquely defines your personal happiness your personal feelings your personal thoughts your personal integrity your personal desires your personal needs and therefore most importantly your personal truth from the rest of the universe defining your personal boundaries means you have to get in touch with what those things are and then start to live your life in alignment with that even when you're with other people there will be boundary conflicts in relationships if your authentic there will be times where somebody looks and says wait that's totally against what I want or need that's fine because now we can have a conversation about a needs conflict you don't have to abandon yourself instantaneously in other words it's a time for conflict resolution it is not a time for either of you to simply give up your boundaries for the sake of remaining connected to each other to understand more about boundaries watch my video titled personal boundaries versus oneness how to develop healthy boundaries obviously throughout this video I've been talking to you about the fact that if you identify yourself as someone who needs space you are struggling with an authenticity sol become authentic if you understand how to do this you can watch my video on YouTube that is titled how to be authentic commit to authenticity regardless of whether you are in the room with another person or not if you let this happen what will happen is a natural sifting process yeah Cuban inauthentic chances are you're surrounded by people who are in love with the mask and not really the real you so there will be a process where some people are like nappies out I was here for the mask not really here for the real you however the universe doesn't like open spaces he loves to fill the men and so what will happen when those people gravitate away from you is that the place that they occupied now becomes occupied by people who can actually love you for your authentic and real self now here's the thing when these people come into your life you will not need space from them you will feel so free just as free as you do around your family dog because you can be complete yourself around them there's no pressure and no loss of self and not really as much of a terror of being consumed by someone else here's the reality unless you're willing to show somebody who you really are that means what's real about you what you really think how you really feel what you really want your genuine desires your thoughts all of these things emotions nobody can actually reach the core review they're just talking to the mask and so nobody can really love you for who you are and what you want is connection connection with who you really are so be brave enough to take the step mmhm //
"2017-09-09 14:12:17"
How To Be Authentic - Teal Swan -
\\authenticity is a word that you hear flying around self help circles in psychology offices and spiritual communities all the time I myself leading authenticity movement but what the hell does that mean in this episode I'm gonna tell you mmhm something that is authentic is not copied it is genuine it is real and it is true as authenticity applies to human being we must follow the reality that each and every person comes into this life is unique expression of source consciousness this means each person comes with a unique essence like an energetic signature and that are unique purpose and unique thoughts and unique feelings and unique desires and unique needs and unique role within the greater universe is embedded in that essence our process progression through this planet should be a process of unfolding kind of like when a flower blooms so you can recognize each person is is there a lotus blossom their unique essence which is encoded with their purpose and everything else that we think casted do with authenticity is like a pearl inside of that lotus now if we are allowed to unfold it nationally opens exposing that pearl but the process of socialization on planet earth does not go this way if we allowed an unfolding of the authentic aspect of each person the parenting socialization process would be a process of enabling a child to unfold if we do not interfere with this process and simply met the unique needs of the unique child in front of us it would naturally happen this way but we live in a world where the process of socialization therefore parenting with it is quite often an impediment to the process of unfolding when we come into this world people do not look at us as if we are a lotus blossom like it's their job to help us unfold so they can see the mystery in the magic in the present in the gift of what we are instead they look at us like we're raw material that needs to be molded almost like we don't have it in in the essence and we know what's best for that person to become so what shape amended that they tell us that certain things are acceptable and for those things will be good and be safe and other things are unacceptable and if we do that will be bad enunciate so naturally all these wonderful aspects of us anything that might be real about us that might be unacceptable have to be hidden from view we begin the process of splitting our self's we put forward the things about us that make us loved and safe in the world and the rest we keep hidden it's as if we will not let certain lotus petals open and therefore keep the pearl hidden so this fit into the world be locked and feel safe what this means is that our personalities are in essence totally fake because the parts of you that you put forward to the world your personality those are just the things that kept you the most safe almost except in the world and that changes based on whatever external condition culture fill in the blank you grew up in our personalities are merely the part of us that we identified with ... developed so as to stay safe and away from vulnerability in the specific situations that we are raised in we suppressed rejected 9 does own the aspects that make us vulnerable organised disapproved of in the world by doing this they become subconscious they're buried outside of our awareness and we do not know they even exist to understand more about this process I encourage you to watch my video title fragmentation the worldwide disease we can only be authentic to the degree that we currently know ourselves that's scary it means we can only be authentic to the degree that we are self aware that's scary because the majority of us suppressive Dorset conscious long story short because we are not very aware of ourselves most of us are basically copies copies of what we saw of succeeding in other people we are not genuine not real and not reflect what is true at our core our commitment to unfolding usually ends up being something that we have to take charge of an allow to happen in spite of the world we end up having to sort through illusion to find what Israel about us the process of becoming authentic which is finding your essence again and following that allowing it to be shared with the world is no different than the process of awakening and so for the sake of awakening I'm to give you some tips about how to be authentic step one the simplest way to understand authenticity aside from discovering your innate essence is that is the conscious mending of that in congruences between your inner world and your outer world that means what's on the inside is exactly the same as what's on the outside this is the opposite of the wolf in sheep's clothing I know that many of you have heard that so obviously if there's a sheep that sin wolves clothing or a wolf that sin sheep's clothing either way it's not authentic because what's on the inside is not a direct reflection of what's on the outside there are all kinds of in congruences in the world when it comes to people for example let's take a guy who hates his work on the inside he really wants to do something else so you could say that his external job doesn't match his internal desires for what job he wants to have that's inauthentic when a person says they like someone or axes if they do when the truth is that they hate them wanna be nowhere near them this is an authentic when a person says they're not artistic because they suppress that inside themselves long ago this is not often when a person denied how they feel because they have learned certain feelings are not acceptable this is not authentic when we care so much about seeing ourselves as good that we cannot admit aspects within us that wouldn't seem so good we are in authentic when we have 2 Facebook accounts one for people who know from work and family and one for the things were actually interested and that they would negatively judge us for we are inauthentic when we're game but we pretend to be street were being inauthentic to be honest our entire society is based on pretenses but the time has come for this to end it is one of the greatest barriers to awakening so the question I live by is is there any incongruence tween my outer self and inner self 2 it is a far bigger deal to not even admit to or not even realize even worse that there isn't in congruency between your outer and inner world than it is to just deliberately choose to be an authentic now I would love if we lived in a world where 2004 hours a day every person can be authentic but let's just be honest none of us can take that amount of honesty and on top of that the world's not set up for that right if you walk in your boss today and you say look I hate you that's the reality it's not gonna go so well for you so what's more important far more important then mending all the incongruence sees that there isn't any is being conscious of those incongruence he's for some of you there may be times that call for you to be consciously inauthentic these scenarios which forced us to question our own potentially limited perspective and also consulter own conscience or a dramatic call for us to awaken but proceed into authenticity knowing that becoming authentic is much more about becoming aware of what is real and from there you get to consciously choose how to share that realness with the world and even what part of it to share according to your own continually evolving and expanding perspective the biggest adversary to authenticity is not pretending is denial this reason I want you to watch my ass till episode the disk titled how to call bullshit on denial 3 if we want to be authentic we've got to develop the willingness to look bad to ourselves and to other people now that may sound easy right now the single biggest attachment that our egos have so the sense of being good shame is the number one enemy the human ego in shame is about their something bad and wrong about me some hope it's a lot easier said than done to admit to things within us that other people or even we would judge is bad it's even harder than that to admitted to the world but this is absolutely prerequisite of authenticity we have to face and work with what is real about us and real includes both sides of the spectrum positive and negative here's the reality most people are only willing to be authentic when they've been inauthentic firsts so long that the pain has become so extreme but suddenly the consequences of being authentic are worth it but I'm asking you to be authentic before you get pushed up against that kind of wall except what is real about yourself regardless of whether you judges good or bad to a certain degree all people wrestle with what is we could say it's part of why our species is so incredibly progressive we weren't satisfied with sitting in caves and banging on tools and so we built this entire society that you see before you know we could say that that's a thing of beauty but it also gets in our way if we're unwilling to accept something were constantly fighting against what is to the degree that we don't even want to admit it's there acceptance is the opposite of denial and avoidance so what does it mean to accept something immense recognize something is valid or correct doing this makes your being consent to receiving and they just sing this true sense of fighting to not acknowledge it not take it in remember that acceptance has nothing to do with condoning something or condemning something it has nothing to do with whether you want to change it or not it simply about being able to acknowledge that something is valid invalid enough to let that acknowledgment in and certified and keep it out for the heart of being authentic to be vulnerable because of that process I described earlier where we hide our from their ability behind detector aspects of us whatever keeps us safe so a lot of a real truth is hidden in those vulnerable aspects no lot of us think that were expressing the entire truth about ourselves and how we feel when all were expressing it's something that keeps us safe sober only expressing the truth through the aspects of us that kept us safe not the vulnerability behind it here's what I mean you could think it's authentic to express you know what you're just too self centered to pay attention to anyone except yourself where you want to go but this is actually just defense and it only represents our anger when that is a small fraction of what Israel being authentic might look something more like this that was terrifying it made me feel like I was invisible and didn't matter one of the best ways to express yourself authentically is to ask yourself in these scenarios you get into what is the opposite of defending myself right now or what is it that I'm trying to defend whatever you are trying to defend is the vulnerability that you need to be authentic about relative to authenticity expression is about telling the whole truth not just parts of it that includes a whole range of emotions for this reason I want you to watch my video titled how to express your motion 5 the root of authenticity is knowing how you feel and admitting how you feel to other people and we are living in the emotional dark age one thing that we are the most shamed for and this doesn't matter what culture you were growing up in the case today it's how you feel we are not validated for emotions so our own access to promotions are super super limited but your emotions function like a compass they're telling you at all moments the date where you stand what you're thinking your reality this moment so if you have no access to your emotions and you can admit them to yourself you don't even know where you stand you can't do anything with that you can only work with something that's real you also can communicate to other people in a way where they can do anything with your emotions they can't improve the way you feel if you don't even know how I feel in the same way the compass tells you where you are located in space and what direction to go your emotions will tell you what vibration you are currently holding in what direction to go to improve that personal frequency so that the circumstances of your outer life or in alignment with your inner life or your essence your emotions are also the doorway to discovering the subconscious limitations you have that are preventing your off and his look we don't understand the motions and we don't understand what they're there for so I want you to understand emotions better for this reason I'm gonna ask you to watch my video titles the emotional wakeup call 6 become aware of your thoughts and of your beliefs no beliefs and thoughts are a funny thing because they can either be a direct reflection of your essence or they can be the very thing covering up your ass the reality of me is that I may be thinking a thought like no one will ever Love Me that thought may be preventing me from covering my essence thought itself may be an illusion but it is still real because I am really thinking it and I can only question and discover that it's an illusion if I admit that it is there I can only change a core belief once I know it is there I want you to become conscious of the fact that true solution are both part of what is real step 7 most of us do not see our souls objectively we don't see our actual action this is because we were walking to allay for looking through our limited perspective we're not looking at us looking through our prospective like other people are this is part of why it is so much more obvious to you what's going on with other people however to other people this kind of obscure so what you get in the habit of objective viewing one of the best ways to do this is to sit down and begin to meditate just like you would any other meditation but when you close your eyes you're going to imagine stepping out of your body so that you are watching you practice with us a little bit then what you can do is you can take that perspective but go to watch yourself over the course of the day obviously if you're a fly on the wall or a bird you're not intimately related to a person you and so it's easier to see the reality how it is to see you in the world interacting with other people this is what objective viewing is all about so pretend that you're watching you have an argument or you're watching you in any number of scenarios this is one of the best ways to become honest about what is really you another thing that's so awesome about the subjective viewing process is that you get to see how inauthentic your you get to see those moments where you may be standing there and somebody that you can't stand comes up and is like Hey and you're like yeah you see yourself do that it gives you a lot of information about who you really are and how you really feel this moment if you want to really take this to the next level film yourself but it's also the best if you can film yourself when you don't know you're being filmed now I don't know how you're gonna achieve that one but let's say that you decide to film yourself what I want you to notice is how tense you feel in your body when you know someone's watching how different your actions become when you know that there's an audience that is an indication about how authentic you're actually being if you even have that sensation it's an authenticity you can only work with something with Israel unless you know and admit to what you really think really feel really want really need an actually do you were working with illusion and you're not gonna get anywhere it's like building a castle on thin air it is inevitable that it will crumble anything in life can either be true to our unique essence or the very thing that is preventing us from uncovering that unique essence literally anything you do that makes you more self aware is a step in the direction of off into authenticity is the highest state that a person can achieve in the years to come authenticity is going to replace the concept of enlightenment true goal of spirituality we are going to be during closer and closer to our essence now this is really really good news because it means that our life and the society around us is gonna be one that helps us unfold as people instead of becoming the very thing that molds us presses us and keeps us completely hidden I'm //
"2017-09-06 00:09:01"
Interview with JP Sears and Teal Swan - Bypassing and Spiritual Bulls#!t
\\ //
"2017-09-02 15:48:33"
A Child's Purpose (Parenting Advice - What Parenting Is Really Meant To Teach You) - Teal Swan
