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"2016-03-10 21:39:29"
Elena Brower: The Ritual of Recovery
\\a we are made of atoms scintillating so what we try to stop them change the it hurt them and rearrange them we forget but deeper than any perceived failure is this radiance so please follow me to this moment and we can play with this together thank you for listening it helps me remember that beneath all of this is something I learned about trusts the odds of learned about evolution sometimes it can so much I speak these words so I can feel my own constitution unobstructed and walk through this world on interrupted by substance my habit unimpeded by anything other than bold love and I own this so I can go to sleep and wake up to the good that is alive in me so I can feel the frequency of my telepathy and my healing in my carry and feel my real feelings and not be afraid to share them with you may anyone who's struggling take my hand now and walk through this may we taste and hold sweetness of setting ourselves free so I got curious and I asked what is this fiction this friction that keeps us locked up in the in the destruction of a day this perception that were not enough we can't sit with ourselves we can't find the right love without drugs what is this pain blame this on deliverable shame and how is it that every day I thought I needed to find some redeeming intelligence in my mind and I'd go to the sun up on my roof and I would smoke my very favorite connections to the truth of who I am and every time I would Tinker with the moment and I would tell myself I was ... this for doing so much good in the world and all the while I knew I was killing the beautiful beautiful girls and all the while I knew I would have to sit here on this day and tell you about all the ludicrous wise and ways I just hated being alone with myself but now I get to proud to share with us I'm screen almost 9 months now I am learning what the highest highest novice with my James sin my folks myself my kid my sister so much energy I was using to doubt and assist her and I'm learning with my axis in their fine fine women and I'm learning from my best friends who always know exactly what to say and exactly he's I had to stop squeezing myself into these painful places star chairing with you all the real and rifle traces my place in this big story so I forgive myself now I started to these wars my organs I'm ready to sing all my songs and laid down my weapons read and cook and enjoy my simplicity in be with my child and know that I'm listening to him tell me about his day in his creations and whatever has meaning I'm grateful just to lie down with him listen to him breathing state of longing for it numbness did feel my goodness did did we all know it does but then it always ends with that impossibly loud done if ignorance the voice of another choice I now see that I was addicted to ignoring what I knew and that's that will happen I'm freaking no more walking through this big tour shaking in making trouble for this body I am now hooked officially on humility I'm hooked on kindness looked on tranquility I'm hooked on my highest identity and I'm hooked on the unknown that is known in the now note of thankfulness thank you worthlessness for being a most formidable catalysts and thank you for giving me all that I could ever possibly get of you you thank you James Tommy Gabby alley China and all the rest to never once asked me to be anything more or less how and my absolute in perfect best now I get to dream and receive lay massaged Indonesia those big ideas that finally the things I'm truly privileged to care about I get to give my time and my resources and money sensitivity to make things secret instead of shredding up my integrity every single day and they get to settle into this vibrant fastness that's calling from within all of us if I had to sum it up what I've come to learn and earn is that I'm not struggling against any addiction actually I'm struggling for my evolution for this glorious revolution of my body and my mind in this magical chance to finally find right open eyes in a wire to soften the soul that I am so ready I'm ready to groan and I'm ready to become more wise and more study and work graceful and more lovely and sit at the feet of all you above me and listen and be simple and seeing an online with all this tender and gentle kind to the recipe the greetings how the way that I've come from then until now this the rewards flip the script turn the ship and when it seems right or justified to have that drink grew that puff because good lord I deserve this tone I where this world is not enough like this I see challenge that thought and things precisely the opposite just for practice for example why on earth on this day would I hide or run when I know in my fragile beauty that I am the only one who can evolve this choice I am about to make and be the change and shift my state and turn these generations of escape artists and the people who really care about ourselves you I I see tell your heart to invade your mind do it now let it fly mmhm and then turn your brain away from your habit and seek out only the friends to help you locate your magic and then you get to be a light worker right here on this so someone else the beauty of their own worth and just in case you get stuck in you might if you're real this put your attention on what you feel be a witness and ask new tiniest voice why is the sensation prior to the thought that I need this time when you ask him you seal slowly dissolve any perceived needs and you'll emerge from that moment coherent and sound in your land head on the pillow perfectly surrounded by the music of your quiet mind becoming silently grounded and your healing heart and if all that fails and you have to restart again please know that this is never the end of your possibility tomorrow will arrive sourced and weeding for your faith and your trust a new skill in your space I swear this will be one of the shortest pathways to revealing your true face it's about the feminine ladies and gentleman let all this going trust your intuition it's been telling you all along you are the teacher you are the wisdom you are the strong in your adventure matters to us all okay quiet I get ready to feel called to make a difference it's time to feel like you're truly contributing in participating in this mark Wallace no more films doubt no more waiting this is what we're all into speeding for you so please your hand on your heart close your eyes for just a moment here's our temple right and here's our church no longer to single one of us need a single substance in this magnificent search for love it's all here so here's to this fine day dreamers lovers studies mothers may these words raise us all up MTBE our way into a more complete love may we remember to keep things secret and trust that we can make this holiness happening get free together may we remember our selves everywhere forever may we dream the biggest dreams and fully live our way through all of this how may we keep the closest friends who couldn't be there truly and only for us me we drink potent elixir deep listening in real forgiveness they're like love life spiritually fly past and basically what I'm gonna offer you today is just my own personal story //
"2013-12-09 15:37:49"
"Spiritual Partnership" Elena Brower at Wanderlust's Speakeasy
\\the I the who it won't closer if anyone standing in the back would like to come up and sit on the stage where the Markham a woman's lowest calling is to seduce and separate man from his soul and leave him aimlessly wandering a woman's highest calling is to lead man to his soul unite him with source a man's Lois calling is to ambush and force way into life of woman man's highest calling is to protect women so she is free to walk the earth unharmed what we learned today is that love is not really a feeling and emotions are not really reality and that never is this is important to remember is in the domain of relationship we are going to learn that we have to build build love brick by brick like a building through practice and that there are no shortcuts keep your eyes closed as for the next couple of moments think about your current attitude toward love and toward the possibility that love holds in your life this field the fullness of that they can be you know something very negative just feel it accepted know that it is what you've collected it's not necessarily you and we're here to question it we build something else so with gratitude go and open your eyes so what I'd like to do today is make sure that each of us has a very reference attitude toward the possibilities that love holds a reverence attitude does have one node reverent means spiteful in the deepest levels okay what a lot of us don't realize is that we've got we're going into love relationships without respect we're expecting to disrespect in fact our partners were expecting them to disappoint us the way that we've seen people be disappointed in our lives I had the good fortune of being introduced my current partner who will is my life partner not my husband officially but in every sense of the word his my my husband than anyone ever Wes ... he was introduced to me by a woman called Lawrence Sanders is the co founder of a company called the handle group he'd been working with blind for probably 6 years prior to meeting me and when she introduced us she basically turned my whole life around and if you go back a couple of years to the speakeasy that I did right after meeting her it was no small thing I had to go admit to several cheating incidents over the course of my short life ... I had to apologize for many many indiscretions that I had done and if you are anything like me humans to publish a really good apologies that you can level at some point pretty soon but that's for later Lorne introduced us and after apologizing and cleaning up some of the messes that I had made over the course the previous 20 years of my life ... she's been the person who on the inside is standing for my relationship with Bentley and the way that we need in a way that most of us the if you're in a relationship right now raise your hand it's most of us probably 85 percent ... she put us into a crucible knowing that we are exactly the mirrors for each other and she stands for this relationship in a way that ... has save the relationship on probably 5 occasions over 3 years and now he was meant to actually be sitting here with me but he is home with his son who's leaving for a month and even in the suppose to be here suppose to be here suppose severe sorry I can't make it in Meade there is such a different sponsored now because of Lawrence work on us that would have been a big effing Nnamdi you know but what she taught me is the privilege of getting through breakdowns ... consciously and that I think is the key to today's talk I think what I'd like to start with is the fact that she has ... cheese taught us that what counts on our death bed is how much we've loved but when you really think about it that's the last moment what really does not and so to that end she has created Lauren up a space for us to learn how to communicate and I want to share with you today what that is it's called getting resolved I didn't and I wanna give us playing time for questions at the end and it what it does is create a profound and staining acceptance of each other so that no matter what happens I'm interested even if I forget for moments at a time I'm interested in Bentleys happiness more than what he can do for me and she's my and so if you are taking notes this is a good time to start relationships are really where we get to grow up and we get to learn how not to be a child anymore and we get to learn that we can put our attention on our partners we put our attention on our business were our yoga it's how awesome we we go to yoga practice me later Matt out on everything else I'm get and then we get home what happens yeah I yeah and so to avoid the the lowest state that polarization and separation that I spoke about it though in the very first quote that was a Cherokee proverb by the way thank you al Bogard that it didn't get to cultivate respect we get the right dreams together we get to align our our