\\when a child is born we look at its size its obvious in capabilities and its lack of experience and what we think is it is our job to teach that child what's best for but it's our job to ensure the progression of that child to mold into what we think is best for it to become in essence we think that it's our job to lead them we think this because we've forgotten actual way that the universe is trying to achieve progression we've lost track of the concept of what expansion means for ourselves and our children let me remind you today mmhm so here's a demonstration I want you to think of yourself to his right try using stick figure now you are a part of what we call a soul family now a family any kind of family is kind of like if source itself was the ocean this is the ocean of source it's everything this all consciousness a family with him source consciousness even just like your family line would be one stream of consciousness within that ocean of source could be like a current within the ocean and we all know that the east Australian current is a current in the ocean when you ask if it's the ocean yes this the new can also save the you can narrow down to saying it's a current so we're talking about a family's consciousness were talking about where these currency within the ocean and you come down as a third dimensional physical extension of that consciousness of that particular stream right nope what's happening as you're going about your life is you keep adding to desire that's what your life does for you so you experience something that you don't like very much and that causes you to want something not you in your life you have a lot of resistance to what you want lot of contradictory vibrations right but sources self doesn't and the expansion of source consciousness and the expansion of your own family line here is happening as a result of what is desired within your consciousness and it is happening instantly because there's no contradictory thought with in that family consciousness nope you right now are the furthest most progression of the consciousness of the family line now here's where it gets interesting though let's say in your day to day life you experience things their unwanted that causes you to desire something those desires are actually added to the vibration of your the consciousness not just source but of your family line they basically become that so let's say that you are let's say you're in the 19 sixties movement this is my mother right you're in the 1960 movement and what you want is is empowerment for women case so here is 1 of those desires empowerment for women and the consciousness of your own soul family which is part of source takes on baton power mint but let's say in your day to day life even though that desires not calling you forward into the progression space you can't go in that direction easily because you've got a lot of thoughts from your 19 fifties up bringing that make it so that you can't fully lined up with us maybe you go into a resistant state so instead of embracing empowerment you're just resisting disempowerment same thing right either way you can't lineup was set in your waking life what will happen is that your progeny that means your summer daughter is going to come down to this life already as the manifestation of that expanded consciousness they expanded consciousness that you yourself could not line up with so that's why for so many of the sixties kids who wanted so much freedom a lot of them got indigo children and crystal children who are basically the progressive form of humankind they're basically everyone sixties was trying to be about so then what happens is is this is where is the side with answers consciousness it was designed for your child to be the one that is calling you towards him or her so if the child actually leading the expansion leading the progression in leading the enlightenment path of the parent because the child is in fact the embodiment of the progression of the consciousness of the parent nope obviously the child doesn't do this uncomfortable ways sometimes it does this by reflecting the things that you're suppressing in yourself to understand more about the way the desires lead the expansion and progression within our universal consciousness I suggest that you watch my video titled happiness is the purpose of your life wanna know why as your parents live their life they give rise to desires suddenly knew about for example perhaps there was one to be an artist but they were forced by their parents to do something more practical some desires however they forgot about the process of socialization teaches us that some things are acceptable and some things are not the things that are seen as not acceptable become suppressed denied to some rejected now venture become a part of the subconscious no basic sole desire within all of us to become whole again in a more straightforward way down deep the desires to re integrate with parts of us that we learned were unacceptable and to experience them being loved and wanted in being a part of us for example let's say that a woman is born into a family where anger is not okay at all she'll suppressed deny rejecting does on this aspect of herself now chances are because within her being it's a desire to become whole again in part of hers angry right that hasn't gone anywhere it's not like she could replicative firmer being as part of her so what happens she rejected mind is on that aspect and so the universe will be so kind and gentle as to mirror that to her by bringing her a child who exhibits anger now you might be asking how the hell would that be beneficial anybody to own anger again what if all of her boundaries are contained within her angry self obviously this person is a walking breathing living doormat she can't assert any of her needs and wants or say no obviously her life is painful because of it now this child will come in as the embodiment of her boundaries this child will be able to say no and how she reacted up the same with issue reacted to boundaries within herself by rejecting denying dysphonia and basically disapproving of them but when she does that towards the child the child will then exhibit the anger that is on top of the list boundaries the trails just reflecting her she doesn't see it at all she's our sees herself as the doormat to the child now this is because she's basically refusing to go with the flow of expansion and realism those boundaries are in fact which is rejected within herself her child will in fact be born as the embodiments of her desires for herself if she cannot lineup of her desires in her life they will come through her child the child is being born is the expanded form of consciousness within the family line is born is the single biggest thing that is calling the parent to their own expansion awakening if in the previous scenario a child comes in with an angry disposition isn't offering for the woman to be on her anger and re on her boundaries by doing this it is obvious how her life would improve and if she serves to Rio on her own sense of boundaries and allow the child to have boundaries as well because she doesn't reject boundaries in the trial is what happens the parent child relationship it improves if we do not recognize and really own these aspects of ourselves that our children are mirroring so as to call us into expansion we will take an alternative approach and that's to crush those things within them thus the parent child conflict begins we inflict the same wound on our children that are parents inflicted on us we so let me explain a vibrational level what's happening in this dynamic on planet earth with parenting today there is a vibrational difference between where the child is vibrating in where the parent is vibrating the child is in fact a vibrating at the expanded form of consciousness and the parent doesn't recognize this so instead of the parent coming to close that vibrational distance this way towards the child the parent is trying to drag the child back to the vibrational set point where they now reside by doing so we are denying our own process of expansion and also the world's the parent child relationship was always meant to be a partnership an expansion of awakening we cannot do this if we take an attitude of superiority torture children do not realize that they being incarnate with the essence of our desires and this expansion are our biggest opportunity to expand and become fully conscious parenting can not be hierarchical for this to occur the parenting process is something that must happen hand in hand we must let them lead us into the expanded place and our parenting of them must be designed in a way where I parenting them where in fact parenting ourself into the expanded place that they are calling us to for example let's say that when you were young your subconscious desire was for your parents to be fully present with you and really there with you when they were there with you where other all of their attention focuses on you now you didn't get this you couldn't get that out of them you could call them forth into being able to be present so you crushed it they crushed it in the first but then you decide to crush inside yourself on a subconscious level as well so you became a doer no doer isn't really in the state of presence there just constantly an activity chances are you're going to have children who are perfectly good at being present it's the expansion right they can be fully with you totally engaging that's what they want from you however because you've already crush that aspect of yourself likelihood is you're gonna be a doer who doesn't focus enough attention on them who can't give them presents and who doesn't understand why they're so upset you that you came they will start to be friction in the relationship because they want this presents from you and you will fight with them about how busy you are instead of realizing you that this is your opportunity to become what you always wanted and they get what you actually was one for your parents if you become conscious of this you could practice parenting them with presence being completely engaged with them when you're with them and by doing this you would not only link up with your own sire but you'd be enabling that expansion of your own consciousness and the consciousness of your family line that is embodied within them our conflicts with our children are always an opportunity to recognize an area where they're trying to call us into a space of our own expansion which is the place where we can in fact best meet their needs and parent them and teach them how to carve out their own life here in society and we do that the conflict with our children goes away we have to begin with the premise that our children do not belong to us they belong with us but not to us they come in with our their own unique essence which just so happens to be an expanded version of us and with that essence embedded within them it is our job essentially to enable them to find and express that essence is not our job to decide with that essence is what we feel to do as parents is to tune into the unique essence of a child what a child needs but one of the best things that you scan C. with and parenting relationships with children who literally can't alter their behavior to fit in with the needs of society say autistic children is that it literally forces apparent because they can't alter the child to match their vibration it forces the parent to tune in to the needs and designers and special essence of their child so as to best parent them in a specific way but we as parents who don't have that type of child need to do this without being forced he needs to be a choice we need to listen and see and feel them with all of our soul so as to make the right decision for them specifically we don't see how doing this is actually the best thing for us but it is you basically need to separate yourself from who your child is if you don't do this what you're doing is cutting off your own capacity to see their essence in what's much more damaging you're cutting them off from actually accessing their essence they're already in touch with who they are what they want our job is to help me actualize this and the only way for us to do this is to realize that they are the embodiment of our own expansion the only way to parent them so as to help them actually is there in it essence and desires and purpose is the line up with our own desires both conscious and subconscious to do this we must consider that we hold beliefs values thoughts assumptions motivations that we have never questioned or examined we inherited them and pass them on regardless of whether they are the chains and imprison us or the keys that set us free I want to offer an idea that every interaction with your child is an opportunity to examine these beliefs thoughts assumptions motivations and values so as to become more conscious and give to our children keys instead of chains one key tool to use here is to consider how could this be a chain whenever you're doing something more imposing some value or belief or whatever on your child here's another way of putting this every interaction you have with your child is an opportunity to either an evil or boost their essence or crush in the militia and in doing so every interaction with your child is an opportunity to either stand with and on the side of your own expansion or to close yourself down to your expansion let me give you a practical example of what I mean let's say that your child is so excited because he found a Frogger sneakers and it's really dirty so that kid runs in the with mud everywhere is so excited in this open state to show you what he found you're at a crossroads in that moment as a parent you can choose according to your beliefs according to your values according to those types of things but I hope you question them because of a child approaches you that attitude of being so excited to share something with you you can decide at that moment that it's more important a bolster their self esteem and say well that's incredible and also increase your connection with them by responding to that bid in a positive way or you can crush that child's openness in that moment and teach them the death clean floor is more important you might see in that moment that keeping the house clean may be a lesson for another day because if you get sucked at them for getting the house money you will shut down the excitement openness in connection to you the printing process is nothing more than an accumulation of moments that are opportunities for us to be present in conscious like that that is the only way rule parent them the way that causes them to become self actualized adults who are happy we take this approach to parenting even discipline will take on a form that adds to a child incentive diminishes a child so in this moment I ask you to understand that the dynamic that is happening on the spiritual level is the reverse of what we actually think it is between parents and children it is not the parent was calm child into the expanded place it is the child who is expanding the parenting to that expanded place and it is the parents job to enable that I also ask you to take on this perspective that every interaction with your child is an opportunity to enhance their spirit and their unique essence or to diminish and every time you get to conflict with your child consider that they are merely calling you into your own expansion and often by reflecting to you something that you decide within yourself long ago and need to learn to re own an accepted part of yourself and eventually love I'm gonna give you one to appear to become conscious of these unconscious aspects with in the house we have to ask ourselves when we're in the minute of being upset about something your kid is doing or some interaction we're having with them why am I getting so upset in the scenario your children will continue to near the aspects of you that you have not integrated so as to integrate them and become more whole every moment we answered the call of her children to become more conscious and a special become more conscious of what we're unconscious of we are standing on the side of our own expansion we will end the conflict between not only us another people push specially awesome our children awesome ourselves this is an awesome opportunity now when we do this the answer about how to best parent or child doesn't have to come from a book it will come to us directly as if the answer was always knocking on the damn door we just never answered I'm //
"2017-08-26 15:47:06"
The New Justice System (The Right Way To Deal With Crime) - Teal Swan -
\\in a previous episode I explained the concept of fragmentation explained that even though you experience yourself living as one body within that body your personality spectrum has fragmented and so internally it's a Siamese twin effect you've got different aspects of you that are pulling in the opposite direction of different aspects view others that are friends of Saddam others exist to understand more about this concept I suggest you watch my video titled fragmentation the worldwide disease when a person grows up in an atmosphere of shame that shame is a trauma that causes fragmentation within a person's personality spectrum and what happens is certain cells develop that are designed to hold and contain that shame others are designed to keep us away from that type of vulnerability they're designed to basically escape from our shame and protect us no it's really important understand this dichotomy that exists within people you can imagine that we develop 3 distinct kinds of cells in response to shaming in circumstances that cause us to feel completely vulnerable in that sense one solicitor the embodiments of whatever were ashamed about so we can keep those traits away from the rest of our personality that we show to the world 2 cells that are embodiments of whatever we believed would protect our vulnerability from the world and 3 souls that are embodiments of Reverend ability which the protector self hides from the world for example let's imagine that we were the scapegoat for our family so all of the family members in our family focused on us as if we were the one that was the family issue chances are the shame that is the trauma and that type of scenario causes us to create one let's Kolata Siamese twin within us who is the embodiment of what we were shamed about so let's say that our family focused on us is it was wrong with us is that we are mentally ill one of our cells or internal Siamese twins might be totally mentally ill so when we ask it to appear to us it might come in a straight jacket looking completely crazy maybe emaciated and that would be at the look of that particular shame self we might also have a self that appears to us is like a black demonic looking entity that is intent on destroying people this may be the embodiment of what we believe will protect us from the world or from the family unit we might also have a 4 year old child who is powerless to make mom and dad approves of him and you can't figure out what he did so wrong they're treating him like he's the problem in the family and so incredibly mentally ill this is the embodiment of our vulnerability relative to shame what are black demon self in the scenario would be trying to hide from the world if in this previous scenario we were constantly treatises of some aspect of us was really bad this is the heart of shame there's something about you that's bad wrong then oftentimes what happens is that we develop this type of the demonic looking self it is the embodiment of what we see is bad or evil or wrongness and it's vis selves within us that we have the most resistance to integrating because by their very nature they've already been rejected divide dis owned pushed away by the rest of society so we have the same attitude towards them we want to reject them make them not a part of us get rid of them we have that talk with that type of attitude towards them but wanting to fix them change them or make them go away is exactly the attitude that creates them in the first place because it is the attitude of there's something wrong with them which reinforces this attitude of shame when we seek to understand the shame souls with compassion we see that they too are vulnerable souls even those who present themselves as all powerful malevolent evil contained the pain of being treated how they're treated and of not being able to have the approval and inclusion and safety they really want if we can get to and directly address the pain that these cells contain we can change the way that they manifest in our life we can dramatically reduce the shame we feel in our life and re on the incredibly valuable things didn't despondent this process of rejecting them to find in this shame self the shame so if that is the embodiment of whatever were ashamed about what we have to do is to ask directly to see the part of us that we feel bad about not the one that feels the shame and vulnerability first the aspect that we don't like about yourself when it appears we need to address it with an attitude of wanting to understand it completely having compassion for wanting to meet its needs wanting to know what those are wanting to reach for the vulnerability that's underneath there overt appearance of what we've judged is about for example let's say that we feel really upset ourselves because we just watched ourselves get mad at our son or daughter in that moment we feel bad about the fact we just had that negative interaction can close our eyes and ask to see the one they got angry perhaps the image that will appear in our minds I will be furious raging giant made of fire you wanna observe your initial reaction to this being that shows up when you ask that question how do you feel towards it you feel repelled by it you wanna get rid of it are you trying to fix it what is your attitude towards it this tells you about your relationship to this Siamese twin within you remember that this being is the embodiment of what you've tried to disarm in yourself perhaps in this case you're reasonably that angers locate all so this self took that anger for you so you can separate yourself from now try to understand what is causing it to feel so angry not you what is causing it to feel so angry what does it need and want and why you gotta dig deeper here because maybe your initial thing will be okay so this self that is the embodiment of fire wants to burn everything to the ground but when you dig deeper what you find out is that it's thanks of burning everything to the ground is the only way that it can stay safe so you can see there the digging deeper the need is an early to burn everything down the need is safety so your question then becomes how do I provide safety for this Siamese twin within me is there a visualization like you do where I could take it to a safe space are there any changes that I can make having done all of those types of things having gotten touch with what it needs attorney changes to my day to day life that I could make the could make this aspect of me feel safer colors to paint the walls locks to put on the doors maybe classes to take about how to resolve conflict what could make me feel sleeper not this concept that there is always a positive motivation in fact behind the things that we judge is evil and bad tip you off that most the time not if most the time Everytime when we see these evil cells within ourselves and within somebody else just the cover for some vulnerability and that vulnerability is what's hiding the actual need and that need which we need to address what you need to do is to meet the needs of these aspects of you in a way that helped them to feel wanted needed and valued by yourself is that if I'm wanton rejected one of the best strategies you can use for the solstice to re purpose them so let's say that you ask which one of you is really angry there was a self within you that is I'm gonna comes in is this giant fire being instead of trying to get to put its flames outer move it somewhere else to try to get rid of it what if you gave it a different role within you sensitive burning everything around you down to the ground what if you could find another Siamese twin within you that was vulnerable and to give this aspect of you the job protecting it so it's almost standing there like a giant fire wall creating safety for this other part that's actually a way to access the vulnerability that belongs to this part and to re integrate the protector aspect with the vulnerable aspect when we're in the process of integrating one of our inner selves we won on earth and acknowledge the vulnerability in past winning underneath the Shamen protector personnel is within ourselves 2 we directly strategize ways to take care of these vulnerable aspects within us by seeking to compassionately understand them 3 we repurpose them using the unique needs and guess within each part to integrate them in with the rest of our internal personalities so that they understand that they are both wanted needed by us this is to provide connection and belonging within ourselves so at this point you're asking how does all this fit in with the justice system do you remember what I said to you that these protect yourself the ones that are aggressive the ones that we see is evil the ones that we are basically embodying shame with number I said they were basically a cover for the fun blasted commercials maybe this is true in society as well I'm gonna start this whole conversation off with the concept that there absolutely is no such thing as a negative intention on the face of the earth because every single level one thing that's ever done or been Evelyn thing that is done is done for one reason and one reason only the desire to feel better that's why someone murder someone that's why someone tries to steal things that's why someone gets into a relationship that's why someone he's the specific food it doesn't matter whether an act is what you do judge as bad or good it is only ever done because the person wants to feel better can you call that a malevolent intention I sure can't so these acts that are committed that we judges evil or bad happen because in the moment a person cannot work out a more effective way to feel better this means they're all done to escape from vulnerability instead of to care take it true rectally did you hear that I'm going to spell it across the screen so you get every crime committed is committed in order to try to escape from the vulnerability so that the person doesn't feel it instead of to care take it directly for example let's say that a wife cheats on her husband this husband is having difficulty managing his emotions already she can't cope with the jealousy the jealousy which is a feeling of loss and a feeling of unworthiness that's the vulnerability he can't figure out how to cope with it differently what to do about it to directly take care of those emotional states so instead what he does is to escape from them by getting rid of the threat that is causing the Gelsey itself he kills her so let's see here murders her he's doing that to escape from the vulnerability that he feels so today when we meet with people who commit crimes many of them committed to avoid the sensation of shame itself what we did we lock them up we put him in solitary confinement often we spend our time shaming them reminding them how horrible they are and by doing so not only do we reinforce the vulnerability but also and more importantly the detector personalities within them who are designed to care take that vulnerability much of which can be very dangerous if people are watching this video closely what I just basically said is that we're making criminals much much much more much more dangerous by approaching these crimes that are committed as well as the people behind them in the way that we are addressing them in the future we are going to understand the concept of how we deal with these aspects which are the embodiments of shame and as such are programs that we're using for the justice system are going to drastically different I personally am going to design these programs I'm gonna start the centers regardless of who's with me and who's against me but let me let you in to the little secret formula which we're going to be using 12 on earth and acknowledge the vulnerability in past wounding beneath these actions and underneath the shame and protector personalities within each person to to directly strategize ways to take care of the vulnerable aspects within people which forced them to do such actions so that they can learn how to care take their own vulnerability directly instead of using their protector personalities to take actions to escape away from their vulnerability this dovetails with learning ways to meet their needs directly in ways that don't harm button said benefit not only them but also everyone around them 3 to use unique needs and gifts that are inherent within each person that are on earth during this process so they can be re purpose and thus integrated into society so that they understand that they're both wanted needed by the rest of society this is to provide connection belong within society any of you feel terrified about the step should watch my video titled the cicret overcoming your problems in which I explain the concept of exultation what's so awesome about this the temple is the exact same template that we use for integrating aspects of our self that are basically the mirror of our criminals within society so let's go back to the previous scenario where I gave you an example of this fire raging aspect of a person so let's imagine that when you close your eyes you see this aspect within you this raging fire personality let's imagine that that gets suppressed enough that there is enough of a build up of energy that now that aspect of her personality spectrum is the one that actually takes an axe and kill someone now I gave you a template for dealing with this personality in the way work actually benefits that of hurt other people in other words that axe murder wouldn't even occur the way to go about it is to approach it with compassion and understanding understanding what the need invulnerability is beneath the out initial look better house the way it's presenting itself and once those needs are met there is obviously nothing to protect so it so in the previous scenario where we had ourselves turn inside and we saw the aspect of us that was raging angry and the one that actually struck out by yelling at a kid raid we saw that aspect is of raging fire personality this is a protector personality now it's in these aspects of our personality spectrum that are actually committing these crimes that doesn't make them bad they're defending availability and what I said is that when you access the vulnerability and meet the needs of that vulnerability directly there's no need for the protector personality and so that crime is not committed if we were able to care take the vulnerability we sell them in the and safety we would never progress to a place were yelling at a kid so isn't this interesting that if we take that strategy that I just laid out for how to re integrate these shame based personalities with an arse own personality spectrum that what we do with in society is nothing but an exact mirror of it but instead of that happening with our internal Siamese twins of the personalities within us it's happening extremely no the mirror of our internal embodiments of shame in society his criminals the people we have locked up in jail instead of genuine integration in connection with other people you cannot hurt other people without feeling the impact of that hurt yourself this was always meant to be the intrinsic motivation for social harmony not the extrinsic motivation of punishment reward rejection of approval we have the chance to end this pattern of torment we will begin by ending this pattern of torment within ourselves the aspects of you that you are ashamed of need to be brought closer into a state of belonging with you not push further away and by doing so they can use their unique characteristics to benefit every other part of yourself the new justice system will operate according to the principle that what needs to happen with these people were the most ashamed of within our society is no different than what we need to do with those aspects of ourselves in our internal spectrum what needs to happen is those deep wounds and vulnerabilities need to be on earth taken care of and resolved and then these people need to be integrated into society as deeply as possible which is the exact opposite of pushing them further away a good week ... //
"2017-08-19 15:50:25"
Fragmentation (The Worldwide Disease) - Teal Swan -
\\WNED and for a living it is in the state it say that here she is on the state of oneness and experiences integration and wholeness within him or herself trauma by definition is an experience that cause us to stress that cannot be resolved no trauma goes far beyond what we normally think of this drama things like wars and sexual abuse trauma includes things that we would consider mundane it's a trauma to be born in our mainstream medical facilities today it's a trauma to be weaned it's a Troma feel extreme jealousy when there's no way to resolve that situation when you're 6 or 7 these traumas almost all of us experience no not almost all of us experience and yet we don't consider them traumas the problem is that if we don't have a way to resolve in this integrated trauma we experience when we're young we must dissociate from it consciousness is so functions like water therefore you can imagine the dissociation process as it occurs within consciousness by thinking about a river if you're looking at a river from above you can see that the larger river often branches off into smaller rivers and each time this happens there is less water available to the main river at the moment of trauma when we dissociate part of our consciousness branches off from our main consciousness just like this river our consciousness splits just like the river does it is an act of self preservation it's easier to comprehend how this process of our consciousness splitting affects when we pictured in terms of how it impacts our personality we have to imagine that by splitting we've fragment are you go I will help you understand this is a really easy way I want you to imagine as is accurate that you have one body but you usually think you have one personality to the kind of resides in of this body and uses it but when splitting occurs that's not what's actually happening internally or personality becomes what kind of like Siamese twins so if you don't know Siamese twins are conjoined twins they share the same body and yet they have 2 totally distinct personalities we may have hundreds of these Siamese twins internally so technically they're all conjoined because they all share one body your body but each one has its own identity its own desires needs for active strengths weaknesses in appearance for example inside my body I can have an aspect muscle to warrior princess one is like a male war admiral ones like a tiny crying child one that's a queen one that's a cat one that's an extraterrestrial one it's a demon some might even be able to give me names for them selves I ask them to there's really no limit to how many can be inside a person I've seen as little as 3 in as many as hundreds and each one has an opposite in the moment of trauma there's a split between the vulnerable self and the self the coped with that vulnerability so as to solve preserve the mistake that we make within society is that we don't think the people have multiple personalities they do we reserve those types of labels of social identity disorder and so forth for people that are so dysfunctional with their mortal personalities that they'll walk up to women say hi and Nancy next month of you like I don't know who you're talking to 3 now people who dissociate to that degree we say they have little personality disorder but here's the thing there's not a single person on the face of this planet that doesn't have multiple personalities the questions to what degree I know you may be resisting this concept but stick with me for a minute how many times have you said that somebody has multiple sides to how many times have you said somebody seems like Jekyll and Hyde how many times do you yourself feel torn between making a decision making another decision these are all examples of circumstances that come about as a result of a conflict between our Siamese twins with them now here's something huge our degree of internal suffering is about the degree of harmony or lack thereof between these internal selves our world is a reflection of our internal state as human beings now look at our world not one day goes by that someone isn't declaring war was someone else there isn't some kind of genocide there isn't slaughter houses somebody's and hating someone else someone isn't denying the fact that something exists so naturally not a day goes by that that type of interaction isn't happening inside us as well until we re integrate just like the world there's always some personalities within us that love other personalities within a somewhat that hate others some the protect other some that want to control others someone knowledge the existence of others and some that don't know that others exist so you know I said that within us the Siamese twin kind of splitting process there's always a personality to the opposite of each other almost like there's always when you create black there's always one that is created that's white so in the moment of trauma you fragment between the self that is available on the sofa protects the vulnerable self now here's super super important information we always identify with a protector aspect of the personality so this would be the Siamese twin that was protecting our vulnerability and that's who we actually think our personality is so this is where I'm about to break it to you the your personality is completely fake it doesn't matter how much you think it's really what it is is an amalgamation personalities that kept you safe in your specific circumstance in your childhood for example given my career you can see that I've identified with the aspect of myself that's an hour and a teacher worldwide perhaps this aspect of me that understands everything was created to cope with a blind siding trauma that I didn't under stand perhaps within me therefore is an aspect an inner child self even this terrified and confused that quite literally just does not understand what is happening in other words we come in with raw potential but that raw potential is sorted out we basically identify with the personalities that kept us safe and suppressed in my rejecting disown any of the aspects of us our personality subtypes that didn't keep us safe and hold our vulnerability now the problem with denying rejecting a disowning things is what eventually the brain goes I don't want to deal with this because obviously focusing on isn't getting me anywhere and for going to deny reject to sound and then everything else then why not just come unaware of it let's make it's a conscious so those aspects of your personality spectrum we could call them those personalities within you totally unknown to you even though they may become plainly obvious to everyone around you fragmentation is a function of consciousness and consciousness is everything if you understand the concept of of god itself which is everything else being a conscious thing that means of consciousness in your bathroom door that means there's consciousness in every different aspect of your body this consciousness everywhere and so anything can potentially fragment now I want you to think about how the supplies to the body because one of the primary reasons for disease with in the human body or not I'm just human body any body animal plant whatever is also fragmentation I'll give you an example of what I mean let's say that there's a woman who's experienced sexual trauma in her childhood that trauma caused her room itself to going to state of fragmentation so the consciousness of her ovaries is different than the consciousness of her full opium tubes is different in the consciousness of her womb is different in the conscious of her vagina so let's imagine that she is infertile but the doctors can't find any physical reason for that if we measure her ovaries are like many cells that can talk to us they might say I don't want a baby everything precious gets taken away for me this might be enough for