hearts together in very specific and sometimes written way is I'll go over that in just a moment it didn't ... we'll start like this the key to genuine intimacy while sex is of the utmost importance really is the the ability to cop to what you've done wrong is key to intimacy number one long because a cop to witness your cop tuition has a cop tuition today it didn't how willing are you to except what somebody else tells you as something that you may have actually inflicted upon them and to save your sorry whether it's true or not here's here's where it gets good most of what you guys are communicating in your relationships most of what I say and also a Bentley says cannot even really true they're just feelings that are passing by like a cloud like a car his feelings for passing through and so once we create this little vessel for communication which only out just a moment suddenly we start to see that what I'm saying as this is my side count curse too much and most of what he's saying his stick in the ground beat in the ground shoes under the ground stuck there it's not even really true so what we do in getting resolved is we create a container for peace the first person I goes is the person who has more to say the person who is the most Matt a person who is the most kind of conflicted in the moment you go first okay I'm gonna go for us today and we spent over here right now I to be so funny if you make us laugh some let's you can I feel like you didn't hear me when I said this last night and I feel like you actually haven't heard me for 2 weeks and right now I feel like I'm gonna stay here anymore and I feel like a modem on my shit out take the kid and when I go that's how I feel right now and he gets to look at me and say I gotta I get that you're feeling right now like you want to go and I get the feeling like having her and I get that you're feeling like I haven't heard you would 2 freaking weeks I get it to feel like I got to and I guess that no you know what there's more that and they'll be more sometimes they won't be in some kind of signal what yes I feel it got me you got me Ifill gotten okay now you go and then he gets to go on to get the sale is shit I I feel like ... sex could be better and you know it's been as much fun lately whereas you know had heading hut had we not had this container that Lauren has taught us to set up a child delineate very well in just a moment it it him saying this a deficit to me it would be a it would it would just shake my whole character and now I know that it's actually just what's crossing his path right now man it's not really true so I get to say has some I get sex doesn't mean that much fun lately and I get that you're feeling like nothing's been fun lately and down I get that this is how you're feeling I really got it I've really got it and he gets to say okay you know there's another thing I had to sit there and and for probably the first year of doing this getting resolved process I couldn't sit still a all I wanna do is cry or worse my punishment on the planet when I'm feeling punished status when self probably the craziest thing ever a but now we sit there and I just listen and I wait until I feel like I've heard everything he feels like he said everything and I get the town that I got all of this all of these details that he said and in that space right after I've been gotten and he's been gotten what we have left most the time to start laughing and most the time wind up having great sex might after that because of nothing lasts there's nothing left in the space it didn't fit so that's a cop to diagnose your ability as mine says get called on your shit and own it A. S. A. P. and say you're sorry another 2 accept the apology because it's been a really long time all apologize for the sub that I've done that I know I shouldn't be doing and I know exactly what part of me it is I'll say I'm sorry in 0 bill like mom I don't know I don't believe I'll take like now where until he believes me I have to walk away and go do something else and that's not my nature made sure someone to solve it now fix it now 5 minutes ago it wouldn't we are creating the contexts for a successful relationship but this so the rules of this the first person who goes they get to say everything that's on their mind if you listen carefully you may want to take notes when they're going it's nice to be able to read back what they've said tea to tell them that you've really hurt them really nice you know I do this on the phone with couples a lot and they take notes but so is much more successful when they take notes ... Pippin when you repeat back what your partner has said do it with compassion and do a kindly don't make fun don't be an asshole it it's not nice not nice it's not effective it's not efficient it doesn't it's not about peace that is just you being the brat that you were when you were 5 and feeling Longton I get that really but don't do it here came the pardon remember that you are dating or married to your lesson so how do I get less angry on the planet I get to look at my anger everyday medley that Zack I can rage on the road like no other and it is not enough to really say anything or move is goes like this just look at the person the other car and I feel it it I have this feeling in my body when I see him do it because that's my anger that's my lesson that's my mirror that's my work it just doesn't come out like that comes out with my kids when nobody is looking worse much worse not so much anymore I've gotten 2 full weeks being great number 10 proud of that ... go back and going back a little bit to accept the apologies and really believe in the apology is the key to keeping your romance alive when your partner apologizes for something that they've done and you really do accept the apology really do take it in and wrap your arms around them and love them for it and thank them for it I will keep the romance alive for a really long time ... it keeps the mystery alive it keeps the the the feeling of connectedness alive when you can be apologized to and when you can be believing in the apology is everyone really getting this because a lot of times I don't even believe it when he's saying he's sorry I think is is doing it just smooth over the moment if you feel less says a big deal because we can't roll over that moment even if we think we can indoor at dusk I'm you can in that moment if you roll over it is a snowball to Sweden to build you don't even know but also there's a snowball coming down the mountain landing in your house and it's all those little moments wanna make sure that that super clear there can't be any secrets there can't be any secrets if there are any secrets I swear to you it's better to tell them ice where to you it's better to tell them I know that you think that that's not true their ways to tell them in ways to do it so that it isn't about your healing it really is about the healing of the planet not just you feeling better about things anyone want to dispute me on that right now when is a secret not a good idea to tell okay protium so now let's get into the concept of what Lorne Xander fondly calls bodegas bodegas is very funny term for what you do well you do well when I do well I do well that's my bodega I see a bodega you're in charge of that bodega and I'm in charge of this bodega you're in charge putting gas in the car I'm in charge of the laundry that's my bodega don't mess with my bodega I am the boss of my bodega families the boss of the cars families of Boston the other things he's that's his bodega okay you have to trust the boss to do their job when it comes to the matters in your household got it if you put somebody in charge you a bodega and then you go in there and treat them like some kind of an asshole and like they're not the boss what happens keep the boss the boss and treat the boss like your boss not like some and when you say it again I we and then I think probably the most important point and then we'll go back we'll have questions on the on the getting results part of it the you have to be in love with the person that you've chosen not to you want them to be and it is as Lawrence says it's like loving your child you are no choice what's your person I looked the person my person my Bentley I love that man he's I I love him so much him because he's my person you see and so when he does get really super crazy and I really do feel like I have to go and I want to pack up my stuff I just say it out loud this is the feeling of the moment that I have to resolve for a few and he knows what that word means but this might not be true whatever is going to be about to be said mayor may not be true until its final to scan it and moving on they're gonna be questions about this getting resolved process I wanna take those right now before we get to the end and we have to ration it's frustrating ask anything as you can see there's nothing really to hide in my bodega we what can I do please so what makes me so sure that this is my life partner versus any other part of that I've had a long way nothing nothing I just know that this is the person who's willing to work with me in this way the you you know and he was he was in the work first and I'm not saying that the handle coaching is the only coach in that you can do but lord it works we are too stubborn bastards of humans 2 of us and and it worked it's so it's us every time and that's all that we need is to be softened a little bit there's a great quote in and some of what I've been reading is some a woman called Mohammed Greenwald who was a student to flee Las away and anything that he's written on partnership I would read there's a book called conscious parenting that I would read ... if your parent but she said based on his teachings of love thrives in the sanctuary of acceptance and what this process of getting resolved does is it leads us in a very particular precise and daily way toward accepting what our partner is going through sentence by sentence you guys see that but for you to hear all the crazy meanderings of your partner on a daily basis or weekly basis or some kind of before you every time before you have sex basis which is what Lauren would have us all do is to get resolved right before we have sex every time most of the time we remember it it but if we can do that on a regular basis we are literally learning how to accept the meanderings of the other's mind all the time again and again and that weirdly keeps romance alive weirdly because it takes all of the static out of the space and and listen guys partners not here and you're well my partner any they said and I I don't know how to get into this and I want her to get her to get on board with me all you have to do is to the work yourself and be the example and so even if your partner does not want to do this getting resolved business you just keep apologizing when you see that you've done something wrong and you look them in the eyes and you say I am so sorry I'm really getting that this is how I'm being I'm being just like my mom or dad or whomever you've identified in that they can identify with and I'm really really fucking sorry again just tell me when you want to be near me again and I'll be there you just keep holding the space for the closeness and the softening and it will come ... I have a great example of that in my own life with my sons that yeah who you know had only known me to be a nice house basically you know a volatile sometimes awesome and sometimes a total nut house and keep it took him a year of seeing me in this work and apologizing when I veered off to say okay who who who has done this to you and who tell you this who's on you and now he said no he's working with her so you don't have to force it don't have you can explain what this process is like but you don't have to force it keep your self image keep yourself softening in apologizing all the time other questions yes terrified to tell the truth she might but it's better than this tension in your tissues isn't it right now there's tension in your tissues by now your body is suffering yourselves are suffering there's a secret the secret owns us what I hide owns me so if you tell it and you tell it in this way so scared to tell you this thing but I know that I will