the body to simply not produce viable aches in another woman with the same issue this overlying issue with the consciousness so the ovaries might turn into polycystic ovarian syndrome but the body is literally holding onto and not releasing it takes if we talk to the uterus in this very same woman it might feel mostly warm and nurturing it's him so excited to create life I'm ready if we talk to her cervix it might violently say fuck you nothing's getting through me ever again the cervix now is serving as a protector against everything including sperm as you can see only one part of many actually once the baby and so all of her energies not actually lined with conceiving a child even though this woman could consciously look at you and say that it's the one thing she wants in her life more than anything else everything has consciousness so everything can be talked to as a citizen individual self so as to understand it no it feel it meet its needs and do anything we can so it becomes a part of the bigger hole in a more harmonious way there are several strategies that we can use to reintegrate fragments aspects within our being that happen as result of trauma but first I suggest becoming aware of them the first place and to do this you have to notice when there are ships energetically that occur within your personality within the way you feel and within the way you're presenting yourself to the world now I'm gonna demonstrated in this way I want you to mention that this class represents your body not when we encounter the external world or circumstances an external world we'd tend to experience what I call a takeover of one of these personalities uses the protector personalities within our personality spectrum whenever Siamese twins basically seizes control of the body so let's say that you're standing in line and somebody in that same line gets angry and starts yelling now you feel a complete energetic shift within you start standing differently you start to feel armored what's happened in this moment is that that Siamese twin that's in charge of protecting in that moment seizes control the body and now you're basically acting like that protector personality whatever it acts like maybe it's more like a football player and it's gonna be tough it's voice is low it doesn't have an issue with conflict it's gonna deal with it directly now let's see in another scenario let's see that same person you go home right in the minute you walk in the door you feel calmer maybe you see your wife when you walk through the door and suddenly the energetic ship the happens with news you feel young some you're feeling vulnerable about the situation through this is a take over another personality subtype maybe this is your inner child that sees mommy and your wife he goes on the swing to be touched and held right now you're kind of going wow how can all this be happening within me in one person right now let's say that in another circumstance now let's say that you have to get past suddenly you're feeling like a total Brainiac suddenly you can access the part of you that's like really really really really smart and even it feels like your body might change so you might feel tall and skinny where is before you filling football player this is a take over another Siamese twins a totally different identity even though you are not aware of its name right now it's a different personality subtype is taken over so as to perform the job to the best of its ability of taking the test that is just us meeting with 3 different personality subtypes we can use the awareness of this happening within us to figure out which personality we're experiencing and also what's the opposite side of that so for example let's say that in a moment I'm in a word general personality to the opposite of that may be it Daisey flower personality one method we can use this to close our eyes and asked to see this part of our ourselves and our minds eye we then look the image appear however it appears that helps us we can see if this part in the US has a name we can begin to observe its audience behaviors and perspectives and wants and needs and motivations we can ask any kind of questions we can explore its relationship with other parts of the this is in fact roughly the strategy used by method like inner child work in parts working voice dialogue an internal family systems therapy if you're interested in getting more help to explore your own fragmentation and to create further integration then I suggest that you take it into your own hands to seek out some of these therapies if you want to they can be extremely beneficial for Pete because you know I like to turn it up a few notches so I'm going to expose to you another way to experience your internal sign is twins everything in this universe is made of consciousness like I said before unconsciousness does not get destroyed know what a method actor in Hollywood knows that other people don't know is the acting can go far beyond pretending you can actually take on the consciousness of something completely by letting go first of whatever consciousness you have now another aggressively putting this is I can let go of teal Swanson was to literally allow the consciousness of something else into my embodiment and when this occurs in the spiritual field we call it possession a method actor is going into a state of willing possession when they're in their roles there literally becoming it is not pretend and as a result the point of attraction changes around them and that's often why they die after their most difficult and darkest rules when we're pretending we're experiencing something through the filter of our own consciousness but what a method actor is doing is removing this filter entirely now why is a method actor able to do this so easily when it would be difficult for some of us it's because their level of identification is so very weak to be aggressive I'm just gonna say they have identity disorders majority of people who are really awesome actress in Hollywood them very very limited grasp on their own sense of self identity so they're able to just let it go and take on something else really beneficial if you wanna make millions of dollars how Hollywood is put in data delivery can present some issues however all people can actually learn to do this and you can do it in a way that benefits you it is also possible to split our consciousness intentionally so that part of us is experiencing a possession state and another part is witnessing ourselves experiencing the possession state that's perhaps a more safe way to go about it intentional possession can be used as a tool to understand anything that is hidden in the sub mind it can also be used to heal the relationship between this integrated parts of yourself there are many other applications for this but I'm not going to be going into them in this video because several of them are too dangerous for the call average citizen to be using instead I'm gonna give you a safe version of how to use this technique for example using the previous analogy you could decide to allow the consciousness fear left ovary to take over your body you can state internally to yourself or choose with your intention I accept to become my left ovary then what you do is to surrender like you let go of the concept I was doing it until swan and you allow the energy that is in your left over to take over your entire body almost like it's filling in all of the spaces so you are now your ovary that means that when you talk now or right you'll be talking writing in I but I no longer being till swan I being the ovary don't think about the answers that you're giving you want this to be more like a stream of consciousness exercise where basically without thinking you're just answering so you could have other people ask you questions you could ask yourself questions you could write them down and answer them as you're right over your left over that's the type of exercise he wanted to know if you don't want to be the one that's being willingly possessed what you can do is ask somebody else who wants to to play that part of you for you so they could become your left over in then you can have a conversation with your own left ovary think about how incredible your awareness of this aspect of yourself could be if you start talking to it like that know that anything the center fell during this exercise is valid and has appeared for an important reason what you have to understand is that if somebody else accepts the possession state of that part of you you have to watch them with the attitude of whatever is being said is directly being said by this part of me it was really really common that when we see aspects of yourself that are buried in our subconscious mind our first reaction is usually too rejecting I'd disown it basically pushed away and say I don't know how that's true for me this is not your job in this exercise your job is to see how is this true for me how is this trip for me assuming it is true how could this be true for me when you're done you can internally stay to yourself with your intention or to the other person if they're the one doing it I now release myself from being my left ovary or I know release you from being my left ovary and what you can do to help yourself come back is to re own your personality so I say okay I now re on my personally as till swan it is 2017 or whatever Uranus I am in this place I am this many years old this is what I do for a living kind of re calibrating to your personal make sure when you do this that you don't do it with the attitude that any part of use batter has to change or that it must unify with other parts because all this is resistance to individual parts it is disapproval for their fragmentation and I can tell you they had good reason to do so you wanna do this with the attitude of compassionately and genuinely wanting to understand it so that you can better meet its needs and bring it closer to yourself rather than pushing it away from yourself the goal of free integration is not to force these fragmented parts back together again nor is it selectively identify with one partner kick out other parts from European the coal is in fact to realize that you are simultaneously all of these parts all of the Siamese twins and none of them there is also a part of you that is essentially in the middle watching them all but the best way to conceptualize of this aspect of use to think about the infinity symbol now you've got this point in the center and then you've got the extremes to either side this is a lot like that aspects of yourself the protected your vulnerability and the aspects of yourself that are vulnerable and in between them is self that is able to look at all of them and not completely identify with any of them but also help meet all of their needs in other words this part of you is pure awareness which sits in the center of unconsciousness coaches I am aware that this episode being about such a widen extensive topic we'll leave you with a plethora of questions that are unanswered and a plethora of implications well there's a reason I'm not going to go further because I want you to be pondering this concept fragmentation is in the universe throughout the week I want you to start watching for the fragmentation within yourself and also watching for it was in the world I want you to think about the implications about the state of fragmentation within yourself and also within the world it is after all the worldwide disease //
"2017-08-17 17:35:22"
Diabetes + High Blood Pressure (Thought Patterns That Cause Diabetes)
\\a tiller was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure and pre diabetes I want to ask what vibration is associated with these conditions it's a loving and all I'm left because this is why I love the synchronization of them slickness is complete synchronicity Katie remember how it was talking earlier in the day about expectations and we did this little list about patients what do I expect of myself right high blood pressure is about completely B. S. unrealistic expectations of yourself but put so much pressure on you this year in a constant state of overwhelm nope pre diabetes dovetails with this perfectly why because these diabetic conditions are about the fact that you're not actually experiencing the fun and the joy in the bliss of life it sucks now what is life look like obviously if you're putting so much pressure on yourself with your high expectations that are unrealistic that nothing ever feels good obviously you're stripping life free of all of the feel good aspects of life so they are perfectly just I mean you couldn't have a better diagnosis vibrational if you tried than those 2 things together there perfect partners so what I would do if I were you is to get real conscious of these intense expectations and the pressure that's on you all day long I want you to consider something it better other people in your life put the pressure on you as well and I what I want you to do when you're in a conversation this and by the way get ready if those of you who want to try this this is really crappy like it's not going to feel good but in a conversation when you're in a group or even just you end up hurt one other person I want you to be watching the conversation kind of like an observer so you can have the conversation but at the same time kind of watches what you're gonna be watching for is where the pressure is going in in the conversation know if we've grown up in dysfunctional homes we are blind to where the pressures in the conversation and so we're not even aware that it's been put on us because we're so used to taking all that responsibility so I will I but I want you to notice where the pressures being put so let's say let's say that you're in a situation where ... you're confronting somebody about why they did or didn't do something and they say well it's because you didn't do something Great Depression went back to you or let's say that you're you're is a family so there's 3 of you in the family and you're confronting us what one person on something and they say all you well you know I could accept for this other person right did excellencies they're actually putting the pressure on the other person so tracker really hit relationship conversation for where the pressure is actually being put with each sentence pressure on your suppression of the people notice your tendency to put it on yourself noticed the tendency for other people to put it on you and realize that this is the kind of pressure you're under I'm not going to have to talk to you about what to do after that point you get really mad like this will be one of those awakening moments you're like oh my god the pressures on me all the time we do the overtime I can handle it so that point I'm not going to tell you what to do it's gonna be obvious you're going to probably have a few blow ups with a few of the people in your life for your like I'm not taking it anymore you don't put this on this is not a shimmer responsibility right when you figure with theirs was yours and you can slowly start to focus on how instead of putting this overwhelming pressure on myself because I make it a little bit more enjoyable so instead of cooking tonight maybe I will just order pizza that so you eat pizza or whatever making those types of decisions that take the pressure off is what's gonna introduce the sweetness of life back into your life and that's going to take care of the pre diabetes in is also going to decrease your blood pressure //
"2017-08-14 18:40:44"
I Hate People
\\I struggle a lot with extreme hate and sabotage and I'm addicted to it in the way that I'm afraid that I cannot stop the thing is that I don't want to share anything I just want everybody to everything for me or I feel sorry for myself instead of doing something about it so I'm afraid that I will be lost here can I just congratulate you here for a minute I have to tell you what a relief it is as good as spiritual guidance I have to tell you a relief it is for somebody to be that friggin honest because this is the reality that's going on in a lot of people on what they're doing is looking you in the face of being like you know I just I love everything I recognize one listen it's sometimes frustrates me but only got like just to have you straight of say you know what I like I have hatred I wanna cedras people this is so freeing so thank you for that continue I'm afraid that I will be lost here that I funk took my mission what can I do to him self hating aspect were held myself out of this pattern was the most loving thing to do and I do the same thing over and over well I well you would only be doing something similar over and over if he was still working for you so one of the supplies that we tell ourselves without realizing it's a lie is that something that we're doing isn't working one there's a part of us that absolutely thinks it's still working and I would if I were you I would engage with upper so for example let's say that when I was a child I was in a home where mom was constantly angry and just reach full but I watch that every time she was angry my dad would instantly ... turn into like a little golden retriever and do whatever she said and so that's how she stayed safe now I might learn them that anger is actually had to get people to pay attention and like you to keep you safe and that they're going to do what you need them to do now one part of me might look in anger and say it's not our fault I don't really want to be doing that interesting anymore and I can see how it's so charging my relationships while the other one is still saying no if I'm not angry no one 's gonna listen to what I have to say people are just going to completely blow me off I'm gonna be unsafe and you don't fill in the blank wall la so you go stir addressing that side of you in it we can strategize different ways to deal with us so for example ... let's say that I have that aspect of me that feels like anger is the only way to get anything right you know get anybody to do anything I might then have a conversation with my partner and friends about this and say look cake so like when I just have a level 2 voice I literally experience you not taking me seriously is not until I escalate level 10 then you're taking me seriously and then I don't want to be angry all the time so what can we do together in this relationship to make it so that you're taking this seriously at level 2 what do you need me to do now one of the things that we could strategize is writing so like you know that the people in and around the people around me like if I have something very serious to say but I don't get angry about it I wanna be level 10 alright it down now they know that if I write them down some in this serious important so they're gonna taking them and not instantaneously blowing off right and this might be a way that that angry aspect of me to get its needs met in a different way so consider that what you think of sabotage letter she sabotaged because here's the thing there's no such thing as sabotage I want everybody who's watching this workshop today like write that down in your journal there is no such thing to sabotage there cannot be a single aspect of your personality that's actually in him that resistance to you with doing everything for your benefit even if it we can look at our behavior and say oh my god that's complete sabotage and actually isn't this is a part that thinks that it's saving your life that way so it and unless you meet that need another way it's going to continue to think of saving your life in that way that's the case with the inner critic that's the case with our shame that were attached to anything so we got a search look at the part of us that feels like that's actually serving us positively in order to get out of the pattern I'm not worried about you by the way if you're like conscious nothing you can tell me straight up those things by yourself you're fine //
"2017-08-12 13:04:40"