actually get cancer if I don't tell you to it to make the world a better place no matter how big or small it is you know no matter how much shame is involved to one genuine intimacy that's how it's genuine intimacy you guys tell the truth how and there's so many little stories in there that everybody has nobody wants to say from your childhood from your adult hood from yesterday that from an hour ago questions please you maybe well you know I don't know there's not one answer but if there really is a period of time that you can set you can say that this person okay so I want this I want peace and I want this intimacy and I want love more than fish needs water and I'm gonna take the next 3 months to be the best best best I'm going to give this job might everything like it would to a job and if at the end of 3 months we look at each other we sit down and we honestly look is totally too sane humans and we say okay the 6 great now let's do this now or at the end of 3 months is just like you know what we tried we've really tried and we really went for it and it was really the best that we could have done and we really believe that cool we call it were friends were beautiful elegant we do it nicely and it's okay it's really okay so you can set the timeframe for yourself don't do in the book in secret tell the person I I've I've been every I know what all tell them that this is what you're doing and tell them in a way that's not a big but it's really just this is this is what we're gonna do I wanna may I buy I want love in my life love in my life of the highest sort for this is what I'm going to do I'm going to do this job for 3 months likes my only job in making quite $1000000 a year doing at $0 here doing I mean do it's so freaking wealth can be sick let's see if this is the right job for you and me what else the next please Lisa what if the blockages yourself blocking you from love that's very good news no that's the best news ever because that we can mark on if that we can work on that so you know you go through your 18 areas and write down the dream for your 18 areas your sex life your romantic life your community your family your your your personal space your house your health by the your relationship to money a relationship to time go through all those in my division for all of those and then we have what to work on tell me why you don't have the 18 of 7 in each one and then we have to work on so I that's easy that's that's where the coaching really does come in handy that's where you sit down this one life you guys one life this go round can you sit down for 5 fucking hours into your home market right under 18 areas so I think so I think it's worth it if the blockages you you know it's me I know that it's me another my relationship it's me shorts me because the minute I'm great and by the schools with my kid this goes with my man this was my parents my sister the minute I'm great guess what happens it's great yup now many of you are single too many how many of you are in a relationship but probably should be single and and I've been there that happens ... art anymore any questions on the bodegas part of it is everybody really trust boss to do their job really ready to lay out who's got what bodega question previously say now they're waiting here like today I'm not in charge of what they're right about a wrong about I'm in charge of me the yes yes how here's what we're doing guys we're learning how to respect each other bike knowledge in the feelings that are passing through our partner no matter what feelings are I am personal items sorry it is no matter what the feelings are we are acknowledging those feelings as true for that person in that moment and that has to be okay it's not that he's always writer I'm always right I'm pretty much never right but that is the feeling that's passing through my body when I really do feel like I want check out of the relationship I really do have to say it otherwise that feeling it's real big and starts to really ruin things so indeed knowledge meant it's just I get that this is how you're feeling in this moment I feel like I got to he does say yes and then we get to mine and then I get sick feel gotten and then in that long we both feel got number both disliked I love you I really love you there's nothing left who has a question right near you though yeah yeah I'm what he let's say it's something you're your actually I was feeling perhaps you heard me my love it doesn't matter doesn't matter to us what's happening we see it doesn't matter if it's like who are you to decide if this is craziness or if it's really his feeling it yes the change I got it idea so he's indicated something about you is giving him pause give me an example bulk for boys were never giving them enough he I have a recommendation to the ladies in the house everyday I'm not saying sex and hold off on the for a second you guys get to design how many times a week you do have sex so you he gets to clear that you're not giving him enough sex you get to say you know what I get things thing about sex I get that that's how you feel he gets begotten and you say you know when I get that I I I I I feel like you know maybe I don't feel sexy enough with you and you're not you know you're not making me feel sexy not whatever it is that's going through your mind I have no idea anything you'd like to share yeah yeah great so you get that that's all your design that's all your design to get the sale that he gets to hear you and hit hell start to hear over the course of time all the guys will start to your over the course of time how right like that all of us to say you're going we I don't really like this body even a little bit and they'll start to be a little warmer to us in that way they'll start to hear like this is really your experience you really experience in that you're ashamed of your body and hopefully in the in the consummation of this resolution space of getting resolved hill sort of actually take care of you in that way hopefully okay but the other side is this and I it's going back to what I was just about say to the ladies and some of your not gonna like