The Relationship Elixir (A Technique to Improve Your Relationship)
\\hello there I'm just going to begin this episode by telling it like it is the reality is people suck at relationships something I blame all people for this I mean look at our school system which it 13 street years of things like math and science and English and geography and history and that one day on relationships even though they are the heart of life and also the most difficult part of life also the miscommunication happens in relationships it's so extreme it's a wonder that we can manage relationships at all we're basically left in a guessing game I have no idea how to make this relationship good I have no idea how to make us happy with the whole secure relationship and if you don't have an information base who you're doing is washing your parents and hoping that they got it right which trust me they didn't so basically wind up totally screwed but today I'm about to ends a love that guessing game for you mmhm I want you to admit that you entrance sure elation there are now 3 entity relations one is you the other is the other person that you're in a relationship and the third entity is the relationship self at any given time the energy can be said from either of you in the relationship into one of these entities so your energy could be around towards yourself towards the other person or towards the relationship sometimes energy that's focused on the relationship bleeds over and feeds one of the people in the relationship this is especially the case when by doing that we take pressure off of one person at the other person however this isn't usually the case it's not usually the case that when you give energy to the third party in this situation which is the relationship that it bleeds over and feeds energy into either partner and this is one of the biggest problems that we have in relationships is one of the people in their relationships or both potentially feeling like they're not nourished enough or fed with enough loving energy the relationship and I'm gonna tell you that there are 3 reasons why this is the case the first is that we are putting lots of energy and the relationship but not into the other person we are in the relationship with second as were putting lots of energy towards things we think are for the other person that they don't feel loved that way so some shit is mis communication about what feeds the other person with love or 3 and this is the extreme rarity one person the relationship is genuinely I'm interested in giving it is only interested in taking from the relationship from the other person this is a parasitic relationship and Allison my out of one but because this last scenario where somebody is just wanting to feed offices the extreme rarity more often than not if we're in a relationship where we feel like one person the self centered or is getting all the attention or whatever it is usually because either we're feeding all of our energy into that third entity of the relationship or the energy to work thinking they were feeling towards the other person is and how the other person actually receives love so it's basically a miscommunication is it getting out of this conundrum is a 2 part process and I promise you you're gonna love this the first part of this process is each of you in the relationship are going to go your separate directions and with a piece of paper on your computer you're gonna make a list of all the things that the other person could do for you specifically for you that make you feel nervous to make you feel loved then what you're going to do is you're gonna rank each 1 of them from 1 to 1010 being this is the most important thing to me that's just a total job growth like dropper while a love that right in one being it matters to me but it's not the top of my priority in terms of how I feel loved then you're going to rearrange them so your top priority things the things that are listed 10 are at the top the 987 and so on and so forth so that when you give this list to your loved 1 which you will be doing they have a list of the things that they can do specifically for you that make the most maximum impact here's the trick about how to rate this list so the best way to read this list is in third person said a first person sensitive sending them a letter saying you could do this for me say you could do this thing for teal if it was me in a certain sense so you have a little bit of an understanding how this goes I'm just gonna give you the list that I made 10 buyer gets that say I care for no other reason than that you love her temp taker on a date that you planned by surprise 10 put effort into holidays family days of community gatherings the creek tradition even though this is mostly for the family relationship it means a lot because it takes pressure off of her if you're driving the togetherness ship 10 helper through her anxiety in the morning help her process issues with other people 10 help her set up and devise ways to create passive income 10 be a gentleman this means opening doors caring things walking on the street side of the walkway helping her out of her jacket leading hurts your hander being attuned every state in the it's as if she were a prized possession 10 make sure she's protected children from unnecessary problems lock up the house at night make sure she's safe wherever she goes 10 become until swan expert really put effort into understanding her in her in our world 9 taker had to ballet or opera 9 act excited and enthusiastic when she creates something or does something that she's passionate about it's a way to say I really care 7 hold her tummy aids take her to a restaurant but specifically for her not let's just go get food 8 tell her she's beautiful 8 keep your beard shave so the stubble though her her face 8 if you know she's struggling with something or wanting to get into something put the initiative for to make it happen or to get her help with that or to do it 7 foot rubs 7 stopped by whole foods and get a smorgasbord of things and bring home for dinner for her 7 hug from behind 6 plan a romantic getaway were the things that are done on that get away or for her 60 something to make the house even more beautiful like a project you know she'd love 5 love knows 5 take a dance class for taker to do art somewhere 3 maker rose petal baths 3 pack a picnic and take her somewhere to eat it 3 center suite text during the day to drive her places that she needs to go so she feels supported not on her arm second you some understanding about what this list might look like you want to make it as long as you can possibly make it because you want to when you give the other person this list have them be able to look through it a huge list of things and have the opportunity to choose off that list now step to move this process is that you guys are going to exchange lists and have a conversation about each item on this list from there and this is where this step to get some really really interesting now you are going to expose to the other person the relationship the things you feel like you do for them now I know this is hard for some people when I do this was couple sometimes they go totally blank note like a terrified basically to tell the other person but for the sake of the exercise I want you to pretend that you're just talking to a neutral like third party not talking to your partner trying some is just dropping in and wants to know one of the things you do for this other person specifically for them when you read this list town you're going to share it with each other and with each item on the list you get to say whether that does actually make sense that it's for you or whether that doesn't feel like the case all in other words you're gonna tell each other what do you actually feel like that thing that they listed is giving to you or not here's an example that I like to use because it does such a good job of highlighting the difference between the perception that some people have about what's giving in other people for most women sex is in fact a transaction it's something that they give to men so that they can get relationship security so let's pretend in the circumstance that a guy listed I make love to you is something that he gives to and does for the woman he's with most women in this area are going to be like you know like hell no sex is not for me let's just get this straight the reason that I do it is because sickly if I'm honest it's trying to get that transaction so to speak giving to you in fact but the benefit I get out of it is relationship security so obviously there's an issue she's not gonna feel loved by him when he gives her sacks it's one of those common misunderstandings we can debate the health of the state of being a leader but for the sake of this episode man conflict is given to her when in fact she feels like she's giving to him so often one or in relationships where both parties feel like the other one is self centered what we find is that both of them are doing things that they think is for the other person but at the same time all given example I was working with the couple and what they did this go running in the morning together no the man listed going running with her as something that he does for her on her list she listed going running with him is something that she does for him and they were completely shocked when they shared this listen both were like we went a minute I'm doing that for you and he's like wait wait wait wait I'm doing it for you so they're both extending energy towards each other convince the other person a self centered because they just never really fully happy with how much they're being given to the on that same list the husband listed going to art fairs is something he does for her and she looked at it as something she does for him by the end of the day each person felt depleted by the other and it was because they're spending energy towards the other person was the other person didn't actually wanted so when they figured this out they stopped running together and they agreed that if they want to art fairs that would do it with the mentality that was mutually interesting not giving to the other on either of their parts their focus then turned towards what things they could do specifically for each other that would have maximum impact so what you find when you do this is that lots of time and effort is being spent running up against a brick wall instead buy stock in a losing strategy space is actually there to put energy and things that actually do work that actually do have a loving impact on others and often they require much less effort as well sometimes when we do something for another person in the relationship but something that we like and so we're actually getting a benefit out of his well that's like the best case scenario this happens often when somebody is doing something for the other person but they actually really do like doing nothing too so it's like a gives you and they give to me at the same time awesome if that's the case but I'm gonna tell you a little bit of a trick here and I want this to change the way you think about relationships when you feed your energy and your focus your loving attention into doing something specifically for the other person that you're in a relationship with that automatically feeds the third party which is the relationship itself so let's think of it this way when you feed the baby if you were to be able to directly feed a baby inside of her mother's womb it wouldn't feed the mother but if you feed a mother when she's pregnant with the baby it automatically feeds that baby that's how it works with people and relationships so the most wonderful hack you can use to make a secure relationship a relationship that's nearest is for both people to be feeding energy towards each other in the relationship this means feed them with energy into loving things for them specifically and in a direct way not an indirect way I'm example of an indirect way of showing love to people in relationships can be easily highlighted through a common scenario which happens with men and their families so men may pour all of the focus and energy into their work because in their mind they're thinking okay I'm doing all this in earning all this money and making so much out of my career for my family but is making no impact whatsoever because in order to do that he asked to be gone all the time is not focusing on them when he's around them and so what we actually make more of a maximum impact for love for his family is if he say schedules a day a week where he literally puts the phone down and all of his focus is on his family on on his wife but this is an example of loving someone in an indirect way and we do that kind of thing all the time we must consider that the way we're giving to someone is not the way that they receive we have to strategize ways to do things for the other person organize our lives so that we're giving to our partner and the way that we're giving is something that they value and receive sometimes this changes day today obviously we have to be tuned in enough to know what's going to make the most loving impact and at a given moment for example let's say that I wake up and I have the flu I'm sick on the top of my list I may have going to movie theater listed as a level 10 need for feeling loved in a relationship but obviously if I'm feeling sick and I have the flu and whoever I'm in a relationship comes and says let's go to the movies it actually made me feel less loved because the message that he just gave me is I'm not even tuned into you enough to know how bad you're doing and I am so not tuned in that I can't even understand that right now in this moment what would make a bigger maximum impact in terms of loving you would be sitting on the couch watching the movies you home and bring the soup for more information about developing the capacity to tune people watch my video titled attunement the keys to a good relationship so this is a long winded way of basically saying it is absolutely critical that you get clear in your relationships especially your partnerships about the following what you are doing for yourself what they are doing for themself what you are doing for them what they are doing for you and with both of you are doing for the third party in the scenario which is the relationship I don't want you to make this a tit for tat type of relationship it isn't baton that's not what this is about but a relationship is made good by mutual nourishment you can you will do things throughout the day for yourself most of us live in the state anyways but think about how beautiful this could be if you wake up with the attitude of what can I do for this person that I am in a relationship with today and whatever they wake up with that same attitude what can I do for this person and I'm in a relationship with today you'll basically spend the day feeding each other and so you don't need to panic about giving energy never getting anything back if you're in that type of relationship where you're waking up the attitude of how you can nurse the other person the relationship bowling is your relationship itself secure but you're both being fed obviously some days more of the energy in a relationship more of the focus more the love will be going towards or be dedicated to one person versus the other person in general this will be in nursing relationship from there this is where it can get really fun if your partner is willing to commit to this type of the practices well every time you go to do something you can get clear in the relationship about who you are doing it for so let's say you're on your way to therapy who are we going to therapy for for the third party of the relationship is it for one person for the other person if you're going to a specific restaurant who is that for it could be for both of you we don't know the point is to have a conversation about it and based off of what you find out where one person's mind is about who is 4 versus another person's do we need to make changes do we even want to go at all those are the types of questions that need to start happening as a result of asking yourself where the flow of energy is going when we are both in doing this particular activity either way we can consciously see where our energies flowing so as to treat the most harmonious and mutually nursing relationship people so try this exercise out you guys I can't tell you how many issues in relationships this practice dissipates if we have the bravery to actually admit to what we feel like we're doing for the other person and to have the bravery to witness them telling us whether that's actually accurate or not awesome stuff I swear to god just trade up yourself can have a good week all of the guys //
"2017-08-05 14:47:54"
The #1 Reason You Can't Reach Enlightenment/Awakening For Women and For Men - Teal Swan -
\\hello there the past to waking is not really a path of becoming something more better the path of awakening is more process of uncovering so let's say that you can imagine yourself as a lotus that's closed and inside is your truth your essence the process of awakening in the process of peeling these pedals back so that you can actually see your essence what you actually are no all spiritual teacher does is to point out the things that are blocking you from discovering your true essence so they're the ones who point out what these pedals bitter covering your essence are in giving strategies with how to peel them back but something interesting to notice in the human race there are common themes for the types of barriers that prevent a person from discovering their true self in their shoes essence for example there common themes amongst races religions countries towns families engenders today I am going to expose the top things preventing awakening for women and the top thing that's preventing awakening for men let's start with the women the single biggest preventative for awakening as it applies to women the single biggest barrier for both been calling in light meant is manipulation the manipulation is a form of in authenticity when we as women are in the space of often testy we can be ourselves completely and as such knowing what our souls really are we can directly meet our needs but this process is derailed for women numbers when we are not in the state of authenticity witches student parent our self esteem plummets we cannot be ourselves we cannot meet our needs we can't returnees directly would begin to meet them subconsciously in an indirect ways this is what manipulation is we portray ourselves with false ways who is to be accepted by others and then try to influence others to do what we want them to do so our needs are met for example somebody who needs to be protected may not be able to ask for that directly so indirectly what do they do they create scenarios where they are the victim where they need to be protected in order to get that needs met I'm just going to give it to you straight for thousands of years women have been shamed for even being women led to believe that were evil led to believe that we're basically the roof world sim comes from we've been oppressed we have been dominated and as a result we don't show up as women for thousands of years we have been expected to be the perfect pitch of Rachel's could otherwise were evil in fact this identification that is imposed on us as being such good girls has made it so that we in order to be accepted by society have to dis own all of our natural instincts we have to dishonorably otherwise we're a seductress we have to decide on any of our anger otherwise were a bitch so this disarming disarming disarming disarming happens to a degree where we no longer have access to the truth of ourselves so for example let's say that I go to the Bible belt of the United States those girls are a perfect example of of girls who were indoctrinated so much in this good girl philosophy that if I try to get them in touch with the fact that they feel any rage in them or the fact that Phil carnal sexual instincts they're not going to even be able to hear me they're gonna look I mean like I don't know what you're talking about because literally there that dislike them to fight with the truth of themselves in other words we did some natural instincts disown any emotions are seen as bad this on our power disown any truth about ourselves and make a scene not good by societal standards but this disarming process within women it's become very dangerous because anything buried deep enough will soon become on com for example a woman who is forced to bury her jealousy will not be aware that she is jealous even when she's actively trying to destroy the success of someone she's jealous of by slandering him her by doing this she gets to feel better than the person she is jealous of her need in the scenario which just feel good about herself is now being met in highly subconscious and destructive ways she's manipulating other people to see her is better to get this need met through the slander because you cannot see any of this truth about herself because it would make her see yourself as a bad person she will maintain that she's a good person and that the person who she feels she also was in fact a bad person so I'm just going to give it to you straight this is the only form of empowerment that women have been left with the empowerment it's being able to manipulate men and other women and children and here's where it gets really scary women have gotten so good with their manipulation they fool themselves not only that if we'll ever here's what I mean by that let's say that a woman wants to turn you against someone else they're not going to directly do that they're going to wait until you have a frustration with a person and then they're gonna feed they're going to fuel the going to encourage you towards it what they were just capitalizing on your motion so it's not them it's you you're gonna end up believing that all of those emotions actually our emotions you feel towards the person when they're not what was a tiny fire was just basically filled with gasoline and they're the ones for the gasoline on him you didn't even notice because it was manipulative the slider under the guise of them validating you now I'm gonna do entire episode on this in the future but I'm going to expose sorry fellow women one of the primary ways we subconsciously have manipulated the world in general it is that for thousands of years we've been dominated and oppressed by men tortured by men if you will so how do we exact revenge we have no personal sense of empowerment the only way we can pushes through our children the thing we do control so one of the most common sub conscious manipulation techniques that women have is to castrate our own sons we teach them to be terrified for our masculinity and we're doing it for their good for the good of the relationships in the future really were just raising men who were safe around who have no access to masculinity and so they can never dominate us again another common theme is women will self sacrifice to be seen as a good person and get appreciation from others but they make you believe you're selfish and cruel for making them into your slave the show you one face and show another behind your back the play the victim controlled drama to be seen as good right and gain control on the list goes on and on and on and on and on but this is the same when our attachment to being good is so strong meaning our ego literally can't accept anything outside the box of were awesomely good and righteous we lose the capacity to actually own up to how we really feel what we're really thinking and what we're actually doing this is why it's so incredibly frustrating often to deal with women women because of this pattern have become naturally gas lighting in nature so for example this woman could be obvious that she hates this other person oh my god so obvious that she's just in green is constantly trying to serve them and slips out the men like passive aggressive ways but if you bring that up to her she'll be like had no way to which talking about I love them pitch just never really accept me so even when the words and actions and energy screen the opposite they'll be seeing less that is a gas lending scenario in the problem with that is it makes it impossible to awaken if you can't actually see the reality there's nothing to do anything with if you can't admit to the fact that you hate someone you can't do anything with the hatred that is why it is the single biggest barrier for awakening it's basically living in a walking state of denial now the other problem is because of the skill of manipulation that women have other people around don't often see it so how can the mirrors of the person that they're doing it I can't so the opportunity for awakening is although it the transition out of the state is all about authenticity and meeting one 's needs directly as a result of discovering that authenticity but the specific type of authenticity which is the most critical for the awakening of women in general is the authenticity around things that we've labeled batter on acceptable or not right those are the things we have to start seeing about ourselves seeing the fact who actually have rage seeing the fact that we actually do is that those people would break up seeing that we have the need to be the center of attention seeing that we want someone to take care of us completely those types of not savory things are the things that we have to start own if we want to awaken one she admits the things with in her that are like this she can see what is actually going on an address those things directly she consumes you actually thinking address the thoughts directly which is actually doing and what you can do to change those behaviors directly and even why she's doing those things the next step is to meet her news directly with the information that she now has it hurt disposal this is the step of ultimate personal empowerment when this occurs the manipulation stops the doors open for the true power of divine feminine to flow into her embodiment if you want a plethora of information about the step watch my video titled meet your needs now let's go for the men shall we the single biggest barrier to awaken prevents what we call enlightenment for men is the disconnection a disconnection plays out in men's lives in all kinds of ways this connection is a state of being detached from something men can be detached from their emotions detached from each other detached from their partners detached from their own essence detach from their children from their hearts from their true desires from the impact they have on others and the list goes on and on for thousands of years little boys have been put in traumatic situations now the hallmark of a dramatic situation is this a situation that causes the stress that cannot be resolved no distress by its very nature puts us in touch with our vulnerability but wait society is not okay with vulnerability it says you're weak if you feel that you can't be a man and accept those things and you can't make anything happen if you're admitting to your vulnerability so what do we do as a little boy when we feel all these vulnerable feelings and were feeling pain and yet society says now doesn't exist businesses near your week some acceptable that's there there is no option other than to detach from they detach really emotions first then disconnect from the thoughts that created the emotion and them cope by finding ways to minimize the way that they feel ways to think about the situation things to do that wipe those sensations that her true to themselves away they cope with the cruelty by detaching from their need for others and by normalizing cruelty so as to not feel the pain of others eventually they had to disconnect from their heart to do it was expected from them and this fragmentation it continues and continues and continues as a result men disconnected from the reality of our universe many of you in the spiritual field have heard the same sentiments are really famous it's like a Cherokee proverb or some other native American proverb where a woman's job is to lead a man back to his heart and a man's job is to protect her so she can do that and this is why those types of things exist men's capacity disconnect makes it very hard for them to tap back into universal energy and often it's the women who were leading them there that's why that's the same so how about I show you some ways that men can be disconnected in data daily a man can be in a job for years he hates because he's disconnected from his heart man can cause immense cruelty to know the person never even realize he's doing it because he's disconnected from the experience of others men can feel sad doesn't tell you is fine because he sticks elected from his own emotion man can say things I heard of this perpetually because he's disconnected from their inner world doesn't even know them enough to know what would hurt her men can neglect his wife's emotional needs because it's disconnected from his own and disconnected from her home world entirely perhaps she's just living trophy for him a man can have a one night stand not think about the person I slept with the next day because his disconnected to degree that he can usually masturbate with no emotional connection men can be so focused on projects is doing with this kid that he fails to connect with the kids when he's even doing it and they feel neglected this of the project is more important than them because he's completely disconnected from the children's world feelings and thoughts and desires and needs men can do things a certain way and have no awareness but why is doing it so disconnected from his own childhood men can believe in the truth of do something without questioning it all because he's disconnected from his own inner voice of conscience men to look at the world not recognize himself and other things in the world or his connection to them to the degree that he can declare war that killed millions okay so to harp on the last point men can be so incredibly disconnected from other people from emotional states in general having no concept that he has anything to do with other things in the world but he can declare war and tyranny this includes tyranny over women and this is where the cycle feeds itself this capacity for man to disconnect fuels manipulation in women because it creates and a tear in a state where a person has no personal empowerment and so the only way to meet their needs is manipulative and also when women get into that manipulative state that scares the crap out men quite frankly because energetically we're all tuned in enough to sense when there's a discrepancy where they do they could buy disconnected so the cycle goes and our greatest barriers for awakening fuel each other's greatest barriers per week no way way way wait I know where you think you have me be rate spiritual men must be the exception to this rule of disconnection think again because spirituality can be the very greatest tool for disconnection don't believe me the spiritual teaching pain is an illusion his way to disconnect from the reality of other people's pain the belief of the higher self has no external needs and the identification with that self over all others is the way to disconnect from needs that aren't being met by others in the pain that that causes positive focus can be a way to disconnect from half the reality of life and all of one 's negative emotions open relationships in polyamory can be a way of disconnecting from one 's own fear of abandonment fear attachment this identification can be a way to disconnect with life spiritual medicines can be a way of disconnect with reality in with one 's physical embodiment and the list can go a long time the transition out of the state of disconnection is quite straight forward it is connection learning connection and re connecting is the answer for men on planet earth now what does this mean this means reconnection with his inner truth reconnection with his essence with his emotions with his inner child with a suppressed sub personalities with this true desires feelings and experiences and needs and desires of others to enhance this process I suggest you watch my video titled how to feel and how to connect with someone perhaps the most interesting thing to recognize about both of these barriers to awakening for men and women is that they both have the same route which is powerlessness in other words both are coping mechanisms designed to deal with the sensation of being completely powerless but being aware of these directly as well as the fact that powerlessness effect we're dealing with that is the door to awakening that is the door to further enlightenment for both men and women I'm //
"2017-07-29 13:28:15"
Integrity (What Is Integrity and How To Build Integrity) - Teal Swan -
\\we hear the word integrity flying around social circles but what the hell does that mean the standard definition is to adhere to a moral or ethical standards which creates a soundness of character another definition is a state of being whole and undivided they're really these 2 definitions go hand in hand because you're living in perfect alignment with your own conscience obviously your whole and undivided mmhm I and morality is about principles fundamental truths are propositions that serve as the foundation for a system of beliefs behaviors chain of reasoning morals or principles concerned with the rightness or wrongness goodness or badness of behavior the problem is that this is a serious gray area for example some people strongly believe it's right to punish a criminal who carried out a great enough offense by killing him others believe this is morally wrong some people believe honesty is always right other people believe it's right except for one it will hurt someone this begs the question is right or wrong something is defined by the individual themselves are by society at large to know what is right or wrong you would have to first know who is right about what is right and wrong even though we have some consensus in the world people do not fully agree about what is right and what is wrong and morals keep changing over time conscience is opposed to morals is an inner feeling or voice which is subjectively viewed as acting as a guide to the rightness and wrongness of one 's own behavior this means conscience is subjective too but it is concerned with the self instead of others in other words it's more concerned with what's right or wrong for you specifically verses right or wrong in general there's an intuitive feel the conscience was morality is guided by reason you can think of conscience like a Guiding Light that light is obscured and bent by morals morals are rather like a filter that conscience is fed through to understand more about conscience and morals I suggest you watch a YouTube video titled morality versus conscience so you can understand what a lack of integrity ism to give you some examples some examples of lack of integrity are saying that you're going to do something and not doing that are doing the opposite thing telling a lie when the truth is the complete opposite leading some to believe that they can trust you and then betraying them hiding things about yourself and keeping secrets about yourself so that the aspect of you that other people see is not the real you being 2 faced self sacrificing instead of adhering to your true wants and needs and changing your stories and opinions in order to bend the public opinions set of staying steadfast in them it's not until someone puts pressure on our own authenticity that we decide to cave in and change our stance so others see this is a good person all of these things if you notice has one thing in common it's that it means 2 aspects of you are in opposition you're not a layman you're not missing of homeless one side of you saying this is the truth and the other is telling a lie one side of you saying this is what I really want the other side is bending to public opinion it's that state of division that sets integrity apart it's that state of division that the finds a lack of integrity when we say that we want someone to gain integrity what that really means is that right here in this moment we are judging them that they are not doing what we think is right to do in that moment this gets especially intense if we watch the division happen within somebody so for example if we know that the truth is one thing and yet they do the opposite saying we will look at that person say there's a lack of integrity there there's splits between one aspect of them in the other split between what they know is right and what they're doing for this reason a lack of integrity should really be defined as the quality of not adhering principals communicated by your own conscience not living in the state of wholeness in and of yourself for example if your own conscience communicates to you that honesty is right for you but in that moment you tell a lie you are demonstrating a lack of integrity because right there in that moment there's a split between one aspect of you and your own conscience when 2 parts of your split like that your emotional guidance system will tell you that it split by making you feel that it's almost like going in one direction when your navigation system inside your body saying and a wrong way turn round freaking out there's gonna be tension in your body because you're getting conflicting information we tend to see a lack of integrity when we encounter some kind of crisis or external stress makes sense doesn't it we only see how strong the houses when it weathers out a storm now what do I mean by this as a place to human life it's only when the truth is going to get us in trouble that we tell a lie it isn't until we suffer financially that we steal it isn't until were tortured that we betray someone's trust in order to feel better we in society do anything we can do to get out from underneath the pressure even if that means splitting ourselves this is what people mean when they say it's put somebody in the negative space are in a crisis and then you see their true colors Souness within yourself in between all these different aspects of yourself is not something that anybody can take away from you it's only something that you can give away in fact people can kill you and you can still have an intact therefore the reason the lack of integrity is so damaging to you is a lack of integrity is a form of self betrayal it's a guarantee that what you need the most in a crisis which is to remain strong and tact will not happen but the good news is integrity can be built no matter how degraded your integrity has been in the past and here's some suggestions about how to go about doing step one you've got to spend sometime seriously considering rightness verses wrongness in general as a concept but right now it's verses wrongness in every scenario that you find yourself in but you need to explore it like a philosopher would spend your concepts of all the society has told you about right or wrong and really look deeply can you prove that something you think is wrong might be right can you prove the something you think might be right might be wrong don't act until you are sure that your subjective concept of what's right or wrong is as objective as possible to help you with this it's good sometimes to involve other people's opinions especially if their opinions contradict your own however your only reason to do this is to gain more awareness so you can gain even more clarity about your own idea about what right versus wrong for you in this scenario actually is there is a reason that ethics is an entire branch of philosophy it's because it's much more complicated than meets the eye step 2 put effort into integration we need to stop seeing ourselves and our personality as one thing because a person is actually a