this but we really are here to serve we really are here to serve our men we're really here to serve our men and when we get into that mind space and not just for men but our children and our parents women women you are the most powerful thing on this planet you really are here to serve everybody around you and if you make that a problem it's fucking problem but if you make it into what your services and your privilege on this planet then we have something amazing going on and then every day most every day thinking you it's not that I get no I get where you're saying it's not every day it's not every day but I get it again but it's ha I she has 2 kids I really understand it's a matter of about 15 minutes earlier in the morning wake I can do that I can do 15 minutes early in the morning so that my man has a great day sorry sorry nnova 13 you how old are you 12 you promise me you'll email me in like 6 years go over it then you the check and see if any more questions before I close in the back when do you know the your karmic contract is done with this person yeah I say it goes back to my my earlier answer to this young lady witches you set a time frame around this thing and you give it your all give it your all for that period of time you really do mum when you first met guys the blush of first love everything feels secret Amer secret everything believes everything Phil sacred if you can go to that headspace for one week for one month 3 months whatever it is that you've designed with your partner and you can go to that space if anything give it your all in that time and then you sit down from like to adults but this is working out is this not working and it's okay but at least 2 really gave it everything you had for that period of time you know that you did okay wanna go reviewing yeah well counselor death that is how much we love not how right we were well counselor deathbed is how much you were able to receive love receiving love implies that we can't tell the truth and hear the truth even as the truth is fairy fickle and volatile and changes and turns into something else our ability to be interested in the other person's happiness rather than being right or what they can do for us is paramount to everything else are you interested in their happiness right now and not just being right or what they can do for you okay P. remember that relationships are really where we get to grow up and we have to learn how to pay attention to another person just as we would our job or our business or yoga or anything that we care deeply about can you make that your practice do and can you realize that the the umbrella over all of this is just cultivating respect in a way that you've never known real respect veering onto reference for this other person and for the connection that you share you the key to genuine intimacy is her cop to attend ness how capable you are of copping to what you do and what you've done and saying you're sorry in believing the other person's apologies key Furthermore is creating this moment to do what we call getting resolved which is where one person gets to talk and see everything that's going through their mind they may or may not be but it's passing through their mind right now and I have to say it all all alone you get to take notes and not say a word while they're talking not one word and take notes because then there when they're done and they've really gotten to the end you get say okay I hear that you have 1234 I hear that there is not an anything whatever they've said it could be that thing that hurt you the most you get to say that you've heard them and that's how they're feeling in the moment until they feel gotten th do you feel like I've bought me now this is another thing and then you get to give that back to them and do you feel like I got you now yes and the other person gets to goes everyone absolutely clear on that process no questions left on that process yes getting resolved the sexy it didn't a reminder that you're dating or married to your lesson so if you whatever you're accusing the other person in doing my man the road rage are my man the angry bastard it's me it's me line isn't coming out as road rage is coming out in other ways justice justice gusting and just as needing work of attention as his and then lastly the ... the bodegas okay if you put somebody new you to decide together and you're in charge of this you're in charge of this if you put somebody in charge of that bodega that area of your life that's the boss man boss lady you can't treat the boss so when I say this word I'll tell you what after you can't you can't treat the boss poorly that's all you can't you're not allowed to treat the boss poorly you wouldn't do it if you were getting paid don't treat the boss poorly it and lastly ... be in love with that person and who they are to them the person just like a child just like your parents that's who they are choose them love them that's your person let me remind you what we read at the beginning love is not a feeling I pardon love is not a feeling and emotions are not reality and never is this is important to remember is in the domain of relationship love is built brick by brick from the ground up to practice like a palace or a cathedral and there are no shortcuts every day owns lowest calling is to seduce in separate man from his soul leave him aimlessly wandering a woman's highest calling is to lead man to his soul so as to unite him with source do a man's Lois calling is to ambush in force way into life of woman man's highest calling is to protect women so she is free to walk the earth unharmed and this is a beautiful a few lines that I've extrapolated from John o'donoghue on marriage yeah may you love the gaze of each other's mind mayor words be touched by reference for each other may sleep fine nuclear of anger and hurt and my love bring it home to each folder hands how lucky we are to have this conversation may we all be blessed with mercy and grace and I love and think you all think it about Liane thank you Lawrence Xander and thank you all from nnst //

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