collection of different personalities this is what we mean when we say that someone has many sites but this is true for every adult I've ever shaken hands with if they've gotten aspect of them that plays sports an axis certainly when they play sports and another aspect of them that acts completely different when for Homer on their children that's a split within the personality in other words being split into different parts is actually collective human condition we fragment ourselves in order to cope with the external world we preserve ourselves by compromising ourselves until the day that being compromise becomes a detriment to our well being we have one side of us that wants to keep the peace in another side that wants to win no matter the cost we often fall into a lack of integrity when 2 aspects of us are more do not agree we need to become aware of these different parts of Los instead of siding with one of them or another one of them in the US legally disregarding the needs of the other self when they become aware of each of their needs in each of their desires and with our awareness which is removed from any of these identifications we need to assist piece parts of Los to come to an agreement where both of their needs are met in other words our prerogative with these parts of ourselves needs to be you know 3 for full your promises and keep your words this is one of the very easiest ways to recognize lack of integrity and to correct a lack of integrity if you notice that you're saying something and doing something else it's obvious that's a lack of integrity and the split within yourself so if you make a promise keeper and live according to your work for before you make a commitment you need to stop and really ask yourself can I 100 percent fill this commitment if not you are setting yourself up to look like you have no integrity whatsoever but to do this you have to be willing to upset people so those of you who hate conflict hate to break it to you you're at risk for a lack of integrity because in a space of integrity where you say one thing and do that thing you have to be able to follow through on your word don't make a promise or make a commitment unless you can keep it 5 pay attention for that feeling of internal discord 11 aspect of you disagrees with another aspect of you or 11 aspect of you a split offer a different direction than another aspect of the this feeling of discord will tell you when you're out of line with your own conscience this means you could very well be in the act of doing or saying something that not all of you agrees with that feeling is telling you way way way way pay attention this is not quite right this is a golden opportunity to build integrity instead of press on with your current course of action step 6 get completely honest and authentic with yourself and then communicate that authenticity to other people now for those of us are not living in a state of authenticity because it's too scary to be honest with ourselves about ourselves or with other people about ourselves we slip into denial denial the complete enemy of integrity the inner truth is something that you're denying because you're afraid to admit to it or you're ashamed of it but don't worry it will come out anyway and passive aggressive ways that will cause people to say you have no integrity it's even better for you to know your authenticity and even if it upsets people expressive directly rather than to obviously look like a wolf in sheep's clothing step 7 don't act impulsively when we are in a heightened state of reactivity and were about to reaction impulsive way what does happen is that one of the parts of has hijacked our entire identity and is that part of us that is taking action regardless of the impact on any other part of us so when people get into this high instead of reactivity say fine then just go screw yourself we're gonna break up then what happens another pardon those where we way way way way so we just unilaterally made a decision one aspect of us did to the detriment of other aspects of this were split this is a lack of integrity as well we all tend to have a specific way that we act in threatening situations but we can use this to our advantage because it's that way that we act and threatening situations that usually exposes our particular breed of lack of integrity perhaps you believe honesty is right but when you're threatened you lie perhaps you believe taking responsibility is right that when you're threatened you justify yourself and play the victim making a people the bad guy for prison happened you need to find the line between all aspects of yourself and have all of them agree upon what is right before taking action 8 when you feel like you have acted out of alignment with your own conscience you need to admit it to yourself and then if you feel called to admit it to other people especially the people who were hurt as a result of that alignment within you just remember I'm true apology should never come with the justification about one didn't 9 work on becoming comfortable with the sensation of fear integrity it requires bravery I don't know how many of you watch the movie Braveheart but in the end you know he's getting drawn and quartered he still keeps his integrity and doesn't give and that's why he gets killed but all of us watch that and everybody loves that character why because he dies with his integrity intact now what is this movie telling us even the title of movie that integrity takes if credible bravery no bravery is not about lacking fear in fact bravery can't exist unless there is fear if doing something with the fear you feel in other words it's about being willing to be afraid in act in accordance with your own personal estimation of what is right and the way acting in accordance with your own bravery is difficult but I can promise you it is not more difficult than living your life without integrity have a good week I'm so //
"2017-07-22 13:56:55"
Amplifying Positivity with The Completion Process (How to Manifest More Positivity) - Teal Swan -
\\as most of you know I've created a process that's called the completion process I've written a book detailing how to use this process in your daily life and itself this book is called the completion process if you haven't done so already I highly suggest that you learn this process so you can apply it to your daily life it's designed specifically to heal the aspects of your past that are causing pain in your current life it's something that I didn't put in that book and something that I haven't taught people yet the fact that you can use this process to amplify positive memories as well and loss amplify the positive effect they have on your current life to the process of this way we use positive motion sensitive negative ones when we feel positive motion no matter how small it may be we followed these steps step one we close our eyes and we sink deep into the feeling flavor of that emotional sensation within our bodies we're not trying to change it or not trying to do anything with that we're trying to observe and be completely present with it step 2 we give this a motionless and also the sensation that's positive the message that we are completely here within that it's a valid for being there that we want to hear what it has to say 3 we use the sensation of the feeling flavor like a rope connecting as to the origin of causation of that very feeling we asked the question when was the first time I felt this exact same feeling instead of mentally chasing the answer we letter being offered up to us like a bubble floating up from the depths of the ocean in whatever form it comes if slash when a memory surfaces we completely observe the memory as if we were in first person perspective completely re experiencing that positive emotional state and the positive experience in this step we're not trying to do anything to change it or not altering anything which is reliving that positive memory step 5 when we feel as if we have fully experienced that emotion and fully re experience that positive memory we amplified by asking what could make this be even better so let's say that you have an emotion of joy what could make this joy the most joyous joy or what could make this excitement the most ecstatic type of excitement how could I alters this memory to make it even better we then imagine taking that action so whatever message we received how we could change the memory so it felt even better we do that for example let's say that you had an exciting experience where you won a trophy but maybe only one of your parents was there maybe would make it even better is if every person you cared about was there to see you get that trophy you mentally imagine the memory but in the visualization sounds as if that improvement was what actually occurred step 6 after fully re experiencing this improved version of the positive memory you imagine splitting off so that you are the adult self and your child sulfur earlier self is there you then imagine your child self for the earlier version if you taking that sensation in that experience and giving it to you in some way maybe putting it into your body handing it to you as a gift or else merging with you so that its experience is your experience step 7 we take time to consciously own that new enhanced positive experience and feeling as our own we take it in every cell of our body and into our mind we spend as much time as we want soaking up this new vibrational state step 8 we take a few deep breaths taking our time to return to the room that we're sitting in into the here and now for a great many of us positive emotions are not actually safe there is a consequence that came with them for example let's say that we had apparently couldn't tolerate our enthusiasm or excitement or joy maybe that was a threat to them in some way oftentimes we were punished in some way or pushed away when we saw those positive emotions that's an example of a consequence and so for us it's not safe to feel those emotions or another possibility is we experience chronic disappointment after we get our hopes up for after we feel positive motion so if the pain of that loss of the positive feeling is so intense we never want to get back into that state the point is for some of us it's dangerous to feel positive emotion when this is the case there's another variation of this process that we can use if we've experienced this kind of trauma involving positive emotions positive emotions will come up with fear or some other negative emotion it will be a mixed feeling we drop our consciousness down to that mixed feeling we ask ourselves relative to the specific emotion we're having what is keeping me from the highest excitement ever or what is keeping me from the most joyous joy you wanna pick whatever feeling comes up when we ask that question the response will usually come in the form of another feeling so if you ask yourself the feeling what is keeping me from being able to feel excitement or being able to feel the most joyous joy that feeling that comes up as an answer to that question that contains that original painful memory that caused us to distrust possible motion first place so what you do is you sink down and combat feeling flavor the one that came up in answer to the question you let that take over your entire body not trying to change and observing it and when we feel like we're allowing and we ask ourselves when was the first time I learned it wasn't okay or one is the first time I learned was located feel the highest joy or the highest excitement we then approach this memory in the same way we normally would use in the completion process the standard way but we make sure that when we're in the resolution phase we take a nuff time to really anchor into our bodies that new feeling sensation of the improvement or the resolution that we created in the universe the functions as a mere hologram when you focus on the feeling states that feel the closest to what you want to experience your match to them being mirrored in your reality in other words the more intensely I imagine the joy of a success the more experiences that mirror in reflecting match the vibration of that amplified success come to me and thus the better I feel the better I feel the more experiences that Felix success happened to me this is a university is based on the concept of expansion that means that anything that is great can be even greater and that means the better it gets the better it gets I'm good with I'm //
"2017-07-15 18:44:14"
Belonging and How to Belong - Teal Swan
\\some of us are lucky were born into families into societies where we feel like we belong others of us because our self concept is so low because of shame we feel like the only places we belong in the places we don't really want to belong and for others of us we don't feel like we belong anywhere or with anyone a lock of belonging is what plagues our life mmhm along one of the they bring in this you if we considered love belonging and oneness to be one color all they would be is different shades of that same color it is also a basic human need not in the spiritual field we believe that we should it's not only possible but we should transcend human needs we have confused the concept of needs with the concept of attachment so we think it's possible to not need something that you need but it's not belonging is a basic human need all beings in this universe needed in the same way that all beings in this universe need love as they are love we use our spiritual practice to go against our own biology instead of with it we need to feel as if we belong in order to feel ourselves to be connected with or one with anything our alliance and sort of completely alone we are social creatures if we do not have social interaction we die in the same way that a plant dies if it doesn't get any water so we have to start understanding that our social needs are actually more important to social species than physical needs so literally that's why isolation torture works kills people because we need contact we need belonging to belong to something is to be part of something but true belongings could be so much a part of something that you can't not be a part of it so here's what I mean by that let's say that you are a member of some kind of a social club that's not true belonging because the day that you stop paying your membership fees are decide you don't want to be a member you don't belong in that club anymore that can't be true belonging in true belonging it does not matter whether you don't want to be part of it you're still part of it it's almost like you're either part of it in your debt so for example your human right now look down and lick your body can you be on human right now no it doesn't matter how far you run away from human race you can't erase the human this from you that's what true belongings so I'm gonna demonstrate the true power of belonging to right now or it so here we have paper let's say the part of this paper says I don't want to belong to you anymore I don't wanna assume it's not my thing I'm going away breaks he would say the paper goes I'm going over here I don't belong anymore still paper you can't make this turn to something like a pencil or a cell phone paper you can't take the paper out of paper so regardless of where these are in terms of vicinity still paper that is true belonging now think about the security in that some people like Homer gosh I'm feeling trapped that's an indication of the type of belong that you experience was not true belongings falls belonging I'll get to that in a minute but think of the security of connectedness if no matter what you do can't not belong in true belonging you are held and contained by something it is the most positive expression of ownership in existence in this kind of ownership all parts are indivisible from the holes you cannot do harm to a part without harming the whole for example if someone belongs to you and with you you take them as part of yourself and so you cannot hurt them without hurting yourself this is the complete opposite of the form of ownership or something doesn't belong to you it's simply a possession that you have a thing so you can't hurt it without receiving any harm to yourself because you don't actually see is part of yourself it is this type of belonging that was intended for the contract of marriage spiritually speaking to love something is to take something as a part of yourself by that definition it is obvious that love and belonging go hand in hand but obviously if something is a part of you it belongs to you you own it in that way in the same way that it owns you one of the problems on this planet as we get into relationships that are absent of belonging our relationships are entirely conditional we don't ever take the other person in as part of our souls and so we cannot consider their best interests a part of our own best interests the opposite of belongings exclusion isolation and ostracize Asian well the reason that some people have a strong aversion to the concept of belonging or positive ownership in any way is because they have experienced the exact opposite of belonging under the disguise of belonging now the Christian religions have the same which I actually think is freaking brilliant is that the devil's greatest disguise Jesus Christ self meaning that if the devil comes down to the planet earth and wants to completely destroy people only has to do is to pretend be the Jesus the singular Jesus I am Jesus follow me so in the same way so many harmful things but are there that affect the exact opposite of the purity of the thing we're looking for disguise themselves as the pure essence it's the ultimate Wolfson sheep's clothing type of tech here's how to place the belonging the best example of this shadow side of belonging which isn't true belonging colts in these groups to belong is to no longer be free but to be owned like an object in these groups the well being of the individual members or lack thereof does not impact the overall group in fact often the detriment of the individuals what most benefits the people were the higher up in the groups in these groups belonging is determined by exclusion they are defined by who doesn't belong versus who does belong they're exploitative as well and first and foremost punishments including ostracize ation is a consequence of not conforming to the group looking at the shadow belong in which isn't actually true belonging you concede that many religions social groups and even families fit into this category a common form of non belonging disguised as belonging that happens in families that are dysfunctional is followed let's say you have a parent who is innately self centered they can't actually take anything in this part of themselves because they don't recognize than anything other than just them exists everything's kind of an extension of them but in a negative way what'll happen in these families is that the child that does not please them will be ostracized from the family an exiled and pushed away that's the consequence for not behaving like they want them to behave that child becomes what we call the family scapegoat to the flip side and these are the people by the way who do who don't like belonging is a child who's called the golden child though the favored child they learn the adaptive strategy of a conforming to the expectations of the parent by completely getting rid of their own identity they erased who they are for the sake of the parent and that's how they stay safe within the family group now that her says you belong with me but inside the child knows charges belongs here because I'm completely doing anything you ask of me a racing any impulses and desires and he wants to fit in with what you want to keep myself safe and so there is no kind of loving feeling within that belonging because a consequence waits on the other side now for these types of people belonging will feel like and measurement it feels like their identities getting engulfed and they will be obsessed with freedom well I need more than anything is to not belong but this because they haven't actually fill true belonging now this is where I'm gonna basically tell you an awesome trees if it is possible 4 ostracize ation this inclusion or non belonging to be a consequence of any type of behavior there was no belonging to begin with going off this last example of a child who learns that their way of coping with this world and being a part of it to create a split within themselves between who they really are in the person who they present with the world in order to fit in this foot causes all kinds of issues most especially a push and pull in relationships because they can't really be authentically who they are and belong they're going back and forth between wanting who they really are and presenting whatever personality traits or idea or anything that will get them fit in because they just like every other person no that safety and so much of their well being is dependent upon connection so it's kind of a push and pull between wanting connection who definitely not wanting the truth is if we present anything to the world that is less than authentic we don't actually fit him a complete routes we don't fit in anymore than a wolf fits in if it's dressed as a sheep in a sheep herd and they will always be a part of you that's like he did it's me same working for me maybe working for you some working for me as a pretend name the only hope you have for finding true belonging is to let your real self be known to yourself and then let it be known to the world to find troubling you have to give up on trying to fit in when we do this we start trying to belong with the people who really won't ever let us belong with them and instead we find the people who we do belong with these the people who will take us as themselves this means if you start doing this plainly you can find them and they can find you but if you're constantly in the skies are they ever going to see you no because this concept is so incredibly important for you to understand I'm gonna go back to it when I said that if it is possible for non belonging or ostracize Asian or exclusion to be a consequence in any way there was no belong to begin with I'm gonna give you some examples of what I mean if it is possible for us association to be a consequence of separating from your religion there was no belonging inherent in that religion in the first place if it is possible to not belong to be dis included for your family if there's a conflict or non conformity there was no belonging inherent in that film to begin with with true belonging you don't have to do anything in order belong or keep your current belonging no we could say that you truly belong to source to a people call god because why you're indivisible from it you are a part of it there's an innate belonging there because it can't cut you off from itself you are it and it is you but we have to experience belonging in are embodied singular forms if we're going to find any kind of well being no sometimes of our self concept is bad enough we feel like we can't belong anywhere except for in places we don't actually want to belong to here's a good example of this if I believe I'm better darker evil and they want to belong to a family that is loving and wealthy and cooks together that I see is virtuous but because of my self concept I can't feel like I belong there I can only feel like I belong in a tattoo parlor workers people alone and dark and brutal and in pain who struggle to make ends meet for example because a sense of belonging is such a strong need is the only way we can fill surely accepted we will in fact gravitate towards the group we don't actually want to belong to rather than the one we want to belong to but can't now this next thing that I'm about to say is going to change a lot of your life if you're struggling with belonging if you're struggling with belonging it means you are operating in the world from the concept of shame you're looking at yourself a deep fundamental level like there's something wrong about about you now as a result you can't actually recognize people's attachment to you to recognize the people were attached to you you have to see yourself as valuable wouldn't you and you don't obviously if other people aren't attached to you if it's just you constantly trying to get them to be okay a with you being attached to them there isn't much room there for you to feel connected in the world to belong is there but I have the antidote for you the antidote is to realize that it literally does not matter whether you perceive yourself to be worthy of connection an attachment or not people are attached to no one we don't recognize that other people are attached to us we just recognize how we are to 2 other people we can't actually take care of that connection Canley if we don't even see it so as a result we push people away we take them for granted we do all kinds of things that don't nurture that connection and the message the people get from losses we don't matter to them and so they either turn against us or leave us completely because they feel undervalued by us and it just reinforces the cycle of see I'm not worthy enough to belong somewhere when in reality we are doing it because we can't recognize the people are actually attached to us the question in all of our relationships should be how can I provide a sense of belonging to this person what would I say or do differently if I consider them to be a permanent part of me taking this one step further we are not just providing this shadow form of belonging or should I say non belong disguised as belonging to other people we are providing that to ourselves any time you look at an aspect of yourself with an attitude of Kate that needs to change or vanish or whatever it doesn't belong with me you're doing this to you now that part is within you so when you do that yourself you are registering non belonging within yourself in other words because you're trying to exclude this part of you from you you're telling the party doesn't belong with you but because it's part of you you feel that feeling of inner isolation exclusion and rejection for example if part of me is deeply in pain or angry and I have the attitude that I want that part of me to be gone I'm creating an atmosphere of non belonging inside myself and the result is this part of me cannot be dis included from you because this means all that will happen is I will feel more pain and more anger therefore relative to our souls we need to ask how can I provide a sense of belonging to this part of me what would I say or do differently if I considered to be a permanent part of me one good way to culture a sense of belonging within ourselves is to look deliberately for similarities now if we suffer from non belonging work constantly scanning the world for differences why because differences are a threat differences of what gets us abandoned differences is what makes us alone so you clearly are life is just scanning the environment every person for the differences between us and when we recognize those differences we feel pushed away from them we feel isolated we feel like we don't belong so do the opposite in every person that you meet in every circumstance even physical things hello my the same as this thing you'll notice that in the beginning of our relationships with girls chemicals going towards attraction only notices how were the same you know you get nexus somebody at the bar and they're like oh yeah that's really interesting I like softball you go oh my gosh I like it too this is why we feel such a natural sense of belonging with someone it's where minds go my gosh maybe have met the one who I belong with it's because we're noticing similarities now as we meet come together because of that sense of similarity in belonging there's a phase in our relationships it's called the individuation phase now this is where we start to differentiate ourselves from each other within the context of the relationship what makes us different not a lot of relationships don't survive past the space because we felt like we had such blowing up suddenly research recognize how we're different how have different needs our procedure either way and it's at this phase that we start feeling we're loosing that belong it's at this point that we have to consciously work at love and it's at this point I wish to consciously start looking foreign culture in the similarities just like we did in the beginning of our relationship so we can consider ourselves connected and we can consider that we belong together still another thing is pain is inherently isolating I've not met people that don't belong that are in a great deal of pain and the pain itself says you're the only one going through this in fact look at all these people who are feeling good and you're not see how you don't belong in that circumstance so one other way to culture belonging is to in fact see how other people feel the same pain that you feel experience the same painful things that you experience and just by virtue of doing that you will recognize your connection with humanity as opposed to how you've been singled out or don't belong this is the main reason why Alcoholics Anonymous even works in the first place the root of every single addiction is isolation so what happens when you get a group of people who were isolated in their addictions into a room together they look around and go on my gosh I'm not the only one in fact now I have a sense of belonging within Alcoholics Anonymous itself and because of that sense of connection obviously we've been dealing with the root of that addiction which is isolation that is the main reason why it succeeds another way to culture belonging is to accept people but acceptance is much different than we think it is acceptance is not condoning something saying we agree with something it's literally to take something in as valid 2 accepted as real acceptance is the opposite of denial and avoidance during this makes your being consent to receiving and adjusting this Christmas in a fighting to not acknowledge it or not taken no acceptance also has nothing to do with whether you wanna change something or not it simply by being able to acknowledge something is valid enough to look that acknowledgment incentive fight to keep it out to accept someone is to recognize any part of them is valid regardless of whether or not you have the same opinion feeling a prospective for example we may have a child who believes that they do not belong with us why because they're gay and we don't accept that they're gay because we're saying no no I'm not going to take the part of you in were ostracizing to accept is to say okay you know what the reality is they're gay it is also to see how from their life experience and feelings in perspective it is valid that they identify as gay validating others builds a sense of belonging in fact one could say the validation invalidating others is how they know we accept them by validating them accepting them we're saying to that internal experience you are understandable and your understandable to me in this position there's no opposition it is possible to belong and to be different from one another for this reason in order to learn how to validate I encourage you to watch my video titled the emotional wakeup call all of us on the planet starting with you have to wake up to the ways that we're pushing people away from us instead of bringing them closer to us that means we have to look at the thoughts were thinking the words were saying the actions we're taking help what's interesting is every thought you think is one of the other either it pushes away or bring something closer every word either pushes something away or bring something closer every action either purchase somebody away or brings them closer and if you're telling the story I want belonging or I want a good relationship it is in paratis that you start to recognize the ways you are thinking saying and acting Federer push away to other people because that is what is perpetuating the cycle it's also imperative that we start to notice underneath all of the words and actions and whatever the subtle energies of either pushing away or pulling something close so that when someone's doing that we can say to them I feel like you are pushing me away right now with that word you're saying or that thing you're doing so that we can wake each other up to the fact that even though we want loving belonging so much of what we say and do and think pushes people away the truth is that a human being cannot exist as an island we cannot thrive alone we need other people and the truth of this universe's beyond meeting belonging we do belong it's an absolute of our existence why because you were indivisible from this universe you live in you are a part of it whether you want to admit it or not whether you recognize it or not there is nothing in this universe that does not belong to you and there is nothing in this universe that you don't belong to I'm //
"2017-07-08 13:02:35"
Competition (Is it Good or Is it Bad?) - Teal Swan
\\for many people especially those of us who identify ourselves as spiritually minded competition is a taboo concept we seek to replicated from are being we're convinced that in order to restore harmony and peace in the world and in order to reach enlightenment we have to get rid of competition from our embodiment however I'm here to tell you today that we need to take competition out of the trash can and realize that competition is not black or white it's black and white you I don't know if you've noticed looking around the natural world but this natural world that we live in is based on the concept competition every life form on earth has evolved to be the best at achieving its prerogative in fact survival of the fittest guarantees that if you do not involve up to speed with other species you will be eliminated for example the only dear whose offspring will live are the ones who are the fastest and therefore in order for the lions offspring to evolve they need to evolve to be even faster smarter than that there's competition everywhere in the natural world like it or not we are not exempt from the natural world we are hard wired to compete as well in fact the ego which is a sense of self can only exist in comparison to something else something other for example the color green can only exist if there is something that is not the color green to compare it to to compete is to strive to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over another who was trying to do the same by its very nature you can see the competitions rivalry you cannot compete without comparing yourself to something else the question is can comparison rivalry be beneficial expansion in this universe is the process by which source comes to know itself new fought is in fact what is creating expansion but new thought is inspired by previous thought for example every thought that has ever been fought is serving as the platform for the new thoughts that are in creation and those new thoughts will soon become manifestations that you see in your physical reality for example 200 years ago the concept of the internet was inconceivable people could not even think the thought yet it wasn't until the telephone was invented the people started to have access to the idea of what is information but somehow travel back and forth as if invisibly in other words they can only think thought of internet because they have something to compare it to now here's a little bit of problem doesn't matter whether it was wanted or unwanted the minute that the internet was invented it was now in competition with libraries no one has to leave the house to check out a book to access information anymore obviously in the process of competition like this some beings experience pain it isn't fun to lose your business because something replaces header makes it obsolete but looking at the previous example most of us would agree that having information at the touch of our fingers is worth the pain of losing our old process of learning no matter how feel good libraries are and believe me this is coming from a person can't stand reading things in digital format there's something about the magic of holding a book in your hands in the smell of the pages that just can't be replaced for me the bottom line is for new thought to be created first to go beyond what has been done before we have to stretch the envelope beyond how it has been stretched currently when we do this we are quite often competition with what has come before and in competition with people who are trying to stretch the envelope in the same direction that we're currently trying structure but if we did not have this drive within us would we be where we are today in the sports world there is a common understanding it's that you would not be where you are today in your current level of competition if all you played against were players who were easily defeated it's a common understanding that the players to bring out the very best performance and you are the ones who can actually compete up to standard with your own limits so it's also understood that when you win your arrival in the sport the person responsible for that win they force you to raise your own expectation of yourself they force you to have to get more and more creative part of why they're so good at fueling our expansion is because they force you to face integrate all of your insecurities which are actually the thing keeping you from your success in this respect rivalry and competition can be the very best thing for your own personal expansion even healing process it is your rivals that will teach you the most in this life now this is really funny because people assume that there's no competition in the spiritual field hell no there's tons of competition even for being a spiritual teacher in the position like I'm in today now we've all heard those statements they're designed to decrease the competition between spiritual teachers things like different strokes for different folks Sir ever influence the teacher that resonates with them but if we're totally honest the goal of almost every spiritual teacher is find the best answer for how to resolve suffering within all people now let me tell you something when somebody comes up with the best way to resolve suffering for all people many other teachers and teachings will be obsolete because what we offer is ideas like it or not we're in competition for people's attention and agreement just like politicians are in politics if one of my teachings directly opposes the teaching of another teacher teaching her now in opposition we could call this a rivalry it doesn't matter whether they are I want conflict or not it is there it puts students in the position of having to choose which philosophy to align with and this rivalry should stay why should stay because it evokes the best of us when you see this kind of conflict of opinions it evokes the very best concept the best ideas truth has to be refined illusion has to be purified this means you should be rooting for your competition to be good not so that they can be you but so that you can be equally good or even better in other words even though competition does not exist beyond the ego in the realm of the ego does exist in it like the ego can assist universal expansion and even the progression towards awareness as much as many of us don't want this to be the reality as long as the ego still exist which it does here and the ego is not wrong or bad it's actually what's facilitating your own expansion and awareness there will be competition but here's the thing when the eagle becomes a healthy ego the expression the competition takes with in that person's embodiment is healthy competition as opposed to unhealthy because petition the measurement becomes about yourself relative to your own desires that are inspired by other people